Picky Kids

[disneymom3]

No catering here! My kids are required to at least try one bite of everything. If they don't like it, they are not required to eat it. As a result, I have 2 easy-going kids who will eat almost anything! Maybe I'm just lucky....or maybe I'm just mean! We had the same rule in my house when I was growing up and I love everything...well, mostly! My DS does not like mushrooms, so if I am making a dish that has mushrooms in it, I will put some aside before I add the mushrooms...but that is the only accommodation. And this really only applies to one-pan meals, like stroganoff or spaghetti. Most of the time he just picks them out.

They are both very adventurous eaters! Yay!

Consider yourself lucky! No offense--I am sure you are an awesome mom too. I'm just saying we have the same rule in our house and I have kids who have gone through picky stages--in DDs case--and are frustratingly picky in youngest DSs case. Then you have the middle one who will eat anything and tell you what a good cook you are and prefers water to drink over any other beverage. Reading this thread has me wondering about DS5. He does gag on certain cooked vegies if we make him try a bite. I don't make it an issue, or I do put raw carrots or salad on his plate instead but DH has not yet learned. DS just can't do it.

 

[meandtheguys2]

He does gag on certain cooked veggies if we make him try a bite. I don't make it an issue, or I do put raw carrots or salad on his plate instead but DH has not yet learned. DS just can't do it.

When I worked in daycare while in college they would make carrots cooked in syrup. They still make me gag to this day. We had to eat whatever was served, also! Raw veggis and salad are usually better for you anyway!

 

[mjkacmom]

Pick your battles...

I have 4 kids, have raised them all the same, and some are picky and some aren't at all. My oldest, my only DD was somewhat picky when she was little, but outgrew a lot of it. My oldest son was never picky, but his younger brother is extremely picky. Sure I could battle him about food until my face turned blue, but he's an excellent student, doesn't get into trouble, is in lots of sports, and an all around good kid (is now 13yo), so why battle it? We do talk a lot about nutrition and he is improving, but he's still not good. My youngest has likes and dislikes, but in general isn't too bad (controlling about when he wants something, so a different issue, but loves a variety of food and wants to be eat healthy and try new foods, so in general ok).

I'm not a short order cook, however. We allow the kids to make a sandwich if they don't like what we're having. I'm not going to battle them, but I'm also not cooking a special meal.

I'm in the same boat. #1 will eat almost everything (except white bread and cheese), #2 was picky since I opened that first jar of food, and is just now, at 8, being more adventurous (cheeseburger, lasagna, tacos - LOL), #3 eats about 6 foods total, and will wait until we're done to have her default yogurt, my twins vary, with ds eating anything you put in front of him, and dd being more picky.

I remember when I just had my first - I assumed she was such a good eater because I exposed her early to lots of different foods. I was in for a rude awakening with #2, and #3 even worse! Children are born with certain tastebuds, and I will not fight over food (kids are fat enough these days without giving food more power). I don't make special meals, but if you want buttered noodles and an apple, or a yogurt, be my guest.

After having 5 kids, I'm still amazed at how less judgemental I am after each child. Love it!

 

[mjkacmom]

I used to think that if the child was a picky eater it was the parents fault--until I had my second child.

My first child tries anything and eats a wide variety of foods.

Same parenting technique with #2--not the same!

He is 6 and will only eat chicken, bagels, bread, cereals, yogurt, snacky kinds of foods--pretzels, chips, goldfish and some fruits.

Won't eat any pastas, chesses, eggs, vegetables, any meats other than chicken, cold cuts, is allergic to peanuts

We tried the old "eat what's in front of you or starve" technique and he lost weight.

Tried to "force" him to eat something. He threw up.

Looked into my husband's side of the family and his nephews, uncle and grandmother had similar food issues. His grandmother never outgrew it and she lived into her 80s!

Here is the ultimate DIS challenge. Try to come up with breakfast, lunch and dinner suggestions from the above list of foods every single day.
I'm going stir crazy an have no other ideas.

Wow, chicken? My 6 year old has never tasted chicken, except in a nugget. She pretty much eats what your ds eats. Oh well!

 

[justhat]

We don't cater to our daughter anymore than we do to ourselves. We don't like certain foods so we don't buy them much so if she doesn't like certain things then we try not to get them much either. Or when we do we provide other parts of the meal that she'll eat. What I mean is, my husband doesn't like fish very much, so I don't buy it that often. And when I do I make vegetables and other sides that he likes. I don't like green beans but my husband and daughter do so I still buy them but make them along with an entree that I enjoy. So same for our daughter (and eventually son too).

However, if she doesn't like any part of the meal then she's basically out of luck cause I'm not cooking a separate meal. When she's older if she hates the entire meal then she can have cereal or make a sandwich, but I'm really not going to waste time cooking 2 or more meals each night.

 

[pearlieq]

My mom was an "eat what's put in front of you" person and it sometimes it seemed sort of cruel and insensitive. While I don't mind asking kids to try things, especially when they're young, I see no point in making a kid choke down something you know darn well they don't like. That just shows a lack of empathy, to my way of thinking.

When the kids are little (10 or so and younger) I plan on asking them to take one bite of everything. If they don't like it, they don't have to eat more. I don't have a problem with them picking and choosing among what I've cooked. Once they get to the tween stage, I don't plan on forcing them to eat anything. They'll be old enough at that point to fix themselves a healthy sandwich. They won't starve and I'm hoping that keeping the house stocked with decent food will eventually equate to some semblance of a balanced diet.

 

[tkd lisa]

Both kids were fairly picky when they were younger. At about 10, DD started to get adventurous (on our first cruise), and she'll eat almost anything now. She really doesn't care for pizza though, so she's a tough one to feed at a kids party.

DS is fairly picky, at least about anything vegetable. He also eats pasta without sauce, and doesn't want gravy on anything.

My response has been to have something they will eat at every meal, and if they don't want the vegetable, they have to eat a cup of applesauce. At a restaurant, if their food doesn't come the way they wanted, they have to ask for it to be replaced. At 14 and 13, they're old enough to explain what they want.

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm with T&B about picking battles. When the kids were little, I made stuff I knew they didn't like, but then I would make enough of something else on the side that could make a meal. Like if I were making a spicy chicken curry, I'd just do some plain chicken for them with a side of veggies. Now that they're older, they're getting a lot more experimental, but when they choose not to eat what I make, they're big enough to make something for themselves.

What I've never understood is picky adults. I can see if they've tried something and didn't like it, but when they won't even try new things. My parents are like that and it drives me nuts. Once in a while I'll offer to bring them some dinner, and they ALWAYS turn it down because I've done something "wrong" to it (like using sausage in chili, or added seasonings to a burger).

 

[aprilgail2]

I just make things I know my daughter likes for her and something else for me and sometimes something else for gram if she doesn't like what I am kanking for me...so whipping up 2-3 meals is no big deal to me. My daughter will try a few new things here or there but I don't eat what I don't like and I certainly won't force her to eat what she doesn't like.

 

[shirleyb]

OMG, I know what you mean! I brined our turkey this year for Thanksgiving, and it was incredible. My FIL refused to try it, he would only eat BIL's regular turkey. The following week I made a turkey meat pie, and he wouldn't eat it because it had "some of that brined turkey in it." He claims he tried it and it was terrible, but I sat beside him and know better!

 

[Acklander]

Our entire family has weird eating habits. DH is diabetic, allergic to cheese and doesn't eat red meat or poultry (but he will eat pork or seafood). I'll eat red meat, but am not fond of pork, and I'll eat shellfish, but not regular fish. I like italian best (lasagna, pasta etc...) so usually just buy the lean cusines to eat with a salad. DS7 is vegetarian (won't eat anything that was once an animal or a fish - he finds it too sad) and also a purist - doesn't like sauce on anything. Oldest DS will eat anything - thank God!!!
We all sort of do our own thing around meal time.

 

[taximomfor4]

I serve what I serve. As for putting up with picky kids (by planning meals around them or whatever)... I have them try all kinds of things. But with a child with sensory integration dysfunction, I have to make some allowances. Instead of letting her turn up her nose at things (which gives her too much power IMO), I just think carefully about which things shouldn't be terrible for her to eat.

If I serve spaghetti, my youngest dislikes tomato sauce (doesn't even like pizza much), so I put just a dollop of sauce on her pasta. In THAT way, I allow the pickiness.

I don't like every food, so I don't expect my kids to either. I do have them TRY everything, but I won't keep making things they hate. Or if I do, there are enough other items in the meal that they can skip the "yucky" item.

Beth

 

[aes74]

I make one meal, no catering also! But we also have a couple guidelines:

You have to at least try everything on your plate

Everyone is allowed one thing they don't like, and don't have to eat. Mine is mushrooms, one of my daughter's is nuts.

They are never allowed to be rude when they are eating at someone's home. I try to teach them to be a polite guest, never to say "I don't eat this," or "this looks gross," etc. I've had older kids come over and say, "I don't like any of the things you're cooking."
I am surprised at how many adults don't even go by these simple courtesies.

As for the rest, we do our best, and pick our battles.
If all else fails, beat 'em.
Just kidding, of course.

 

[jodifla]

I think it's a terrible idea to turn food into a battleground. There were lots of foods I despised as a child that I like now. I hated being forced to eat anything, and I won't force DS to either. I'll push him to try it, but I won't try and starve him into it.

Dh and I eat hours after DS does, so he does get his own meal each night. As it is, he's at 90 percentile of height and 40 percentile of weight, so I want to make sure he eats as much as possible.

 

[DaisyD]

My DD is very picky. I always fix what we want for dinner but she wouldn't touch that stuff so I make her something else. No biggie. Everyone has different likes and dislikes. I wouldn't force my husband to try something he didn't want to and I'm not about to start with my kids. My other two kids turned out just fine and will eat anything now though they too were picky when they were kids.

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

I've been pretty lucky- My kids will eat well, and things that I don't think I would have as a kid. My youngest will always say broccoli, is her favorite food- not vegatable- Her favorite FOOD. I still won't eat raw broccoli.

I don't cook special for them, but I don't fix stuff I know they won't like either. For instance- DH and I love garlic, salt, and pepper on green beans, but the girls don't. I will make them a plainer version. Same w/ meat. Why torture them, by setting them up w/ something they won't like.

I once knew a kid that would eat almost nothing but pizza, and grilled cheese sandwiches- Mom put up w/ it. He ordered pizza at least 4 times/week.

Vacationed w/ family a few years ago- My niece's boyfriend eats nothing but hamburgers. We were in Hilton Head- needless to say- he ate off the kids menu almost everywhere, since we were at alot of seafood restaurants.

Adults are sometimes more picky than kids. My MIL doesn't like seafood- fine w/ me, but don't make yucky noises and face, when someone at the table orders it. And don't dog me for turning your son into someone who enjoys shrimp, and crab. Who is the kid- For goodness sake!!

 

[Beca]

DS8 is in the 85th percentile for height and the 10th percentile for weight. I suppose I could adopt the old "he'll eat when he gets hungry" philosophy, but I prefer NOT to be able to see every vein in his body through his skin!

I do not limit what I cook to only what he will eat, and I do encourage him to try everything at least once, but I will ALWAYS have food available that I know he will eat if he balks at what I am serving - California rolls, peanut butter and baked beans among other things.

I'm terrified that he doesn't get enough protein.

I have a dd5 who is in the same boat. She also spent the first two years of her life in and out of hospitals EVERY time she got sick....even with the common cold. Her immune system was so bad (dr. said due to the fact that she was tall, but way too skinny for her age). She stopped nursing entirely at 14 months (she didn't nurse that much anyway), only to discover that she didn't like milk. My pediatrician gave her chocolate milk in his office one day, and she drank it....so, he told me to give her chocolate milk if that is all she would drink. He also said she was not "allowed" to skip a meal.

Well, that TOTALLY started me in the cycle of "catering" to my child. So, yes...I do cater to her. However, we do have a rule that with every birthday there is a new food that she must eat. This year, she picked hamburgers as her food. She doesn't like them, but she will pick at it until it is gone.

As a mom, you can always tell which foods your child really doesn't like, compared to the ones they just don't want to learn to eat. For example, my dd says she doesn't like hamburgers, but will comment on how good the house smells when I am cooking it (before she knows what it is). She grudgingly eats it. However, put corn in her mouth...and you might as well have put in poo!!! Sarah Bernhardt would have NOTHING on the dramatics of this kid!! I guess she really doesn't like corn...or watermelon...or many other yummy things that anyone in their right mind would love!!

However, there is not a SINGLE food that I was forced to eat as a child that I can even tolerate now....beef stew and grape juice were things I was forced to eat, and even now the smell makes me want to barf. In contrast, there were many foods I was not forced to eat as a child, and never would've eaten as a child that I truly LOVE now (guacamole and balsamic vinegar come to mind).

Bottom line, my dd is polite enough to know NOT to raise a stink if we go somewhere and she is served something she does not like....that's basic manners. But, in my heart I cannot/will not make our dinner time a battle of wills over food, when my dd has always had food issues. As long as she is getting enough protein and fruit (and taking her 15 vitamins a day ), I try really hard not to get too upset over her limited choices. We put good food in our house (almost entirely organics, raw milk, raw butter, and raw cheese), and if she chooses not to eat our dinner, I really have very little problem with her getting a few slices of cheese to eat instead. As long as she is choosing good foods....I don't care what she eats...as long as she actually eats!!

 

[KimR]

I'll tell you, when I was young, kids ate what parents put in front of them. If it was just my mom feeding me, if I didn't eat what she made, I'd get twice as much, especially on the brussel sprouts and any other veggies. If Dad was home and I pulled that picky eater crap, it was TROUBLE (spanking, grounding or -- the worst -- public humiliation if I pulled this stunt at a restaurant). And it was this way in every friend's home I visited as a child. Kids ate what moms and dads ate. We might not have always liked it, but it didn't ever seem that there was a choice.

That is how I was raised and that's exactly why I refuse to force my DDs to eat anything they don't like. My Mother was an excellent cook but she had a preference for foods I absolutely did not like - casseroles and other foods heavy on cream sauces, gravy and cheese. Mealtimes were a nightmare for me. To this day I am picky and still will not each those types of foods so the practice did nothing to make me a more adventurous eater. There is a difference between catering to pickiness and forcing you child to eat something they truly hate.

 

[disneygals]

I'll make whatever anyone wants to eat...

The funny thing is that my kids LOVE the meat that I despised as a child (and an adult), so I'll make them london broil, chicken, pork chops and then make ME something else.

 

[maps]

My biggest gripe is that my son won't even try something and it's on his list of things he won't eat.

If I try to force him to try it, he's already made up his mind that he doesn't like it.

I tried coaxing, bribing, threatening--you name it. Nothing will make this kid even try something. All I'm looking for is one bite. It is extemely frustrating.

For example, tonight's dinner is lasagna. Won't try it so he doesn't even know he'll dislike it. So he'll sit at the table and eat a piece of bread and water (his latest thing is the only thing he wants to drink is water).

FRUSTRATING!!!