Playdate "protocol"

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by MOMTOMOOTOO
I see some of you think I'm weird

I absolutely love having kids here and having 3 of my own there is at least one child here every day. Like alot of you, I prefer them to play here, but its hard to explain to a 7 yo, who wants to go play at "Janies" house this time that she wasn't invited. I mean as much as my oldest loves having friends over, she sometimes prefers to be the one going over.

Are you friendly with the mother? If so, couldn't you just say to her something like "my DD loves having "Janie" over and they play so well together but sometimes it gets a little crazy here when all the kids have friends over so do you think the girls could play at your house next time?"

It could be the mother never thought about it because you're so accomodating or there may be another reason.

BTW, I don't think you're weird but the fact that your DD is asking to go to her friend's house sounds like it is really the issue.

 

[Gupsmom]

I don't really keep track. The only time it occurs to me, as you brought up, is if my child's asking to go over to the friend's house and I have to keep explaining that he/she can't call and invite themself over.

As far as being used as a sitter, I can't really complain about that if I called and invited the child over. It's not like the mom is calling Me and saying can I ditch my kid on you for a few hours. Of course, there are times my backyard seems to be the home for wandering children. We have a few neighborhood kids that routinely end up playing in our yard. As long as everyone gets along, that's fine with me. It keeps my kids busy (having fun) and I have a little more control over what everyone is doing. I do keep 3 rules: 1) Outside unless invited inside by me or DH (bathroom trips are ok). 2) It's not my job to feed the masses (unless I offer...and water is always ok). 3) I don't watch other people's children in our pool (fully fenced seperate from our yard). Swimming is by invitation and unless I say (and this is only for a few kids) the child needs a parent with them.

Jess

 

[Tea Please]

Oh, I remeber those days, used to drive me batty. My son had a "best" friend in 2nd grade that just about lived here, and he was never invited over He too wanted to go to the other kids house somtimes. But the kicker was, they had a kive in au pair who was getting paid while I watched her charge.

 

[kasar]

Boy, I've been there. I am always willing to open my home to the kids' friends but there comes a time when you really feel like you're being taken advantage of by the other parents. It's a fine line and I'm never sure when I start to feel this way but it has happened. Some kids are sweet as pie and I love having them over (it's actually easier for me if everyone's entertained with friends), they can come over anytime. Others, and I do believe these are the kids that hardly ever reciprocate, I really feel used by the parents.

We used to have a neighbor that would send her little 3 y.o. DD over our house and not come and get her until dinner was cooked, the paper was read and she and her DH had a glass of wine. Meanwhile, we were ordering pizza for the gazillionth time because who has time to cook? LOL!

 

[4greatboys]

It happens with old kids as well. My oldest had a friend who we used to invite to visit and/or sleep over all the time but the boys parents never invited my ds for the same at their house. While I do like the boys friends to stay over here its still nice for your child to receive an invitation as well. And I certainly do think there are parents that take advantage of the free "babysitting".

 

[Hillbeans]

Originally posted by kasar

We used to have a neighbor that would send her little 3 y.o. DD over our house and not come and get her until dinner was cooked, the paper was read and she and her DH had a glass of wine. LOL!

LOL - the nerve! BTW, can I send my son over while I eat my bon-bons and watch TV?? Thanks!

 

[RitaZ.]

I work so I don't have this but I would think if you are a SAHM and never get some time alone and all the kids are at our house that might increase your stress.

Bingo! I'm a SAHM and this has happened to me.

I think some parents assume that if you are a SAHM, then it shouldn't be a problem for their kids to come and hang out at your house whenever they feel like it. I don't appreciate it when other parents try to take advantage of me. I have had to put my foot down a few times when this has happened. The "funny" thing is that everyone thinks you're great until you say "No".

 

[tassie42]

I know exactly what you are talking about! We always have kids over her and the parents don't recipricate . This one woman even invites her younger daughter over too! (the older daughter plays with my dd8) I finally put a stop to it because the younger daughter was not getting along with them, and she also is kind of pushy she'll come downstairs when its about time for their mother to pick them up (around dinner time) and say "WE are hungry!! can we have something to eat!" When they have already had a snack. I know she is little 2 or 3 years younger than my dd but its annoying!


So you are not alone and I DO keep track!!

 

[tiggerlover]

Originally posted by MOMTOMOOTOO
I see some of you think I'm weird

its hard to explain to a 7 yo, who wants to go play at "Janies" house this time that she wasn't invited. I

I don't think you are weird at all and I can totally relate to the above, been there, done that. I keep track so to speak and to answer your original question, my limit is usually two or three times visits before we don't invite again.