Party/Shower Worries!

[AeriellDawn]

Okay- here's the sitch! Because a lot of my family lives in Orlando and because our budget is tight we unfortunately had to pass on inviting some very close family friends to the ceremony at WDW. I feel really bad about not being able to have them there- they mean a lot to me. We're planning a home reception when we come back from the honeymoon so that we can celebrate with everyone who couldn't be with us on the actual day.

I do however want to celebrate with them up here with an engagement party/shower. I know that etiquette states not to invite people to the shower who will not be invited to the ceremony. But since there is the home reception isn't that the exception to the rule? How do I go about doing that? Two sets of invitations? Wait to send them out until after the party? How can I tell those close family friends that we can't afford to have them join us (wow- I feel like a total heel for just typing that ) without hurting them?

Any suggestions would be helpful.. I feel awful just thinking about this!

 

[theantibride]

I'm probably not the best help here cause I'm a big stickler for the everyone invited to any pre-wedding parties should be invited to the wedding. I guess if you think no one's feelings would be hurt then go ahead but that's a real tough call. My fiance and I refused to invite anyone not invited to the wedding to our enagement party just but apparently we're weird that way.

 

[Mama of Indybride]

Don't feel badly, it is something that is experienced by everybody that is planning a wedding!

It was a little easier for my DD, since we are travelng from out of town. Her choice was to delicately (or not so, in my case, since my friends are older and less likely to have horrible "I was left out pangs") let them know they we so wish to share the special occasion, but realistically cannot invite the entire world to the wedding.

In our case, we feel that some people may actually feel relieved to not have to go to the expense of the trip.

Only close immediate family and dear, dear friends of the bride and groom at the actual ceremony. And still it will be 50 people!

 

[DisneyBrideToni]

I am having an at home reception for those who couldn't go to Disney and they are all coming to my shower. I think that as long as they are participating in either disney or your at home reception its fine.

 

[IndyBride]

It is very hard. I think that you know your guests the best. Perhaps send out a save the date for the at home reception to everyone and save the dates for those that are invited to the actual wedding. That way as they get invitations for other parties the know they are a part of the festivities and won't be wondering. Good luck!

 

[OceanGdss]

I think as long as you're hosting a reception at home its fine to invite them to showers. You are having a destination wedding, not everyone will expect to go. I would just take a moment at each party/shower to make a toast thanking them for being there, express how sad you are that the entire world can't be at your wedding, and how much you truly look forward to them being at the reception.

 

[GlobalDiva]

I don't see the big problem--a lot of people have private wedding ceremonies. You can do an engagement party or a shower, and then do a reception at home. But the party or shower that you do should probably be completely outside the Disney line of events, just so people don't feel left out.

Send an invite for a home reception, so that your loved ones know it's an official celebration. If they ask about the ceremony, you can tell them you did a private ceremony, which isn't a lie