Post your quips about here!

[kimsuenew]

I was so embarrassed one day because my older daughter (age 6) was the one doing all the staring. We were at McD's (without Kayla) and there was a group of kids in wheelchairs there. She just kept STARING at them. I kept telling her that it wasn't polite to stare and did she have any questions she wanted to ask me. She said she wasn't staring, just looking. But she was STARING. And as we were leaving she had to comment (loudly) "I'm never going to be in a wheelchair until I'm old like granny." OMG, I could have just DIED. Of course, this is the day I don't have Kayla with me! Maybe they at least saw me get in the car with the autism bumpersticker! I had a long "chat" with my older one on the ride home!

I have worked with with special needs for 23+ years, 12 years with children at a school and the rest with adults in a workshop setting. I recently quit full-time to go to college to become a special education teacher (lifelong dream) and miss it so much (I still sub when my schedule allows).

My best friend Susie (we met back in the 80's working in the workshop) has a story that is priceless. We were always encouraged to involve our own children at work (they could volunteer, visit, help with fundraisers, activities, and dances, and so on). Susie and I both always did that and our children were around whenever the opportunity was there. Sadly, Susie and her son Cody moved away, where she took a similar job in Cincinnati.

She called one time and said she had to tell me a story that I would appreciate. They (her and Cody) were travelling on a small get-a-way and were at McDonald's when a van (perhaps a group home) full of special needs adults came in. Susie caught Cody staring and was mortified. She said she bent over and quietly reamed him about staring, to which he innocently replied "Mom I am just trying to see if I know any of them!"

 

[goofieslonglostsis]

I must admit I can be a handfull.

I'm known for saying things like 'I got the chair because I'm lazy'. I can do this in such a manner some people even start to wonder if I'm serious before they get my point.

Other classics of mine are 'I'm not walking off' when people try to reassure me I'm not in their way while I'm obviously are and they obviously feel uptight about me moving to make way. Combine it with a smile, and people most of the time start to relax and act normall.

Standing in line and people complaining or staring at me? "Poor all of you, having to stand and wait. I don't care, I'm sitting, how do you're feet feel?"

Men staring? "yeah, I know I'm irresistable, but I'm out of your league, sorry".

People really going overboard? I'll let them know what I think of it in a situation suitable way if I feel lke it. For instance, once I ran into some obnoxious guys that found it so funny to try and make a fool out of me, by 'playing the cripple'. Somehow they thought I had spasms, or that should have been funny? Well, 'crippled' me had a big 'spasm' just when we passed their table. Of course I couldn't help it that my arm 'accidently' hit one of their glasses of beer and oops...... knocked it right over the t-shirt and trousers'. Poor crippled spasmed me.

Most of the time a subtle hint is enough. I'm just too much of a person to take myself with a grain of salt in that department and actually like joking around about for instance the chair too much to not do it regularly.

 

[OneLittleSpark]

People really going overboard? I'll let them know what I think of it in a situation suitable way if I feel lke it. For instance, once I ran into some obnoxious guys that found it so funny to try and make a fool out of me, by 'playing the cripple'. Somehow they thought I had spasms, or that should have been funny? Well, 'crippled' me had a big 'spasm' just when we passed their table. Of course I couldn't help it that my arm 'accidently' hit one of their glasses of beer and oops...... knocked it right over the t-shirt and trousers'. Poor crippled spasmed me.

Love it!!!!

I sometimes go for the 'shock factor' to knock some sense into people. I tend to call myself a cripple loudly in public places, especially if everyone around me is treating me like one (just want to add, I would never, ever call anyone else this, other than a friend of mine who is well and truly 'in on the joke').

Most of the time, however, I just try to provide gentle reminders that actually I'm not all that different. I was at a huge Folk festival over the weekend with music, dancing and ceilidhs going on from the early hours of the morning to... well... the early hours of the morning! I did get one or two people come up to me and tell me they were so impressed that I was dancing despite having a wheelchair. I know they meant well, so resisted the temptation to return with a sarcastic remark, and instead just smiled and said "I'm just doing the same as everyone else, except that I'm on wheels". It was sooooooooooo tempting to reply with "And I'm so impressed that you're dancing on your feet, I can't manage that!", but I thought that would be mean .

Love the comments, keep them coming!!

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Most of the time, however, I just try to provide gentle reminders that actually I'm not all that different. I was at a huge Folk festival over the weekend with music, dancing and ceilidhs going on from the early hours of the morning to... well... the early hours of the morning! I did get one or two people come up to me and tell me they were so impressed that I was dancing despite having a wheelchair. I know they meant well, so resisted the temptation to return with a sarcastic remark, and instead just smiled and said "I'm just doing the same as everyone else, except that I'm on wheels". It was sooooooooooo tempting to reply with "And I'm so impressed that you're dancing on your feet, I can't manage that!", but I thought that would be mean .

Several years ago I knew a woman who was legally blind since birth (actually could see but only a 4 degree field of vision and then not better than 20/50).

A group of us were in Annapolis and all of a sudden a woman comes out of a store and runs into Margaret. The woman was upset but then she saw the white cane and starts falling all over herself trying to extricate her foot from her mouth.

She ended up making the unfortunate statement of "I didn't see you", to which Margaret smiled and said to her "That's OK, I didn't see you either".

 

[got2luvtink]

I'm inspired by ya'lls kid's comments; It is so awesome to see young ones standing up for what is right!
Nicole

I wholeheartedly agree with you! It's so great to see siblings/children sticking up for one another.

to all who have had to endure nasty comments.

Thanks Cindee. Here goes one from me too.


And to everyone else that's shared an oh so clever comment, THANK YOU! They're GREAT!

Keep 'em coming!

 

[SandrainNC]

I was so embarrassed one day because my older daughter (age 6) was the one doing all the staring. We were at McD's (without Kayla) and there was a group of kids in wheelchairs there.

I would not be mad at a 6 year old for staring. Little kids don't know any better. And honestly, the little ones usually will ask questions instead of just looking. Which is fine. As long as they aren't being mean on purpose. Which I know little kids can do too because I have seen it at daycare.

My nephew, who is 20 now, has a type of Aspergers (sp?) but with cognitive delay (took forever to diagnose him because of the delay). Anyway, he was afraid of wheelchairs when he was little. He would see one and get very upset. It embarassed my sister because she didn't want the person in the wheelchair to get their feelings hurt because of the way he reacted. And because his is a hidden disability, people didn't realize what was going on with the reaction. He got over the fear thank goodness.

Sandra

Sandra

 

[mamaloya]

I really didn't get any rude, not intentional anyway, comments. I did get looks of concern. There were a few times when I got looks waiting in the w/c line at a ride from those in the regular queue. They quickly changed from looks of aggravation to looks of pity when they saw me get up and get on the ride, especially PotC and SW. Anything that requires me stepping down or up. The moving walkways were a little awkward as well. I actually did have a CM grab me once when he thought I was going down. Unfortunately that did more harm than good since I am so tender.

I did get a few people politely ask why I was in a chair. It was not intended to be rude, but you know "I look healthy and young." I would simply tell the truth, "RA and lyme disease". Most were like "OH, I am SOOO sorry." There was one guy one night on the boat to FW who was in line talking to me and asked. He also asked why my friend and I were there w/ all our little ones and no dh's. So, he was just a nosy guy. Well, after we got off the boat, he , being a guy, wanted to "fix" my problem by recommended supplements and such. I simply smiled and thanked him for his advice and that I would look into it. Then I had a stranger begin pushing me part of the way from the boat to the bus stop. That was really awkward and I wasn't sure how to respond. My friend was pushing the stroller and I had 2 kids in my lap w/ ds8 pushing me. I guess we looked helpless. I assume he was the type that would have grabbed my groceries and carried them for me if I needed it. Just didn't know what to say/do since I could not even see him.

I have to say though that I REALLY love the "dinosaur attack" remark. I will have to use that one. It will serve to put people in their place politely and lighten the mood.

I also saw a shirt through one of the links somewhere on here that is me to a T (pun intended). "I used to be cute, now I am just fun to watch." I may have to put that in my sig here.

Thanks for all of the comments, I am going to start taking notes and committing these things to memory.

 

[scojos]

i have a similar story...
my boys 10 and 8 argue all the time. When out, an adult was moaning about joshs behaviour (he has aspergers) my ds 10, who has add, turned round and sais " well at least HE is not rude"
errmm, what do you say, it was true???
Tracy

 

[Talking Hands]

I will often get didn't you hear me from people who don't realize I have a hearing impairment. My answer "I have to see you to hear you, sorry" If you are behind me or to the side I may not hear you or may not realize you are addressing me. I read speech very well so most people have no idea I have a hearing loss.

 

[DisneyWheeler]

On our trip to Disney World in January. I had two kids who both looked about 12/14 years old that were staring at me when we were at Hollywood Studios. We were walking right behind them, so they'd keep looking back at us-particularly me, with one of those Looks on their faces like they wanted to say something cruel or funny in a not-so-nice way about me to each other with my mom and 6ft., 2inch godfather right with us.

I had the heart to say, "You wouldn't want someone to make fun of you if you were in my situation, or born with my syndrome." That, and "If you keep staring at me. I might do a trick." Growing up with the syndrome I have isn't easy for those who were born with it. I would give anything if I could have toes that wiggled so that I can wear thong sandals in the summer. Or, the hearing in my left ear to be perfectly normal, and not completely gone.

Samantha

 

[alizesmom]

I usually find people to be very kind but curious about my kids who have obvious disabilities. The one time I was floored was when I had my son out to a restaraunt. The hostess asked if I was taking care of him (he's obviously not mine). I told her no that I was adopting him. She got this dumbfounded look on her face and asked "Why?". Karen

 

[DisneyVillain]

My DD is 6, when an older child (who should have known better) rudely asked her-"eeew what happened to your hand?" without missing a beat she replied "eeew what happened to your manners?

Excellent!

 

[wilde_oscar]

I have posted this before but.....

My DD is 6, when an older child (who should have known better) rudely asked her-"eeew what happened to your hand?" without missing a beat she replied "eeew what happened to your manners?

best answer ever.

 

[got2luvtink]

Excellent!

best answer ever.

I know. LOVE IT! Very impressive.

 

[livndisney]

I usually find people to be very kind but curious about my kids who have obvious disabilities. The one time I was floored was when I had my son out to a restaraunt. The hostess asked if I was taking care of him (he's obviously not mine). I told her no that I was adopting him. She got this dumbfounded look on her face and asked "Why?". Karen

Oooh I have HAD this conversation I have had people walk up to me and tell me "you don't want her, I'll get you a good baby". I am proud to say I did not clock anyone.

But more importantly-congrats on your adoption!!!!!!!!

 

[jenniferlt]

I work with senior citizens and I often observe that they are treated like children in the same way a disabled person is marginalized. People say things like "isn't she cute" as if 1. the older person is deaf 2. the older person is more like a kitten than the highly educated, experienced and unique individual that she is. People often speak to me instead of the older person. I often reply "I don't know ask her." It's funny though, people really don't get why it is not okay to call an old person cute or precious. Sorry I don't have any funny quips, but I'll have to remember these!

 

[starrzone]

Several years ago I knew a woman who was legally blind since birth (actually could see but only a 4 degree field of vision and then not better than 20/50).

A group of us were in Annapolis and all of a sudden a woman comes out of a store and runs into Margaret. The woman was upset but then she saw the white cane and starts falling all over herself trying to extricate her foot from her mouth.

She ended up making the unfortunate statement of "I didn't see you", to which Margaret smiled and said to her "That's OK, I didn't see you either".

This reminds me of something my grandmother told me that still makes me SO angry and sad when I think of it...not a big thing at all in the long run, but still...

Mygrandmother has macular degeneration, which means that her eyesight is very poor. She is actually completely blind in one eye and can barely see out of the other one, but she manages very well and can still write cheques, etc. and read words if they are dark and large. My grandmother has an absolute heart of gold and would do anything for anybody, and opens her home and heart to people of all backgrounds.

She was in a large, major discount store once (she doesn't go out shopping much any more, partly because of her eyesight and partly because she's just getting older) and needed help with the price of something (anyone else notice that writing on tags is VERY small and hard to read?). She asked a young cashier for help, and the girl said, and I quote, "It's right there!" and walked away.

See, I told you it wasn't a big thing, but it made me VERY mad when she told me this and still burns me up to this day. I almost wish I had been there, because I would have said something like "Oh, it's right there? I thought an employee was 'right here' too, but I guess I was wrong. Perhaps customer service can help!", and walked over and given them the "employee's" name.

 

[Christine43]

Not quite the same, but I had a friend that used a leash on her child. When people made negative comments about it, she would say "I keep him on a leash ever since he bit the mailman".

I have an autistic son and I hope you don't mind if I use that someday; that was priceless.

 

[Christine43]

I have had people walk up to me and tell me "you don't want her, I'll get you a good baby". I am proud to say I did not clock anyone.

:

Seriously???!!! My God, what is WRONG with some people??? I have three boys on the autistic spectrum and I have had my share of staring and comments and have a repertoire of answers depending on the person. I am a fairly calm person but if someone said something like that to me I honestly think I'd go into some kind of crazed ninjamommy mode and take them out. Why are these sociopaths walking free?

 

[Matt'sMom]

Seriously???!!! My God, what is WRONG with some people??? ... Why are these sociopaths walking free?

Well, since you asked...

In the majority of cases, I believe they simply are not as informed/educated in regards to what it is like to live with certain disabilities and conditions on a daily basis. I really do not believe most of them mean any harm. They are often either just curious, or simply do not realize how hurtful some of their comments might be.

For example, I am a survivor whose life was impacted by a genuine (diagnosed as such) sociopath. I know first hand what a 'real' sociopath is like, how twisted their mind is and how thoroughly terrifying they can be to deal with--thankfully most people will never have that experience in their lifetime. As a result of my experience, I would never casually call a person a sociopath, even in jest, simply because they made a comment that I did not like. But at the same time, I am confident that Christine did not mean any harm (and I took no offense) when she made the above 'sociopath' comment.

Sometimes we need to stand strong and try to develop a bit thicker skin... for our own sake & the sakes of our family members. A snipy come-back in the heat of the moment might make one feel better, momentarily--if only in a 'get even' sort of way. But that sort of behavior only spreads the bad feelings. Education can go a lot further towards making this a more pleasant (& empathetic) world for all of us.