poem about mothers

gabbysmom04

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I found this on a cleft website and I thought I would share it. I have been feeling so low lately and this poem really made me think I am special to have a child with some special needs.

God Chooses Moms of Special Needs Children for a Purpose
Erma Bombeck


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.
This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of special needs children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of special needs children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over the Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger:

"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia."

"Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint....give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a special needs child." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a special needs child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that is not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in You."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive." "Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people see My creations." "I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone, I will be at her side every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised in midair.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
 
Thanks for posting this! I read this not long after my daughter was diagnosed (autism) and I havn't seen it in a while. It's a tear-jerker, but nice to read again - I've got 2 of 'those children' now, my son has autism, too!

Thanks,
IncredibleMom
 
Thanks for posting. I read this a long time ago and today was a perfect day to need a reminder.
 
Here's another. I've kept both of these in my nightstand for the last 7 years, ever since my daughter was diagnosed with mod-severe cerebral palsy.

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip-to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases
in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guideboods. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.......and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills......and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy.....and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever, go away....because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But.....if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things....about Holland.

by Emily Perl Kingsley
 

samkj thank you for posting that! It is such a wonderful way to explain how it feels. I had no idea about any of my sons med problems until his birth. I am still getting used to the change in plans, but like the story says Holland is not a bad place to be.
 
Thank You SO much for sharing this. My autistic son has been very challenging over the last couple of weeks, and I've been feeling low and wondering "why me?". This really helped me feel better....at least for the night.
 
samkj
That is my favorite! When my DD was about 9 months old I first read this poem. I cried and cried because I could not believe that someone had but my thoughts into words. I only share this with very special people.I have been feeling really sad the last few weeks and these peoms really helped.Thanks.
 
Thank you for posting. What a blessing! :angel:
 
Thanks for posting this. I had read it years ago, but it's nice to see it again. It's been a rough few weeks, and I really needed this right now.
 
gabbysmom04 said:
I found this on a cleft website and I thought I would share it. I have been feeling so low lately and this poem really made me think I am special to have a child with some special needs.

God Chooses Moms of Special Needs Children for a Purpose
Erma Bombeck


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.
This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of special needs children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of special needs children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over the Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger:

"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia."

"Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint....give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a special needs child." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a special needs child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that is not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in You."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive." "Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people see My creations." "I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone, I will be at her side every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised in midair.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."


Boy did I need to read this today. My kids are just about done with their cleft surgery. They are the greatest! I too have been feeling so low lately. I needed to be reminded that I am special. Certain people in my life make me feel so worthless.
 
Thank you, gabbysmom04 and samkj for sharing those poems. I never heard of the Erma Bombeck one before. I have read the Welcome to Holland one before. They are both tear-jerkers. I have 2 special needs children, actually they are twins! One has a complex congenital heart defect. The other twin is aspergers. It is very difficult to be a special needs parent, as most of us know.

Rosemarie :flower:
 
Thanks for sharing. I've seen both of them before, but it's nice to see them again.
I feel funny posting a link to my own thread, but if you liked those poems, you may like this thread.
 














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