Please! I'm asking politly for this.

[Dreaming WDW]

Sorry . can't seem to spell.

I am new to the dis as you can see. Also I seek some advice (not for me of course) but for a loved one who happens to be my brother. I can see the smiling faces grinning already. Sure you say, but if it were for me, there would be no need for a post. My dates for me and my family are May 27 -June 10. I am trying to get my brother down with us for the visit. I want to introduce the gaydays thing for his trip, and conveniently leave him in the midst of the action. He will not acknowledge he is gay around family. If he is not, God help him because he is in dire straights.

Seriously please advise. This is not my forte. If I can get him to travel with us, what is the best thing to do? I will probably work up a reason to introduce him to the action and then find my own family on the way back. Maybe he will enjoy his time while there.
PM if you want, or post advice.

Thanks,
Scott

 

[Chuck S]

Well, in truth, you can't force someone out of the closet, if your brother is gay, he will reach that plateau in his own time. There are a lot of people that others make incorrect assumptions about.

However, if you really want your brother along on your trip, by all means, invite him. But don't bring up the "issue" or "leave him in the midst", if the situation is uncomfortable for him it will ruin a nice family trip. Just be yourselves, let him see you and your family interact with other guests, chatting while in line, waiting for parades, etc. If your brother is gay, your personal actions towards others may give him the confidence and comfort to bring up the subject.

 

[Aaronbox]

I agree with Chuck. I like the idea of showing your brother how accepting you and your family are of gay people.
But, touring Disney World alone is something a person needs to choose on their own. It is a very different experience than having the quality family time your brother just might want. In larger groups it seems inevitable that someone will ask the question: Do we want to split up and meet up later at...? If he really wants to be on his own, he will bite. If he would prefer to share a trip with you all, then he is free to do so.
Before I was ready to come out, I would deny the truth to myself - let alone a sibling! You really can't speed up the process or make his life easier by pushing him out of the closet. All you can do is demonstrate in every way that you are a loving brother and you accept all people.
Vacations can be stressful times for folks, so I'd suggest that you let HIM initiate any conversations about his orientation. Remember that he is there for the fun & relaxation and is not likely to be prepared for an ambush. Clearly he is lucky to have a loving brother who will go to great lengths to try to be supportive.

 

[Boston5602]

Chuck and Aaron have the right idea. Show your brother you and your family not being hateful and badmouthing of gay people around you in Disney and He will take notice. He may not admit anything during the trip , not wanting to " ruin " a family vacation , but it may speed up the opening of that closet door!

Don't drop him off in the middle of somewhere and leave him , but you may suggest to him your family can be much at times and if he would like a little bit of alone time you would completely understand it. He may choose to head off for a little bit of " Let's see what I can find going on, HEYY ! "

A loving brother like you makes a huge difference!

 

[Viki]

Ditto to all of the collective wisdom witnessed above!

 

[OrlandoMike]

I agree with all of the above, and would only add, if he seems like he wants to talk to someone take him to Pleasure Island some night, just the two of you. Trust me, the first time you come out to someone, a little hooch helps a lot!

 

[Viki]

I agree with all of the above, and would only add, if he seems like he wants to talk to someone take him to Pleasure Island some night, just the two of you. Trust me, the first time you come out to someone, a little hooch helps a lot!

OK, Mike, I love you you know, that, but what in the heck does that mean??????????

 

[Chuck S]

Roughly translated: its easier to talk about personal issues when you've had a few

 

[CanadianGuy]

One of my co-workers has a brother who we actually know is gay. He's posted a personal on a gay dating site the works.

But he hasn't told his family and the charade/facade continues. She asked me what she should do.. I said the best thing you can do is let him know you love him no matter what.. but don't try to push/pull him out of the closet. That can be even scarier.

On the other hand my sister just called me on the phone and was very plain-like.. "Ok, you know what.. I really don't care either way.. just tell me the truth, what's going on with you.. "

That worked fine with me. But.. I was pretty much ready for it.

Knox

 

[Viki]

Roughly translated: its easier to talk about personal issues when you've had a few

Oh, thank goodness, I was operating under a very different understanding of the word "hooch."

 

[OrlandoMike]

hooch

Noun Slang.

1. alcoholic liquor.
2. liquor illicitly distilled and distributed.

 

[Viki]

hooch

Noun Slang.

1. alcoholic liquor.
2. liquor illicitly distilled and distributed.

Yes, really, I am sooooo relieved

 

[OrlandoMike]

Honestly Viki, what did you expect from me?

 

[ConcKahuna]

Yes!! You can take him to PI on the 31st for the big gay event. You can be his fruitfly, and you can revel in the drinks and half-nekkid men!!

 

[Boston5602]

Viki , Mike , and Chuck You guys have me busting one out over that hooch stuff. Thanks for making my Friday a happy one !!!!

 

[Viki]

Viki , Mike , and Chuck You guys have me busting one out over that hooch stuff. Thanks for making my Friday a happy one !!!!

Glad to oblige

 

[OrlandoMike]

Same here, and to celebrate I'm drinking hooch right out of the can tongiht!

 

[Dreaming WDW]

Aaronbox, thanks so much for your answer. I have actually planned this family vacation and the gaydays time frame since January. My sisters family will join us in our rented home late May. My brother has been invited to join us for several months now hoping he would realize the timing of the stay. Seriously, sometimes it is easier to back off. I'm hoping that he feels free to do what he feels is right for himself.

Boston: The last thing I will do is badmouth anyone. Also. Thanks! there is no way I'm dropping him off anywhere without me being there.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I hope your brother decides to join you, and I hope you all have a wonderful time!

One of my best friends from high school is a lesbian. She didn't come out to me until probably 6 years after graduation. I wondered what I could have done to get her to come out to me sooner, because it made no difference in our friendship and I thought maybe she had been worried about that. The thing is, even though I would have been fine hearing it, I think maybe she wasn't ready to say it. If your brother is gay he might not be ready to say so, even if he knows it won't change your opinion of him. I am glad he has you on his side.

Have fun at Disney!

 

[DisneyDudet]

If you think he's in trouble or something, then you can talk to him and ask him whats up. If he's alright and doing ok, I would wade it out and let him tell you when he's ready. Its hard to tell people because the fear of rejection and judgement, even to your own family. Thats even the hardest sometimes. Its rough and you have to be there for him when he needs you. He will tell you and your family the exact moment he's ready.

But hey... you know.. he may be afraid to go because he's not ready for the whole family to know it yet.

Just be open and inviting, thats all you can do.