Please give me your thoughts or ideas!

[DaniB]

Due to health issues, our kid free trip is not happening. We either cancel or bring the kids. So far we modified our plans to bring the kids, though we have not purchased airfare for them. Because as much as we want to surprise them, we are not sure if we should even go now.

We are about to make major changes in our DD12's life. She just cannot continue in the normal/mainstream school system. She comes across as perfectly normal to people who aren't in our lives long, but she has so many difficulties. She has speech & language issues; clothing sensativity; only reads up to grade 2 so far; cannot spell past SK or Grade 1 level; immature; does not pick up social cues & body language; and gets upset at new situations or anything slightly scary (ie, dentist, eye doctor, needles). Her reading, spelling & education I believed had to do with her memory processing issues. She has a hard time storing/accessing her memory. Some days she can read a book perfectly, other days stumbles over the words. Poor kid wants so much to read chapter books (ie, Junie B. Jones, My Secret Unicorn) and I have to read them to her instead.

She cannot keep up at Grade level. She's finishing Grade 5 now but every subject is modified to Grade 2/3 level. So, the school has been talking to us about their Life & Learning Skills program and we are going there to see it this Friday. I *know* DD will flip when she finds out as the only 2 children she knows (who go to this program) are much lower-functioning than she is. I was told there are 2 classes. One for low-functioning and one for high-functioning. She is high-functioning and clever, but I do wonder about the other children. How can I help not? She needs to be in a class with children who have similiar abilities, not even less. Apparently as these children enter High School, they even have different co-op placement programs so they are not forced to compete with the mainstream kids. And access to more? different? jobs/careers. I just hope I like what we see & hear on Friday... And I sure wish the school started this process a lot earlier. I would prefer multiple visits to the class before making up my mind. And with my mom's health issues, I have not even mentioned this to her yet! She's suppose to be completely stress free right now. How the heck would this subject be stress free?

How this applies to our trip, is I'm not sure whether we could (or should) pull her out shortly after school starts. Honestly, education-wise I cannot see how it matters. But I wonder if I'll get arguements because she's being transferred into a special education class? To me, however, the life skills being learned from the trip are all the more important considering she is not going to have a mainstream education. At the same time, as I write this I start to think we should just cancel period.

Ohh, and she has had 2 pysch tests - with 2 completely different results. Don't even get me started on that! When it's due again, we're going to pay privately for it. 'Course that raises a whole new set of questions. Where to go? What should they be testing for? Etc, etc...

I just don't know what to do about this. Any ideas or thoughts? Does anyone have children in the L&LS program? Can you give me any information about it?

 

[LSmith]

I'm sorry you are going through this. The first thing you need to do is get your daughter tested privately. Don't wait. You need to know what is going on - now.

While I don't have any children in the kind of program that your daughter is in I do know of an excellent psychologist who tested our son for gifted. We did this privately which is the best way to go. The school testing is not thorough at all. Honestly, after 4 hours of testing I swear she knew our son better than we did (which I never, ever would have believed beforehand).

The psychologist we used came highly recommended and she also tests for learning disabilities as well, probably even more so. I personally know two children she tested and the parents absolutely loved her. She used to be the head psychologist for the Toronto District School Board and now practices privately in the Beaches area.

If you are in Toronto or can get here without too much problem, you should call her. PM me for her information.

 

[sjsjbrook]

I had a friend who's child had similar issues. She sent her to a private christian school in grade 5, she had been at a Montesori school which wanted her to learn life skills. Before she went there she was told she would never read or write above a grade 2 level.

She now can read and write.

She went to this school until grade 8 (by the end of grade 8 she realized she was different and in this cruel world, she noticed the kids were not all nice to her.) In grade 9 she started a life skills program and loves it as she is with other children like her. She is 17 now. I love to see how much she has grown since she was 5. Things she can do.

The transition may or may not be difficult for her. But knowing there is a trip to Disney in the fall may actually help. Plus she will learn so much more there. Epcot is so much about around the world, innoventions is all fun science, WDW is about history and stories.

So do something she will remember as a happy time, education you can control.

Love and pixie dust to help you with your journey. The school system is not kind, so I send you some extra strength to work through this.

 

[Gigi22]

OP, my best friend is a retired Special Ed. teacher for elementary school. Please, if you do have your DD privately tested/assessed, share the results with your DD's school! Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time my friend had to validate private testing results that had not been shared in a timely fashion...it is just a huge waste of time if you have information that you keep secret from the school.

 

[dancin Disney style]

Dealing with any child is difficult at times. Sounds like you have your work cut out for you...best wishes to you and your family.

I'm thinking that if taking this trip will lighten your load a little, even just for a few days, you should do it. Taking those breaks make it a lot easier to manage the day to day things. You can certainly make it a very educational experience for your child. As a PP said Epcot if full of things to learn. Aside from that I'm very much in favour of travel as an educational tool.

 

[mbb]

Just sending your way...

Pop over to the DisAbilites Community Board as well...lots of great information, not all Canadian, but definitely practical and folks that have been there.

 

[Terapin]

I don't have any advice but wanted to come by with some empathy. My son transitioned into a special ed classroom in the Durham region this year: we had a much harder time with it than he did. We were worried about what it meant to his future, if he would be further ostracised (sp?) etc. In fact, he has transitioned beautifully, and is so much more comfortable. He is the highest functioning kid in his class and he is enjoying the new feeling of being a class leader. The bullying has stopped. The stomach aches have stopped. He is rebuilding trust in the school environment. He is able to take each subject at his speed: some of it is slowed right down and several grade levels 'behind', and in some he is at the top of his grade-appropriate class with the other kids. It has worked out well. While I wish he could have gotten the support he needed in a regular classroom, it wasn't happening and we were at risk of him being lost and depressed at school permanently.

Oh, and we take the kids out of school for vacations, hikes, mental health days, whatever is in their best interest. They end up missing so little, really, and wow, what a way to learn history/geography/language/etc!

 

[DaniB]

To everyone who replied, I'm sorry I have not gotten back to you quickly. And thank you for your well wishes. I think I have been shying away, which is ridiculous I know but true. I think I have been using our trip as a way of avoidance to an extent as well. I've been quite focused on getting ADRs for 4.

The past two weeks have not been fun to say the least. We visited the L&LS class last week... I'm to meet with my DD & her teacher today to talk about changing schools... bring my DD to visit the LS class tomorrow... and my mom continues to have health issues and was back in the hospital over her heart. Ohh, and my mom totally flipped when I told her about possibly putting DD into a LS class...

The first thing you need to do is get your daughter tested privately. Don't wait. You need to know what is going on - now.

While I don't have any children in the kind of program that your daughter is in I do know of an excellent psychologist who tested our son for gifted.

If you are in Toronto or can get here without too much problem, you should call her. PM me for her information.

Thank you. I have PM'd you! I phoned both the Children's Hospital in Toronto and Ottawa, sure they would have a department that does in-depth testing for learning disabilities and a psych test (whether covered or private) - and surprisingly they don't!

I had a friend who's child had similar issues. She sent her to a private christian school in grade 5, she had been at a Montesori school which wanted her to learn life skills. Before she went there she was told she would never read or write above a grade 2 level.

She now can read and write.

She went to this school until grade 8 (by the end of grade 8 she realized she was different and in this cruel world, she noticed the kids were not all nice to her.) In grade 9 she started a life skills program and loves it as she is with other children like her. She is 17 now. I love to see how much she has grown since she was 5. Things she can do.

Learning to read is the most important thing I feel! If she can just learn to read. And honestly, the school is NOT helping/teaching her to read. I keep trying to find a place to help because I do believe she can learn. Any chance the private christian school is around durham/clarington area?

OP, my best friend is a retired Special Ed. teacher for elementary school. Please, if you do have your DD privately tested/assessed, share the results with your DD's school! Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time my friend had to validate private testing results that had not been shared in a timely fashion...it is just a huge waste of time if you have information that you keep secret from the school.

No worries there! Actually, it was through the school board that she had her last 2 assesments. I don't trust them to do a 3rd as the first two are completely opposite results. They will be getting the information shortly after I do.

Dealing with any child is difficult at times. Sounds like you have your work cut out for you...best wishes to you and your family.

I'm thinking that if taking this trip will lighten your load a little, even just for a few days, you should do it. Taking those breaks make it a lot easier to manage the day to day things. You can certainly make it a very educational experience for your child. As a PP said Epcot if full of things to learn. Aside from that I'm very much in favour of travel as an educational tool.

Thanks! I really want this trip the more that goes on. But I'm starting to wonder if we'll have to cancel. I hope not. Ohh, our kids don't even know they may come to Disney. At the moment, they still think we're going away by ourselves. Mainly because we don't know if we'll end up cancelling.

Just sending your way...

Pop over to the DisAbilites Community Board as well...lots of great information, not all Canadian, but definitely practical and folks that have been there.

That's a good idea, thank you. I hadn't though of them because the board is mostly US but I could pick up very helping information regardless.

I don't have any advice but wanted to come by with some empathy. My son transitioned into a special ed classroom in the Durham region this year: we had a much harder time with it than he did. We were worried about what it meant to his future, if he would be further ostracised (sp?) etc. In fact, he has transitioned beautifully, and is so much more comfortable. He is the highest functioning kid in his class and he is enjoying the new feeling of being a class leader. The bullying has stopped. The stomach aches have stopped. He is rebuilding trust in the school environment. He is able to take each subject at his speed: some of it is slowed right down and several grade levels 'behind', and in some he is at the top of his grade-appropriate class with the other kids. It has worked out well. While I wish he could have gotten the support he needed in a regular classroom, it wasn't happening and we were at risk of him being lost and depressed at school permanently.

Oh, and we take the kids out of school for vacations, hikes, mental health days, whatever is in their best interest. They end up missing so little, really, and wow, what a way to learn history/geography/language/etc!

Terapin, you have no idea how glad I was to read your post! I'm so glad it worked out for your son! My husband is having an easier time with this than I am, which I'm totally shocked at. I thought it would be the reverse. Her school has pointed out that DD would go from being the lowest in to the class to one of the highest, and that is true.

I really need to stop, eat something and have a quick shower as I'm to meet with my daughter & her teacher in 1 1/2 hours. I hope you don't mind my PM'ing you.

 

[3pletprincesses]

I'm sorry to hear about your problems. It's never easy to hear something like that about our children. I hope everyhting works in your favor and your child takes the news better then you think. I'm sure she will like it better if it means that she understands better and can keep up with her program. Maybe a Disney trip will lighten the news and make her happy. The firs few weeks of school is often about revision therefor she might not miss alot.

What about getting you child enroll during your trip in one of those programs with Disney Youth Education Series where they spend a few hours learning about something and you can even go with her. In august, my girls will be doing something about how thing moves. They have lots of programs between age 8-18 which means that they explain it well enough that a 8 yo will understand yet in detail enough to not get the older ones bored. Your child would be with kids of her age and older and yet learn at her speed. It always gives you something to tell school that she did that is educationnal. The other thing is the passport around the world at Epcot where kids can learn alot of several countries. Just a few ideas in case school has something to say against the trip.

 

[encinc]

Another place to look for in depth psychological assessments is universities. Many universities (I know of Waterloo, Windsor, and Guelph off the top of my head) have PhD programs in clinical psychology. There are clinics associated with those universities that offer psychological assessments to the community. Their assessments are often much more in depth and detailed than you get elsewhere. They often work very closely with teachers and school staff to make sure that the results are well-understood and implemented in the classroom.

 

[boundfordisney]

Sorry for all your stresses, perhaps Mc Master hospital in Hamilton would have something as it is a childrens hospital plus the university on site as well. Seems like a good place to try!I have a handicapped son who has downs syndrome he is now an adult but when he was a baby there was not much info given to me and he lost years of developement because of this,I would get private testing then perhaps check out community living as they have alot of info as far as therapists and so much more. Im sure there would be a community living office somewhere near where you live they were alot of help to me, good luck ! Go on the trip and have FUN!

 

[sjsjbrook]

Sorry to say that the school is 1 1/2 away from durham

I hope at least you are enjoying the summer. If I hear of any good programs in your region I will let you know.

 

[GrtWtNorth]

Good luck to you and your family.

It sounds like you need a break from the rest of the world -- a WDW vacation may be ideal. I'm not going to suggest that taking your daughter out of school shortly after she starts a new program is a perfect solution, but if it reduces your collective stress levels, it may help her improve her memory and reading skills.

I have a cousin who struggles with reading, not to the same degree, but to the point where the school was struggling to find the special resources to improve her reading skills. Her reading skills were so low that it was holding her back in most other subjects. The special education classes available at her school were not ideal -- too many other kids with behavioural and social issues, the teacher couldn't focus on the accademic studies as much as everyone wanted. My aunt eventually decided that she needed more one-on-one attention and her only option was home-schooling. My aunt taught her from grades 7-9 (?), with lots of curriculum help from Alberta Education and specialists from the local school board. (I think she also took her to school for phys ed and other non-core courses.) It was a struggle, but it worked in the end. She managed high school, graduating along either with her original class or a year behind (I can't remember). She also completed a two-year college program. She's now married, with a beautiful daughter, and the best garden in the county.