People inviting themselves....

[Twinkles6892]

I seem to be having a problem with this lately! If it's not my friend coming home with me and not leaving until 5, it's people inviting themselves places with me!

I have plans with about 6 people to go bowling saturday night, one of them, happens to be the boy I like, and he's really shy, so I'm trying to keep it small, so he can meet the rest of my friends and such. Well one of my friends from 'the other group' got ahold of the fact that we were going and he was like "well, what about me?!" so I explained that it wasn't because I didn't want him to go or anything, it was just that I was trying to keep it small and I didn't want to invite everyone etc...

So then he asks me where/what time we're going! And stupid me, I tell him! And I asked him if he was planning on showing up, and he said "Me and some cool people might come" And I asked how many, he said "9, maybe more."

I know I'm being a total brat here, but I just don't want them to come/the other group to know that they weren't invited. What do I do?

 

[mommytotwo]

Change your plans, and ask the guy you like out on a date.

 

[mickeyboat]

I know what you mean. I have a friend who does that constantly, invites you over for dinner, and it turns into a mega-party.

Good luck with this guy. Bowling sounds fun. Even if more people come, you will still have to break up into smaller groups for each lane, and you might have some "quite time" with the guy and your friends.

Denae

 

[Maleficent13]

Find another bowling alley, and go there. When your "self-invitee" shows up at the original place and you aren't there, oops! (And don't answer your cell if it's him!). Then at school Monday just say, "oops, sorry. I got the places mixed up!"

 

[snoopy]

Does the other boy (the one inviting himself) like you by chance? Sounds to me like he doesn't want the boy you like honing in on his territory.....

I like Malificent's suggestion though. Anyway to change the venue and just not let him know?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yep, sounds like it is still all about 'cliques' at your age!!!

If it is not easy to change the place, change the date or the time!!

PS: I know how I would just want to tell the others that they are just NOT invited.... But, unfortunately, at your age, in your situation.... Definately not the thing to do!!!

Hey, Why not just ask the guy you like on an additional 'date' with your closest friends... then, let the bowling thing be one big party!!!!

Now, that sounds like a plan!

edited to add: Live and Learn!!!!! Now you know to keep things to yourself, and you wont make this mistake again!!!

 

[disneymom3]

Does the guy you like know the other people who might be horning in on the evening? Do the people who were already invited know you are trying to keep things low key? If they do, I would talk to the ones who were genuily invited and change the plans. If the other dude says anything to you later, you simply say,'Oh we had a change of plans." and you can leave it at that because he wasn't part of the group you were going with anyway.

And I agree, sounds like he wants to stick around and watch out for this other guy.

 

[Twinkles6892]

Does the other boy (the one inviting himself) like you by chance? Sounds to me like he doesn't want the boy you like honing in on his territory.....

I like Malificent's suggestion though. Anyway to change the venue and just not let him know?

I am not Nick's territory! But when I said I wanted to keep it low key because Ben was going to be there he made a sad face and said "ow...stupid emotions, so you really like Ben, like more than a friend?" Uh oh.

I don't want to change my plans because it was actually my friend Chris who thought of this idea, he did say though "If Nick think's he's going to show up, he's crazy. I'll talk to him"

I really hope he's not watching out for Ben!

 

[disneymom3]

I am not Nick's territory! But when I said I wanted to keep it low key because Ben was going to be there he made a sad face and said "ow...stupid emotions, so you really like Ben, like more than a friend?" Uh oh.

I don't want to change my plans because it was actually my friend Chris who thought of this idea, he did say though "If Nick think's he's going to show up, he's crazy. I'll talk to him"

I really hope he's not watching out for Ben!

Uhhh, hate to break it to you, but even if you think you are not his territory, I am thinking he still has a little something going on there. I had a friend in high school, he was a friend we all hung out in a group, BUT he did act this same way whenever I was starting to date someone. Even went so far as to basically stop talking to me (though he pretended he wasn't doing that--ya know how that goes ) when I got involved more seriously with a guy. Anway, I never thought he liked me, liked me. Fast forward to my wedding at age 23. We kept in contact through college etc. He was an usher in my wedding. Standing at the back of the church, my dad says to him, "So, you giving up now?" Friend says, "Hey it's not over til she walks back down the aisle the other way." Dad says he was totally serious.

Moral of the story, sometimes there is something there even if you deny it. Hopefully this other friend can convince this Nick to lay off and not show up.