Please help me with my DS's terrible twos!!!

[marshallandcartersmo]

I know I know. It's the terrible twos and he'll be done with this phase in his life when he's----18. But this kid is driving me CRAZY!!!!!

How do I react when he decides that he wants his daddy to put his PJ's on after his bath............and daddy's not home. So then he screams/cries/kicks/yells for 30 minutes saying "Daddy do it" over and over and over and over............

I tried showing him daddy's car wasn't in the driveway---daddy wasn't home so daddy couldn't put his pj's on. I tried forcing them on (that kid has the strength of 10 grown men I swear), I tried letting him calm down for awhile (30 minutes later still not calm). AH!!

I eventually did get him settled down by walking him around outside for a few minutes.

Anyone have experience with this!?!?! He has done this several times before, this one was the worst though. He starts preschool tomorrow. Heaven help his teacher if he does that to her!!!

 

[Pop Daddy]

dont worry soon he will be in his terrible 3,s

 

[MAKmom]

SUPER NANNY Monday night 9:00 pm on ABC.

 

[clh2]

2 thoughts here - is it absolutely 100% necessary for your DS to have jammies on before he goes to bed? Or, the other thought is - can you challenge your DS to put his jammies on by himself?

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

I know I know. It's the terrible twos and he'll be done with this phase in his life when he's----18. But this kid is driving me CRAZY!!!!!

How do I react when he decides that he wants his daddy to put his PJ's on after his bath............and daddy's not home. So then he screams/cries/kicks/yells for 30 minutes saying "Daddy do it" over and over and over and over............

I tried showing him daddy's car wasn't in the driveway---daddy wasn't home so daddy couldn't put his pj's on. I tried forcing them on (that kid has the strength of 10 grown men I swear), I tried letting him calm down for awhile (30 minutes later still not calm). AH!!

I eventually did get him settled down by walking him around outside for a few minutes.

Anyone have experience with this!?!?! He has done this several times before, this one was the worst though. He starts preschool tomorrow. Heaven help his teacher if he does that to her!!!

First . I have been there, except with DDs. But unfortunately the first thing you need to remember is that your 2 yr. old cannot rationalize. So trying to show him that Daddy's car is gone will not work. He cannot wrap his brain around it. I tried to rationalize with my girls, but DH just kept telling me that I need to remind myself that I am the parent and what I say goes. I know what is best for the baby, not the baby. Just try to stay calm, pick your battles and try to pick what is important, the rest will work itself out. But if he begins to have a temper tantrum, remain calm, put him in a safe place and ignore it, if you react he wins. To some that may sound harsh but all the baby books said that this is what to do, when mine were little. I think it is still the same. Good Luck!!!

 

[Beth76]

Sorry I have no advice. Just to say I also have a 2-year-old so I feel your pain. They need to have a Terrible Twos Boarding School.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

Sorry I have no advice. Just to say I also have a 2-year-old so I feel your pain. They need to have a Terrible Twos Boarding School.

Weird similarity here!! My name is Beth too--and I have two boys, 5 & 2. They are total opposites. DS#1 didn't have ONE tantrum until he was 4 years old. DS#2 has been having them since he was in the womb!!

Glad to hear there are others in my same boat. Thanks for all the advice. I know I need to pick my battles, and I'm sure it's a power struggle thing for him, but it's NERVE WRACKING!!

 

[barkley]

as the result of two separate incidents wherein my very active son accidently broke my nose i have learned that life does not end if my child goes to bed in his undies or 'au nartual'. sometimes there is just no reasoning with a toddler-it's not a lack of parenting it's just that you are dealing with a toddler. pick your battles-its not worth agonizing over small issues esp if its near the end of the day and both of you are exhausted.

 

[kejoda]

Try giving him daddys shirt to wear to bed. My boys always loved wearing daddys shirts. Course getting them out of them is a different problem


I hate to point it out but when hes a teenager your going to want the terrible 2's back.

 

[adhelove]

My son is now 8 but he almost put me through a nervous breakdown during those years. It doesn't stop at two I hate to tell you but it does get easier to deal with. The tantrums weren't the worst for me but I was a nanny for 5 years before being a mommy and they aren't fun to deal with. Don't give in to his demands. He is trying to control the situation and you have to regain control. Let him throw his fit as long as he isn't endangering himself or someone else. My daughter threw one and as soon as she threw herself on the floor and her head hit the hardwood, she didn't do it any more. She survived with only her pride hurt and a knot on the back of her head. My son is the one you hear about that can empty out the fridge while you are in the bathroom for 30 seconds. Yes tea pitchers, chocolate syrup (whole bottle all over the floor & himself several times), food, kool-aid pitchers, pickles, you name it he could get it open and poured out before I could finish in the potty. We didn't have barstools until he was 4years old because he kept jumping off of them and trying to fly. He has broken both arms, one at 18 months old and the other last fall. I promise it gets easier. The best thing sometimes for the mommies is to just take a time-out from the kids. It was really hard for me to but it was best for my sanity. I would take walks with him and park visits and just play outside with him. Forget the house work for a while. I miss those days of no homework and just playing with my son. Don't feel like it is you just love him and discipline him consistantly. Whatever you use just use it the same every time and he will not get confused. I also teach PE to k-5 to 5th graders too and the key is to be fun and consistant with rules. I agree with the lady who says who cares what he sleeps in as long as he sleeps. Maybe Daddy can come home early on some nights and then go back to work. I think it is so great that he loves his daddy enough to want him to do it for him. Daddy should feel happy about that. But remember that it will pass and who cares if he slept naked when he was two in the long run any way. That is my motto with kids: if it doesn't matter in 5 or 10 years down the road then why stress over it. Good luck and love that sweet one while you can and let daddy do it too.

 

[juligrl]

Get used to it cause 3 is even more fun. I tried distracting her but that never worked, then I started walking away. She gets the point and pulls herself together.
She's as good as gold in preschool!

 

[mom_of_5]

I know I know. It's the terrible twos and he'll be done with this phase in his life when he's----18. But this kid is driving me CRAZY!!!!!

How do I react when he decides that he wants his daddy to put his PJ's on after his bath............and daddy's not home. So then he screams/cries/kicks/yells for 30 minutes saying "Daddy do it" over and over and over and over............

I tried showing him daddy's car wasn't in the driveway---daddy wasn't home so daddy couldn't put his pj's on. I tried forcing them on (that kid has the strength of 10 grown men I swear), I tried letting him calm down for awhile (30 minutes later still not calm). AH!!

I eventually did get him settled down by walking him around outside for a few minutes.

Anyone have experience with this!?!?! He has done this several times before, this one was the worst though. He starts preschool tomorrow. Heaven help his teacher if he does that to her!!!

I guess I am a hard nose when it comes to this, after 4 kids going through it now my 20 month old is as well. If it was me I would have put the pj's on and if he/she did not settle down after that,bedtime. Put in crib turn out the lights "good night". Either that or time out, yes I have started that as well, of course the screaming will continue but eventually they learn that Mommy does not do that.
I have had to be somewhat hard with my oldest having austism and behavior problems for many years, I learned not so early on from several professionals in my home to help me with his behaviors to not put up with it at all period, no, nada. It takes a lot of hard work and persistance and of course patience but it works, you will eventually have a child who understands the behavior rules of the house.
Many of the principals I use I have seen on Super Nanny, I could have saved alot of money just by watching that show first.
Good luck, I know it is difficult but children actually thrive living with rules and they know what is expected of them. Start early, it will be easier.

 

[redshoes]

My youngest is in the middle of the terrible twos and my oldest is four, so I understand your pain-
Here is what I would suggest with the PJ thing, it might be time to start teaching him to dress himself. At two they are just starting to be independent. Give him a job to do when getting dressed. Something like you put your arms in and Mom will put your feet in- praise him for any effort. The best advice I got about dealing with the twos was take a deep breath, pick the battles that are important and never backdown. If you're going to battle with them, make sure you win each and everytime- if its not fighting over dont do it.

 

[poohandwendy]

I guess I am a hard nose when it comes to this, after 4 kids going through it now my 20 month old is as well. If it was me I would have put the pj's on and if he/she did not settle down after that,bedtime. Put in crib turn out the lights "good night". Either that or time out, yes I have started that as well, of course the screaming will continue but eventually they learn that Mommy does not do that.
I have had to be somewhat hard with my oldest having austism and behavior problems for many years, I learned not so early on from several professionals in my home to help me with his behaviors to not put up with it at all period, no, nada. It takes a lot of hard work and persistance and of course patience but it works, you will eventually have a child who understands the behavior rules of the house.
Many of the principals I use I have seen on Super Nanny, I could have saved alot of money just by watching that show first.
Good luck, I know it is difficult but children actually thrive living with rules and they know what is expected of them. Start early, it will be easier.

I am totally with you there. IMO, there is nothing good that comes from trying to appease or rationalize with a very small child. The reason they are challenging is because they are starting to learn the way the world works and their affect on the world. They are constantly asking in a non verbal way...what will your reaction be this time? What is acceptable?

I get my way this time? Ever notice a two year old sticking their hand in a cookie jar...very quietly, looking your way to see your reaction? This is the same thing. You are the guide. Show them what is acceptable, try to remain calm and be consistent.

I agree with putting the PJs on and time for bed or time out.

 

[swea_pea1]

I think you've gotten some great advice, but I'll throw my two cents out there.

I was a big fan of choices....you can x or you can y. We had one memorable dinner where my DD was throwing a fit because she wanted Hi-C to drink. I offered her water or milk - and continued to offer it every time she said "I want Hi-C!". What will it be, water or milk? Over and over again. We ate our entire dinner and she never touched hers because she was having the tantrum. Eventually, she knew I wasn't giving in and she got hungry enough so she picked milk.

My advice would be to tell him he could either put his PJ's on or go to bed in the buff. Those are the choices. It gives him a little of the control he craves without giving in to the tantrum.

I also used to put my face through the head-hole in the jammies to lighten the mood a bit

Good luck. This too shall pass!

 

[sugarpie]

My advice would be that anytime he starts throwing a fit disengage. Walk away & take yourself out of the situation. You're not going to win a fight with a 2 year old about pajamas & you don't need to. He'll see that all the screaming & crying isn't getting him his way & eventually he'll calm down. It works for me.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

My one year old throws tantrums already. Like, I am getting him milk, but he doesn't understand he has to wait a minute so I can pour it. He throws himself on the ground and starts fussing. I just hold it until he gets up. LOL! My 5 year old did this twice at a much older age and then never again. These two kids have personalities like night and day.

Anyway, I agree with the advice given. Try to distract before it gets escalated. Make a game of putting on the PJs. Let him choose between PJs. Maybe advance warning also. Like, after lotion Mommy is going to put on the PJs you picked! Otherwise, I would ignore his tantrums. He will figure it out.

Good luck!

 

[RNMOM]

Oh those wonderful days.

I wouldn't mind those challenges again sometimes compared to the teen years but...what I found most helpful was humor. When challenged I would say, "really? Only Daddy? Hmm...what am I going to do about this?" Then ask him for suggestions, etc or make up some really silly ideas (careful not to give impossible to live with ideas) and let him help you choose.

It really isn't about the PJ's like everyone says. I know the end of the day is the hardest so often and if you are alone to deal with them when you are both tired it can be impossible. Mommy time outs are really useful and when I discovered them it saved my life, honestly. I made my boy's rooms so babyproof they were like Ft. Knox and put double baby gates as there was a flight of stairs just outside his room. If I had to, he went in there and I went into my room. Even 5 min. can make a homocidal mom calm down. That and Paxil made my life much better. LOL. Just kidding but not about the paxil.

If there is an older sibling, you could ask him/her to be a daddy's helper and assist putting on pj's or to lend him a pair of their's for "special" circumstances. I would do all this in front of the little bugger in hopes it would help distract him. I agree with letting him sleep in daddy's shirt. Just tie the bottom into a big loose knot off to one side so he won't fall.

These days will seem prescious to you eventually. My boys are 19 and 21 and they still live at home. We have good times laughing about all the funny things they did when they were little and looking at old photos.