Parents of teens - their haircuts

[ckay87]

DH and I really don't care what the boys want to do with their hair. So far, it has not come up. Several of the boys at school have mohawks, and it wouldn't bother us in the least. Our feeling it that it's hair and it will grow back.

When DH and I where dating in college (back in the day), my friend cut his hair one weekend. He went from having a part in his hair to having his hair all spiked up. When he went home for the weekend, his mother saw him and started crying over his haircut (no, I'm not kidding here). His dad became very upset, they argued, and he tried to physically go after my DH (yes, tried to punch him). DH was 19 at the time and all of this was over a haircut which I felt (and still feel) was ridiculous. Talk about control issues. Thus, we've known for a long time that hair and the way it's cut and colored will be the least of our concerns with our kids.

Aw, that IS a real control issue. Let me tell you, the first time DS got a mohawk was last summer. It caused a MAAAAJOR fight with his dad and he also took some ribbing from his friends. In the heat of it all, Grammy (my mom) stops by. Keep in mind that she knew nothing about all the controversy. She walks in, sees DS and says "awww honey look at you. You look so nice that way." And she walked over and gave him a big hug and kiss. I'll never forget that. That big 14 year old boy, he BEAMED. I thought "now THAT is love." Just complete acceptance of a person. She's great - she'll never know what a difference that one little action made.

 

[sacall]

At 8

Oh, honey That choked me up a bit. Poor baby. I wish her well

Thanks. She was just diagnosed at 11, sick since she was 8 (she kept losing weight and then stopped growing).

She is doing great Her lungs are 100% and clear. Her CF problems are more digestive problems, which can be treated. That is why hair and what she does with it are the least of my worries

Thanks for the wishes..

Stacy

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Aw, that IS a real control issue. Let me tell you, the first time DS got a mohawk was last summer. It caused a MAAAAJOR fight with his dad and he also took some ribbing from his friends. In the heat of it all, Grammy (my mom) stops by. Keep in mind that she knew nothing about all the controversy. She walks in, sees DS and says "awww honey look at you. You look so nice that way." And she walked over and gave him a big hug and kiss. I'll never forget that. That big 14 year old boy, he BEAMED. I thought "now THAT is love." Just complete acceptance of a person. She's great - she'll never know what a difference that one little action made.

I loved this story..what a great lady.

 

[eh24fan]

I would love to say I'm one of the whatever you want parents, but I'm not. I really don't like long hair on boys...at all. My ex has long hair and I keep telling him I'm going to bring my scissors and cut it for him. It makes me nuts. Thank goodness DS7 wants nothing to do with that! He won't even go for the "faux hawk" that I wanted him to do. He recently got his summer cut, which means buzzed completely off. He loves it because it's so easy to wash and deal with when he's all sweaty from baseball. During the winter he just has a normal short cut.

His step-brother goes through shaggy phases all the time and it always looks so much better when he finally cuts it. One of my cousin's (he's 17) is one of the few boys that I like with the shaggy look. His hair is dark brown with natural curl to it so it just lays nicely that way.

 

[bookgirl]

Hair is just hair. My parents usually prefered mine long but at various times it's been in a pixie, shag (yes I grew up in the 70's), permed, colored, bleached, long. My parents didn't care because....hello I was a KID. If there is anytime to have fun with your hair it's when you're a kid. As soon as you hit those hiring years it's pretty much standard cuts.

My nephews are going through that shaggy look now....drives my mom crazy. My brother would prefer them to have short as well, thier Mom who has physical custody doesn't really care (she never makes them take care of it), but she refuses to have them in short cuts. I don't like hair on boys past thier shoulders and I don't like crew cuts so I'm happy with anything in between. I like it shorter during baseball and sports but my ex-sil won't let me get thier hiar cut anymore cause she said I cut it "too" short....it was just a straight "boy cut" at thier hairline.

I say let them have fun now and worry about "have to's" later.

 

[MoniqueU]

I'm pretty open minded, but I can't for the life of me understand the relevance of the length of a girls hair. I even took some time to think about this and can't wrap my mind around it. Some of the most conservative women I know have short hair. Plus, I think a little girl with shorter hair is soooo adorable. And they look so comfortable and athletic too. I can respect your opinion and it makes no difference to me. I'm just kinda baffled (coming from the mom of a son with a mohawk )

I think my husbands thing is tied to his mother. she has really short hair and it is very very not flattering. I think my husband thinks girls should look like girls and not like guys. My oldest cut her hair into a bob one time when she was about 4 and my husband flipped out. i also cut my hair above my shoulders one time to get my hair all one length. He let me know he didn't care for it much. i also have to say it didn't look that good either. i don't know what i am going to do as i age because I think long hair on older people looks a little funny. You mostly see shoulder length and shorter. Mine right now is to my bra line. BTW my husband is not controlling at all and is very laid back he just has his preferences and I can respect that and understand especially having to see his moms hair for 18 years.

 

[mamacatnv]

My personal opinion is that it is just hair and it will wash out, fade out or grow back. My DS has never gone long and shaggy but he did go thru a bleached spike phase and then we dyed the top of his hair royal blue. He loved it, I didn't care, DH was concerned This was all in middle school. He is a lifeguard at a water park in the summers and their rules are hair can be dyed but it must be of a natural color (so the blue eventually got shaved off)

My Mother always dictated the length of my hair until I was in my teens. She made me wear it pixie short, she was too lazy to take care of it. Thus, I don't dictate much. When DH starts to get wiggy over hair, I pull out his High School picture with his unruly curls to his shoulders. Nuff said!

DD has always had long hair and likes it, but it is me who maintains it. We recently chopped off 8" took it to her shoulders because it was so damaged and nasty looking. The haircut was my idea but she was in total agreement and now she loves her thick healthy hair. She saw a girl at a salon that had violet highlights. I told her we could do some in the summer.

It's just hair.


As for length = level of conservatism I don't understand.

 

[mylilnikita]

WHen my DD9 gets older if she wants to experiment with her hair, then so be it. You know I have known different people with different looks: 1 girl was goth in the 80's before there was a word for it, she had a black mohawk and a chain that when from her nose to her ear, and kind of like spider web make up, but she was one of the sweetest people I have met. Then there were the students who were "stepford children' perfect regarding looks, but they were the ones with ugly on the inside.
I can't believe people would get their knickers in a bunch for a kid wanting to figure out how to express themselves, parents need to be thankful if their kids are healthy and have "level heads and open minds. There are so many more "real issues" then hair or piercings.

 

[tar heel]

I'm another mom who isn't about to waste her parent/child controversy points on something as inconsequential as hair.

My oldest son has always had a perfectly conservative "boy" cut.

My youngest had major curls and we let it get pretty long when he was a toddler -- majorly cute. Since then, he's had a "boy" cut or had it buzzed. He's now about to turn 14, now cares about his hair style and is wearing it a little longer. My guess is that he'll get it chopped this summer b/c the natural curl makes this a lot more trouble for him than for many kids.

My middle son -- well, some of you would have a problem there. He's a college student, artist and musician and has amazing blond hair that's plenty long enough to be donated to Locks of Love. I love it. His grandparents don't, but they love him and are wise enough to recognize that hair isn't particularly important in the whole scheme of things. He's actually a little tired of caring for it but isn't ready to give up the look or the attention.

 

[sunsprinkle24]

Two of my sons have long hair - DS17's hair is down to his shoulders, DS12 is not past his neck but its still long. Doesn't bother me as long as its clean and doesn't have that greasy look. DS18 had long hair for about 2 years, then he got tired of it and now its short again.

 

[marciemi]

My oldest son has had a buzz cut all his life and if his hair gets even a little bit long, he complains about how "itchy" it is. His girlfriend loves it short, so it seems to be working for him!

Middle DS has what I call a normal boys' cut - he looks funny with the buzz cut, but hasn't found a longer style that doesn't just look shaggy. So he's the one I have to take once a month or so to the barber to keep it "neat" looking without buzzing it.

My youngest decided in 4th grade that he wanted long hair. Period. Again, like many of you, he's a great kid and it's not a battle I wanted to fight. He went through about a year of it being shaggy, but now has it long enough where it lies neatly.

The problem is that he is CONSTANTLY, ALWAYS thought to be a girl. The number of times at golf tournaments I had someone ask me how old my daughter was or tell me that the girls were supposed to be somewhere else - I can't count. On our Disney trip last summer, it was frequently "and what can I get for the young lady" at restaurants, or "move closer to your sister" when taken a photopass shot, etc. You'd think it would really bother him, but evidently it doesn't!

The main thing that bothers me is that his hair is the exact same color as mine (well, before the grey started coming in ) and I've never been able to get it to look like that. It's just so bouncy and just lays perfectly and all he does is wash and condition it and let it dry. I blow dry and curl and hairspray and it doesn't look half as nice as his (and never did even when I was young). Anyways, a pic so you can see what I mean. He's the one in the "Eric" shirt:

 

[Marla Hellwig]

My daughter has always had long hair

She wants to cut it all off - to about 2 - 3 inches all around her head

I said fine - But you have to wait until your senior pictures are taken - which will be between now and Christmas

Maybe by then, she will change her mind

For marching band, they are not allowed to have 'un natural hair color' as per the dress code and all hair has to be tucked up into their hat - she gets the giggles seeing some boys with 'high' pony tails

 

[Pigeon]

We have a no body modification until you are self-supporting rule.

But hair? They can do what they want. It grows out.

 

[hentob]

My oldest cut her hair into a bob one time when she was about 4 and my husband flipped out.

That does seem a bit controlling. Flipping out b/c his daughter has a bobbed cut

. i don't know what i am going to do as i age because I think long hair on older people looks a little funny.

Well, hopefully you will get it cut if that is what YOU want to do

BTW my husband is not controlling at all and is very laid back he just has his preferences and I can respect that and understand especially having to see his moms hair for 18 years.

It just has a teeny ick factor that a man flips out on his daughter because he didn’t like his mother’s hair What will happen when your girls are teens and want a stylish short cut? You are an adult and you don't know "what you are going to do" when you want to get your hair cut b/c your husband showed his displeasure How sad that their dad will control them because he didn't like the way his mom looked

By the way, tell him many little girls have short hair and do not look like boys

 

[java]

Hair is not my issue. My kids have all had long hair- heck even my 5 year old has long hair. My oldest 14 just got it cut recently. We had a talk about all the "events" coming up and how he wanted to look for them. But I let him decide- if he wanted to keep the fabio hair I was fine with it. He opted for a shorter style- still shaggy but above the ears- so a long short cut? does that make sense.

My 5 year old has great hair. His hair rocks long. - it's silky and he gets the flip in the back. He will want to buzz it in June though and that's fine with me too. It gets too hot in the summer.

My 3 year old hates to get a haircut but he has a face that fits short hair better. So far he's been short- but we'll see what he decides he likes.

Oh and my daughter has super long hair about to her waist. I trim it as often as I can to keep it neat.

I pick my battles and hair isn't one of mine.

 

[MomsOf2boys]

I don't really dictate how he wears his hair.

He went to his first dance (13) and he did let me cut the hair out of his eyes. He wears it kind of angled in front and we call him cyclops because we can usually only see one eye.

My freak, I mean son, has that same haircut. We call him One-eye-Jack. His name is not Jack. We kid him about it all the time. I'll say, "say that with both eyes looking this way," or "hey, can I just buy you one contact since you don't use the other eye anyway?".

He is a good kid... his hair is not a big deal...it is to him which leads me to my next point... when he got an F in a class, I had his hair cut into a crew cut. I told him if he couldn't choose to turn in homework, he could not possibly choose a hair style. Just like magic no more F's!

 

[PatsGirl]

I love long hair on boys so of course DS always had a buzz from the time he cared enough to do exactly the opposite of what I wanted I think he has it cut every two weeks, lol.

DD has shoulder length hair now and is starting to take good care of it herself but for a few years there it was a battle. At about 3 she had hair to her fanny but would scream and cry every morning when I brushed it so I lopped it off up to her ears into a little girls' bob -- it was adorable but I really loved her long hair. At about 7 it was a little past her shoulders and she was again having trouble taking care of it, didn't want to wash it very often, etc. so again we got a bob.

She has asked to color it but I buy her the spray-in color so she can have streaks for a day and then wash them out. For her fifth grade social she is dressing up as Avril Lavigne and I bought a bottle of blond hair color spray that washes out -- this will be a first, doing her whole head -- and complement it with the Avril pink streak

DS has both ears pierced and wears diamonds in them (from DGF), DD has piercings but is just now starting to wear earrings again. I pierced hers when she was a baby because she looked so much like a boy. DS had one pierced when he asked going into first grade, wore an earring for about six months and repierced both ears last year himself.

Tats ~ well, I have a few but I'd prefer the kids waited until they were young adults and put alot of thought into it. Every tat I have stands for something and my favorite is a string of pulmeria below my neck on my back (from my dream trip to HI). DS wants one in the worst way but his recruiter told him to wait!! He actually listens to her. He's off to the Air Force in August -- at least he won't need a haircut

I'm definately of the thought that there are bigger battles to be fought out there -- trust me I know

 

[Darcy03231]

Here's another parent that picks their battles and hair isn't one of them.

The oldest came home with blue hair once when he was 16. Since he didn't get the reaction he was looking for he never did it again (plus I think he didn't like spending the $80 it cost him). He's always kept it on the short side.

DD (now 20) did magenta streaks once. Again, she didn't get any kind of a reaction and didn't want to keep paying for it herself so it was a one time deal. She has colored her hair a natural color or added hightlights since then, but nothing odd. She keeps it shoulder length and almost always has.

DD (now 16) has just been experimenting with coloring her hair. So far nothing weird (its black now) but she's done highlights and colors. She's gone from really long (almost to her knees) to really short (a bob) and now wears it to the middle of her back.

DS (now 14) likes to have his buzzed in the summer. Its really thick and tends to curl when it get longer. He's never had it really long as he tries to grow it out and then gets frustrated with it and wants it cut. He did dye the top of it blonde once, but again it was a one time thing and since he had to pay for it he didn't think it was worth it.

Both girls have their ears and belly buttons pierced. No piercings for the boys. Neither one ever expressed an interest.

 

[marlynnp]

Mine's not a teenager yet. But my rule will be/is nothing obscene and it must be clean. I let her use semi-permanent color now ~ I do it for her.

 

[sunlver]

Its funny, how so many refer to it as picking your battles. I totally agree with picking battles in parenting. For example, I dont get on my kids anymore about messy rooms. Sure if it gets unbearable, then everybody spends 1 hr picking up their room, but not often.

I already posted that my almost 14 yr old son gets haircuts like I want, as I do not like long messy hair on boys. Every since my son was old enough to get haircuts, I just have always told the hairdresser how I wanted it and just called it a "boys cut",but not crew cut. As my son got older he doesn't put up much fuss about it. He has mentioned he would like to grow it out, and I tell him I dont like long hair on boys and he says "OK", so no battle.