Playdates

[OceanAnnie]

What do you think in general about playdates?

Poll coming...

 

[SaraJayne]

For babies and toddlers? Pointless and a waste of time. Thank god it isn't the "in" thing to do around here.

 

[GinnyEmma]

What age. The only purpose for playmates for little ones is so that moms can build relationships.

 

[OceanAnnie]

8-10 years old.

ETA- I was really wondering about people's thoughts in general, any age.

 

[mjaclyn]

I put 'other' because I don't love them but I do think they're necessary. Kids need to have friends and it's a good way for them to spend time together and also be supervised.

 

[bdcp]

My boys both had them growing up and usually it meant either they were dropped off at a friends house or the other way around once they were older. As toddlers and preschoolers it gave them playtime away from each other. What exactly is the problem?

The reason for playdates is for kids to play, not for mom to necessarily make friends, although that can be a benefit. I don't get the attitudes here about it.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Are you just asking if friends that age should get a chance to hang together? I do believe that relationships are important at that age.

Eta: I think moms of little ones can benefit from time with others in the same place. Not so much of a necessity for the later years.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Just a general question about how people feel. I've heard a range of opinions IRL during conversations (from great to dreading). I was wondering what others thought.

 

[KristaTX]

As someone with no kids, when do "playdates" cease to exist and just become "doing stuff with friends"? I do stuff with my friends, and I'm 40. Are we having playdates? If so, I love them .

 

[JVL1018]

My 9 year old refuses to call them playdates,. he wants to call them hanging out instead. LOL
Playdates:
For my 11 year old daughter I like them just fine. Her friends go and sit in her room and talk and listen to music and are pretty quiet other than giggling.

For my 9 year old son I hate them-he and his friends are loud and make a mess. I like his friends who like to play outside the best.

That said, my kids can have friends over whenever they want and I pretend that I'm not counting down the minutes til they leave..

 

[Momvic5]

My 9 year old refuses to call them playdates,. he wants to call them hanging out instead. LOL
Playdates:
For my 11 year old daughter I like them just fine. Her friends go and sit in her room and talk and listen to music and are pretty quiet other than giggling.

For my 9 year old son I hate them-he and his friends are loud and make a mess. I like his friends who like to play outside the best.

That said, my kids can have friends over whenever they want and I pretend that I'm not counting down the minutes til they leave..

I could have written this exact post - only had a ds14 to the mix. Like my ds9, my ds14 and his friends "hang out". It is not a playdate. They lift weights, go fishing, have nerf/airsoft wars, or eat everything in sight. My dd11 doesn't care what you call her time with her friends. They ride ripsticks and skate, or they go in her room and listen to music while they draw or write stories - so easy compared to the boys! We have friends over almost everyday.

 

[dogluva]

I can't stand the term "playdate". I have six kids, when my oldest three (22, 18 1nd 16) were little, they went outside, played with the other kids in the school yard across the street (like I used to as a kid) and that was the play date.

I had three more, four years later after my third, and all of a sudden you had to plan for your kids to play. That was fine but the parent had to come along. I really didn't like having to entertain an adult while the kids played. WTH?

I cringe when my seven year old daughter's friends parents' (in the neighborhood) say that we have to get them together for a "playdate". Why can't they walk across the street, ring the doorbell and ask if she can come out? She is old enough to play in the yard with other kids. I don't need to have an adult plan it for her.

Weird.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I can't stand the term "playdate". I have six kids, when my oldest three (22, 18 1nd 16) were little, they went outside, played with the other kids in the school yard across the street (like I used to as a kid) and that was the play date.

I had three more, four years later after my third, and all of a sudden you had to plan for your kids to play. That was fine but the parent had to come along. I really didn't like having to entertain an adult while the kids played. WTH?

I cringe when my seven year old daughter's friends parents' (in the neighborhood) say that we have to get them together for a "playdate". Why can't they walk across the street, ring the doorbell and ask if she can come out? She is old enough to play in the yard with other kids. I don't need to have an adult plan it for her.

Weird.

Yes, sadly those were the good old days.

Additionally, sometimes the "playdates" can take on a life of their own. Like miracle grow has been added or something.

 

[disneybound2010]

Where we live, there aren't any children his age. He's stuck playing with me and DH or by himself a lot of the times so it is nice to get him out for a playdate, but to be honest, he seems pretty happy to play on his own as well. I know he enjoys the friends and the company, but he seems equally as happy to come home and play on his own. I was(and still am) that way. I enjoy company sometimes, but I do have that "loner" attitude at times. I always have....and I grew up with a ton of people around me and lots of us neighborhood kids getting together(before there were playdates!)

 

[PollyannaMom]

...Why can't they walk across the street, ring the doorbell and ask if she can come out? She is old enough to play in the yard with other kids. I don't need to have an adult plan it for her...

We're lucky enough to have that where we live, but I realize it was just luck, and not true for everyone, so I'm fine with "playdates" too (though DS would not call them that).

Sometimes, I actually think the convenience of kids nearby makes us both lazy. He doesn't spend as much time with friends from school because that takes planning, and neighbors are available without planning.

I did like "mommy playdates" when he was little, because when I became a SAHM, it helped me make friends who were close by and living on the same schedule as me. But there's definitely a point where the parents socializing at the same time as the kids is not needed.

 

[disneyjunkie]

My son is 19. We never did playdates. When he wanted to play with his friends, he did the samething I did as a kid. He went outside and found some kids on the block/in the complex to play with.

 

[Tinijocaro]

I personally think it's ridiculous to call it a play date beyond the toddler years. What ever happened to "coming over to play"? I know, it's just another word but it sounds so formal. Sounds like it must last at least two full hours or it's not an official date.

 

[GinnyEmma]

My son is 19. We never did playdates. When he wanted to play with his friends, he did the samething I did as a kid. He went outside and found some kids on the block/in the complex to play with.

That works when you live in a neighborhood. I grew up in one of thise neighborhoods. My kids were a different story. We lived in the country. We had to pick up and drop off. No biggie. We never called it a playdate.

 

[mjkacmom]

With my oldest, I actually liked playdates in preschool, where you would sometimes stay, because at the time, I really need to meet other moms. Ironically, once #3 got to preschool, I didn't like playdates, because I already had a large circle of mommy friends, and didn't want to waste 2 hours chatting. Dd8 and ds8 still call them playdates, but the others just get together with friends . Unfortunately, the only kids in walking distance for my 2 youngest have overprotective parents (great friends of ours - just different parenting styles), and I don't let my kids just go over to ring their doorbell, because they won't let their kids play outside unsupervervised (and I'm not supervising).

I'm lazy about letting the little ones have friends over, because they play SO well together! For me, having a friend over was for my benefit. I also learned, with the older kids, that some children need a lot of parental attention (no Suzy, I don't want to see yet another picture you made).

Now, playgroups I miss! An excuse to hang out with other moms, drinking coffee, while my cleaning is not getting done? One of my former playgroup moms is trying to impliment a kid-free lunch playgroup - same as what we used to do, but without kids, because they're in school. We are starting next week!

 

[minniebeth]

I voted "indifferent" because in my younger days, I used to love, love them and now I guess I'm getting older because I find them to be a lot of effort.

My DD8 is my youngest, and we are just now transitioning from "playdates" to "coming over to play". Same thing obviously!

While I love for my DD to have friends to play with (not many in the neighborhood her same age, and gender), it really is a lot of effort to schedule, and do. I always seem to be the one inviting, scheduling, picking up and driving home, providing snacks and meals, fun things for them to do ie crafts, etc.
Rarely is it reciprocated...I know the kids love to play with my DD, it's just the other moms don't exactly take the time in their busy schedules (we're all busy) to do so.