Please help! My husband doesn't 'get' it!

[drcbpearce]

Hi!
I'm in the same boat! After hearing too many complaints about how he refuses to go to Disney & won't put up with whiney kids I just planned my trip without him! I'm going next month with my mom & 2 DS & plan to have a wonderful time! My mom is excited to go to Disney to witness the boys first magical trip & now DH is acting left out. Oh well--his loss, grandma's gain!

Wow. Well, I suppose when you get back and he sees how much fun you had, he'll be ready to go next time. My DH is still a little nervous, mainly about the 17hr drive, but after talking to my brother and some others who've been, and want to go back, I think he's beginning to get the idea. I'm really sorry your DH is going to miss out. Mine would go, whiny kids or not, b/c he wouldn't want to miss being there with them. Have a great trip!

 

[Disneychix]

My DH had never been to WDW in his adult life before meeting me. Now we've been 5 times (including our WDW wedding) and 1 time to DL.
He is much like your DH. He's a drummer in a band and thinks vacations should be relaxing and not totally planned out. He's how I deal with him:

1) Plan everyday out but leave room for the unexpected. Sometimes DH just wants to go and have a beer at the ESPN club instead of going to dinner. OK, I'll let him have his way once!
2) Plan things I know he'll enjoy. One year we went to a concert in the HOB. He really enjoyed it!
3) Let him sleep in one day. To him that seems like vacation and usually he's up and ready early anyway!
4) Feed him really well and bring extra $$ for drinks! DH loves him some food and beer/drinks!
5) I have learned DH will not get excited until we're in the airport. He doesn't enjoy planning. He doesn't enjoy packing nor will he do it any earlier than the night before. He thinks I'm nuts for planning 1 year ahead of my life. But then when I see him having fun I get over it. He does like WDW (he has to if he likes me) and it makes me all gooey inside when out of the blue he tells me a memory about being there. Even if it's "remember that gross smell in the monorail when we were trying to get to Chef Mickey's?"

 

[EverythingDisney]

My husband doesn't get it. Our last trip was in 2006, and I am sooo
ready to go back. He said maybe in a few years-NOT !! LOL
So, after I got my 40% hotel mailer, I have convinced him to let me
and our 2 daughters to go for a girls only trip !! WOOHOO!!
I hate spending the money on him (airfare,park tickets, food) when he isn't that into it.

 

[eliza61]

You may have to accept the fact that not every one is into disney. and you know what, that's totally fine. My dh is not really into it (he goes every now and then for 4 days max) and he purchased a dvc membership for us, that most of the time he doesn't really use. Me and the kids go all the time. We do other things together as a family and he does "the man thing" with our sons when they go fishing. I absolutely loathe, hate and despise fishing. Now we have a pack, I won't drag him to disney if he doesn't drag me fishing.
Variety is the spice of life.

 

[drcbpearce]

You may have to accept the fact that not every one is into disney. and you know what, that's totally fine. My dh is not really into it (he goes every now and then for 4 days max) and he purchased a dvc membership for us, that most of the time he doesn't really use. Me and the kids go all the time. We do other things together as a family and he does "the man thing" with our sons when they go fishing. I absolutely loathe, hate and despise fishing. Now we have a pack, I won't drag him to disney if he doesn't drag me fishing.
Variety is the spice of life.

Believe me, I understand about not everyone liking everything. He watches some tv shows that are just a complete waste of time in my opinion, we just agree to disagree about it. He'll have his moment once we're there. My brother made a comment about being jealous that we're going. I think that may have tipped the scales a little. Having a lot on his plate at work doesnt' help right now either. He can't think about the fun we're going to have til he gets past this crunch time. It will come, in about 7 weeks!

 

[chessie2008]

My dh didn't get it last year either (although I have to admit I have stepped the planning up quite a bit this year) but he gave me a great compliment that we would have never had such a smooth trip without my planning.

 

[eliza61]

Believe me, I understand about not everyone liking everything. He watches some tv shows that are just a complete waste of time in my opinion, we just agree to disagree about it. He'll have his moment once we're there. My brother made a comment about being jealous that we're going. I think that may have tipped the scales a little. Having a lot on his plate at work doesnt' help right now either. He can't think about the fun we're going to have til he gets past this crunch time. It will come, in about 7 weeks!

Oh definitely. Even though my Dh comes no where near me in my obsession to the "mouse". he always has a great time. Your honey will probably have a ball especially after a hetic time at work. Who knows that may work in your favor, he has such a great time and really de-stresses that he starts talking about going back every time work begins to wear him down.

I wouldn't worry, you guys will have a ball.

 

[MiniGirl]

You may have to accept the fact that not every one is into disney. and you know what, that's totally fine. My dh is not really into it (he goes every now and then for 4 days max) and he purchased a dvc membership for us, that most of the time he doesn't really use. Me and the kids go all the time. We do other things together as a family and he does "the man thing" with our sons when they go fishing. I absolutely loathe, hate and despise fishing. Now we have a pack, I won't drag him to disney if he doesn't drag me fishing.
Variety is the spice of life.

I was going to say this same thing. My girls and I love WDW. My dh doesn't/ He doesn't dislike, and he will go a couple of times a year ( a day trip or maybe for a night or 2), but it just isn't his thing. Fortunately, he understands that we love it and doesn't mind us going on our own at all. The girls love looking for new things to show their dad the next time he does come. We usually go by ourselves when he is at work and not home anyway, so we aren't missing out on any family time either.

 

[Darcy03231]

Just keep in mind that he may never "get it". My DH hates WDW. He went once and that was it. He didn't like anything about it. He encourages me and the kids to go whenever we want, he just wants no part of it. To be fair though, his ideal vacation is a kayaking/camping/fishing trip, which isn't my idea of a good time either. When we go to WDW he plans a fishing trip and every is happy. He and I both like to cruise and usually take a cruise together at least once a year.

 

[HolidayRoad]

I'm sure he will. He's a computer nerd at heart. Tell me where it is, so when he comes over to the dark side, as my brother puts it, I'll point him in the direction.

Here is the link to the Dis Dad's Club Thread!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1635716

 

[t_catt11]

You have to understand that some people aren't into Disney. Also, it's not really "cool" for guys to be nuts about a bunch of cartoon characters and the theme parks that surround them. Try to see where he is coming from.

I was happy and willing to go when my wife first suggested Disney, but I didn't "get it" then. Now, I may be more into it than she is. LOL

Try to not compulsively plan every moment. The beer thing is a fantastic idea - consider hitting that early in the trip.

Do not try to browbeat him into liking Disney. I despise being forced into anything, even if it is something I end up enjoying. I find that if I'm forced, it kills a lot of the enjoyment.

Best of luck!

 

[ChrisMouse]

Hang in there! It was the same thing with us before our trip to Disneyland last year. My husband would roll his eyes and sigh at my planning. He just DID NOT GET how I could spend so much time planning a vacation that he THOUGHT was "for the kids".

Now we are DVC members, AP holders, and have THREE WDW trips planned in the next 365 days!!***

My advice is to make the planning (and the trips!) fun, and while I can't mention HOW because this is a "family show", I make it worth his while when he helps me plan and shows his enthusiasm for vacation planning.

Good luck!!


***Wild, wacky, Disney-obsessed RESULTS NOT TYPICAL!

 

[karenklo]

My husband was the same way, but after a great trip and stay at the Poly in 2006, he is so ready for NYE in the world this year! I got him a massage at the GF spa and racing at Richard petty! Disney world is pretty much now a given for vacation!!

 

[drcbpearce]

You have to understand that some people aren't into Disney. Also, it's not really "cool" for guys to be nuts about a bunch of cartoon characters and the theme parks that surround them. Try to see where he is coming from.

I was happy and willing to go when my wife first suggested Disney, but I didn't "get it" then. Now, I may be more into it than she is. LOL

Try to not compulsively plan every moment. The beer thing is a fantastic idea - consider hitting that early in the trip.

Do not try to browbeat him into liking Disney. I despise being forced into anything, even if it is something I end up enjoying. I find that if I'm forced, it kills a lot of the enjoyment.

Best of luck!

As much of a planner as I am, I have two young children and have learned that any planning I may do will be altered in some way, shape or form by them, intentionally or not. That was the hardest part of having children, learning that I was not and could not always be in control, and to just let go and go with it. So, I'll do as much as I can with the thought that it's not all written in stone, we're there to have fun, not be one of the unhappy families you see.

I am not one to try to force anyone to like something. And with him, I know that the more I tried to force him into something, like you, he'd resent it and me. I told him it was like our wedding, just leave the planning to me and I'll let him know when and where.

Thanks for your advice! I'm glad you 'got' it. I hope he will enjoy it so much we'll get to go back sometime.

 

[drcbpearce]

Hang in there! It was the same thing with us before our trip to Disneyland last year. My husband would roll his eyes and sigh at my planning. He just DID NOT GET how I could spend so much time planning a vacation that he THOUGHT was "for the kids".

Now we are DVC members, AP holders, and have THREE WDW trips planned in the next 365 days!!***

My advice is to make the planning (and the trips!) fun, and while I can't mention HOW because this is a "family show", I make it worth his while when he helps me plan and shows his enthusiasm for vacation planning.

Good luck!!


***Wild, wacky, Disney-obsessed RESULTS NOT TYPICAL!

Ok, forgive me, I'm only just new to all things Disney, but what exactly is DVC?

 

[Aliceacc]

Disney Vacation Club.

Kind of like a time-share with mouse ears.

 

[drcbpearce]

Thanks! I'll look it up!