Pity party--run away now...

[minkydog]

Nobody's dying, nobody lost their job. Just me having a little difficulty with DS's birthday. Christian turned 13 today. It's not even that he's the baby. It's more about the fact that this is yet another milestone in his life that sets him apart.

Christian is becoming a young adult. His body is changing. But his mind is not. Inside his mind, Christian will always be 12 months old. Oh, he laughs and plays and loves his life. We include him in everything. He is just happy to be with his family, such a pleasant child. But he'll never really be an adult, no matter how tall he gets or how big his shoes are.

<sigh> Last night I dreamed I gave him up for adoption to a relative that doesn't know what to do with him. Just dropped him off and walked away. I've felt mildly sad all day.

 

[safetymom]

Post away. It really does help to "talk" about it. I haven't walked in your shoes but I understand being a mother. Just remember it was a dream.

Sending you cyber hugs. You sound like a great Mom.

 

[agnes!]

Post away. It really does help to "talk" about it. I haven't walked in your shoes but I understand being a mother. Just remember it was a dream.

Sending you cyber hugs. You sound like a great Mom.

I second that nomination.

agnes!

 

[terri01p]

Your post made me cry, I feel every bit what you feel. My dd turned 25 and I cryed for the life she has missed out on.

I often dream of me dying and no one else to take care of her the way I can or love her.

Your not alone !

 

[frdeb1999]

Your deffinately not alone. I am going through the same things on my end. Oldest is graduating in 3 wks, 2nd graduates next year and my baby just became a teenager!! You sound like a wonderful mom! Hugs to you!

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Hugs Minky.. you are a good Mom and it was only a dream.. you are there Mothering Christian every day..

 

[Mskanga]

Minky , I have gone through hell with my daughter in the last few months , you know that but I can't imagine having to watch my child the way you have to watch yours grow ....you are a wonderful mom !!!!

 

[minkydog]

Thanks, ya'll. Things are better today. We had his cake and ice cream, and Granny came up to see us. How could we stay sad when Christian is running around the backyard showing Granny his swing? He was soooo happy when he saw his cake! He signed "eat" and "more" over and over.

Tonight DH is going to stay home with Christian while my mother & I go see DD15 in her spring musical. We'll probably take DD out for a late supper afterward--just three girls taking on IHOP.

 

[MMcCarthy]

I work at a facility that has day care for people with developmental disabilities. Each person and their families are unique in how they cope with the disabilities. I hope you have a way to get some needed respite every now and then. Get out with your daughter as much as you can. Eventhough Christian may not be able to progress far with deveopmental aspects, he brings so much to your family. Your DD will have experiences that people can't imagine. As hard as it is, your family is blessed by having Christian. No one can every imagine what you go through each day but to me you are a hero. Every child needs a mother such as you. God Bless.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I wish you all the strength in the world

 

[LittleBlue22]

My heart goes out to you. I'm so glad you had a nice birthday celebration. Hang on to what is good with all your might. We too have a cousin who will never grow up, but you know, he is the sweetest and happy young man.

 

[aurora23]

Anyone who is a caregiver has those moments of wanting to escape their lives for a moment or vent about their situation. It is completely normal, at least I hope so since I do it too. You sound like a good Mom, who loves their child. Thank you for the honesty. While I love my fiancee who has a serious chronic illness, I too have my moments of wishing things were different, and dreams about what might have been. It is nice to not be alone in those occasional thoughts.

 

[LolaCola]

Your post about Christian signing really touched me.

My daughter is 10 years old and profoundly autistic. Recently though, she had one of "everything is seeming to click" times, and she's suddenly using signs like crazy, sometimes even as a joke (like asking for "help" at bedtime or signing toilet just to see if i can find her one in any public place... )


I also thought of a shirt I saw recently in cafepress. It looked like a warning sign, with letters in red at the top and black lettering underneath; Autism Just because I can't speak, it doesn't mean I have nothing to say".

Happy Birthday, Christian.