Parents of Twins?

[bekkiz]

For me, 4-6 months was REALLY tough, because I made myself crazy about napping or their lack their of. My guess is you wont have that issue, since you have other children and know that there's little you can do to actually make them sleep

It is really fun right no (almost 21 months), so active and talking. But, yes, I agree, two at once is well worth the craziness.

Also, I just read this book that I found wonderful, One and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and What I've Learned About Everyone's Struggle to Be Singular by Abigail Pogrebin. It was really interesting to see all of these facets of "twinships" that I had never thought of before. I really recommend it.

 

[Glynis]

Keep in mind that a big part of THEIR identity is that they ARE twins. In talking with older twins they could never figure out why people were so adamant about not calling them twins--they ARE twins. Our twins are 15 and they love that they are twins and being called "the twins" has special meaning for them. We certainly call them by their names most of the time but they still get referred to as "the twins" quite often. It is a special bond that a single child can never really understand.

I totally agree with this! My girls love being twins! They even developed their own "language" before they learned to speak English. They would talk for hours with each other. That language lasted clear to kindergarten.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I have boy/girl twins that are 12. Hard to believe how fast the time goes, it seems like they were babies not too long ago!

Enjoy this wonderful time with them, and be sure to take tons of pictures and video!

 

[stm61]

My dd's first 6 months are a total blur. They double-teamed me all night long, refused to wake up for feedings at the same time, so I averaged about 2 hours sleep a night. We never refer to our girls as "the twins". Other family members do, we don't. Part of it is because I wanted them to be seen as individuals, not a package or set, and part is because they're really not twins, they're surviving triplets. They're 11 now and they really don't like being referred to as the "the twins". They're fraternal, one is 3 inches taller, they have different color eyes and different builds. The bus driver never even realized they were twins! Now they have days when they're best friends and days when they hate each other. The fighting days are increasing with the hormones lol. They are my oldest girls and I figure if I can survive them, at the same time oldest ds begins driving, I can survive anything the younger ones throw at me lol.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have boy/girl twins that are 12. Hard to believe how fast the time goes, it seems like they were babies not too long ago!

Enjoy this wonderful time with them, and be sure to take tons of pictures and video!

And remember to take pictures of them as individuals. I'm not much of a picture taker, and most of the pictures of my twins is of both of them together.

 

[Snoozan]

I'm a 51 yo who's still referred to "the twins" with my Dtwin by my family! It was always "the girls" and "the twins" in my house growing up with the 4 of us girls. My Dtwin and I are identical, and still are very much alike looks wise and personality wise. I don't know how singletons think as I've always had my sister throughout most events in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way! So, being "the twins" has always been very special to me.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

It can be totally busy and crazy. But I always fealt nuts as well. i loved every single minute of when they were babies. Watching them together was a wonderful gift. Now that they are almost 10 it's a little harder to juggle as they are very differant kids but honestly thats the only part for me that was a clallenge.

 

[m!ssemmx0]

I'm a twin (we're identical), and my sister is one of my best friends; we get along really well most of the time. Up until recently, we were polar opposites. We still are for the most part, but we've found we actually have a lot in common.

 

[jimmalru80]

My twin DD's (now 20) are the apple of my eye. They always have been and always will be. Watching them grow up has been an experience I would not trade for anything. DW and I agree that if we had to do it over again, we would in a heartbeat.

 

[formill]

We have now 7 year old identical twin girls. It has been the best experience! I have no issues with people calling them "the twins".....we do it too....I don't think it makes any difference on how independent they are or will be. I asked for them to be in the same class again for next year- if they ever want to be separate I have no issue with it if the school has more than one class available for them.....but for now if they don't mind I love having them in the same class- makes homework and volunteering in their class a whole lot easier for me.

The baby/toddler times were tricky physically moving them around 2 at a time to get groceries/go to other kids sports and school activities etc.....but overall it was just so worth it!

 

[quandrea]

Just reading this old thread and wondering if I'm the only one having a hard time. I'm mum to 15 month old twins (boy, girl). I find my life is absolutely crazy. They fight constantly, and now that they are both mobile, I find my days are nuts. I can't turn my back or someone is getting themself hurt.
There are moments of lots of laughter and hugs and kisses, but much of my day is spent on high alert, with my adrenaline pumping. Most nights, once I get them off to bed at 7:30, I feel like I've been through a war.
I'm not a first time mum either. My dd is six. I too found the beginning very easy; but I anticipated that it would get more challenging. I was right. I don't regret having twins, because there is lots of fun in there too, but it is soooo hard. Am I the only one?

 

[5lilfish]

Our girls are 11 weeks old today and I'm LOVIN' having two at once! Am I nuts? Is this a honeymoon period that is going to end?

Every stage has it's ups and downs. With my twins, I found the ups have always far outweighed the downs. I have LOVED the whole twin thing. DH and I have 5 kids. Our first 3 (now 13, 12 and almost 11) were born in a 33 month period. Then we had a 7 yr gap and had our twin girls (now 3 1/2 yrs old). I found 3 kids close in age to be a lot harder than having twins. I love all the kids...raising each one has been fun and challenging. Having both singletons and the twins, there is definitely a special bond between twins. Watching them grow together and interact has been a joy for DH and I and for our older 3 kids. I didn't feel the twins were hard until recently. Even now, I wouldn't say it was hard as much as tiring. I have always found 3yrs old to be a difficult age. Right now I am kept very busy trying to keep the twins for becoming little monsters. The time-out chair is occupied on and off all day (and my girls are pretty good). It's amazing how much more 2 kids can get into and how they egg eachother on to do things that they probably wouldn't do without a buddy. Still...I wouldn't trade the twin experience for anything.

Jess

 

[5lilfish]

Just reading this old thread and wondering if I'm the only one having a hard time. I'm mum to 15 month old twins (boy, girl). I find my life is absolutely crazy. They fight constantly, and now that they are both mobile, I find my days are nuts. I can't turn my back or someone is getting themself hurt. There are moments of lots of laughter and hugs and kisses, but much of my day is spent on high alert, with my adrenaline pumping. Most nights, once I get them off to bed at 7:30, I feel like I've been through a war.
I'm not a first time mum either. My dd is six. I too found the beginning very easy; but I anticipated that it would get more challenging. I was right. I don't regret having twins, because there is lots of fun in there too, but it is soooo hard. Am I the only one?

Oh I remember that stage. For example...if you have one child you have to worry about them slamming their fingers in a drawer. With twins you have to worry about that AND them slamming their twins fingers in a drawer. OR...with one child you worry about them falling off a chair. With twins you worry about the twin pusshing the chair and knocking the other one off. It was exhausting at times and it was a full time job keeping them safe. It also passed by fairly quickly....so hang in there. Now, with 3 yr old twins, I don't worry about them getting hurt as much as I worry how much damage/mess they can cause if I turn my back for too long.

Jess

 

[PollyannaMom]

...Dh and I like to wear the babies so we are using Bjorns and hope to get some Ergo's if we can find them cheap enough (for when they get bigger)....

Not specific to twins, but when DS "graduated" from his Bjorn, I went to a hip carrier from One Step Ahead. It was very simple, lightweight, and inexpensive.

 

[5lilfish]

We have now 7 year old identical twin girls. It has been the best experience! I have no issues with people calling them "the twins".....we do it too....I don't think it makes any difference on how independent they are or will be. I asked for them to be in the same class again for next year- if they ever want to be separate I have no issue with it if the school has more than one class available for them.....but for now if they don't mind I love having them in the same class- makes homework and volunteering in their class a whole lot easier for me.

The baby/toddler times were tricky physically moving them around 2 at a time to get groceries/go to other kids sports and school activities etc.....but overall it was just so worth it!

We call our girls, "The twins" too. We also joking call our only son, "the boy," and we call our oldest 2 daughters (17 months apart), "the girls." It's just not a big deal around here. My twins (3 1/2) definitely have their own personalities and likes/dislikes. We don't dress them alike often but I also have no issue with dressing them alike when we feel like it or when they feel like it. We dressed the older 2 girls alike too...they aren't twins and we didn't do them any damage by dressing them alike. This year we let them pick their own halloween costumes and we were happy that they picked different costumes. They were sure of their decision and proud to wear what they chose. I think that shows they are developing just fine as seperate people, but if they had picked the same costume, I would not have made a big deal out of it (and I wouldn't have been worried about it either).

My girls are in the same preschool class and do fine. As close as they are to eachother, they seperate into different groups in school without a problem. I'm not sure what I will do for kindergarten yet. Thankfully I have over a year to figure that out. Part of me thinks that for the first year of real school they might be best together....and part of me understands why it might be good to seperate them.

Jess

 

[quandrea]

Every stage has it's ups and downs. With my twins, I found the ups have always far outweighed the downs. I have LOVED the whole twin thing. DH and I have 5 kids. Our first 3 (now 13, 12 and almost 11) were born in a 33 month period. Then we had a 7 yr gap and had our twin girls (now 3 1/2 yrs old). I found 3 kids close in age to be a lot harder than having twins. I love all the kids...raising each one has been fun and challenging. Having both singletons and the twins, there is definitely a special bond between twins. Watching them grow together and interact has been a joy for DH and I and for our older 3 kids. I didn't feel the twins were hard until recently. Even now, I wouldn't say it was hard as much as tiring. I have always found 3yrs old to be a difficult age. Right now I am kept very busy trying to keep the twins for becoming little monsters. The time-out chair is occupied on and off all day (and my girls are pretty good). It's amazing how much more 2 kids can get into and how they egg eachother on to do things that they probably wouldn't do without a buddy. Still...I wouldn't trade the twin experience for anything.

Jess

So perhaps I'm expecting it to be too calm. My dd daughter was very quiet, these two are more spirited. If one of your two spends time in the time out area much of the day, it puts things in perspective for me. I'll just keep at it and keep smiling. Thank you so much. You made my day.

 

[5lilfish]

So perhaps I'm expecting it to be too calm. My dd daughter was very quiet, these two are more spirited. If one of your two spends time in the time out area much of the day, it puts things in perspective for me. I'll just keep at it and keep smiling. Thank you so much. You made my day.

It's not that bad, really. As I said, my girls are pretty good. It's just the age. 3 yr olds just test boundaries and I'd really rather not have them get out of control. For example....we put the Christmas tree in the family room this year. It took 2 or 3 days of constant, "If you shake the tree and/or take an ornament off, you will get in trouble," with consistant time-outs to prove we meant it, before they understood. Now, a week after we decorated the tree, neither one of them has touched it. We all go through this...it's just a little more tiring when you have to do it with twins.

Jess

 

[quandrea]

You are spot on! Two children means twice the corrections. Even with really good babies, a parent will be correcting twice as often. Which means fatigue sometimes. I think with each stage, I have an adjustment period. You are a few years ahead of me. Any other pointers?