Parents, Stop Giving In To 'Picky Eaters'!

[Wishing on a star]

I just noticed this posters post-count...

IGNORE THE TROLL!!!!!

IGNORE THE TROLL!!!!!

Mods???????

 

[lizandjason]

To everyone on this thread...I just sent this to the Moderators. I hope it brings about some peace.

"Hi there. The thread I started (quite stupidly, I might add), "Parents, Stop Giving Into Picky Eaters', has gotten out of control.

I'll take the blame. Things started to get snarky and I have posted some things that are not very nice. I'd like to request a removal of the thread please, and please accept my apologies. I'm rather ashamed that I allowed myself to get so defensive.

Thank you!"

 

[lillygator]

I just noticed this posters post-count...

IGNORE THE TROLL!!!!!

IGNORE THE TROLL!!!!!

Mods???????

actually this poster posted on a thread last year on the very subject that was closed......

 

[ilovejack02]

Kinda with the OP in this one.

Come on folks, you don't have to have children to know that parents shouldn't just let their kids eat hot dogs and pizza. We all know that !


YES we all know there are exceptions to the rule .. allergies , oral issues, blah blah blah.

She isn't talking that, she is just talking about parents who are too lazy and give into their child's every whim.


And YES there are folks on the Dis boards that seem like they are still in jr high at times.

BTW, before ya'll ask , I am a mom and yes my son would just ravioli and lunchables everyday if I let him and has tried to pull that with me... doesn't fly in my house. Im not gonna fight a kid to eat, but he isn't going to eat just junk.

My oldest refused to onions , my MIL would strain his soup, once I caught her, I told her NO MORE, if kid wants to be picky, ok, but we aren't going to encourage it.

Ya gotta pick out your own onions lol. It got old and he gave up.

 

[Missy1961]

Thank you, dear. I guess some people never mentally leave junior high. Then then they have to go and BREED nasty little clones of themselves. It reminds me of the saying, 'hey you! Out of the gene pool!

 

[scojos]

before this thread does get closed, could someone please explain to me the troll comments??
thanks
tracy

 

[jamimb]

Have to come to the defense of the OP! I agree with her 100% and then some! She may have gotten a tad snarky(IMO only after others were snarky 1st) but you don't have to be a parent to know that giving Precious Johnny what ever he wants simply because he refuses to eat anything else is wrong. Common sense is not exclusive to parents only!!!!

 

[lizandjason]

I truly regret this statement. To anyone it offended, please accept my sincerest apologies. It was typed in anger and I regretted it as soon as I sent it.

I always wanted to keep this thread respectful; in fact, I pleaded for it several times in the beginning. But I understand that people take great offense to this topic.

No, I'm not a troll. Calling someone a troll is an easy way to dismiss their opinion's that you don't agree with. But I did post a comment that was very unkind and I do wish I could take it back.

I wish all of you nothing but the best.

 

[Lucky Bug]

http://www.cpnonline.org/CRS/CRS/pa_pickyeat_hhg.htm

Picky Eaters

What is a picky eater?
The peak time for picky eating is the toddler or preschool years. A picky eater:

•may complain or whine about what is served
•refuses certain foods, especially vegetables and meats
•pushes foods around the plate
•hides foods or gives them to a pet under the table
•eats enough total foods and calories per day for normal growth.
What causes it?
Children of all ages (and adults) commonly have a few food dislikes. A picky eater is a child with many food dislikes. At age 2 or 3, up to 20 percent of children are picky eaters. It is normal for most young children to dislike foods with a bitter or spicy taste. Sometimes children dislike foods because of their color, but more often it's because they are difficult to chew. Children accept tender meats better than tough ones, and well-cooked vegetables better than raw. Occasionally a child who gags on large pieces of all foods has large tonsils that make it difficult to swallow.

How long does it last?
Most children who are picky eaters will grow out of it. They start trying new foods during the early school years because of peer pressure. The voracious appetite during the teen years also increases the willingness to experiment. If you try to force your child to eat a food he doesn't like, he may gag or even vomit. Forced feedings always interfere with the normal pleasure of eating and eventually decreases the appetite. Learning to accept new foods should not be expected before the teenage years.

How can I help my child?
•Try to prepare a main dish that everyone likes. Try to avoid any unusual main dish that your child strongly dislikes. Some children don't like foods that are mixed together, such as casseroles. Try reintroducing such dishes when your child is older.
•Allow occasional substitutes for the main dish. If your child refuses to eat the main dish and this is an unusual request, you may allow a substitute dish. Acceptable substitutes would be breakfast cereal, yogurt, or a simple sandwich the child prepares for himself. If the only meat your child will eat is chicken, keep a supply in the refrigerator for when you need a protein source. Never become a short-order cook and prepare any extra foods for mealtime. The child should know that you expect him to learn to eat the main dish that has been prepared for the family.
•Respect any strong food dislikes. If your child has a few strong food dislikes (especially any food that makes her gag), do not serve that food to her when it's prepared as part of the family meal.
•Don't worry about vegetables, just encourage more fruits. Because vegetables tend to be hard to chew and some of them are bitter, they are commonly rejected by children and even by many adults. Keep in mind that fruits and vegetables are from the same food group. There are no essential vegetables. Vegetables can be largely replaced by fruits without any nutritional harm to your child. This is not a health issue. Don't make your child feel guilty about avoiding some vegetables.
•Don't allow complaining about food at mealtimes. Have a rule that it's okay to decline a serving of a particular food or to push it to the side of the plate. But complaining or whining about it is unacceptable. For whining about food, give 1 warning. If it happens again, send your child away from the eating area for 5 minutes. If he gets disruptive again, send your child to his room and put his food in the refrigerator. After 1 hour, he can again have his food if he requests it.
•Encourage your child to taste new foods. Many tastes are acquired. Your child may eventually learn that she likes a food she initially refuses. Research shows, it may take seeing other people eat a new food 10 times before they're even willing to taste it, and another 10 times of tasting it before they develop a liking for it. Don't try to rush this normal process of adapting to new foods. Don't talk about bites because trying to force a child to eat one bite of a food per year of age is not helpful with most picky eaters. Instead, it's better to simply serve it repeatedly, ask your child to taste it, then trust him when he says that he did.
•Avoid pressure or punishment at mealtime. Never pressure, beg, or bribe your child to eat all foods. Never punish your child for refusing to take one bite of a new food. It will only lead to liking that food less over time, gagging, or even vomiting. If your child has a stubborn, strong-willed nature, pressure around eating can progress to a power struggle which in turn prolongs the picky eating.
•Don't argue about dessert. An unnecessary area of friction for picky eaters is a rule that if you don't clean your plate, you can't have any dessert. Since desserts are not necessarily harmful, a better approach is to allow your child one small portion of desert no matter what she eats. However, there are no seconds on dessert for children who don't eat an adequate amount of the main course. Desserts don't have to be sweets, they can be nutritious desserts such as fruit.
•Don't argue about a bedtime snack. If your child complains about bedtime hunger, avoid a long discussion. Give him a small, plain snack (such as cereal) before it is time to brush his teeth.
•Don't extend mealtime. Don't keep your child sitting at the dinner table after the rest of the family is done. This will only cause your child to develop unpleasant associations with mealtime. If he suddenly wants to eat, give him 5 extra minutes.
•Keep the mealtime atmosphere pleasant. Make it an important family event. Draw your children into friendly conversation. Tell them what's happened to you today and ask about their day. Talk about fun subjects unrelated to food. Avoid making it a time for criticism or struggle over control.
•Avoid conversation about eating at any time. Don't discuss what your child eats in your child's presence. Trust your child's appetite to look after your child's caloric needs. Also don't give praise for appropriate eating. Don't give bribes or rewards for meeting your eating expectations. Children should eat to satisfy their appetite, not to please the parent. Occasionally you might praise your child for trying a new food that he does not like the taste or texture of.
•Give your child a daily vitamin-mineral supplement. If your child is not eating at least 1 serving or meat per day, give a multivitamin with iron to prevent iron deficiency anemia. Although vitamins are probably unnecessary for most of us, they are not harmful in normal amounts and may allow you to be less concerned about your child's nutrition and health.
When should I call my child's healthcare provider?
Call during office hours if:

•Your child is losing weight.
•Your child gags on or vomits certain foods.
•Your child has heartburn.
•You have other questions or concerns.
Written by B.D. Schmitt, MD, author of "Your Child's Health," Bantam Books.
Published by RelayHealth.
Last modified: 2006-03-02
Last reviewed: 2008-06-09
This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information is intended to inform and educate and is not a replacement for medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional. Pediatric Advisor 2008.3 Index
Pediatric Advisor 2008.3 Credits
© 2008 RelayHealth and/or its affiliates. All rights reserved.

http://www.cpnonline.org/CRS/CRS/pa_bappetit_hhg.htm

Appetite Slump in Toddlers

What is an appetite slump?
Between 1 and 5 years old, it is normal for a toddler's appetite to slow down. It will probably seem like your child doesn't eat enough, is never hungry, or won't eat unless you spoon-feed her yourself. As long as your child's energy level is normal and she is growing normally, your child's appetite is most likely naturally slowing down.

What is the cause?
Babies may gain 15 pounds during their first year. Between 1 and 5 years of age many children normally gain only 4 or 5 pounds each year. Children in this age range can normally go 3 or 4 months without any weight gain. Because they are not growing as fast, they need less calories and seem to have a poorer appetite (this is called physiological anorexia). How much a child chooses to eat is controlled by the appetite center in the brain. Kids eat as much as they need for growth and energy.

Many parents try to force their child to eat more than she needs to because they fear that her poor appetite might cause poor health or a nutritional deficiency. This is not true, and forced feedings actually decrease a child's appetite.

How long will the appetite slump last?
Once you allow your child to be in charge of how much she eats, the unpleasantness at mealtime and your concerns about her health should disappear in a matter of 2 to 4 weeks. Your child's appetite will improve when she becomes older and needs to eat more.

What can I do to help my child?
•Put your child in charge of how much he eats at mealtime.
Trust your child's appetite center. Children eat as much as they need. Your child's brain will make sure he eats enough calories for normal energy and growth. Serve well-balanced meals. If your child is hungry, he will eat. If he's not, he will be by the next meal. Even reminding him to eat or to eat more will work against you.

•Allow one small snack between meals.
The most common reason for some children never appearing hungry is that they have so many snacks that they never become truly hungry. Be sure your child arrives at mealtime with an empty stomach. Offer your child no more than two small snacks of nutritious food each day, and provide them only if your child requests them. Keep the size of the snack to 1/3 of what you would expect him to eat at mealtime. If your child is thirsty between meals, offer water. Limit the amount of juice your child drinks to less than 6 ounces each day. Let your child miss snacks if she chooses and then watch the appetite return. Even skipping an occasional meal is harmless.

•Never feed your child if he is capable of feeding himself.
Parents of a child with a poor appetite will tend to pick up the spoon, fill it with food, smile, and try to trick the child into taking it. Once your child is old enough to use a spoon by himself (usually 12 to 15 months), never again pick it up for him. If your child is hungry, he will feed himself. Forced feeding is the main cause of eating power struggles.

•Offer more finger foods.
Finger foods can be started at 6 to 8 months of age. Such foods allow your child to feed herself at least some of the time, even if she is not yet able to use a spoon.

•Limit milk to less than 16 ounces each day.
Milk contains as many calories as most solid foods. Drinking too much milk or juice can fill kids up and dull their appetites.

•Serve small portions of food--less than you think your child will eat.
A child's appetite is decreased if she is served more food than she could possibly eat. If you serve your child a small amount on a large plate, she is more likely to finish it and gain a sense of accomplishment. If your child seems to want more, wait for her to ask for it. Avoid serving your child any foods that she strongly dislikes (such as some vegetables).

•Consider giving your child daily vitamins.
Although vitamins are probably unnecessary, they are not harmful in normal dosages and may help you relax about your child's eating patterns.

•Make mealtimes pleasant.
Draw your children into mealtime conversation. Avoid making mealtimes a time for criticism or struggle over control.

•Avoid conversation about eating.
Don't discuss how little your child eats in her presence. Trust your child's appetite center to look after her food needs. Also, don't praise your child for eating a lot. Children should eat to please themselves.

•Don't extend mealtime.
Don't make your child sit at the dinner table after the rest of the family is through eating. This will only cause your child to develop unpleasant feelings about mealtime.

•Common mistakes.
Parents who are worried that their child isn't eating enough may start some irrational patterns of feeding. Some awaken the child at night to feed her. Some offer the child snacks at 15-to 20-minute intervals throughout the day. Others permit snacks that are larger than a regular meal. Some try to make the child feel guilty by talking about other children in the world who are starving. Others threaten, "If you don't eat what I cook, it means you don't love me." Some parents force their child to sit in the high chair for long periods of time after the meal has ended. The most common mistake is picking up a child's spoon or fork and trying various ways to get food into her mouth.

How do I prevent feeding struggles?
The main way to prevent feeding struggles is to teach your child how to feed herself at as early an age as possible. By the time your child is 6 to 8 months old, start giving her finger foods. By 12 months of age, your child will begin to use a spoon and she should be able to feed herself completely by 15 months of age.

When you feed your child (before she is old enough to feed herself), you can wait for your infant to show you when she is ready to eat (by leaning forward, for example). Let her pace the feeding herself (for example, by turning her head). Do not put food into a child's mouth just because she has inadvertently opened it. Do not insist that your child empty the bottle, finish a jar of baby food, or clean the plate.

When should I call my child's healthcare provider?
Call during office hours if:

•Your child is losing weight.
•Your child has not gained any weight in 6 months.
•Your child also has symptoms of illness (for example, diarrhea or fever).
•Your child gags on or vomits some foods.
•Someone is punishing your child for not eating.
•Following these guidelines has not improved mealtimes in your house within 1 month.
•You have other questions or concerns.
Written by B.D. Schmitt, MD, author of "Your Child's Health," Bantam Books.
Published by RelayHealth.
Last modified: 2007-03-22
Last reviewed: 2008-06-09
This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information is intended to inform and educate and is not a replacement for medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional. Pediatric Advisor 2008.3 Index
Pediatric Advisor 2008.3 Credits
© 2008 RelayHealth and/or its affiliates. All rights reserved.

 

[lizandjason]

Thank you, dear. I guess some people never mentally leave junior high. Then then they have to go and BREED nasty little clones of themselves. It reminds me of the saying, 'hey you! Out of the gene pool!

And because I'm having obvious difficulty with quotations (sorry about that, too!) this is what I originally wrote. Awful, despicable, and NOT very Disney-like.
But......that being said....it doesn't excuse all of you who have been so mean. I would have liked to tell you that you make excellent points, but...I just couldn't give you any credence because of the disrespect you showed me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I haven't read the entire thread, but had to agree with this post wholeheartedly. Are my kids picky eaters? Sure - not the worst, but they are picky. Does that mean they eat junk all the time? Absolutely not. My oldest (7) doesn't like much meat - yes, she'll eat nuggets, hot dogs, etc, like all kids, but she doesn't like "real" meat very much. However, I don't "cater" to her by making nuggets and hot dogs all the time. I have figured out which types of meat she does like - like teriyaki chicken & BBQ chicken. Even those can be a challenge some days. Whatever I make she has to try, but if she tries it and doesn't like it I will sometimes let her have something else - usually a peanut butter sandwich.

My kids both eat fruits & vegetables, yogurt, and other healthy snacks. We seldom have chips in the house, and I only buy soda if we are having a guests over for a party. The only juice I buy is 100% juice - no Kool Aid here. I do let them get soda as a treat when we go out to dinner.

So the PP is absolutely correct that allowing your child to be somewhat picky does not necessarily mean eating unhealthy foods.

Hint - chicken sate! Basically, chicken on a stick - works for beef, too. My non-eaters learned to like meat this way. We were at a carnival, and my picky dd asked saw asian pork on a stick, loved it, and we started making sate at home. Everything tastes better on a stick!

 

[*pixie*dust*]

I knew everything before I had kids too.

Sorry, but I didn't battle over food with my kids. I wasn't going to allow it to be a big deal in our lives. Their weight is just fine, thank you very much, and picky phases came and went.

ITA! Anyone read that thread on the things you thought before having kids? Ties in pretty well to this one.

 

[Silent1CB]

I bet many of us were raised with "eat what is on your plate or go to bed hungry". I will admit, some nights I went to bed hungry, but I'm still here to talk about it. Another rule was I at least need to try the food. Also found out later when I grew up that mom hid a lot of veggies in foods because I didn't like veggies. I found that as I grew older, I liked some foods I didn't previously eat. Even now, I still find new foods. Except I do hate that I'm 45 and my mom still tells me to at least try it. I can make that decision for myself now, and don't need her doing it. lol

I grew up back when mom's actually had to cook a meal. We didn't have fast food places anywhere near where I lived in the country. And there certainly was not go-to fast food meals in the freezer. So I either ate what she made or I wasn't getting anything else. She wasn't going to start cooking something else for a picky kid. And dad wasn't going to let her either. lol

 

[cheermom1]

Hint - chicken sate! Basically, chicken on a stick - works for beef, too. My non-eaters learned to like meat this way. We were at a carnival, and my picky dd asked saw asian pork on a stick, loved it, and we started making sate at home. Everything tastes better on a stick!

That is awesome, if we all think a little more creatively we can get our kids to eat better and lead by example. I said earlier kids take their cure from mom and dad and if mom and dad LET them eat unhealthy they will and if mom and dad HAVE them eat healthy they will. Again this is for the typical kid without allergies and sensory issues. This is somehting we need to remember you ALLOW your kids to eat unhealthy they will!!!

 

[robinb]

No thank you, I'm quite comfortable here. I'm enjoying it...most of the posters are perfectly rational human beings who don't feel the need to resort to snarkiness.
I would never imagine that there were people out there who would be so nasty...but this is a great lesson for me in examining human behavior. You have led the pack of nastiness and it is really sad to see someone so angry. I wish you all the best.

Thank you, but I am not angry .

How can you say that I "led the pack of nastiness"? I didn't even start posting until post 182. YOU are the one who has been doing all the name calling. Not me. In your very first response to me you called me nasty and hoped that my DD would not grow up to be like me. That's rational? Respectful? And I wasn't being mean or picking on you. I was telling you the truth: Before I had my DD I had A LOT of preconceived notions about what I would and would not do as a parent. I read a lot of books and watched my friends and family raise their kids and thought I knew it all ... and I was wrong. Yes, I mentioned your cats and that must have set you off ... but I really did have 2 cats (and a dog) when my DD was born.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Honestly, I don't have a dog in this fight, but the hostility and defensiveness I'm seeing from some people on this thread is pretty amazing.

The OP apologized EARLY on if her first post sounded accusatory. That is more than most people here in the Dis will do.... but no, you all just kept at it, jumping and picking and being mean for absolutely no reason.

I hope this isn't behavior all you moms are teaching your kids. No wonder the schools are full of bullies.

I also want to reply that I did receive a personal apology from the OP last night via PM. I dont' ordinarily bring PM's public--but to me it showed that she didn't intend to be mean by her original posting.

I really haven't kept up with the thread and don't really intend to return to the picky foods discussion....

I don't think the OP meant any harm.

I still stand by my opinions as she stands by hers--as we are all entitled to do.

Now off to the grocery store to find dinner for my kiddos including that picky eater who couldn't be persuaded to try a piece of cantaloupe today. (seriously--refused a cookie to avoid that cantaloupe. At least he is consistent in his beliefs that fruit is the devil.)

 

[amandaluvsgoofy]

Wow. This thread got a little out of control I think I understand most of the points that are trying to be made but I really appreciate those who discussed cooking and getting their kids involved! I have a little one and totally plan on getting her in the kitchen with me! I think that will help the picky tendencies that are prone to develop among young kids. My parents were never ones to make an additional dinner for my brother or I, but "healthy" options weren't always on the menu. I admit to being a fairly picky eater when I was younger but then somehow managed to discover my love of food (thank you Food Network). I think if people paid more attention to how food was prepared and did it themselves, they might enjoy eating a variety a little more.

 

[scojos]

Now off to the grocery store to find dinner for my kiddos including that picky eater who couldn't be persuaded to try a piece of cantaloupe today. (seriously--refused a cookie to avoid that cantaloupe. At least he is consistent in his beliefs that fruit is the devil.)

2 suggestions - 1 blend it, make smoothies
2. make a chocolate fondue and dip fruit in it.
not the best ways to eat fruit, but baby steps
goodluck

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thank you, dear. I guess some people never mentally leave junior high. Then then they have to go and BREED nasty little clones of themselves. It reminds me of the saying, 'hey you! Out of the gene pool!

Comments like that only breed ill will in other people.

It doesn't bring out the hospitality in most people and will incite issues that are worse than the original topic at hand.

It's actually pretty mean.

 

[scojos]

Wow. This thread got a little out of control I think I understand most of the points that are trying to be made but I really appreciate those who discussed cooking and getting their kids involved! I have a little one and totally plan on getting her in the kitchen with me! I think that will help the picky tendencies that are prone to develop among young kids. My parents were never ones to make an additional dinner for my brother or I, but "healthy" options weren't always on the menu. I admit to being a fairly picky eater when I was younger but then somehow managed to discover my love of food (thank you Food Network). I think if people paid more attention to how food was prepared and did it themselves, they might enjoy eating a variety a little more.

excellent attitude, hope your daughter develops your love of food.