please excuse my son...

[DaisyD]

Yikes. Since when does asking an opinion give anyone the license to rip someone to shreds?

I think the Op wrote a nice letter. I think it was courteous, respectful and considerate of the fact that her child's grades are in this persons hands.

I didn't rip anyone to shreds! I simply stated that the rest of the letter sounded like a bunch of bull. I think those that ask for opinions should accept even those that they don't agree with. Like it or not.

 

[Tiffer]

Well, umm, technically, you lied about it, so it wasn't really "legal"... Nice lesson you taught your kids there, though!

Some schools do not let you make up the work if the absence is unexcused. It was rather generous of your school system to allow the work to be made up.

First of all...who said my kid even knew? What right do you have to make such a statement? A bit judgmental...ya think?

Don't comment on the lessons or lack there of I have taught my child. She is a high performing student in a competitive school district. Her test scores are amongst the highest in the State.

She also is involved in many sports, an all-star in one, a girl scout & volunteers. So don't you worry one bit about the lessons my child learns.

Further, the REASON that CA schools have such strict attendance rules, is about money, not about my child.

Yes, silly me, I do teach my child to not blindly follow rules, I do teach her the look at the reasons behind them as well. If something is wrong, I would encourage her to challenge the wrong in an educated and intelligent way.

I don't appreciate your personal attack, nor do I feel it was warranted. As we are from all over on these boards, everyone's school district is different. A lot on here have posted they allow vacations. Mine doesn't. Call me crazy, but I still think I know what's best for my child

Please try to know what you’re talking about before you make offensive comments.

 

[Schmeck]

So, your kid didn't know you lied? What did she say when she got back to school and the teachers asked her if she felt better?

About not 'blindly following the rules' - accept the consequences of not following rules, and I'd accept that statement as well. But to lie so as to avoid the consequences, that's not something I'd teach my daughter, who scored the second highest in the state on her math MCAS, scored the highest of anyone, ever, on her math team tryout, was a girl scout for 5 years, and is on a team that is nationally competitive as well.

 

[glass slipper girl]

If you are afraid that they might not release him how about writing up a letter in 'Word' making multiple copies with different dates to cover the entire period. Then either send 1 in each day or give the batch to your child's teacher & let her/him in on the situation (or do both)? It seems like too important an issue to lose out on a technicality especially since I'd assume it wouldn't be one of the parents picking him up with you being in labor and his father presumably having his hand squished. When a non-parent shows up the administrators might get a little less understanding.

They seem to be OK with the releasing him part, it was that the admin person (read: school secretary...the place would fall apart without her but she doesn't have the authority to decide what situations are excused and unexcused absences) said if we picked him up before his lunch time (11:20) or if he was not checked back in by 10 am, that it would could as an absence and would probably be unexcused. The actual checking him out thing was fine though as long as the person sent to get him was listed on the form saying who was approved to pick him up, that they had propper ID and that he recognized them when they arrived to get him. They said that there are always circumstances outside of the norm for emergencies etc. The example she gave was a death/serious illness/injury in the family. They aren't going to tell you that you can't check your child out without prior notice if Grandpa had a stroke at lunch, kwim? Same with this, they understand that I can't plan my labor so they are OK with that part.

DH and I have said if things happen at a time where he has to be counted as absent, we'll take our chances. Knowing the principal, she'd approve attending the birth of his brother as excused. If she doesn't, Oh well. We will only be using 3 of our 5 unexcused absences before they make us meet with the social worker and we have no other trips or anything planned so if he missed a day and they wouldn't budge on excused/unexcused we are still on the safe side of the line they've drawn in the sand.

 

[MyZoeJane]

Holy sheep! You'd think the school system was some kind of dictatorship! I understand that the government plays a role in attendence issues to prevent slacker parents from going to the trouble to enroll their kids in school, but why make it so difficult for a parent to make the executive decision to take their kids out of the classroom for ONE WEEK?


I was taught to write lesson plans for my classroom and I think EVERY teacher should be made to do it... that way, if a child misses a class, it becomes simple for them to provide the parents with a copy of the lesson plan for the day so they could take responsiblity for making sure the child is caught up. Simple!


My daughter is only two, but as her mother I'd be pretty ticked if someone questioned my ability to make an informed decision about when/why she misses school!

 

[Tiffer]

So, your kid didn't know you lied? What did she say when she got back to school and the teachers asked her if she felt better?

About not 'blindly following the rules' - accept the consequences of not following rules, and I'd accept that statement as well. But to lie so as to avoid the consequences, that's not something I'd teach my daughter, who scored the second highest in the state on her math MCAS, scored the highest of anyone, ever, on her math team tryout, was a girl scout for 5 years, and is on a team that is nationally competitive as well.

No. She didn't know. Her teacher never asked. BTW, if she did know, I would explain to her why and wouldn't think it a bad thing. Like I said the rule is motivated by $, not her well being.

FYI--not interested in what you would accept or not accept. Who put you in charge of judging other people?

I'm glad your child has had such great successes in life. You needn't be defensive about your child as I wasn't the one passing judgment on you.

So what you're saying is you think you are the gold standard of parents? Or just that you've never broken a rule?

Or maybe perched from up there on your high horse judging others gives you such a distored view that you can't see how obnoxious your statements and pronouncements are?

Again, don't you worry your self w/ the lessons I've taught my child. She's doing just fine. Keep your unsolicited and uncalled for personal attacks to yourself.

 

[Off2DisIGo]

That about sums it all up. I have never met an adult who told me their life was ruined by taking a few days off from school when they were young. While I do not condone 20 missed days, I do feel there should be a cap on the amount of days - nationally, not state wise. My response to any of this you know what would be, "I will expect both the teachers and the administrators to never take a sick day unless they were truly sick. If you do take a day for staff development, I as the tax payer and the parent expect a full report on how you will implement what you have learned in an essay or chart format. I expect it to be done within three days of your return otherwise I may have to report you to the superintendent and state you're not doing your job to the upmost satisfaction." By the way, I am a teacher.

Good point. My aunt teaches second grade and uses personal leave each year for various reasons--including a favorite craft fair she attends every year. And she darn well should be able to! But our kids are "truants" if we take them out of school for a family vacation.

 

[Schmeck]

No. She didn't know. Her teacher never asked. BTW, if she did know, I would explain to her why and wouldn't think it a bad thing. Like I said the rule is motivated by $, not her well being.

FYI--not interested in what you would accept or not accept. Who put you in charge of judging other people?

I'm glad your child has had such great successes in life. You needn't be defensive about your child as I wasn't the one passing judgment on you.

So what you're saying is you think you are the gold standard of parents? Or just that you've never broken a rule?

Or maybe perched from up there on your high horse judging others gives you such a distored view that you can't see how obnoxious your statements and pronouncements are?

Again, don't you worry your self w/ the lessons I've taught my child. She's doing just fine. Keep your unsolicited and uncalled for personal attacks to yourself.

When you post on a forum, expect comments - some you like, some you don't.

The reason I posted my child's achievements is because you posted your child's. It was a comparison, and I found it interesting that our children were both high achievers and very successful.

I find your attack on my character rather humorous. I've always thought that those types of attacks were just a vent for people who are feeling not so good about themselves, or about something they've done...

Yes, I'm extemely honest. I don't trick people, I return the change if a cashier gives me too much, I wait my turn, I don't take sick days when I'm not sick, I don't cheat on my taxes, on boardgames, or anywhere else.

 

[shadonjenon]

to the op, I like the note and may use it as a guide for my own if that is ok. DD is in K and we are taking her out for 8 days. Now, I don't think it is a big deal and when we made plans, she was going to go to the private K at her daycare. Now she is at the Catholic school. I am concerned about them giving me a hard time but K isn't even required in PA. What concerns me is that they have off the entire T-Giving week and we are leaving the Thurs after! so she will be out a week, back 3 days and out for 8 (T, F, M-F, M)

I would like to request any work ahead of time so she can work on it over the T-giving break, what do you think?

Right now for homework, at most she has is 1 page (front and back) a day from a workbook. I could even see us taking it with us if it was just the page a day. I can't imagine it would be alot, her pre-K homework was alot more!

No problem

 

[snowwite]

I wrote a similar (but shorter) letter a couple of weeks ago as both of my girls have had to endure quite a bit medically the past year-my DH can't take time off (self-employed) during the regular school vacations and we just really needed some quality family time. Our school district is VERY strict about unexcused absences (10 or more is an automatic repeat of that grade level!) Thankfully both her teacher and principal were very understanding and I'm making it a point to get doctor's notes for all the times I have to pull my 1st grader out for MD specialist appointments so that hopefully they'll be considered excused (even though she doesn't miss a full day on those days).... Good luck to you and hope you have a magical trip!

I am wondering if MA is stricter than other places about absenteeism. My DD had to go before the attendance board when she was in the hospital last yr because the school does not accept any "excused" absence any longer. So basically kids are guilty until proven innocent. Her friend was out bereavement and also had to appearbefore the board. The OP note is fine. I wich that we could do that but DS teacher already told me she reports any parent wanting to take vacation outside the scheduled periods for truancy.I checked with police and if found truant I could be arrested. I guess we will stick with school vacation week. It does not seem reasonable and as OP pointed out there are a lot of educational opportunities. I actually think the kids learn a lot but because they dont realize they are learning they have fun!

 

[susancl]

I am wondering if MA is stricter than other places about absenteeism. My DD had to go before the attendance board when she was in the hospital last yr because the school does not accept any "excused" absence any longer. So basically kids are guilty until proven innocent. Her friend was out bereavement and also had to appearbefore the board. The OP note is fine. I wich that we could do that but DS teacher already told me she reports any parent wanting to take vacation outside the scheduled periods for truancy.I checked with police and if found truant I could be arrested. I guess we will stick with school vacation week. It does not seem reasonable and as OP pointed out there are a lot of educational opportunities. I actually think the kids learn a lot but because they dont realize they are learning they have fun!

Wow! I'm pulling my kids out for 4 days in February and I get the impression from the teachers and parents that it's very common in our town. One of our teachers did say she would send work with us and our children would need to keep a journal and take pictures to share.

I also have a cousin who is a school counselor in a metrowest town and she said they have one parent who pulls her kids out for 3 months to spend it with family abroad.

It must be your school district that has a strict policy. Family vacations can be so educational. I would never have thought a teacher would consider it truancy.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Just an observation:

As I read all these posts about what scare tactics are used by the different States to keep our kids in school I can't help but wonder if this is all working. I mean, do these rules really keep truants in school, are there fewer dropouts, are our countries test scores really going up because kids in MA are never ever allowed to miss a day?

Also, how may kids are really lead down the wrong path via a family trip to WDW once a year? I'd like to see that statistics on that.

Maybe I'm wrong but it seems to me that the parents who care about these rules and will jump through hoops for the administrators probably aren't the ones in danger of raising truants.

 

[NotUrsula]

Honestly folks, if you have proof that you notified the school of the absence in advance (certified letter with a receipt, etc.), then no truancy court is going to take a report seriously. They have their hands full with real truants whose parents either cannot control them or who couldn't give a flying flip where they spend their days.

My feeling about the whole issue of funding formulas is summed up in a single statement: "I will be happy to reimburse the school for any lost funding that results from X's absence."

 

[maxtomsmom]

Just an observation:

As I read all these posts about what scare tactics are used by the different States to keep our kids in school I can't help but wonder if this is all working. I mean, do these rules really keep truants in school, are there fewer dropouts, are our countries test scores really going up because kids in MA are never ever allowed to miss a day?

Also, how may kids are really lead down the wrong path via a family trip to WDW once a year? I'd like to see that statistics on that.

Maybe I'm wrong but it seems to me that the parents who care about these rules and will jump through hoops for the administrators probably aren't the ones in danger of raising truants.

Very true! I think if anything, it makes the kids want to please their parents more because they have a closer bond. Kids who spend time together with their parents are less likely to get into trouble. Our kids are with us for just a short time, then they grow and hopefully live their own lives that typically does not mean living with their mom. I love my boys and would never put our time second to school. School is very important and I want them to do well, but I've known kids to lose a parent, which makes me want to spend as much quality time with them as I can. That is part of our job as parents.

 

[maxtomsmom]

Good point. My aunt teaches second grade and uses personal leave each year for various reasons--including a favorite craft fair she attends every year. And she darn well should be able to! But our kids are "truants" if we take them out of school for a family vacation.

Good for your Aunt. What kind of role models would we be if we didn't show children that hobbies and interests make us unique and well-rounded.

 

[Pirates4me]

I too think that your letter was well written. We have taken our daughter out of school for a week for the last three years. I made the mistake of asking permission the first year and we were told that by missing a week of school it would jeopardize our shilds education. I didn't buy it. She learns so much more during that week then she ever would sitting in a classroom. I wonder what the teacher reaction would be if they had to ask the parents permission everytime they took time off.

 

[Del]

I agree with Disneyteacher.

Del

 

[penguin087]

Without getting into the debate....

I feel your letter, while well written is giving way too much information. In reality the school has already decided whether or not the absence will be excused. It doesn't really matter what excuse you give. I would write something like "My son will be absent from 9/25-9/30 to travel with family. Please provide any necessary assignments for this time period. Johnny will have these assignments prepared upon his return to school on 10/2."

I won't pull my son out of school now that he is in middle school but I still think it is absolutely ridiculous to beg for permission for parents that do choose to keep their children out of school.
Make sure your child knows there may be consequences such as assignments that he will not be allowed to make up etc. and have a nice trip.

 

[connie1042]

We took our kids many years back. It was a Starlight Foundation Trip. Our daughter was pretty ill. I got some nasty feedback at conference time about how it could hurt my sons to be out for a week. They were 9 13, and 15 at the time. I told them it would hurt us more if something happened to their sister, and we never got to look back on the memories of doing something so special as Disneyworld. To make a long story short. Our daughter after 12 years, finally got better, and we lost our middle son to a car accident at 16. So I say do what ever, but don't let anyone tell you what to do. It is all about the money. The schools do not get there $s if the kids are not there. Our school will have early outs, that way the teachers get their time off, and the school gets there money. I am not sure the time, but I think it is after 1 in the afternoon they can be let out.

 

[connie1042]

My daughter is now 28 and is a teacher, my oldest son is getting his masters in business and doing very well in his job. I guess the trip really didn't hurt anything. They are both married and have children that I know will be missing a little school when they get older for their trip to WDW.