Lately I've been having some anxiety problems, and I feel like this is a secure place to vent my feelings. So being second best, or someone's second choice is one of my worst fears. All through my life I have been number one in pretty much everything, from winning valedictorian at my school, to getting the lead in the play, I have always been the smartest, or the best at stuff, and I think this over time has caused me to develop a fear of rejection and failure. I'm afraid of not standing out, or not being the best, and its starting to cause me anxiety when I hear that someone got an award over me or something.
One thing I will be doing to try and curb these feelings is buying a keyboard so I can take back up piano, and I'm going to teach myself to play some songs on guitar, and hopefully this will give me something that I feel I can show for hard work.
Do you guys have any self help steps or advice I can use/take that will help me get over these feelings?
After months and months, I've finally decided to write a fanfic.
And of all the ideas I had, I picked Animal Crossing.
I should really kick myself for this.
I finished readning Catching Fire, and I'm half way through Mockingjay. Everyone in the book reminds me so much of a family member that any time a life is threatened, my mental stability is threatened too.
Lives are over rated. I'm going to write a story about an anti social girl, and how her life tries to bring her into the lime light and give her a social life, but she realises what she wanted (a life) isn't very worthwhile and just wants to return to her old life of blogging and stuff. Well that's the basis, but I don't know if I'll ever have the urge I need to write it.
My pile of Disney tapes in the corner are stacked like that. Except Fantasia and Basil the Great Mouse Detective are at the top, because I found them weeks after doing that, and can't be bothered to move them into the right order...