Party Etiquette Question

[PaulaSue]

Almost every picnic I have gone to is bring something along to share. Birthday/weddings is not though.

 

[MissBritt]

Jumping in late....

When hosting, I always plan to provide everything myself. We don't do alcohol, and just about anyone who would be invited knows that. We don't invite with BYOB, either.

That said, if asked by a guest, I don't mind them contributing something. I direct them, though (must be a Southern thing!), so that what they bring compliments the meal plan.

I am from the camp that if it is an occasion that calls for a gift, you should not be asking others to bring anything else. However, I still offer when I am the guest (another Southern thing).

DH is turning 30 this year and I am hosting a dinner party at a local restaurant. I am planning to foot the bill, although I know my parents and his will insist on helping with the bill.

Despite all this, my most successful party was last October... the one party where I asked others to contribute. The reason I did so was that it was a going-away party for a family from church, and the guest list was 60+. The theme was A Mexican Christmas (long story), and I did a taco/burrito buffet. I provided all the seasoned beef, chicken, beans, and rice in chafing dishes on the wrap-around kitchen counter, as well as beverages, and assigned an ingredient to each family attending- one brought diced tomatoes, another shredded cheddar, another tortillas, etc. We ended up having 44 people total, just the right amount of food, and lots of fun. People were talking about that party months later, especially how much they liked the food...so much so that the church decided to copy the idea for the Valentine's dinner for couples this year.

 

[scrapbookworm]

Since we're the only family members who ever host a cookout, we always make them potluck. We usually provide the main dish/grilled meat, but ask that everyone else contribute a side dish. I don't know why *I* should solely be responsible for purchasing and cooking ALL of the food for a dozen people, not to mention all the cleaning before AND after the cookout. Especially since most of the family never reciprocates. I guess if I *had* to quit asking my family members to contribute at the cookouts, then we would quit having them. It's too expensive. Besides, having each person contribute a dish or two gives everyone a chance to try something new.

No one else ever hosts anymore for various reasons. In the summer time, it is fine b/c we have a pool. But, we have a very small house, so those wintertime events like Thanksgiving and Christmas get cramped. Oh well, guess there is nothing that I can do about it.

Of course, for my DD's birthday parties, we provide all of the food.

 

[Ava]

Now for a bday party, no, I would never ask people to bring anything other than their own alcohol because I can't afford to provide alcohol for a bunch of adults. That's if its an adults party of course.

This is how it usually goes in our circle of friends as well. For example, one of our good friends is throwing a birthday party for her boyfriend (whom we are also friends with) and the invite said something like, "We will provide food & some drinks, but please feel free to bring your drink of choice." I don't find this offensive at all since a) these are close friends of ours and b) alcohol is expensive & I also would ask people to BYOB for a casual party.

In OP's case however I think it's kind of tacky since you hardly know these people and it's your DH's client.

Another friend of ours used to throw a Wine Party once a year. The hostesses (3 roommates) would provide the food, and guests were each asked to bring a bottle of wine. It was a lot of fun & we always ended up with a good assortment of interesting wines to try.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

Just depends on what type of party it is. If I am inviting people to our home for something such as a birthday, graduation or some type of shower, of course, we are going to provide all of the food and drink.

But in our group of friends we all have theme type parties during the year - I always have a Halloween party, other friends of ours always have a Kentucky Derby Party and St. Patrick's Day Party - all of these events are always "bring your favorite dish" type of events.

 

[4HppyCamprs]

I was raised that you provide food and drinks at a party you are throwing but at a party your attending you always ask if there is anything you can bring and you always leave whatever it is you brought (except for the dish of course). That said there is a close friend of ours who always asks for a dish to be brought and you bring a present, that would not be a huge deal but she has been inviting people out to expensive restaurants for the kids birthdays expects a gift and for you to pay your own way. Except for like the casual dinners others have mentioned if we invite you for a party, even at a restaurant, we pay. The last dinner we attended ended up costing over 100.00 for us to attend between buying the present and buying the dinner. Last year she could not afford to give daughter a party so she had her daughter choose friends and go to a movie (pay our own way), choose a restaurant (pay our own way) and bring a present...again over 100.00. The worst thing is that neither she nor her children ever said thank you for coming. Okay vent over but this last party I had to polity decline the invitation. Glad that I am not the only one who thinks some of this is poor etiquette.


Mrs.Britt said it perfectly and in much fewer words.

 

[NMW]

It all depends. We have had and been to both. For birthdays, graduation, etc. I would provide all the food. Even when I do, I still have some close friends that bring items. Now we have friends that we have cookouts with and nights where we just hang out. These events are always potluck. Every family brings some type of food and or/alcohol. Although the family hosting usually has plenty of alcohol (beer, mixed drinks, wine) and most of the food.

Our friends usually do superbowel parties potluck dishes with the host providing all the alcohol..although this usually isn't on an invite, it is just understood. We also do Halloween parties this way.