Pity party for me..

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I am having a pity party and wanted some company.

I got a call from ex today telling me that him and his new girl friend are expecting a baby.

Ex and I have been divorced for five years. I do not regret it - as it was a very good thing.

It led to dd and I moving to SoCal where we have great family, friends, and so on.

What gets me is that last year I had to have a hysterectomy due to cancer (my second kind). I do not regret this as well since it saved my life.

But... I am feeling such grief over not being able to have another kid and jealousy that my horrible awful ex gets to.

It just doesn't seem fair that this man who made life so awful for me for so long now has a great new life to lead.

He wanted me to move dd and I back to where he is so dd could have a relationship with him and the baby. I told him - no way. I would not stop any sort of relationship from developing but I would not be rearranging my life to make his easier.

Plus, the very most bitter part of me expects the child support I recieve to stop. He has been on and off with it for years.

Ok - I don't like being so bitter or feeling this way.

I am very blessed to have dd at all. She is such a joy. I am blessed to live in SoCal.

I just feel right now.

 

[Rora]

 

[Disney Doll]

The evil part of me wants to tell you that karma will eventually bite him on the butt because it always does. Sometimes it doesn't happen as quickly as we would like it, and sometimes we aren't even there to see it, but I assure you, eventually he will be in a situation where he will be thinking "What did I do to deserve this?" and your face will appear and he will know.

The good part of me wants to applaud your positive attitude in looking at the blessings you have...living in SoCal near family and friends, your wonderful DD, and your courgeous battles against illness that would have felled a lesser person.

So I'm going to go with the good part of me and say "Bravo"!

 

[Ember]

Well, I'm wiling to very judgmental at this point and say that your ex-husband is a poopie head. Yep. That's right. And has bad breath. Also, his girlfriend is bad in bed. So there.

It's okay, OP. It's normal to look at that situation and think it's unfair, because it is. There's nothing to be done about it, and you're going to get over it, but it does suck. Indulge in your pity party and then decide to move on. Because the only thing worse then feeling bad about this whole situation, is that he's happy while you're not.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

The evil part of me wants to tell you that karma will eventually bite him on the butt because it always does. Sometimes it doesn't happen as quickly as we would like it, and sometimes we aren't even there to see it, but I assure you, eventually he will be in a situation where he will be thinking "What did I do to deserve this?" and your face will appear and he will know.

The good part of me wants to applaud your positive attitude in looking at the blessings you have...living in SoCal near family and friends, your wonderful DD, and your courgeous battles against illness that would have felled a lesser person.

So I'm going to go with the good part of me and say "Bravo"!

The good part of me is losing out to the evil part of me right now.

I want that bad karma to kick him in the *** right now - in public where all his friends and family can see it. But... I won't do anything to make that happen even though I want to because thats not whats right for dd.

Sigh... Somedays I hate being a grown up.

Well, I'm wiling to very judgmental at this point and say that your ex-husband is a poopie head. Yep. That's right. And has bad breath. Also, his girlfriend is bad in bed. So there.

It's okay, OP. It's normal to look at that situation and think it's unfair, because it is. There's nothing to be done about it, and you're going to get over it, but it does suck. Indulge in your pity party and then decide to move on. Because the only thing worse then feeling bad about this whole situation, is that he's happy while you're not.

I like you! You called my ex a poopie head. That's grounds for instant bonding.

 

[Ember]

I like you! You called my ex a poopie head. That's grounds for instant bonding.

I just calls 'em like I sees 'em!

 

[minkydog]

I haven't walked in your shoes, but I can feel your hurt. I just wanted you to know that I hear you and I care.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I haven't walked in your shoes, but I can feel your hurt. I just wanted you to know that I hear you and I care.

Thank you!

It is easier to rant about this here on the Dis because all of my "real life" friends would think I am not over him. I am but this still hurts.

 

[sunnyday123]

I've been divorced for 6 years. My ex recently had a baby with his crazy ex-girlfriend. On my best friends birthday, no less-totally inconsiderate of them. DD is my only child, and probably will be, I had a very traumatic birth with her, it took my 9 months to get pregnant, and hey, I'm 40 with no prospects.

I thought the same thing. According to him, life was going to be sunshine and puppies for them, wasn't it wonderful DD would have a brother, she could be part of a family now. The baby has colic, they fight all the time, he's laid off and she doesn't want to work. Doesn't sound fun to me at all. ( I really do feel bad for the baby though)

My point is, things are never as good as they seem, and ex's ALWAYS paint a rosy picture when they aren't over things to try and make you feel bad. You have the best part of this equation-DD.

And I can smell his poopie head self and bad breath waaaay over here. I heard she's going bald and has a permanent case of b.o. Oh, and you're child support will continue-there's this thing called "arrears" my ex has recently become familar with. They tend to take it out of your tax refund you were really excited about getting back this year.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I've been divorced for 6 years. My ex recently had a baby with his crazy ex-girlfriend. On my best friends birthday, no less-totally inconsiderate of them. DD is my only child, and probably will be, I had a very traumatic birth with her, it took my 9 months to get pregnant, and hey, I'm 40 with no prospects.

I thought the same thing. According to him, life was going to be sunshine and puppies for them, wasn't it wonderful DD would have a brother, she could be part of a family now. The baby has colic, they fight all the time, he's laid off and she doesn't want to work. Doesn't sound fun to me at all. ( I really do feel bad for the baby though)

My point is, things are never as good as they seem, and ex's ALWAYS paint a rosy picture when they aren't over things to try and make you feel bad. You have the best part of this equation-DD.

And I can smell his poopie head self and bad breath waaaay over here. I heard she's going bald and has a permanent case of b.o. Oh, and you're child support will continue-there's this thing called "arrears" my ex has recently become familar with. They tend to take it out of your tax refund you were really excited about getting back this year.

Oooh I like you too!

I do have the best part of the equation. DD is an awesome wonderfully well adjusted 8 year old who tries to sass but hasn't got the guts for it (yet).

I do so love the word "arrears" - I do believe that his tax refund will be coming my way as he is several years back due. I am sure his girl friend will love that.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, I'm wiling to very judgmental at this point and say that your ex-husband is a poopie head.

I'm going to "call: your poopie head and raise you a "big fat"...making her ex-H a big fat poopie head.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I'm going to "call: your poopie head and raise you a "big fat"...making her ex-H a big fat poopie head.

Oh... I like you too!!

 

[Mrsduck101]

Well, I'm wiling to very judgmental at this point and say that your ex-husband is a poopie head. Yep. That's right. And has bad breath. Also, his girlfriend is bad in bed. So there.

Having an ex of the 'poopie head' variety myself, this brought a smile to my face

OP, when I found out my ex had and his girlfriend were having twin girls I felt like I was punched in the stomach. We had been having fertility problems before he cheated on me with her

Being a grown up does suck sometimes...

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Having an ex of the 'poopie head' variety myself, this brought a smile to my face

OP, when I found out my ex had and his girlfriend were having twin girls I felt like I was punched in the stomach. We had been having fertility problems before he cheated on me with her

Being a grown up does suck sometimes...

Yah it really does.

 

[tonilea]

A great big hug to you. I don't have a poopy head ex, but I do know what it is like to mourn the loss of future children. Hang in there!

 

[quasar4legs]

Sending you a big Koala cuddle from 'down under'.

Sometimes I wish life was fair.

Best wishes to you and your precious daughter............sending you both some pixie dust

 

[sunnyday123]

I just wanted to share this. In 2nd grade, DD's class did a book for Mother's Day, and why we are all the greatest Mom's. She wrote this:

My Mom is special because she lets me play any sport I want every year and she let me have my special pets XX my dog, XX my cat, and my new nine month old kitten XX! She is special because she does nice things for me. She is special becasue she does fun things with me. She is special because she loves me. ( This is the one to pay attention to!) She is also very special because she is My Mom and I don't have to share her!

I immediately burst into tears when she got to that line. I spent the early part of my divorce feeling very badly about her not having siblings. Now I don't worry. Just think about all of the things you can do with her because you only have her, and how close you two are. And you know exactly who you'll be living with when you get old-no one to fight over who "gets" you!

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I just wanted to share this. In 2nd grade, DD's class did a book for Mother's Day, and why we are all the greatest Mom's. She wrote this:

My Mom is special because she lets me play any sport I want every year and she let me have my special pets XX my dog, XX my cat, and my new nine month old kitten XX! She is special because she does nice things for me. She is special becasue she does fun things with me. She is special because she loves me. ( This is the one to pay attention to!) She is also very special because she is My Mom and I don't have to share her!

I immediately burst into tears when she got to that line. I spent the early part of my divorce feeling very badly about her not having siblings. Now I don't worry. Just think about all of the things you can do with her because you only have her, and how close you two are. And you know exactly who you'll be living with when you get old-no one to fight over who "gets" you!

You are so very right! Last year my dd had to write about her hero. She refused to do the project at home and told her teacher she needed to do it at school. It was so sweet becasue she listed me as hero and wanted it to be a surprise.

My head knows how incrediably lucky I am. After all I made the decision to have the hysterecotmy so that I could continue to be her mom. But my heart... it's just taking a while to catch up. It will. I know it will but it just sucks going through this until it does.