Poll -- How To Handle This Ex Situation?

[Daxx]

Poll coming! But, here's the background story while you're waiting.

My brother was married for 5 yrs. when his wife shocked him by serving him w/divorce papers. Divorce is said and done, they've gone their separate ways and share custody of their two children (girl age 6, boy age 3).

When they were getting married, for a shower gift, I made a scrapbook. I contacted everyone invited to the wedding and asked them to send photos and a note to the couple. I put these all into a gorgeous scrapbook. Well, my brother has "custody" of the scrapbook. He called last night and asked if I'd rework the scrapbook to eliminate her side from it. In talking, he asked if he should send the photos/well wishes back to her, keep them in an envelope somewhere and give them if she asked for them, etc. I came up w/the idea of keeping the book intact and just handing it down to his daughter when the time was right.

So, we're interested in hearing what you would do if you were in the same situation ... thus the poll.

Thanks for your input!!!!!

 

[Melissa M]

I say keep the book intact. My grandmother used to cut the exes out of pictures. I always thought that was awful. The kids will want that book someday. They love both of their parents. It would be tough for them to see their mother cut out of the scrapbook.

 

[diznygirl]

I agree that it should be put away to be handed down to the children. That is what I'm doing for my nephew - my brother had fun destroying all the wedding pics, but my copies will go to my nephew when he is older. You can't erase history. And it may be important to the children later on.

 

[KelNottAt]

As the daughter of divorced parents I can say that I cherish everything that depicts "the good ol'" days of my parents' marriage.

 

[HeatherFeather]

I would leave it alone. We have some formal pics of DH and his ex wife. They are in a box and someday we will give them to his daughter. The kids will want pics of their parents together even if they divorced later on.
Could you maybe take the book to kinko's or somewhere and have the pages copied?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Leave the book "as is"....If he wants you to make up a NEW scrapbook then do that. Ask for "custody" of the scrapbook in exchange for a new one to him.

 

[RadioNate]

My parents are divorced. I have their wedding album. Like these children I was young and I don't really remember my parents being married. I'm glad my mother didn't distroy the album and guest book. It shows me that even though so much happened, that they did love eachother once.

 

[NMAmy]

Oh, no, give it to the kids. Once he has has time to recover, he'll realize that they deserve to see their parents together and happy.

I gave mine to dd soon after my ex and I divorced. She's now 16 and she still has it in a special place in her room. She was the result of that marriage and I'll never regret it for that very reason. Her dad and I did love each other very much for more than 10 years. I'm now able to look back on those pictures and remember him in a more loving, reminiscent way--not the way things ended up.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Keep the book intact. This is part of the kids history.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

Keep the book intact and make him a scrapbook of his kids.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I think the book should stay as is for the kids sake. It will probably thrill them to know that they were conceived from love. Best wishes to your brother & his family!

 

[magicmato]

Make photocopies of the book and have fun with him destroying them. Then save the real one for the children.

 

[inaminute]

Just because they're divorced doesn't mean the marriage never happened. I think it's important for children to know their parents were once happy together. I vote for keeping the book intact and handing it down to the children.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I agree with the others, keep it intact and hand down to the kids.

On a personal note, my MIL cut out DH's Ex-wife from all the pictures she had and then shared the photo albums with me. To me, that was very creepy. I have a friendly relationship with DH's ex and she is the mother of his children, MIL's grandchildren. I just don't understand trying to act like someone never existed.

 

[Daxx]

Thanks for the replies! It was my idea to keep the book intact and pass it along to his daughter, so I will try to push that agenda.

Just to clear the air ... DB did not want me to cut ex-wife out of photos ... just take "her" pages out (the ones I created that pertain to her side of the family rather than his).

 

[SwedishMeatball]

Whether she is in the book or not, it still all pertains to their wedding. So I don't see him wanting to sit around and look through it anyway. It should most definitely be left as is and passed on to the children.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Thanks for the replies! It was my idea to keep the book intact and pass it along to his daughter, so I will try to push that agenda.

Just to clear the air ... DB did not want me to cut ex-wife out of photos ... just take "her" pages out (the ones I created that pertain to her side of the family rather than his).

I understood that, but I wanted to share my creepy experience.

 

[Daxx]

I understood that, but I wanted to share my creepy experience.

Oh, I know ... and your experience was def. creepy!!!!

 

[minnieandme]

Keep the book intact. This is part of the kids history.

ITA

 

[disykat]

I agree with the others, keep it intact and hand down to the kids.

On a personal note, my MIL cut out DH's Ex-wife from all the pictures she had and then shared the photo albums with me. To me, that was very creepy. I have a friendly relationship with DH's ex and she is the mother of his children, MIL's grandchildren. I just don't understand trying to act like someone never existed.

Creepy! Sounds like MIL was sending you a very pointed message!