please help guilt ridden nut job!

[crs7568]

I need some sane advice from people who are completely detatched from my situation. Please listen to my situation and tell me what you think...

My husband has been really excited to go to Mexico for Christmas this year. We just returned from a 10 day trip to Disney this week and we have annual passes for the rest of the year. My husband likes but does not love Disney. He is looking forward to getting away and relaxing on the beach. The man works harder than anyone I know.

Here comes the guilt...my mother was recently diagnosed with scleroderma and has been very depressed. For those of you who don't know, scleroderma is the "statue disease" where your skin hardens and quite frequently your internal organs also harden which leads to death. I really feel like a trip to Disney at Christmas would be a great distraction for her. I think that I would just feel rotten to leave her at Christmas.

One scenario I have come up with is taking my mother to Disney with us and getting two rooms. It would mean a much less relaxing vacation for my husband...who I must say is quite happy to do whatever I want. The other scenario is to go to Mexico immediately after Christmas but I am afraid that I will still feel a little guilty about my mother. She is financially unable to do anything nice for herself. She works two jobs just to get by. I hate the feeling of letting anyone down even though neither my husband nor my mother have done anything to make me feel this way. In fact, my mother does not even know that we are considering taking her with us.

Please give me any words of wisdom that you have to offer! It always amazes me that people take such an interest in other people's lives on this board.

Thanks again!
Caryn

 

[Rajah]

How about a compromise?

Instead of going to Mexico, take a long (week? 10 days?) trip to Florida. The first part, spend at Disneyworld taking your mom around. Then for the last few days, move to one of the beaches or maybe Vero Beach if you can get there and have a relaxing end to the vacation. Or, if you can afford it, spring for a Land and Sea Disney Cruise package -- a few days at WDW, a few days on the Disney Cruise Line.

Personally, I'd spend all the time with my mom that I could.

 

[aahmom1]

Couldn't you take your Mom to Mexico with you?

 

[DoeWDW]

I think Rajah's idea is brilliant. You can have a relaxing beach vacation in Florida. Maybe your mom would prefer just relaxing at the beach also? If Disney is an option, then by all means add some days with the Mouse if it will make your mom smile.

Maybe you can ask her what type of vacation she'd prefer? If she's not feeling well then a trip to Disney can be exhausting while a trip to lay on the beach may sound heavenly to her. She may want to do Disney to see the smiles on your faces and make those kinds of special memories.

Your husband sounds like a great guy. If I told my husband that I'd like to change our plans to spend time with an ailing parent, he would be so supportive of that. Talk to him and see how he feels. This should be a decision made by the two of you and don't forget to look for areas to compromise.

Best wishes!

 

[CEDmom]

I agree with the others here that you should talk to your mom and DH. I hope your mom isn't too limited or in too much pain but I consider being somewhere near to good hospital just in case. Sanibal/Captiva are great do nothing beach spots only a few hours from Disney. If your DH really loves Mexico you could stay at CSR for a few days before/after the beach. Maybe all the holiday decorations at the different resorts would cheer your mom up.