Parents of the Class of 2019

[mjkacmom]

Dd got into the spring musical as a featured dancer. Over 60 tried out for 40 spots. She’s so happy, she kind of assumed she’d get in (had a part as a freshman, was a dance captain last year), but wasn’t expecting such a large turnout. Winter track was plan B.

 

[Colleen27]

It's so tough to figure out what you want to do. On one hand you want to tell them they don't have to have their life figured out at 16, but on the other hand you want to visit/choose colleges that have their major, if it's not one found everywhere.

I've been telling my daughter to look at the best schools she can get into that have something related to her intended field of study, but stressing that since she'll need a graduate degree her undergrad doesn't have to be in her specific major. I'd rather she be at a good overall school, just in case she decides to change course, than at a school that has a strong program in her major but where any decision to change that major would be a set-back/require transfering/put her in a program that doesn't suit her. That was one of the reasons she ruled out TX A&M - their marine bio program is on the Galveston campus and she was warned that transitioning to the main campus is not an easy process should she decide to change directions.

 

[Colleen27]

We got DD's PSAT scores back this morning. I think she is disappointed with how she did - 1280, 60 points above last year but still well short of the 1400 she wants on the real thing - but I'm not sure because they got their scores in homeroom and she just texted me a quick screenshot. I'll be interested to hear her full reaction when she gets home. I was looking over what she missed and I definitely see some patterns that she can work on going forward to boost her math score.

She had her video interview yesterday for her Japan program application, and it went really well. We found out about a couple of scholarship options I wasn't aware of, one of them just approved last week, and that they're speeding up the scholarship timeline so instead of reimbursing families they should come in time to apply to the final payment. Since there are only 6 kids applying from our state, everyone is getting the one scholarship. Four kids will get another, but since it is based on 4H background/history and the coordinator said a couple of the kids came to the exchange without any 4H experience it is almost a sure thing for DD, who has been involved for years. And the third is from our county leader's council; I have no idea of the odds or dollar amount on that one because it is a general grant process open to any county 4Her with a unique project/opportunity that needs funding, but DD is the first one from our county to apply to the exchange program in the 15+ years our club leader has worked for the 4H extension office so she feels like she's got a good chance at getting at least a small award. So it looks like she'll be able to get enough scholarship funding to cover about a third of the cost.

 

[bjscheel]

Well my Mom had Christmas Saturday, so DD got to spend the afternoon and evening with her 6 cousins who are all either in college or paying on their loans. College was definitely discussed! I hope they made some impression on her as most of them are in significant debt. After one discussion on careers in which DD mentioned majoring in Recreation & Parks Management with a minor in Theatre, and her idea of buying an island to build a resort or possibly flipping castles, her cousins decided she should just work at WDW It checks all the boxes- recreation, theatre, resorts and castles!

DD19 brought up something I was afraid would come up. DD16's college will definitely cost more than DD19's community college, so are we going to contribute more? I don't know how to define fair. Our current deal with DD19 is I will pay any tuition that isn't covered by scholarships (maybe a couple of thousand total). She pays her rent/food/personal though I send her with food and bought a couple of her books and we pay for her car/insurance/gas. She had enough in savings to cover the rent but works enough that she rarely needs to tap savings. So do I only contribute a couple thousand a year to DD16 so it's equal? Or is it fair to just have DD16 pay her room and board because that's what DD19 does? I was thinking we would be able to contribute $5000 a year at most, which if DD16 gets free tuition she would cover about $5000/year herself which is close to what DD19 is paying for. So that could also be considered "fair" too, if the two of them to invest the same amount per school year. Or do I need to give DD19 more money in anticipation of DD16 needing more assistance than she does?

 

[soccerdad72]

I didn't even think about PSAT scores coming back - I'll have to ask my son about those. He got his first ACT score in a while ago - he scored a 25 overall (I think he was 28 in math), which isn't too bad given that he went into it completely cold. We're hoping with a review course and some work he can get it up to 29 or 30.

We figure once we get through mid-terms (early January) we will sit down and make a list of reasonable nearby schools (closer than Denver, lol) that we can start setting up visits.

Other than that, he's been busy with Robotics Club and they're completing in a regional tournament sometime in February. Still adamant that he's done with soccer for his career, so he's not playing this winter or planning on playing club soccer in the spring.

 

[Colleen27]

DD19 brought up something I was afraid would come up. DD16's college will definitely cost more than DD19's community college, so are we going to contribute more? I don't know how to define fair. Our current deal with DD19 is I will pay any tuition that isn't covered by scholarships (maybe a couple of thousand total). She pays her rent/food/personal though I send her with food and bought a couple of her books and we pay for her car/insurance/gas. She had enough in savings to cover the rent but works enough that she rarely needs to tap savings. So do I only contribute a couple thousand a year to DD16 so it's equal? Or is it fair to just have DD16 pay her room and board because that's what DD19 does? I was thinking we would be able to contribute $5000 a year at most, which if DD16 gets free tuition she would cover about $5000/year herself which is close to what DD19 is paying for. So that could also be considered "fair" too, if the two of them to invest the same amount per school year. Or do I need to give DD19 more money in anticipation of DD16 needing more assistance than she does?

We've impressed upon our kids from a very young age that "fair" is not the same as "equal". DS19 is going the community college/trade skill route. DD16 is going into a field that pretty much requires a PhD. They're both pursuing their personal passions/interests in their choice of academic program and career. "Fair" in our family is getting them both through their chosen undergrad programs without debt. DS pays for his own car/insurance, but we're covering all of his school-related costs that aren't covered by the small grant he has. That is a smaller dollar amount than we're expecting to contribute to DD's college but it gets them to the same place - an entry level credential without an anchor of debt around their necks - and that's the only fairness we're concerned with.

Have you ever seen the fair vs. equal graphic that makes the social media rounds every now and then? Three kids of different heights, trying to see over a fence at a ballgame. In the "equal" image, everyone gets one crate to stand on, even though the tallest kid doesn't need it and one isn't enough to boost the shortest kid enough to be able to see. In the "fair" image, the kid who can already see over the fence doesn't get a box, the middle-height kid gets one and can see over, and the shortest kid gets two crates so he can also see the game. That's how we try to do things, not by concentrating on who gets how much but on what each one needs to reach their goal.

 

[mjkacmom]

We got DD's PSAT scores back this morning. I think she is disappointed with how she did - 1280, 60 points above last year but still well short of the 1400 she wants on the real thing - but I'm not sure because they got their scores in homeroom and she just texted me a quick screenshot. I'll be interested to hear her full reaction when she gets home. I was looking over what she missed and I definitely see some patterns that she can work on going forward to boost her math score.

She had her video interview yesterday for her Japan program application, and it went really well. We found out about a couple of scholarship options I wasn't aware of, one of them just approved last week, and that they're speeding up the scholarship timeline so instead of reimbursing families they should come in time to apply to the final payment. Since there are only 6 kids applying from our state, everyone is getting the one scholarship. Four kids will get another, but since it is based on 4H background/history and the coordinator said a couple of the kids came to the exchange without any 4H experience it is almost a sure thing for DD, who has been involved for years. And the third is from our county leader's council; I have no idea of the odds or dollar amount on that one because it is a general grant process open to any county 4Her with a unique project/opportunity that needs funding, but DD is the first one from our county to apply to the exchange program in the 15+ years our club leader has worked for the 4H extension office so she feels like she's got a good chance at getting at least a small award. So it looks like she'll be able to get enough scholarship funding to cover about a third of the cost.

We were also disappointed, 1330, only 70 points higher than the last one, and she has a tutor! We were hoping for a 1450! Her friend got 1400 on the SAT, and dd’s ACT scores were higher, but we will see - she felt good on the PSAT’s. It’s all about the money. Good luck with the scholarship, dd has nothing in the wings.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well my Mom had Christmas Saturday, so DD got to spend the afternoon and evening with her 6 cousins who are all either in college or paying on their loans. College was definitely discussed! I hope they made some impression on her as most of them are in significant debt. After one discussion on careers in which DD mentioned majoring in Recreation & Parks Management with a minor in Theatre, and her idea of buying an island to build a resort or possibly flipping castles, her cousins decided she should just work at WDW It checks all the boxes- recreation, theatre, resorts and castles!

DD19 brought up something I was afraid would come up. DD16's college will definitely cost more than DD19's community college, so are we going to contribute more? I don't know how to define fair. Our current deal with DD19 is I will pay any tuition that isn't covered by scholarships (maybe a couple of thousand total). She pays her rent/food/personal though I send her with food and bought a couple of her books and we pay for her car/insurance/gas. She had enough in savings to cover the rent but works enough that she rarely needs to tap savings. So do I only contribute a couple thousand a year to DD16 so it's equal? Or is it fair to just have DD16 pay her room and board because that's what DD19 does? I was thinking we would be able to contribute $5000 a year at most, which if DD16 gets free tuition she would cover about $5000/year herself which is close to what DD19 is paying for. So that could also be considered "fair" too, if the two of them to invest the same amount per school year. Or do I need to give DD19 more money in anticipation of DD16 needing more assistance than she does?

All of our kids will need loans, and I can’t see any of them not going to at least a four year college (book smart, zero skills, no other option, lol). Each of them will get about $30,000, because that’s what we managed to save for the 5 of them. So, one year of in state tuition on campus.

 

[PollyannaMom]

DD16's college will definitely cost more than DD19's community college, so are we going to contribute more?

I was just typing the "Fair is not always equal" quote as well when Colleen's response popped up!

I think you have to look at your kids as individuals. You don't have to exactly match what you contribute, or what they contribute, as long as they both feel loved and helped on their way. Some majors are simply more expensive than others. What matters is that they both get the right education to do what makes them happy and secure.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Thanks for the heads-up on the PSAT scores! I'll ask DS this afternoon if his came.

 

[mjkacmom]

I didn't even think about PSAT scores coming back - I'll have to ask my son about those. He got his first ACT score in a while ago - he scored a 25 overall (I think he was 28 in math), which isn't too bad given that he went into it completely cold. We're hoping with a review course and some work he can get it up to 29 or 30.

We figure once we get through mid-terms (early January) we will sit down and make a list of reasonable nearby schools (closer than Denver, lol) that we can start setting up visits.

Other than that, he's been busy with Robotics Club and they're completing in a regional tournament sometime in February. Still adamant that he's done with soccer for his career, so he's not playing this winter or planning on playing club soccer in the spring.

Dd got a 28 in math too, her strongest subject, 34 in reading and English, her worst subjects, 29 in science, her second best subject. Hopefully she can get them up in February.

Sorry about the soccer, ds19 stopped club this year at college (to be more involved with his fraternity...). Thank goodness for ds and dd14 (DH is very into soccer, I just like to go to games and socialize). We need to start college visits, dd just needs to decide on a probable major.

 

[bjscheel]

That is a smaller dollar amount than we're expecting to contribute to DD's college but it gets them to the same place - an entry level credential without an anchor of debt around their necks - and that's the only fairness we're concerned with.

This is my goal. I would love for both of them to graduate debt-free or low debt.

I was just typing the "Fair is not always equal" quote as well when Colleen's response popped up!

I think you have to look at your kids as individuals. You don't have to exactly match what you contribute, or what they contribute, as long as they both feel loved and helped on their way. Some majors are simply more expensive than others. What matters is that they both get the right education to do what makes them happy and secure.

I have heard the phrase "fair is not equal" many times but not seen a picture like that. That's neat. If I had offered DD19 $5000/year toward a 4 year school she still would have chosen the cc. I have not told DD16 $5000/year yet. I am waiting to see where she ends up wanting to go/how the numbers shake out and just trying to steer her towards looking at the more affordable options. After ACT in February we will know if she qualifies for the full tuition scholarships (or if she needs to try again!).

 

[soccerdad72]

1310 on the PSAT - a little surprising, considering he got a 1180 last year. Also surprising in that his verbal score was slightly higher than his math score (he's a STEM kid). I think 1400 is a reasonable goal for him on the SAT - we weren't sure we were going to have him take it (and just focus on the ACT), but I think he will end up taking each one now.

 

[MerissaAndMomLoveDis]

My daughter got this message this morning:
PSAT/NMSQT
11th Grade
Fall 2017
Your Score Is Pending

Congratulations on taking the PSAT/NMSQT.

We apologize but your score is still being processed. You should get your score within a week.

If you still don't see your score after December 18:

• Contact your school counselor.
• Call the College Board's Customer Service at 866-433-7728.

Anyone else get this message that was supposed to get their score today?

 

[PollyannaMom]

Anyone else get this message that was supposed to get their score today?

DS hasn't gotten his or the message...but then again, I didn't expect them yet until people were talking about it here.

 

[MerissaAndMomLoveDis]

DS hasn't gotten his or the message...but then again, I didn't expect them yet until people were talking about it here.

Thanks. Depending on what part of the country you are in, the PSAT/NMSQT scores were supposed to be available online through the student's College Board account either yesterday, today or tomorrow. We are in Texas, so hers was supposed to come out today.

 

[laughinplace199]

DS said he's supposed to get his PSAT scores tomorrow. We are in MA.

 

[MerissaAndMomLoveDis]

We were also disappointed, 1330, only 70 points higher than the last one, and she has a tutor! We were hoping for a 1450! Her friend got 1400 on the SAT, and dd’s ACT scores were higher, but we will see - she felt good on the PSAT’s. It’s all about the money. Good luck with the scholarship, dd has nothing in the wings.

I understand how you feel. My daughter was also a little disappointed and thought she would be higher than the 1370 she received. I don't know what to say to her because she still did well, just not as well as she wanted. She is so hard on herself sometimes. The reading and writing was good, but only improved 20 points from last year on the math. She didn't have a tutor but did study a lot on her own using Khan Academy. Her schools administers the SAT at school in April, so that will be her first time to take it. Wondering if I should try to get her a tutor for the SAT or buy an online course???

 

[bjscheel]

In other news, we have a prom dress already! Promgirl had 30% off around Thanksgiving and despite our poor luck on fit with online dresses in the past, we decided to give it another try. This one fits and is so pretty! That's a relief. Around here the only place you can find dresses that aren't $400+ is Dillard's and the selection in store isn't that big. This one was under $200 with coupon.

Last night DD was doing Financial Lit at home since she was sick Wednesday and will be out again today to perform a Christmas one-act for the elementary. This was the first time I had seen any of this class since they normally do it all in school. It was about reading the fine print on credit card offers, comparing credit cards- choosing one and why, how much you pay for a laptop on your cc if you only make minimum payment, and loans. There was a scenario where a girl wanted to take a trip between finishing college and starting her job so she got a loan for $3500 at 24% interest and how much interest she would pay with different lengths of loan or extra payments. All very good things to learn. She's starting to see the importance of keeping student loans low. I know it's hard when a lot of her older friends are going to nice private schools or acting school in NYC, but I have no idea how they're doing it.

 

[mjkacmom]

I understand how you feel. My daughter was also a little disappointed and thought she would be higher than the 1370 she received. I don't know what to say to her because she still did well, just not as well as she wanted. She is so hard on herself sometimes. The reading and writing was good, but only improved 20 points from last year on the math. She didn't have a tutor but did study a lot on her own using Khan Academy. Her schools administers the SAT at school in April, so that will be her first time to take it. Wondering if I should try to get her a tutor for the SAT or buy an online course???

Hers only went up 30 points, with a tutor, but the tutor was either once a week or every other week, and focused more on English. She was hoping to get her SAT score today, but still pending.

ETA, she beat her goal, 1410, 99th% for English, 93rd% for math.