potty training nightmare

[yankeechick]

well my dd just turned 3 at the end of june. she will pee pee on the potty and wears panties all day long. well she does great w/ this,but she does not poop everyday so it's hard to know when she has to poop,but when she does it it's in her panties. she poop like every 3 days i don't know if this is normal for a toddler well you name it i have done it -stickers,candy chuckecheese potty chart,everything well how do i get her to poop in the potty?

 

[imthatgirl]

double

 

[imthatgirl]

no thats not normal, not the training oart, but the every 3 days part. i would bring that up with her dr. and i would be adding fiber, in the form of cereal or breads, to her diet.

once you get her regular, then it will be a lot easier to train her.

oh and have her drink more plain water.

 

[Alesia]

no thats not normal, not the training oart, but the every 3 days part. i would bring that up with her dr. and i would be adding fiber, in the form of cereal or breads, to her diet.

once you get her regular, then it will be a lot easier to train her.

oh and have her drink more plain water.

Regular does not mean every day. Some people don't go every day. Some people go several times a day. There is a broad range of what's considered "regular."

 

[imthatgirl]

Regular does not mean every day. Some people don't go every day. Some people go several times a day. There is a broad range of what's considered "regular."

agreed, but it very much needs to be brought to her drs attention. a that age to be going less than once a day is not the norm, by far.

 

[Erin13178]

One of my friends used peanut butter M&M's and it worked great.

I would tell the doc about the lack of poo though.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

DD didn't like going poop in the potty so she'd hold it. If she held it 2 or 3 days, I wasn't too worried. But it got to where it was 4 or 5 days and she'd be really constipated. Then it hurt and she'd be even more afraid to poop in potty. She'd hold it until she had an accident.

I wouldn't say she has to go every day, but she shouldn't hold it than a couple days at a time. Increase her fiber and fluid intake. Raisins and citris (mandarine oranges especially) worked really well because DD loved to eat them. Popcorn seemed to do the trick as well.

Honestly, I think there are some kids that just take longer than others to get the pooping part of potty training. Be patient and she'll get it eventually.

 

[Nanu57v]

DD poops several times a day. I'd be concerned if she didn't go for a whole day.

She started pooping in the potty on her own, because she hated the way it felt in her pullup...(this was BEFORE she was pee trained). How do you know that she poops? Does she tell you or do you smell it or what? We also found chocolate to be a great motivator.

 

[mom~of~2]

DD was completely trained for pee pee before she turned 3. Poops were a different story... we didn't get that taken care of until she was close to 4 (but it DID happen!). DD preferred to poop in a diaper. She wore underwear all day long as soon as we got #1 trained. But, when she had to poop she would ask for a diaper. I don't know why she needed to do this... but that's what she needed. At first, she would ask for a diaper and go to her preferred place to do it. We gave into giving her the diaper (I was very afraid of the terrible constipation problems that can develop from "holding" it too long). My approach was to give her the diaper but encourage her to move to the bathroom. Eventually, we got her to go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet even though she had a diaper on (she always did this - we never had any accidents but there was no way she would go without the diaper). This was a SLOW process. She actually reached a point where she would grab a diaper (we have diapers in the house due to her younger sister), put it on HERSELF and, sit on the toilet all on her own. We struggled to get her to try without the diaper. Finally, 1 month shy of her 4th birthday, she finally did it. One time is all it took and she has never turned back. For us it was finding the right incentive combined with (and most importantly) her being ready. Our sweet DD is VERY strong willed. No reward in the world was going to work until she was ready. Believe me, we tried it ALL. It was so disheartening for me to hear all my friends' stories about using stickers, M&Ms, dollar store toys, etc... I offered all of those and much, much more and it just wasn't going to work in our case.

Best of luck to you. (Don't worry - it will happen! )

 

[labdogs42]

I feel your pain. My 3.5 yo DS has the pee thing down cold, but he still poops in his underwear. I WISH he would ask for a Pull Up! But, no, he poops in his underwear and then tells me, "I think I pooped in my underwear." It is kind of funny, but I try to be kind of neutral about the whole thing. We just go to the bathroom and dump the poo in the potty, clean him up and put on new underwear. Sometimes he poops three times a day, so this can be quite a pain in the neck (and a lot of poopy underwear)! But, I'm trying not to put too much pressure on him (we do mention that it will be so great to poop on the potty, etc, but I just try not to mention it too much), so he doesn't end up constipated. He did successfully pop on the potty a few times, but it isn't consistent. Like I said, I feel your pain.

 

[jenseib]

This IS very normal. Kids have a harder time pooping on the potty, becuase some feel like it is a part of them going in the toilet.
Each child deals with it differently. My son (who is 19 now and would kill me for posting this) was pee trained forever, but would only ppop in the diaper, which I put him in one each night, becuase it did take years beofre he made it through the night dry. He would immediatly poop and then I would have to change him. So I could count on two diapers a night.
My sister DD is 4 1/2 and still has problems pooping on the toilet. Just last week she started to go in her underwear at my moms house. She holds it till she can't take it anymor and then goes in little bits, till she finally can get it all out. LOL! But she will go several days sometimes. And then it's like she has to work up hrnerve to do the whole thing. She does get sonstipated sometimes and my sister has had to pry it out of her. If your child used to go more regualrly, then that may happen too. It wouldn;t hurt to say soemthing to your DR, but I doubt much can be done other than diet.

 

[yankeechick]

she goes in hide and then you smell it and then she crys and runs off when you go to change her. she does not care if she has poop in her pants!

 

[Alesia]

Pooping in the potty is actually very traumatic for a lot of kids. Psychologists say its because the think of the poop as a part of their body, which does make sense if you can get into a toddler frame of mind. A lot times pushing the issue just makes them more fearful. If you can catch her right before she goes, and I do mean right before she goes, put her on the potty. Once she actually does it, she may be okay with it.

Unless she is constipated, I wouldn't add more fiber to her diet. That can sometimes lead to cramping, which leads to holding it, which leads to constipation, which leads to even more fear of going.

 

[crisi]

She isn't ready to train, for whatever reason. Put her back in diapers, don't make her feel ashamed about it, just say "we'll try this again when you are ready." It may be she is scared to use the big potty - and is holding it (and constipation can become a big deal if she is doing this). Did she poop more regularly when she was in diapers?

You can't MAKE a child use the potty. They decide to use it. When you figure this out, life will become much easier for you and for her.

 

[yankeechick]

she has always poop like that she doesnt hold it and its not hard so i dont think she needs fiber. her dr. said that this is normal. im just pulling my hair out bc she never pees in her pants. you ask her where are you suppose to poop and she says in the toilet so im

 

[SueM in MN]

You can't MAKE a child use the potty. They decide to use it. When you figure this out, life will become much easier for you and for her.

When you think about it, pooping is a much more complicated process than urinating. Instead of just releasing, it involves a lot of abdominal control to push the right way to get it out. Also, boys especially, but girls too can look down and watch the urine come out. But, they can feel the poop come out, but can't watch it. It's no wonder some kids are afraid that something else might come out with the poop.
This article has a lot of good points.

 

[mjkacmom]

Does she ask to poop in a diaper? 3 of my 5 pee trained months before poop, and it's common. The 3 days would concern me - witholding can lead to permanant bowel damage, causing serious issues. Trust me - eventually she will poop in the potty. However, if she wants to poop in a diaper, please, please let her. There are message boards out their for parents of children who withheld, and now have very embarrassing problems.

 

[mjkacmom]

She isn't ready to train, for whatever reason. Put her back in diapers, don't make her feel ashamed about it, just say "we'll try this again when you are ready." It may be she is scared to use the big potty - and is holding it (and constipation can become a big deal if she is doing this). Did she poop more regularly when she was in diapers?

You can't MAKE a child use the potty. They decide to use it. When you figure this out, life will become much easier for you and for her.

DO NOT put her back in diapers - she is pee trained! That's like saying put a child back in diapers because he's not night trained. Pee/poop/night - don't always happen at the same time.

 

[labdogs42]

You could just stock up on underwear like I did and just keep on washing them until she stops pooping in them!!

 

[sk!mom]

I wouldn't shame her or stress. I would simply tell her that panties are for big girls who go in the toilet and then I would put her back in diapers for a few weeks. In a few weeks, I would take her to buy really cute new panties and tell her that she could wear them when she was ready. I would also choose some type of big girl reward and tell her she could have it only when she is fully trained.

For my DD it was a Barbie. She had been asking for one so I finally bought one and put it up on the mantle and told her that she could have it when she gave up diapers as it was a "big girl" toy. She was out of diapers at 2 years 4 months. There was really no training- she wanted the big girl panties and the Barbies- She only had one false start - went back in dipes for a few weeks and gave up diapers on the second try.

Every child is different but this worked for me.