parents, what would you do!

[2sweetangels]

ok about 2 months ago my SIL called the state on me telling them that I abuse and neglect my DD's and that I had a piece of my brain removed as a child. First I want to clear up the brain part, I had a brain tumor when I was a child and had 3 operations from it, I never had a piece of my brain removed, it was the tumor that was removed and she knew that. SIL said she was trying to teach DH and I a lesson when she called. Anyhow DH and I told her and everyone else that SIL was not to come anywhere near our DD's ever again or I would slap a restraining order down on her. Well come to find out MIL wanted to take my 2 year old every Tuesday of everyweek and I let her thinking she was trying to help me out since DH works over the road, but today I found out that SIL has been going to her mother's house when MIL had my DD to see her. They are walking all over my demands as a parent and looking at it like it is no big deal that SIL tried to have my DD's taken from me and telling the state nasty lies about me. They look at it like some big joke. DH and I are dead serious about SIL not being able to see our DD's. We feel she lost all privliges of being an aunt when she picked up the phone the day she called the state.
Well now I am not sure what to do or think since Im looked at as a joke with the in-laws.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Wow.
I wouldn't let the DDs go over to MILs house unsupervised anymore if your nasty SIL is going to come over. I would make MIL (or any other relative for that matter) come to YOUR house from now on.

Just my 0.02

TOV

 

[twoprincesses]

OMG that is horrible! What kind of awful person would do a thing like that? Teach you a lesson? The only lesson taught was that she possibly has a part of HER brain missing. Also, if my MIL allowed my SIL to see my DDs without my consent after her unappropriate actions then she wouldn't be seeing them either. I can only imagine the struggle your going through but I wish you the best.

 

[PaulaSue]

UGH...some people

 

[MAKmom]

What lesson was SIl teaching you? Sounds very strange to me.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What would I do? Probably MOVE very far away and cut off all contact. Seriously we would do this.

Being around sick people makes your family sick.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

I've been through this type of family fight before. My SIL told family members that she wasn't going to let my brother see me because she thought I had an "unnatural attraction" to him.

Trouble ensued. A 5-year battle got pretty ugly at times...and now my daughters barely know their uncle and cousins.

If your SIL doesn't have any notion of the type of pain she's brought to your family, then it's better you don't see her. Your MIL must agree with her on some level or she wouldn't be doing this behind your back.

Honestly. Sometimes we do things because we love our families, and if her motions were well-intentioned (although misplaced), forgive them the one incident. But warn them that there will NEVER be a second one if they want to be a part of your life.

Then you have to not let the incident rule your lives together. It's HUGE, and you will be rewarded one day.

 

[epcotfan]

Sounds like your SIL is missing part of her brain. What lesson was she trying to "teach" exactly? I'd do what the other posters said and only allow visitation within your own home.

 

[tiggersmom2]

DO NOT let your in-laws NEAR your children! Oh and move far, far, far away. Just reading your post burns my butt up!!

Good luck sweetie, you are going to need it.

 

[Missy1961]

I'd move.

 

[Beth76]

Wow I can't even fathom that. I tell you what I would do. I wouldn't let my children anywhere near the SIL or the grandparents. Bye-bye, have a nice life. I might go ahead and get the restraining order for all of them too. That's unbelievable.

 

[MorganLeFey]

I am also curious about what your SIL was trying to "teach" you, but what she did crossed the boundaries. it's no joke, and anyone who thinks it is should not be allowed unsupervised access to your kids.

I am glad your dh agrees with you about his sister. the two of you need to stand firm.

in your shoes I'd want to cut MIL out of my kids' life as well if she won't respect your wishes. but since you don't want to do that, you should insist that MIL come to your house to see the kids.

 

[Disney Doll]

I wouldn't allow my children to be with any of my in-laws unless I was there, and I'd keep her away from SIL completely.

And when they asked why, I'd tell them.

Make sure DH will back you on this.

And, if DH doesn't have a problem with it, I'd probably cut back contact with them severely....bare minimum contact. But make sure DH will be OK with that...it's his family.

 

[dizneegirls]

I'VE KNOWN PEOPLE LIKE THAT BEFORE, THEY JUST TRY TO CAUSE TROUBLE LIKE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO. MY PROBLEMS WERE ACTUALLY ON MY OWN SIDE OF THE FAMILY BUT I PRETTY MUCH CUT TIES-THEY ARE ONLY AROUND MY CHILD WHEN I'M THERE TOO. ANYWAY, IT ALL COMES BACK TO THEM AND IN THE END THEY ARE THE ONES LOOKING IGNORANT. PRAY FOR THEM, THAT'S WHAT THEY NEED-GUESS WE ALL DO

 

[2sweetangels]

DH and I just had a talk and he said that if his mother can't respect his wishes then our DD's won't go there anymore. There is so much to the story, there has been a war going on for 28 monthsnow between us, ever since DD #1 was born 28 months ago. It started off with MIL and me when she wanted to take my DD every weekend when DD #1 turned 2 weeks old and I kept saying NO, my 1st baby and I didn't want to be away from her and MIL and SIL couldn't understand that and they both threatend to call the state on us back then if we didn't allow MIL to take DD. SIL has slapped me and cursed my DD's name in front of DH and I and we have let all that go DH and I let them push us and push us untill the day SIL decided to actually call the state on us. The lesson she thought she was teaching us as she says was " we won't keep making threats " supposly since we still were not letting them do what they want with our DD's they decided to go through with the state to try to get some kind of right's to our girl's.

 

[MorganLeFey]

yes, the more you post...t6he more I believe you should not leave your kids with their grandmother. let her come to your house to visit.

and document everything. if this type if behavior get sworse, you may want to cut ties...




I don't want to frighten you, but you might want to look into your states laws on grandparents rights

 

[MagicalMom]

I agree with the others. I would move as soon as possible.

 

[alliecats]

Rights to YOUR girls? What rock did they come out from under? Just being honest, your MIL and SIL sound like they are INSANE.

 

[smilingmouse]

First of all (((hugs)))) to you!

I'd recommend that you write down all of the happenings with your siil and mil in case you ever need it. Also, don't be afraid to do whatever you and dh feel is best...regarless of how the rest of his family feels about it.

I wish you all the best!

 

[MAKmom]

Move far far away.