I'm desperately searching for the middle ground.
Unlike some people here, this is my first trip in 18 years, and the first ever for my kids. (In fact, aside from my son's trip to the US from Korea at age 7 months, it's their first plane ride.) We don't anticipate getting back anytime soon.
So I DO want them to experience the magic that's particular to Disney-- those things that they won't be able to experience next summer when our vacation returns to our beloved Lake George.
That said, the BEST piece of advice I've gotten came from Tour Guide Mike. He said, in essence, that no one ride or meal or parade or attraction should have the power to make or break your vacation. Keep your eye on the big picture: this is a vacation, and it should be a fun family time. Be willing to sacrafice whatever is necessary to keep it fun for all involved.
So I'm pulling together touring plans, with the intention of using them as a ballpark guide. After a year of planning, I don't want to walk into the Magic Kingdom and say "OK, what do we do now???" But if the plans fall by the wayside because we're having too much fun, that's great!