parents, what would you do!

[2sweetangels]

yes, the more you post...t6he more I believe you should not leave your kids with their grandmother. let her come to your house to visit.

and document everything. if this type if behavior get sworse, you may want to cut ties...




I don't want to frighten you, but you might want to look into your states laws on grandparents rights

it don't frighten me as they already tried to use grandparent has rights against us. They even went to the police about grandparent rights and learned that they can't do anything unless DH dies or divorces me,.

 

[ticktock]

2sweeetangels Please just ignore my nosey self if this is too personal, but I have to ask, what exactly did your sil tell the state officials you were doing that was wrong? There is NO WAY I would let my new born baby out of my sight let alone taken away for the weekend by my mil!!! IM(not so humble)O that is an insane request! Is this what she complained about to the state?!? Or did she make something up?

I am so sorry you are going through this. Good luck.

 

[2sweetangels]

First of all (((hugs)))) to you!

I'd recommend that you write down all of the happenings with your siil and mil in case you ever need it. Also, don't be afraid to do whatever you and dh feel is best...regarless of how the rest of his family feels about it.

I wish you all the best!

LOL well DH's brother is in prison with a 30 year sentence and his other sister is in the military and lives in Alabama away from her crazy family, those are the only other people in DH's family. Sometimes I wonder how I married a wonderful man who came from a messed up family.

 

[Mskanga]

holly crap , and I thought my inlaws were nuts.....yours win hands down!
I would stay away from them completely , and you are lucky your husband supports this.

 

[tiggersmom2]

it don't frighten me as they already tried to use grandparent has rights against us. They even went to the police about grandparent rights and learned that they can't do anything unless DH dies or divorces me,.

OMG!!! Please don't let these evil people near your girls. I foresee so much heartbreak if you don't nip this in the bud NOW. Seriously, you need to move away.

 

[MorganLeFey]

no, allie, not insane...just overreaching. they think that their rights should supercede the parents; rights.

the US Supreme court ruled that parnets have a fundamental right to raise their children...but...

the right of grandparents to court-ordered visitation with their grnadchildren over the objections of the child's parents is a serious legal matter.


I found a four year old case out of Illinois that held the Illinois statute granting visitation rights to grandparents to be unconstitutional. http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3898/is_200208/ai_n9117325

I don't know if the law has been changed since that decision.

but other states have ruled that grandparents do have rights.

and i should point out -- most of the time, if the parents are found to be unfit and the children are removed from the parents' custody, most family courts and child protective service agencies would want to place the children with a relative if possible.

and I found many weistes dealing with grandparents' rights and pactical guides for grandparents to enforce their rights.

 

[2sweetangels]

Move far far away.

about a year ago we have though really hard about moving out of state and the only thing that held me back was my mom. I have my mom's firist and only grandchildren right now none of my other 4 siblings has kids and the way I saw my moms eyes light up when she saw both her granddaughter's born made me realize that we cannot move out of state and take these wonderful little girl's away from the good grandma, it will just tear her up.

 

[diznygirl]

Florida is a nice place......

.... and the good grandma can come with you!!!


We left the crazies back in CA - they aren't in the same league as your in-laws - but life is nice.

 

[Aidensmom]

I would be documenting any kinds of demands or threats the inlaws made, and they definitely would not be seeing my children.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

 

[2sweetangels]

2sweeetangels Please just ignore my nosey self if this is too personal, but I have to ask, what exactly did your sil tell the state officials you were doing that was wrong? There is NO WAY I would let my new born baby out of my sight let alone taken away for the weekend by my mil!!! IM(not so humble)O that is an insane request! Is this what she complained about to the state?!? Or did she make something up?

I am so sorry you are going through this. Good luck.

well she told us that she called the state for severel reasons, we wouldn't let MIL take the girl's when she wanted, she told DH if he didn't leave me the one time we got into a fight she was gonna call, if I told her to back off again she was gonna call, but what she told the state is that I beat and neglect my girl's and had a piece of my brain removed, that is what the state investigator told me.

 

[2sweetangels]

Florida is a nice place......

.... and the good grandma can come with you!!!


We left the crazies back in CA - they aren't in the same league as your in-laws - but life is nice.

Hey thats a thought since my mom loves to go to WDW 2 times a year, LOL

 

[The Mystery Machine]

about a year ago we have though really hard about moving out of state and the only thing that held me back was my mom. I have my mom's firist and only grandchildren right now none of my other 4 siblings has kids and the way I saw my moms eyes light up when she saw both her granddaughter's born made me realize that we cannot move out of state and take these wonderful little girl's away from the good grandma, it will just tear her up.

Well maybe you need to rethink this. It is clear that staying here is more harm than good.
Need to put your family's needs above your mother's. That is what it means to grow up.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Well maybe you need to rethink this. It is clear that staying here is more harm than good.
Need to put your family's needs above your mother's. That is what it means to grow up.

I so agree with this.

 

[2sweetangels]

Well maybe you need to rethink this. It is clear that staying here is more harm than good.
Need to put your family's needs above your mother's. That is what it means to grow up.

that is true, I don't trust my In-laws not one bit, I told DH that DD's can't go there anymore because Im afraid id my 2 year old falls and gets a bruise that SIL will take that as an opportunity to call the state on us again. I made the stupid mistake of letting DD back over to my MIL's house thinking everything would be fine now, boy was I wrong

 

[slo]

Hi Amy!!!

I can't believe your SIL would do such a terrible thing I would tell your MIL that if she wants to see the girls, then she needs to come to your house or meet you in a public place. I'm so glad your DH agrees with you on this - that's makes for a strong marriage!!! I hope this all works out for you - many many hugs to you!!!!

 

[BuzzPrincessMom]

I am so sorry. Sometimes inlaws feel they know more than anyone else don't they. To me it is strange a grandma would want to "take" here grandchild for a whole weekend when they are 2 weeks old. This may sound awful, and I apologize - but why - do they want to "play" house why are they so intent on their rights...are there other grandchildren that they are being denied visitation for. No need to answer, just trying to figure these people out.

I would make visitation only at your home, or supervised by you or DH.
I would DOCUMENT in as much detail everything, and possibly even keep journals of all contact. So if need be you can prove a pattern.
I would make sure you and DH have a will stating your wishes. Maybe even find out if DH can state in his will if grandma and SIL should have visitation after his death.

Give those beautiful girls a hug, I am so sorry - children/grandchildren are suppose to bring joy to a family not stress.

 

[Nite0wl71]

no, allie, not insane...just overreaching. they think that their rights should supercede the parents; rights.

the US Supreme court ruled that parnets have a fundamental right to raise their children...but...

the right of grandparents to court-ordered visitation with their grnadchildren over the objections of the child's parents is a serious legal matter.


I found a four year old case out of Illinois that held the Illinois statute granting visitation rights to grandparents to be unconstitutional. http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3898/is_200208/ai_n9117325

I don't know if the law has been changed since that decision.

but other states have ruled that grandparents do have rights.

and i should point out -- most of the time, if the parents are found to be unfit and the children are removed from the parents' custody, most family courts and child protective service agencies would want to place the children with a relative if possible.
and I found many weistes dealing with grandparents' rights and pactical guides for grandparents to enforce their rights.

Then I would step in and take them before her MIL.

 

[MorganLeFey]

Then I would step in and take them before her MIL.

good thought, but very likely wouldn't happen.


I also suggest the OP and her DH draft a will designating a guardian should the parents both die and spell out why MIL and SIL were not chosen. just in case.

 

[Nite0wl71]

I try to get along with everyone, but her MIL is crazy. She wouldn't come to Katelyn's Christening becuse Amy's family was going to be there and she couldn't have Katelyn all to herself.

As for her SIL, she has one son and wants a little girl, Hayley looks just like her daddy. By the way they won't keep Hayley because she cries when she is not with Amy, and I mean for hours. I haven't even had Hayley for the night yet.

 

[Nite0wl71]

good thought, but very likely wouldn't happen.


I also suggest the OP and her DH draft a will designating a guardian should the parents both die and spell out why MIL and SIL were not chosen. just in case.

I am the good gramma