People are mean to teen mothers

[dizneenut]

I know what you mean. I had my first DS when I was 19, and I got alot of looks, etc. DH & I both look younger than we are and people comment alot when they see us out w/ all 4 boys. It drives me nuts.

 

[tinkerbell27]

Hi Kermit!

I too am alot older than I look. I'm 27 and look about 18.I also have two great kids, a 3 1/2 yr old and a 2yr old!!! I had a man (50ish) come up to me at the mall one time when I had both of my kids with me and he asked if they were mine- I smiled and told him yes, he shook his head and turned around and walked away .

 

[Princess_Aurora]

Bob O-
I've gotta disagree with you also. The reason a lot of teenaged mothers end up on the streets or on welfare is, most of the time, from nonsupportive familes. There's no reason you should critisize or judge them because in some cases there is no reason to.


I had a friend in high school who was 18, got engaged and had every reason to believe she would be with this man all her life. She wasn't "carousing about in a flippant/sexual manner" as you put it, and neither are about half of all pregnant teenagers. I was in a solid relationship when I got pregnant as a teen and so was my friend.

It turns out in most cases that the dad isn't as reasposible as the mom, but when they go out in public there's no way for people to tell by looking at them that they've just abandoned their child so they don't get any critisim.

*Stepping off soap box now.*

Sorry 'bout that...this is just kinda a sore subject for me because of the way I got treated when I was pregnant with DD.

 

[Bob O]

Well maybe the females on this site arent acting in a flippant manner sexually but from the teenagers i see everyday they are most definitely acting in that type of manner and under the mistaken belief a child will make their whole life better. Which in most cases doesnt but keeps the welfare cycle going around and around. And this non-judgemental attitude makes the problem worse. If you arent judgemental it will only encourage more teenagers to have kids out of wedlock which is a major cause of alot of societies problems today!!!

 

[tiggerlover]

I am sorry you are experiencing the meaness of people. There are a lot of crude people in this world, it is a shame they have to inflict their crudness on others.

{{HUGS}}

 

[Gillian]

Kermit, you are lucky to look so young

Bob O, maybe the teenagers you see are really 26 year olds!

Seriously, I see your point, but becoming judgemental after these girls get pregnant is not going to help. Parental guidance to make sure it doesn't happen in the first place might have, but unless you are living that person't life, how can you know what is best?

It's also clear from the original post that society is VERY judgemental & unaccepting of teen pregnancies. But being mean to pregnant women is not going to change ANYTHING!

 

[dalepool]

I think the people who act coldly towards a "young mother" may have been a " younger Mom" themselves. I was 32 when I had my daughter---let me tell you being older isn't all that great either. Some of the children in my daughters Kindergarten class were the kids of children I had babysat for so many years before. A loving parent who nutures a productive human being is a blessing---No where did I see where there is an age requirement. I do know that as a parent I want my daughter to wait until she is financially, spiritially, and emotionally capable to raise --my grandchild" I also know that may not be the case----but no matter what I will be there for the long haul.

PattyN

 

[tigercat]

I was 19 when I had my first 21 for the second 23 and 24 for the 3rd & 4th. I am only 4'8 1/2" tall and at the time weighed 84 lbs. You can bet that I didn't look my age. I got stared at all the time and got a lot of comments. It was really difficult. The funny thing was I was married before I got pregnant for the 1st time. Now my dd also got pregnant and had a baby at 17. It was really difficult for her for she has become a really great Mum. She is now married (her dh has adopted her 1st) and they have a 2nd dd. It was not a great situation with her and we had many talks about the situation but in the end with family support things have worked out really great.
tigercat

 

[Pugsley]

Claudia, I'm so sorry about what happened to your DD. What an awful thing to have to go through.

 

[sydally9367]

Unfortuntely, I know EXACTLY how you feel Kermit. I am 26 as well, and I have two children. I am constantly getting an eye when I go out places, as I've been told I look alot younger than I really am. Especially living here on West Point, alot of older people tend to look down on me. I have alot of people ask me how hard it is to raise two kids being 18 and I laugh and say, I have no idea, I am 26 and didn't have my first child until I was 22-LOL. Sounds like you handle the situation with grace though, I know it's not always easy to do.