Please help me if you can!

[badblackpug]

Oh my oldest was like this. No "diagnosis" just cried when things didn't go as she wanted. We used a "time out" type of thing. When she started crying we sent her into a time out in our hallway bathroom. (no windows, no fun) We very calmly said "you need to go take some time to get yourself together, you can come out when you can calmly discuss this." We would then send her into the bathroom and shut the door. We very calmly sent her back in every time the crying started. After a while she realized that crying didn't get her her way or any attention. The good news is she is now 13, and it's not a problem any more.

 

[cheap traveler]

My niece, who is 3 months younger than my DD, has asperger's, but my DD does not. I have believed for a few years that she had oppositional-defiance disorder, and she certainly has trouble with change and anxiety. This poor kid just can't catch a break.

Thank you everyone for the kind words and advice. I was actually going to try to leave work early one day this week so we could have some time alone to talk, but the last time I picked her up early from her babysitter she cried for 20 minutes
So I think I will save our talk until Saturday morning. A little bit of info I left out of my OP: a small amount of her symptoms started when her father and I split, but the majority happened after she was in a car accident with her grandparents. Their vehicle rolled onto its side, and it was 1.5 hours before I reached her at the hospital - she was very scared, and had trouble sleeping for 18 months after that. Also, she seems to be much worse after her father misses picking them up on his weekend. I REALLY wish there was something I could do about this, but what can be done to a non-custodial parent who regularly refuses to pick up his kids??

Again, thank you everyone! Keep up the great ideas.

 

[LilyWDW]

The big thing is this... you need to try to get to the bottom of it. If it is something more then her just using crying to get what she wants, then normal punishments will not work. In fact, it will most likely make it even worse because she's not crying on purpose and she will just worry about it.

I'm not saying there has to be more to it, but it's something you want to look into. The sooner you know, the sooner you can do something about it. That way, if it is something more, you can start working with her on coping techniques.

 

[tiggger1]

No words of wisdom, just wanted to say that you're not alone! My DD7 is the same. DH and I sometimes refer to her as Jekyll and Hyde. You never know which personality is going to come out. She can be the sweetest, most loving, helpful, easygoing, child one minute, then the next she is crying over the smallest things. And you have no idea what set it off. Figured it was just a girl thing, since my 2 boys are very easygoing, not much bothers them. I keep hearing from my parents how i'm in for it when the tween/teen years hit...

Same here.. I honestly think it is hormones because she is like so sensitive sometimes.. last night she cried for an hour because I was giving away a baby toy "wasnt even hers, and that she had touched in like 5 years" She also cried because the pajamas she wanted to wear were too smalll ( these were the ones she hated to wear when they did fit because they itched...)I also think she is just tired from the end of the school year stuff....


SHE IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

It sounds like she's got some baseline issues with anxiety and perhaps they are now being fueled by the onset of the hormones of puberty.

I'd probably start with a discussion about it with the pediatrician and take it from there.