People baffle me sometimes

[mom2grace]

How would she react if you just "forgot" about your offer of the baby supplies, and wait for her to ask for them?

Also, IMO, she did write the email to your DH as well..........but SIL was probably smart enough to know what his reaction would be? As with all in-law issues, it's most important for the two of you to act as a team.

 

[robinb]

Her attitude could be one of two things, she's a jerk, or she's got new mom jitters (sounds like she's been waiting for this for a long time) and she wants everything to be "perfect" and that's making her forget her manners.

I was thinking the same thing about her wanting things to be "perfect" ... although she doesn't have any of those raging pregnancy hormones that are usually blamed for that kind of behavior. She's probably just clueless about what she really needs and feels uncomfortable taking things from you. I would just let it go and consider that you are actually giving your new niece or nephew the gifts and not her.

 

[rie'smom]

No way! I got suckered into hosting her bridal shower and that was the beginning of the end . I was dictated to for months prior. She even went so far as to have a friend print a list of desired gifts (specific gift certificates in specific amounts) to be mailed to her guest list because I wouldn't include them in the shower invite.
She is a piece of work and she usually makes me laugh (at her, not with her) but this time I am just scratching my head. My dh says dsil is lucky she sent the e-mail to me because if he had gotten it he would have taken everything out back and threw dirt on it!!!
Thank you, one and all, for acknowledging how bad my girls will be because they are lacking Baby Mozart. I will begin therapy for them immediately.
Oh.... get this, dsil only plans to bring the dbaby to WDW once in it's entire childhood. Oh yeah, that's what I said. Now who's the bad Mom????

Give her a surprise shower. She'd probably hate it and criticize everything but hey she does that anyway.

 

[mrsltg]

The bottom line is that she is clueless when it comes to other people. She's not mean, just socially-lacking. I understand this has been a heck of a ride for her and her husband and I am THRILLED to see them start their family. I don't mean the OP in a mean-spirited way.

Oh, case in point. She was in my wedding party. When she was getting married she told me point blank that she wasn't having a wedding party because everyone feels like they have to accept and no one really wants to do it. - oooookkkkaaaayyyyy

She told dh and I that we should adopt a hamster before adopting our puppy so we could see if we could handle caring for a living creature. This is second only to us announcing our first pregnancy and her saying, "You should really mentor a child first to see if you're up to having a child of your own."

I kid you not. I laugh at her regularly. I can't help it!

 

[Sandy V.]

No way! I got suckered into hosting her bridal shower and that was the beginning of the end . I was dictated to for months prior. She even went so far as to have a friend print a list of desired gifts (specific gift certificates in specific amounts) to be mailed to her guest list because I wouldn't include them in the shower invite.

Then she falls more into the "jerk" category to me and not some well-intentioned but misguided mother-to-be. It's her personality and not anxiety about the baby. I'd LOAN her your baby things.

Everyone's a perfect parent until they actually HAVE a child!

 

[mom2grace]

If you do "loan" her things, be sure to put your name on it in a permanent way, this will discourage her from passing it on.

 

[xyzabc33]

I'm with the hubby on this one....LOL

Wow, what to do with this one, she is a piece of work. I understand the new mom jitters but geez, high class only toys, yeah right. I think just giving the baby/not her a nice little gift basket full of useful and very cheap items would be your best bet at this point. You might want to include a copy of "moms for dummys" if they make one. LOL And since she is upset about you getting stuff given to you, you might want to also include a list of local charities so she can get "free" stuff too. HMMPFF. LOL **shakes head** makes ya wonder sometimes. I think she has been watching and reading too much how to stuff.

 

[pospisil]

When I was pregnant with DS, my great aunt brought me a big box of clothes at my baby shower. She is on a very, very limited income, and she handed me the box and told me that she was sorry, she had gotten a bunch of baby clothes at garage sales, and if I didn't want them, she'd understand. She said she knew that some people didn't want used things for their babies. I thanked her and assured her that that wasn't how I felt. I opened that box and she had washed and pressed everything, and they were just the sweetest clothes, and they all looked brand new. I was grateful my aunt had spent so much time on the clothes, and I made sure she knew it!

Your SIL should be glad that she has someone to help her out. With a new baby, she'll need all the help she can get!

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

She should be appreciative that you are offering her nice things to use so that she doesn't have to buy them. Does she think you put them away dirty? If you do graciously lend them to her, I would definately specify that you want them back "Clean". I would have been fuming if that came to me. I would tell her that she is welcome to it, but she should clean it to her standards if she doesn't like what condition it's in.
Imagine what she will be like when she actually adopts the baby! Before coming to your house she may specify that it be "clean" and specify how you should "clean" it or may not allow her child to go there at all. She will probably have hand sanitizing units all over her house and even outside the door for people to use before they come into the house, if she doesn't already.
Can you imagine if doesn't let her child interact with yours because your child wasn't raised on Baby Mozart. LOL!!!
Boy she is in for a rude awakening!!!

 

[xyzabc33]

She told dh and I that we should adopt a hamster before adopting our puppy so we could see if we could handle caring for a living creature. This is second only to us announcing our first pregnancy and her saying, "You should really mentor a child first to see if you're up to having a child of your own."

I kid you not. I laugh at her regularly. I can't help it!

THis made me actually snort, which I had to do quietly as not to disturb my DD's educational programming.

What on earth did she want you to do? Tell the kid inside you to hold on for another 6 extra months while you "tried" out being a mentor. Oh wait, maybe she wanted you to return your baby to the womb in case you weren't "up to it"
Umm this in one case where I would definetly throw that comment back in her face. Dont flame me, I am sure the woman wouldnt make a horrible mom, but GEEZ LOUISE that poor pumpkin is gonna have some major issues later in life. HEY---there ya go a perfect gift, a year's therapy for the kid. You know it is all the rage now. Does she already have the kid on a wait list for the upscale preschool.? It really does sound like she has watched one too many movies on perfect children. You really have to keep us updated on this, like a year or so from now when she is wearing the shirt with spit up on the shoulder---we want pictures of that. HEHEHEHE


I agree with the others, either only LOAN her the items or just donate them now to someone else. If she asks, "well you didnt seem very interested and I heard of someone that really needed them and wasnt particular on how they looked as long as they had something"

HEY CLEAN UP YOUR KIDS, they look like Pigsty from the Peanuts cartoon. LOL

 

[barkley]

given all the sad stories i've read on the adoption threads and how long it can take for someone to actualy get a child into their home-i would'nt be worried about her getting baby supplies at this point. it may even happen that when it happens the age of the adoptee may rule out the necessity for some of the items.

i'de just hang onto the stuff (if it was'nt inconvenient) and wait a while to see what happens.