Please give your opinion about this shower situation.

[Merandab4]

How early is too early to have a wedding shower?

Although I am not getting married till Sept, My MOH wants to have my shower in May. ( I thought this was a little early). But I guess things are too busy til then.

 

[Doctor Tigger]

I got married on Sept 29 last year and my MIL and mom threw me a shower in July, they did that because of the same situation that you are in.........our weeks were so booked up with wedding stuff and making last minute plans and trying to ship all of our stuff down. I say the sooner the better, trust me you don't want to have to worry about the shower to close to your wedding, that's a whole nother set of worries!!!
We did this great shower favor and I thought I would pass it on, we had those little plastic cinderella slippers that you can get at Hobby Lobby or Michael's we wrapped them in a tulle circle put mints in them then tied them with a navy blue ribbon...........they were a hit, everyone loved them but be careful if your shower is in the summer time as mints can melt!! We lost a few on the way to the shower as they were in the sun

HTH

 

[Dopeygirl]

We had a January wedding and an August shower. The months leading up to our wedding made planning a bit crazy (September--school started--I was doing my student teaching, one of the hostesses was a teacher as were many of our guests, October--my mom got remarried, November--my cousin got married and Thanksgiving came early that year, cutting into possibe weekends, December--need I say more? then we got married Jan. 8). It really worked out fine and, at least from what I could tell & heard, guests weren't put off by it being that early (my fear).

 

[muffetjane]

My fiance and I are getting married at disney with a small group of family and friends that live near FL. We are grappling with the SAME issue! We have chosen to have a reception back home also, and are not sure about shower arrangements either. We have not sent out invitations to the reception back here yet, but are sending out shower invites soon.

 

[prncess674]

First of all showers should never be given by the Mother of the Bride or Groom. It is just plain tacky. It is generally hosted by your bridesmaids or other close friends at a mutually agreed upon date. You may give your opinion on dates and guests but ultimately it is up to the HOST to make the final arrangements. As the guest of honor you generally don't make your own favors and such.

You seem very concerned about getting presents at your shower. You also seem afraid that your present count may diminish if your shower guests find out they won't be invited to the wedding. If you don't plan on inviting a shower guest to either the actual wedding or a reception (whether in Disney or later back home) then you should NOT invite them to the shower. Please get an etiquette book by Emily Post.

 

[Merandab4]

I (like many other Disney brides) wasn't sure if it was proper etiquette to even have a wedding shower since I am having a destination wedding, but my best friend insists that she will be hosting one for me. (which I find to be quite nice on her part)

So no this shower will not be hosted by our mothers or anyone in our families, (although I am assuming they will be attending).

Also, I will not be invlolved in any other aspect of the planning and preparation. I only know abouts what month it may be and thats all. Afterall, it should be held when I am actually able to attend it. As far as who will be invited, well the people invited to the shower will also be invited to the post wedding reception at home as well. My friends would never invite someone to a shower whom we are not inviting to our post wedding reception. (I agree that is tacky)

I am sorry that you feel that I am just worried about the gifts. I assure you that is not the case. I (as well as my friends) are just trying to make my destination wedding feel just as special as the big traditional weddings they all had....even if it mean hosting a wedding shower for me.

 

[Fantasia Sam]

I for one Meranda did not make any such assumption from your original post that you were concerned about gifts. You were quite right to ask such a question on here about what us other Disney Brides are doing for showers as a check. Please do not feel that you have to justify your actions and your plans.

Your shower plans sound great and I can imagine how hard it is to plan a shower when you're having a destination wedding. But from what I have read as long as you are having a wedding, wherever it may be, it is proper etiquette to have a shower, whatever. So I'm glad that your friend insisted you had one.

I wanted to experience a US Bridal Shower and so my girlfriends are hosting one for me in Walt Disney World just a couple of days before the wedding. All I know is it starts at 1.00pm and it will be held somewhere in WDW - I'm very excited but also a little nervous - having never been to a shower before I have no idea what to expect LOL.

As you know Meranda I'm the last one to comment on etiquette following my invitation faux-pas according to American Etiquette - but I do believe that one shouldn't put too much stock in etiquette as long as you are moral, sensible and true to yourself and your guests then you should be able to do what the heck you like where YOUR wedding is concerned. After all it is YOUR wedding and you can do what YOU want - it's YOUR day.

OK vent over - now listen to who's justifying their actions.

Anyway Meranda we're all enjoying reading about your wedding so keep it up - don't spare us any details.

 

[DrKnow77]

Amen, Fantasia Sam...

 

[Doctor Tigger]

Originally posted by prncess674
First of all showers should never be given by the Mother of the Bride or Groom. It is just plain tacky.

Thank you, prncess674, for the profound lesson on wedding shower etiquette. Unfortunately, not everyone lives in the perfect "wedding etiquette" world, where everything is perfect and people have the perfectly setup wedding shower, wedding and reception. We live in a much more fast paced world, which creates interesting dilemmas for brides and grooms these days. I imagine most etiquette books were written back in the early 1900s, when no one would ever think about getting married at a "theme park", no bride would wear a white dress if they weren't "pure" and everyone would tremble if everything was not exactly perfect. We live in different times. If etiquette is important to the bride and groom, then it should be important to the festivities that take place. We tried to use good wedding etiquette judgment when possible, but if it interferred with the level of happiness that we would experience during OUR celebration, then it wasn't important to us. Perhaps there are other people just like my husband and me.

When did these boards become a forum to attack other people that are looking for sound, friendly advice? I, personally, think it is more "tacky" to shun someone's ideas.

Merandab4, have the shower whenever you heart desires. This will be one of the biggest celebrations of your life. Don't let uptight posters ruin your special plans.

 

[jennycee]

Fantasia Sam, DrTigger...AMEN is right!

I too agree that you can't always be on the side of etiquette, and I can't frankly say that I haven't heard of the Mother of the Bride being involved in some fashion with the shower, afterall, she is the MOM! And yes, when did this become an attack on ones choices instead of an offering of advice.

Meranda, as you know my wedding is the same day as yours and I happen to know...how naughty of me...that my shower is coming up soon. Not sure of the exact date, or where it will be, but I know it is on it's way. Same thing, there is so much going on in the next 5 months, IN ALL OF OUR LIVES, that they had to plan around me and consult with me. That is the age we live in. You do what you feel is right and you will be happy.

I designed the centerpieces and invitations for my shower...oh my, shoot me now!