Paying It Forward

[Forum Jumper]

There is a story on the 'net of an 11 hour 'pay it forward' at the driveup window at a St. Petersburg, FL., Starbucks involving 378 people.

Do you pay it forward, like this, when someone ahead of you pays for yours?

 

[DeaverTex]

I've never had it happen.

 

[stasijane]

I hit "other" I don't eat fast food

 

[LBIJim]

Was never involved in this situation. What are the logistics? Do you pay for the person ahead of you or behind you? If it's the person ahead, what if they order 5 venti triple extra whatevers, and all you want is a simple coffee? If the person behind, who knows what they're going to order.

In this chain of 378, somebody got their order totally free without reciprocating, and somebody ended up paying twice. The people in the middle came out even, so what's the purpose? A feel-good moment? Pffft.

I suppose I'd be the 379th person.

 

[ashley0139]

I hit "other" I don't eat fast food

....it was a coffee shop.

I've never had someone pay for my order so I don't know what I would do.

 

[ronandannette]

I've never had it happen.

Me neither although I certainly would follow suit if it did. Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess somebody has to just jump in there and start it. If I remember I'm definitely going to do so the next time I drive through somewhere.

 

[scrapquitler]

I've never had that happen, and frankly, I don't know what I would do. I mean, with my luck, the person behind me would probably be ordering for their whole office. I'd be worried that it wouldn't be a simple $4 or $5 order I'd be buying, it would end up being $30 or $40, because that's just the kind of luck I have.

 

[disykat]

I voted other because none of the options fit me. I've never had anyone pay for my coffee.

It seems to me that simply paying for the coffee for the person behind you isn't a "pay it forward" situation. You're still paying for coffee. The first person gave a gift which was basically passed along down the line. IMO, the only person who has actually received a gift is the person who accepts the gift rather than regifting.

Wouldn't Paying it forward be to say "wow, thank you!" and then find something meaningful and maybe even sacrificial to pay forward to someone at another time?

I read that article and thought it seemed odd that they made it out like the person was selfish for not wanting to participate. She didn't need her coffee paid for, so wouldn't that gift be there for the next person? Paying it forward in a record breaking chain is really just everyone except the first and last person paying for a cup of coffee.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I've never had it happen. I think things like that are nice and I would participate as long as the order behind me was reasonable in comparison to mine. I think this was a Starbucks so orders can get quite prices quickly.
If the next order was within a few dollars of mine, sure I'd participate but no way am I paying for the car behind if it's the office coffee run

 

[Luvchefmic]

I have to agree with what sunshinehighway just said. Not everyone is buying the same thing.

The only times I have either started or been involved in a pay it forward situation was where all the prices were the same. A line of cars at a toll booth in NY. This used to happen all the time. Pull up and the toll taker would say the car in front just paid for you Well ok ! I'll pay for the car behind.

How far it went, who knows but it was a feel good moment every time it happened

 

[NHdisneylover]

In addition to the fact that you could end up paying for a whole lot more than you bargained for, or possibly could afford, even if it were the same cost, what is really the point then? At the end of the day only the one, last, person gets any real benefit.

I'd much rather accept that kindness in the moment, enjoy it, and offer my own kindness when the mood strikes me and I have the means.

For me, that means I tend to buy lunch for some backpackers who look like they are running low on funds a few times a year.

If they felt obligated to "pay it forward" right then and there and buy someone else's lunch that same day, it would totally defeat the purpose of my kindness, wouldn't it?

 

[MrsDuck]

Never had it happen. Not sure what I'd do. It's terrible but it would depend on the price of the person behind me's order...

 

[kmb584]

This is a definite "other" as I've never had that happen to me or to anyone I know.

 

[Meriweather]

Never happened to me, but I would probably

I read it was more

10-Hour 'Pay It Forward' Line Ends With Customer No. 458 Who Refuses

 

[stsomewhere]

I voted other.

I don't know what I would do. But, I do not like the fact that the cashier asked if they wanted to pay for the car behind them.

I don't drink coffee but I often treat my daughter and her friend to Starbucks.

 

[mrsv98]

I had this happen to me at Dunkin' Donuts earlier this year and it made my day! I paid for the guy behind me and I would have loved to know if it continued.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I've had this happen to me twice and always participated.

The first time I was told my coffee was free and someone just wanted me to have a good moment in the day it gave me pause because I didn't know who it was or to thank that person. But you know it's nice that someone is trying to do something even simple as doing like paying for coffee. For someone who always gives and gives, it was nice to just receive.

I didn't ask how much the next order was. I simply paid $20 to the cashier and it stretched however long it stretched and that was how I dealt with the situation.

Sometimes it's nice to have something nice done and maybe you feel like you should reciprocate but again it's about the gesture of just doing something nice in a time where sometimes doesn't feel like there is a lot of nice in the world.

 

[ronandannette]

In addition to the fact that you could end up paying for a whole lot more than you bargained for, or possibly could afford, even if it were the same cost, what is really the point then? At the end of the day only the one, last, person gets any real benefit.

I'd much rather accept that kindness in the moment, enjoy it, and offer my own kindness when the mood strikes me and I have the means.

For me, that means I tend to buy lunch for some backpackers who look like they are running low on funds a few times a year.

If they felt obligated to "pay it forward" right then and there and buy someone else's lunch that same day, it would totally defeat the purpose of my kindness, wouldn't it?

Logically sure, you are correct. But I don't know that we need to over-think everything. In a world that can seem pretty devoid of human connections a little gesture like this can sometimes go a long way. And it's the delight in receiving that inspires the potential "giver". Not a bad thing as I see it.

I had this happen to me at Dunkin' Donuts earlier this year and it made my day! I paid for the guy behind me and I would have loved to know if it continued.

This is what I'm saying.

 

[TAX GUY]

I've had this happen to me twice and always participated.

The first time I was told my coffee was free and someone just wanted me to have a good moment in the day it gave me pause because I didn't know who it was or to thank that person. But you know it's nice that someone is trying to do something even simple as doing like paying for coffee. For someone who always gives and gives, it was nice to just receive.

I didn't ask how much the next order was. I simply paid $20 to the cashier and it stretched however long it stretched and that was how I dealt with the situation.

Sometimes it's nice to have something nice done and maybe you feel like you should reciprocate but again it's about the gesture of just doing something nice in a time where sometimes doesn't feel like there is a lot of nice in the world.

Exactly! It's all about the moment. I've done something similar on a toll road here. Give the cashier a $10 or $20 and ask to apply it to the tolls for the cars behind me, until it's all used up.

Logically sure, you are correct. But I don't know that we need to over-think everything. In a world that can seem pretty devoid of human connections a little gesture like this can sometimes go a long way. And it's the delight in receiving that inspires the potential "giver". Not a bad thing as I see it.



This is what I'm saying.

Why am I not surprised that so many here have tried to dissect this and analyze this? Good grief people, it's a kind gesture. Take it, leave it, pass it along or not. Would you over analyze for someone that holds a door for you too?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Logically sure, you are correct. But I don't know that we need to over-think everything. In a world that can seem pretty devoid of human connections a little gesture like this can sometimes go a long way. And it's the delight in receiving that inspires the potential "giver". Not a bad thing as I see it.



This is what I'm saying.

I don't think there is ANYthing wrong with someone choosing to go ahead and continue it forward right then and there--but I think expecting it is wrong and it is not really an act if kindness if the recipient is expected to "pay" for it by doing the same for the next person.

The tone of the article, and the way people were asked by the cashier to continue this, and especially the way the article singles out the woman a bit by describing her car, etc, all make it feel wrong to me--like this stopped being about kindness and started being about obligation. How is that fun or kind