Posters with average kids unite!

[Toad_Passenger]

I had to think about this one for a little bit, before I responded.

Because, you know, my first reaction was, "My kids aren't average!"

And then I thought, "Wait, do I actually know any average kids?" And I realized that I don't. They're all good at one thing, and bad at another, and they're all unique and overflowing with exciting potential. Because, of course, they're kids! We don't know yet what they'll do with their lives.

Which got me to wondering, "What about adults? Do I know any average adults?" After all, we could say an adult has arrived at where ever they're going to go - so we should be able to say whether they're "average" or not.

My best friend is a self-described, "Parasite on the body politic." Her lifelong battle with mental illness probably means we can't call her average.

My husband just won a lifetime achievement award for his contribution to the community. He's not average!

My father in law was an auto-body repairman his whole life. I suppose if you looked at his hands, all stained with chemicals, and tried to speak to him (he wasn't a man of very many words), you might think he was "average". But that just means you didn't know him very well. He didn't have any formal learning, but he had a mind like a steel trap. I remember once opening up the newspaper and finding a quiz on "How much do you know about Northern Ontario?" I read a question out loud and he said, "A." The next question, "C." He got every last one right, because he'd lived it all and remembered everything - dates, names, right down to the tiniest details.

My mother in law didn't finish high school... until she was in her forties. Which was a fantastic achievement, considering the obstacles she had to overcome in her youth. Nope, she's not average, either.

So, I guess I'd just like to register a formal objection to the idea of "average". No one's average. We're all fascinating, interesting people, with our own unique strengths and weaknesses.

And that is the point of this thread. Your DH won an award, but I'm sure, even without that award, he'd be better than average in your mind.

We see so many posts about "Sally" didn't get chosen for this, or "Johnny" didn't win this award, or whatever. The point is, those things don't matter. Each person is their own person, with their own talents, etc. You don't need an award, or whatever to be good at what you're good at.

So this thread is for all of those "average" kids who don't win every award, or accolade, but are still loved, and will go on to great things!

 

[disneyjunkie]

No one's average. We're all fascinating, interesting people, with our own unique strengths and weaknesses.

 

[Mermaid02]

And that is the point of this thread. Your DH won an award, but I'm sure, even without that award, he'd be better than average in your mind.

We see so many posts about "Sally" didn't get chosen for this, or "Johnny" didn't win this award, or whatever. The point is, those things don't matter. Each person is their own person, with their own talents, etc. You don't need an award, or whatever to be good at what you're good at.

So this thread is for all of those "average" kids who don't win every award, or accolade, but are still loved, and will go on to great things!

Exactly. It's a common theme here and has been for a LONG time.

And for the poster who said we are all letting our kids "slide by", I don't think so. They do their best and I can't ask for more than that and I won't push them to be THE BEST in everything they do. The only BEST they need to strive for is their personal best. All those grade school/middle school and dare I say high school trophies end up in the attic covered in dust and long forgotten.

 

[MushyMushy]

DON'T PANIC!!!!!

This was how i was. I was a horrible student (C's and D's) but I tested above average. i was lazy and unmotivated in class, sucked at sports and would prefer to sit in my room and stare at the ceiling..

AND NOW...

I am a powerful respected Executive. Just give your kids support and encouragement, challenge them... it could be he is bored, or just a different thinker and not interested in whatever everyone else is doing when they do it.

Thank you! That is such an inspiration. My son's actually past high school now. Up until the last month of school, it wasn't a certainty that he would even finish, so I'm so proud that he did. The number one question I get asked when people are asking about him is "Where did he go to college?" That always gives me a little pang, because who wouldn't want their child to go on to school and live up to their potential? But I AM proud of how he's doing for himself. He got a job in a local factory, and the unemployment rate is pretty high where we live. He works 10+ hours a day, 6 days a week and went from being a temp to a permanent hire at this place -- he's one of only 4 people to have been hired permanently. His work ethic is STRONG.

I still have hopes that he'll realize that he needs more education to go farther, but I am so proud of how far he's come.

No one is saying they're letting their kids "slide by." We're just having a little fun in showing that gathering as many awards as possible in Elementary/Middle/High School shouldn't be the main focus of growing up. There are plenty of kids out there who would be considered "average" but will ascend to the same heights as those who are award-grabbers.

That is so true! It's so cool going to class reunions and seeing those who were never in the limelight living these incredibly successful lives. I know one woman who might have only won an award for being the most notorious party girl is now a published author. I wonder what the reaction was at bdoyledimou's class reunion, if people were surprised he really succeeded in life after his lackluster performance in school?

 

[punkin]

Most kids are average. That's a statistical fact. However, I still want my children to do the best they can and will push them when necessary.

I will also point out that while my children may look "average" from your perspective. In my eyes, they are perfect and better than anyone else. That's the way mothers are constructed. I think that's a good thing.

 

[monkeybug]

Most kids are average. That's a statistical fact. However, I still want my children to do the best they can and will push them when necessary.

I will also point out that while my children may look "average" from your perspective. In my eyes, they are perfect and better than anyone else. That's the way mothers are constructed. I think that's a good thing.

Hmmm I must be a poorly constructed mother, because while I do love my kids above all others, I don't think they are perfect, or better than anyone else.
Mothers love their kids despite their imperfections, but they don't ignore them either! I think THAT'S a good thing!

 

[carone0318]

I think that I have average kids who each in their own way have some skills that they are above average and excel at. They pride themselves on those skills and hold their head's high when they talk about those things. I think everyone deserves that one thing - maybe it's they can stare the longest out of all their friends or they are prompt for all their activities. Maybe they are not the best on the team, but they are always at all the practices or games. It could be anything seen as a positive.

I think it is extremely important, especially for kids, to have something/anything that they are really good at and can pride themselves on that thing(s). It helps build their self-esteem and confidence.

I know there is one boy in my dd's 8th grade class who she will say he is so strange, he gets in trouble for reading during class (his own books, not what the subject is calling for) and he carries around a dictionary. I always tell her, leave that kid alone, that's his thing that he's good at, let him be. It might be all he has.

 

[paintnolish]

All kids are exceptional in some ways. DD is a dancer (just joined the dance team) and ds is a writer and illustrator (won the Young Author contest), but they are pretty aweful at sports. They got awards at their school's field day yesterday. They both won 3rd place in the frisbee throw!!!

 

[Kit'smommy]

If you are ok with just letting your kid slide by, great, we are not.

This post isn't about letting your kids slide by and I think that is a completely unfair thing to say.

I so appreciate the poster who started this thread! My DS is only six and is a gorgeous child. Seriously, nearly ever one we meet comments on how beautiful he is. He is sweet and gentle and has a good heart.

However, even now our family and his teacher think he is not going to be a rocket scientist and the child is completely devoid of any ability with anything physical.

I figure he just hasn't found his "thing" yet, but if he grows up kind and lovable and does his best, it is ok if he isn't brilliant or athletically gifted.

 

[mymermaid]

I'm mom to average kids here. They are happy, well adjusted, feel no pressure to be in "competition" with anyone. Around here you get the feeling that a lot of parents and kids try to one up. I teach mine that we encourage others and to be that friend that lifts the other person up.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I just want to point out that, no matter how average or mediocre you may think your child is... you child excels at being her- or himself. Nobody can be better at that than your child, not even a sibling.

Sorry to ruin everybody's day

 

[dogluva]

I don't see anyone here 'letting' their kids slide by. I just see a bunch of people not hung up on their children being 'the best'. As parents, of course it is our job to push our kids to be the best that THEY can be. However, there is certainly nothing wrong if the best they can do is 'average'.

I always wonder where the average kids are since so many on this board are above average if not superior.

Most kids are average. That is why average is average.

 

[Magic Mom]

I love this thread. Look at all these posts so far, and not a single "snowflake!"

No snowflakes...just cold raindrops.

 

[marlynnp]

From what I've seen all the posters here do have average children - they just don't want to admit it.
I guess that isn't cool or something?

 

[bdoyledimou]

Thank you! That is such an inspiration. My son's actually past high school now. Up until the last month of school, it wasn't a certainty that he would even finish, so I'm so proud that he did. The number one question I get asked when people are asking about him is "Where did he go to college?" That always gives me a little pang, because who wouldn't want their child to go on to school and live up to their potential? But I AM proud of how he's doing for himself. He got a job in a local factory, and the unemployment rate is pretty high where we live. He works 10+ hours a day, 6 days a week and went from being a temp to a permanent hire at this place -- he's one of only 4 people to have been hired permanently. His work ethic is STRONG.

That is GREAT! I teach my kids that no matter what they do, or what they choose as a career/job, that as long as they do it to the best of their ability, they will succeed.

I didn't "blossom" until i was 23.. I actually dropped out of high school at 16, and didn't go back until i was 20.. then I worked my butt off to get my diploma and try to find myself. But i did it.. top of the class too

For me, "grades" aren't important, it's their understanding of what they are learning and doing, and how to apply that practically in the real world. Thats what the education system is missing these days.. is the PRACTICAL use of things. When my daughter complained about why she needed to learn fractions, i had her help me make banana bread... and she learned how fractions were used in the measuring of items... and then she GOT it..

High five your son for finding himself, being strong and true and working hard. Those are traights that are hard to come by in this age of entitlement.

 

[Becky2005]

Well....I have fairly average kids (and below average) However...we aren't so sure what to make of this one but my daughter got voted "Most likely to be on TV for the wrong reasons" by drama club at the end of this year.

She wasn't too sure what to think of that either.

With 4 kids, I run the gamut...none of them are going to be #1 in their class ranks though. LOL! That's OK.

 

[Bunnyfeather]

I think it's easy to get and give a skewed view on a message board. After all, it feels kind of silly to respond to a thread about ballet to say "Yes, my DD takes ballet and when she works really hard at it, she can achieve averageness at dancing. She has average rhythym and can do her dance staps about as well as all the other kids."

So while people who know me in real life know my DD takes dance and neither excels or fails at it, it doesn't come up on a message board. I am proud of her, and I might even mention her hard work at it, but I wouldn't point out the utter mediocrity of her achievement level. Nor would I point out on a message board that she is doing great at age-appropriate academic work, although I am proud of that, too.

But I might post on a thread about gymnastics because that is where I would feel I have something interesting to say (even though my kid is just pretty good rather than a future Olympic athlete). and then we end up with academic and dance threads full of talented kids' parents where I didn't post and a gymnastics thread full of talented kids' parents where I might post and it looks like all these parents think their kid is perfect in every way when really we just don't want to bore everyone on the message board.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Me Me Me!!! I will take my 4 so far average kids over friends whose kids they first thing out of their mouths is tell you they are in the Gifted and Talented Class.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

FINALLY, a thread where I can feel at home.

My girls are great, I love them more than life itself. But they drive me up the wall. Not too long ago someone posted a thread called "i'm sorry i was so smug" and it was all about how her child was wonderful as a toddler, no problems or tantrums and now that her child is a teenager, she is getting paid back for being 'smug".
My situation mirrors that exactly, times 2. My girls when they were toddlers never threw a tantrum, people always commented on how polite they were for their age. I was like "terrible twos, what's that?"
Fast forward to now. My DD's are 15 and 16 and they are making up for lost time. They are sooooo moody and ungrateful. It drives me up the wall. DD16 who has never had less than a B on a report card, got several C's this year.
She has no motivation as far as her future is concerned. She has some really great qualities and has actually stuck up for me when DD15 would be mean to me. But she lives for the moment, no planning.
So, my DD 15, is the moodiest person on the face of the planet. I will ask her a simple question and I get a short yes or no. Even just a question about how was school today. I honestly think she hates me. I am so tired of the eye rolling.
These girls are driving me crazy. It may not be a good summer. This is the first year I have not been working, so we will be spending a lot of time together this summer. I will try hard to make it a good one, but I don't know how much cooperation I will get.

ETA: It's 2 am and I guess I should have read the other posts. No one is complaining about their kids like I just did. I feel like a bad mother. I actually do know what the word average means, although you can't tell it from my post. Ok, maybe I can spin it like this: My kids are average teenagers! Does that work?

 

[mom2boys]

I am looking for a bumper sticker that says: "My average kid is the one making your over-achiever look so good"

My boys are both smart - always gets As and the one B on his report card. He could get the A in that course too but... The other one, horror of horrors, (hanging my head in shame) is a B student - and he works at that.