MushyMushy
Marseeya Here!
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2006
- Messages
- 13,072
Do any of you have this issue with friends or acquaintances where they'll come to you asking for money?
When we bought our house, we'd hired a handyman for a few jobs and he was so awesome. He was a retiree and would show my husband how to do a lot of things. He started asking for "advances." It was getting to the point where he was bleeding us dry and owed us more work than he could do and still do paying jobs, so we pretty much cut him off (I say we, but it was more my husband than me).
Now DH has reconnected with an old friend of his. This guy was in our wedding. He's a musician, not married, living with his mother. Ever since he and DH reconnected, he's been asking for donations or "sponsorships" to get his car running, or to go somewhere (like Beatlefest in Ohio at one point). He even has a website that allows people to donate to him and he keeps putting the website in people's faces, despite the fact that he's only gotten $10 donated.
We're generous people and would give you the shirt off our backs if we could. It's just getting frustrating. Times are tough, but both of these men are single and have no children or other dependents.
The same thing is happening to a close friend of mine. She has two friends in her life who are really bad off financially (one a musician who also has a job as a cook and the other is a woman who has recently become ill and can't work... but also won't do anything to get herself other help, like disability or welfare). They're both single with no dependents. One can afford cigarettes and beer, but can't feed himself or pay the bills. My friend is so conflicted -- like us, she would really love to help them, but the fact that they are actually asking her for the help and don't have families to support gives her pause. The female started hinting around to me and another friend about giving her rides and taking her out, but we backed off from her.
I'm just curious if any of you have gone through this and how you handle it. I also wanted to vent a little. I understand that these people are hurting financially, but it really puts a strain on the friendships. Am I just being a total jerk by getting ticked off by all this?
When we bought our house, we'd hired a handyman for a few jobs and he was so awesome. He was a retiree and would show my husband how to do a lot of things. He started asking for "advances." It was getting to the point where he was bleeding us dry and owed us more work than he could do and still do paying jobs, so we pretty much cut him off (I say we, but it was more my husband than me).
Now DH has reconnected with an old friend of his. This guy was in our wedding. He's a musician, not married, living with his mother. Ever since he and DH reconnected, he's been asking for donations or "sponsorships" to get his car running, or to go somewhere (like Beatlefest in Ohio at one point). He even has a website that allows people to donate to him and he keeps putting the website in people's faces, despite the fact that he's only gotten $10 donated.
We're generous people and would give you the shirt off our backs if we could. It's just getting frustrating. Times are tough, but both of these men are single and have no children or other dependents.
The same thing is happening to a close friend of mine. She has two friends in her life who are really bad off financially (one a musician who also has a job as a cook and the other is a woman who has recently become ill and can't work... but also won't do anything to get herself other help, like disability or welfare). They're both single with no dependents. One can afford cigarettes and beer, but can't feed himself or pay the bills. My friend is so conflicted -- like us, she would really love to help them, but the fact that they are actually asking her for the help and don't have families to support gives her pause. The female started hinting around to me and another friend about giving her rides and taking her out, but we backed off from her.
I'm just curious if any of you have gone through this and how you handle it. I also wanted to vent a little. I understand that these people are hurting financially, but it really puts a strain on the friendships. Am I just being a total jerk by getting ticked off by all this?
