Phone Etiquette... Your Thoughts.

[AKL_Megs]

What are your thoughts on people who call you, but don't leave a message when you don't answer, and then get mad at you because they needed you for something, and you didn't get back with them?

 

[AKL_Megs]

IMO, if there is something URGENT, I leave a message. If not, I just hang up. But, if I don't leave a message, I never even question the other person for not returning my call.

I also probably will not call someone back if they haven't left a message, simply because I have done this one too many times, only to be told, "Oops! I dialed you by accident!"

 

[Disney Doll]

I think those people are idiots.

Crazy SIL tried to pull this when she found out we had caller ID. Said "Oh great, so now I can call, let it ring once, hang up and you'll know I called so you'll call me back". Translation: "Oh good, you'll call long distance on your dime!". I told her that if she called and wanted something she should leave a message, otherwise I would assume she had misdialed.

 

[scrapquilter]

My MIL does this. She calls my house repeatedly, hangs up on the answering machine and then gets mad if I don't call her back. And I know why: She assumes that everyone in the world has caller ID (we don't, because I refuse to pay for it on top of the other charges on the phone bill)

I just tell her everytime, I'm not psychic...I can't tell that you are trying to get hold of me if there is no message. She doesn't get it. Oh well.

 

[ajk912]

Considering I can't understand why people would screen my calls since I am so wonderful and such a joy to talk to, I just assume that they weren't home, and when they get home they will see that I called and immediately call me back.

Actually, I am posting this tongue-in-cheek but that is the way it plays out. You only leave a message if it's an emergency, otherwise, I will call you when I see the missed call or you call me when you see the missed call. Checking voicemail is a huge PITA, so let's save ourselves the time and not leave a message.

 

[Ephany]

We don't have caller id on the house phone, in fact we only got a landline because we'll need it to have the security alarm installed. We got 3 calls from telemarketers in the first 6 hours the phone was turned on. I've let everyone know that if they expect me to call them back, they must leave a message or call my cell (which does have caller id). Unless someone calls me multiple times in a row, if they don't leave a message, I'm going to assume it wasn't that important.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

I use my cell for everything and it is a pain to listen to messages like "hey so and so it's mom, call me when you get this" if its not important and they just want to chat then I appreciate them not leaving a msg. If it's important then thats a different story. PLus with as busy at work as all my sisters and I are, we just send a quick text with our msg if we need to. It works well for us.

 

[Stacerita]

If they want me to call back, they better leave a message. I am not psychic and won't know that they needed to talk to me. If I see a missed call, and no message, then I will assume it was an error or that they didn't need to talk to me after all.

 

[ajk912]

I use my cell for everything and it is a pain to listen to messages like "hey so and so it's mom, call me when you get this" if its not important and they just want to chat then I appreciate them not leaving a msg. If it's important then thats a different story. PLus with as busy at work as all my sisters and I are, we just send a quick text with our msg if we need to. It works well for us.

Same here. If I get a voicemail, I pretty much know I need to drop whatever I am doing to figure out what the emergency is. I am usually pretty good at returning calls, and everyone I know has a cell phone for their primary line so I think between us it's pretty common knowledge to NOT leave a message. Feel free to text, though! But not everyone has texting on their plans, I know.

 

[RunningGirl]

I do not call you back unless you leave a message.

And I don't like it when I call someone, leave a message, and they call me back because they saw I had called on caller ID but didn't listen to the message. My dad does this all the time!

 

[DarthKTrava]

I rarely call anyone back. The landline doesn't have caller ID.

If I get a call on my cell phone, the only reason I might call back is if your # is already entered into it. Or if it's someone I'm expecting to call related to an upcoming event and they only call near the time for that event...

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Heck, even if they leave a message I might choose not to call back. Don't leave a message and you have no shot...

 

[Inigo]

Heck, even if they leave a message I might choose not to call back. Don't leave a message and you have no shot...

I'm glad I'm not the only one! My 35 year old niece left a message last week while we were on vacation. I'm still on vacation (although I'm home now) so I haven't called back yet. I know she'll want me to do something for her, since that's the only time she ever calls me, and it will be something she should be perfectly capable of doing herself.

 

[Cinderella94]

Heck, even if they leave a message I might choose not to call back. Don't leave a message and you have no shot...

Same with me!

 

[clh2]

If someone calls me and doesn't leave a message, either on my landline, or on my cell, there is NO WAY I can return the call. I simply do not check for missed calls. If you leave a message on either, I will know that you called, and I will return your call in the evening.

 

[Disney Doll]

And leaving the message...that's the other annoying thing! Leave me a message about what you need/want. Don't leave me a "This is Susie call me back" message. Leave me a message that says "This is Susie, I need to know if you would be available to babysit Jimmy on Saturday from 10-12 while I go to the dentist". Then I can look on my calendar, determine whether or not I am available and call back and, if Susie is not home, leave a message saying Yes or No. Instead, I call Susie back, she's not home, so I leave a message saying "I got your message. Call me back and let me know what you need me for. If I am not home leave the message on the machine, including what you need me for so we don't keep playing message tag".

I have no idea why this concept is so hard.

I also hate the people who I leave a message for, who call me back without listening to the message so I have to repeat the whole thing and then they say "Let me check and I'll call you back". Well, had you listened to my message you could have checked already & had an answer! It's time-wasting.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

What are your thoughts on people who call you, but don't leave a message when you don't answer, and then get mad at you because they needed you for something, and you didn't get back with them?

I think they are nuts!

And leaving the message...that's the other annoying thing! Leave me a message about what you need/want. Don't leave me a "This is Susie call me back" message. Leave me a message that says "This is Susie, I need to know if you would be available to babysit Jimmy on Saturday from 10-12 while I go to the dentist". Then I can look on my calendar, determine whether or not I am available and call back and, if Susie is not home, leave a message saying Yes or No. Instead, I call Susie back, she's not home, so I leave a message saying "I got your message. Call me back and let me know what you need me for. If I am not home leave the message on the machine, including what you need me for so we don't keep playing message tag".

I have no idea why this concept is so hard.

I also hate the people who I leave a message for, who call me back without listening to the message so I have to repeat the whole thing and then they say "Let me check and I'll call you back". Well, had you listened to my message you could have checked already & had an answer! It's time-wasting.

Ditto!

If I see that you called, but you didn't leave a message, I'm going to assume you needed something really quick and if I wasn't available that moment, you didn't need me anymore. If you still need me, leave a message and tell me what you want.

On the flip side, what does everyone think of strangers who call you back when you've misdialed and called them by mistake? If I see a missed call from a number I don't recognize and there is no message, I assume it's either a telemarketer or a wrong number, and I don't give it a second thought. Yet there have been a couple of times I've received calls back from these people, asking why I called. I can't imagine taking the time to do that.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

What are your thoughts on people who call you, but don't leave a message when you don't answer, and then get mad at you because they needed you for something, and you didn't get back with them?

People who do this are users. It's MUCH harder (for me anyway) to say no to someone when I'm actually talking on the phone than when someone leaves a message asking me to do something.

If it's on a message, I can consider it and decide if it's something I can do or not, but if they just call me I have a hard time letting people down.

And people KNOW this about me so they don't leave messages.

But I'm learning, I just don't call them back. Until I get better at saying "no" to people directly, it's what works for me.

FWIW, I always ask people for stuff either in emails or I leave a message, I think it's considerate to give people the opportunity to decide whether or not they can do something without that added pressure. I do admire people who have no problem saying no. My MIL is a freakin' expert at it:


DD: "Grandma, can you take me to American Girl for my birthday, I'd like to get an outfit for my doll."

MIL: "No dear, I'm too busy."

Now that's a talent.

 

[Becky2005]

In our case, since we don't have caller ID on the home phone -- if you called & didn't leave a message, I would have no way on earth to know you even called in the first place.

So, it would be their problem for not leaving a message.

 

[ajk912]

I do admire people who have no problem saying no. My MIL is a freakin' expert at it:


DD: "Grandma, can you take me to American Girl for my birthday, I'd like to get an outfit for my doll."

MIL: "No dear, I'm too busy."

Now that's a talent.

Awww, that is both incredibly hilarious and incredibly sad at the same time.