Parents, would you be mad at the school ( long semi vent)

[Cindy B]

As some of you are aware, there has been underlying problems with my osn this year in school. He has been picked on, had problems with a controlling teacher, and various other issues.

Well, since the teacher and us, the parents had a problem communicating.. the IST teacher had a checklist set up so we would know what was going on.. things like needed a reminder to pay attention, playing with things on desk, etc...

Well, this checklist was supposed to be in effect from mid November. I never got the first one, effective date 11/25 to 12/2.. Josh says he forgot to give it to us.. well, I found it buried on the bottom of his bookbag a week later ater Thanksgiving break. (Stuff happens!).. I never got a note from the teacher, etc.. about it, or that it needed to be signed or even a phone call etc...


Well, Monday afternoon, I get two weeks of these lists.. and a note saying that the first one didn't get sent back (I had just found it a few days prior), and here another current week, sign and return..

Well, with packing, and other stuff... (mind you I am moving in about a week), and all that.. I had it all out to sign Tuesday morning.. just glanced at it, but never really had the time to talk to my DH or my son about it.


Well, Wednesday morning I get a pHone call from the interim principal at 930..stating that I didn't sign it, and well, then hands the phone to my son, and well, he sounded forced to say, "Mom, bring the stuff in". Well, I get the message around 2 pm (she left the message at home, did not email me or call me or DH at work.. she has all those numbers). I called right away stating that I did receive it, didn't get a chance to look at it, its been busy, holidays, moving, and all... (for the record I am up at 4 am, and go to bed around 830 pm)...

Then I go out and do some stuff. Josh comes home and I see a timeout slip.. stating that he didn't get to break or recess since I didn't sign it.. The interim principal says I didn't get the message that you saw it until later so we punished him for not taking it home...


I ripped into her... (sad to say, but true). Its not my fault that she decided not to check her messages.. and I also told her that she should not have made the call to pull my son out of valuable learning time, so he could say "mom, sign the paper".. Couldn't the interim principal do that, and not pull my sun out of class?

I said I didn't appreciate that my son got pulled out of learning time to be used as a pawn!

Anyway, I'm angry!

I signed the paper, and told them that I didn't appreciate the way they treated my son and ourselves in this matter.

 

[JerseyJanice]

All I can say is that I hope you're planning on sending your son to school in your new neighborhood.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I'd be upset with my son for failing to be responsible for his paperwork. I think it's wrong to blame the school in this situation.

JMHO.

 

[Cindy B]

Yes, I am Janice.. Yes, I am..


This is the part that bugs me about this... that the current district I am in.. is supposedly the top in the state and 3rd in the country..

I even said to this woman... my expectations of Radnor Township schools were not THIS, you don't treat students this way!

 

[Doctor P]

Sorry, but I have to take the school's side on this one. You may be the one who owes your son an apology, IMHO, for not signing and returning the form. And your son should be punished by you for not giving you the first list. I understand your frustration, and I can't say I wouldn't feel the same way in your circumstances, but with the benefits of not being emotionally involved in the situation I think I see things differently. Please understand that I am not trying to be cruel, and I do certainly hope that things work out for you.

 

[Cindy B]

I have to admit the first one was lost.. but I didn't know when it was starting... I was told mid november, but that didn't happen..

The checklist didn't start until the LAST week in November, not the middle, so I wasn't expecting it... (two weeks without it happening and no explanation, and no notice, saying we are starting it this week,etc... )


Also the holdiay weekend was in there, so it was the week of November 25th to December 2nd.

I didn't find the paper until this past friday the 6th..

 

[Cindy B]

So I didn't find the first paper until the 6th, got another set of it along with the other week on the 9th (Monday), and the same thing on Tuesday, even AFTER I told them I received it and hadn't had a chance to review it...


Yes, the first week paper was a problem, and I admitted that.. but do you think he should have been pulled out of class?

Thats the thing that really bugs me. Usually all papers that need to be returned or forgotten, can do with a phone call. (Many parents do that..and its never been a problem)... why is this an exception? Why wasn't the phone call saying I got haven't had a chance to look at it and talk to him acceptable? Any other time it was..

I expected an apology regarding the rash, quick to judge punishment, when in fact I did call to say I received it. They punished him because they thought he wasn't given them to me.. he was..

 

[Toby'sFriend]

No I wouldn't be mad at the school. It sounds like they are trying really hard to open lines of communication regarding behavioral issues.

I doubt if the 10 minutes out of the classroom damaged the learning process significantly.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would say that you have alot on your plate right now, errors were on everyones part. Forgive and do better.

BTW That is what I say to myself when FUBAR occurs.

 

[RitaZ.]

Cindy~ Is Josh in 1st or 2nd grade?

 

[Cindy B]

Actually it was 50 minutes... for nothing he did.. 35 minute recess, and 15 minute break.. for nothing he did..

I am the one who dropped the ball.. and I admitted it. I am the one as soon as I got the phone call, said yes, I received, I'm sorry, I didn't get a chance to look at it, etc... etc...


I felt that pulling him out of class, was inappropriate, and punishing him twice was wrong as well... (this was AFTER I left the phone message as well, which should have been good enough!)

I want an apology from the school regarding this.

 

[Cindy B]

2nd grade...

 

[phamton]

My elementary school doesn't have recess but if a note isn't returned the child is told to return the note tomorrow or he will be kept in during P.E. (45 minutes). No excuses. Although you weren't aware of the first note and didn't sign the other notes, I assume that your son was aware and it was his responsibility to make sure it got back to school. If it was sent home on Monday and not returned on Wednesday (when you were called), then it sounds that it was already a day late in being returned. Your son would've been kept in at my school also. If it was your fault, then you may owe your son an apology but I don't feel the school owes you an apology. I don't feel that missing recess and a break is that traumatic for a child. It seems that the saying "Mountain/molehill" comes to mind. Granted, I don't know all the "past history" you have had with the school and/or teacher so I am basing my opinion on this post only.

Bev

 

[RitaZ.]

We had problems with our DS's previous school, they were so petty at times... Even though it annoyed me, I tried to ignore it. I really stood firm on the bigger issues though, the school/teachers knew that. I remember the time that my son had a time-out because he didn't put the caps back on his markers (I bought them), then the time that he went ahead and pre-numbered (1,2,3,) a math test..... The teacher would send home notes detailing these infractions..... It was ridiculous, but I didn't let DS know that I felt this way. In those instances, I told DS that the teachers had rules and he had to follow them.

Even though the punishment may seem excessive, it could be a learning experience for your DS. I know it's hard for little ones, but beginning second grade there is a big shift in how the students are expected to perform and behave (it's not as nurturing as K and 1st grades). They are trying to teach them responsibility and organizational skills. It may be a good idea to sit down with your son and discuss what happened. Tell him that he needs to bring home all papers and remind you when they need to be signed. He'll get in time.

I will give you my honest opinion based on my own personal experiences with the public school. You don't want to lose credibility with the school, save your "ammunition" for the "bigger battles" (ie. bullying issues, controlling teacher, etc.). This is not a flame, just passing on what I have learned from dealing with the school.

 

[jx3smom]

I honestly think that the school is doing their part and it really is not their fault that you did not have time to look at it. The teacher took the time to make it out and it is up to you to make the time to look at it. I am very sure the teachers are busy too.

 

[disykat]

I don't think I would blame the school, although I understand your irritation. I'd be probably be irritated at myself, my child, and the school in that order. It is the school's job to hold students accountable. I expect my 2nd grader to be held accountable.

 

[Cindy B]

We also have bullying issues, and controlling teacher as well. Same class! In fact, I have had ongoinf discussions with the principal, guidance counselor, and other dept. heads on this very teacher/class.


I've been told that 2nd grade is different, and definetely not as nurturing. My sons teacher is a very direct, very succint teacher.

He does not come across as a nice guy, in fact my son was scared of him for a long time...

 

[annemariec]

Hi Cindy B.,

I'd be pretty irritated by the whole mess. Yes, you do have a small part in the mess, but IMO it started with the teacher.

I think it's key that the papers weren't sent when they were supposed to be sent. The teacher dropped the ball. (not a flame at teachers) If it's soooo important to sign the papers, why one week and not the others that were never sent??? Yes. I'd feel jerked around. I'd be mad.

The account you gave of the principal getting your son on the phone telling you to, "Bring the papers.", sounds like something from a bad movie. What adult does that? Just say what needs to be said, don't involve the child. What kind of message is that to your child? Your child gives you a directive for the principal? Bizzare.

I stated those things to let you know *I* think you have a right to be angry. But there are other things to take into account. Aren't you moving on the 18th or there abouts? I'd consider letting it go with a big "but". Let them know you do think it's important to have the signed papers. You would like to have the first two weeks papers that were missing. And see what answer you get.

(* edited to add- I meant to add, maybe they will see the double standard they are operating under. They are holding you and your son accountable for the agreement, but not the teacher. )

And then kill them with kindness.

I would do this so you can work with them. You'll need to know what kind of "plan" and/or documentation they are sending to the new school your son will attending. It is your right as a parent to view the records and I would ask to do just that before leaving. If there is something in the records that is incorrect you can have it changed.

Good luck,
Annemarie

 

[Cindy B]

I did sign all the papers today.. and sent them all in.. annmarie, good point about the "double standard".

I just thought the principal pulling my son out of class, and having them tell him (my son), to say "Bring the papers in" sound very immature... my DH was livid when he heard the phone message...

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

if you complain to the school about this, what does it teach your son about personal responsibility.

he never gave the paper to you to sign. so he bore the consequences. end of story.