Parents of Teens, FYI

[barkley]

well said musicgirl!

i so agree with you on the accountability concept. you are so right on the point that the kid's whose parents make every excuse for inappropriate actions/behaviours do not and will not be able to successfully function in the "real world". far too often these kids develop an attitude that they can "do no wrong", and anyone who dares to try to correct them on any type of issue is "out to get" them.

i can't imagine how difficult it must be for teachers today to maintain appropriate behaviour in their classrooms-my kids have gone to private schools since day one and i cannot count the number of times i have seen parents creating major scenes with teachers over issues that involved their kids being in clear violation of school standards (which of course was spelled out to and agreed to by the parents when they made application for the kids to attend .).

on the original issue of alcohol consumption by underage kids on disney-in my opinion there will always be those kids who despite the best efforts of their parents will try and get away with it (when i was a teenager the military bases allowed drinking at 18, anyone who could get you on base was a very popular person) the availability of alocohol on board or in the ports just offer more opportunities. this will always be an issue. what i don't believe should ever be an issue is the kids whose parents make no effort whatsoever, and turn a "blind eye" because "it's a vacation, it's a cruise...". these are the same parents who will at home host the high school "kegger" parties with the attitude of "they're going to do it anyway-better at my house". these so called adults not only endanger thier own children but other's as well-and that i have a major problem with!

o.k. i've climbed off my soapbox now. can we all agree-if we see underage drinking on board we will immediatly report it?

 

[lzj21428]

cjsmith, the legal drinking age when I was growing up was 18 (also from NY) and I am just a few yrs older than you. And yeah, I did my share of drinking before I was "legal". Nothing my mom ever new about, although she knows now. She was totally surprised, as I was the "good" kid and my brother was the one who caused all the trouble.

No matter how well we think we know our kids, things happen that we are not aware of. I'm pretty sure my DD 17 and her friend 16 probably had a few drinks while on this cruise. I don't have absolute proof, but I certainly have my suspitions (sp), especially after hearing about what dh ran across in his walk that last night on the cruise.

I guess all we can do is just keep talking to them and constantly remind them what behavior is expected, no matter where we are, on vacation or at home. All that peer pressure is alot tougher these days than when I was younger. JMO

 

[DMMarla07860]

Here's my opinion on this, all teens wanna get drunk because they see all there other friends doing it. Me being 17, I know I've wanted to drink, but I'm careful about it, i'll only have a mikes hard lemonade and thats it, only one a special day like christmas, b-day or graduation. And my parents know

 

[cjsmith]

cjsmith, the legal drinking age when I was growing up was 18 (also from NY) and I am just a few yrs older than you. And yeah, I did my share of drinking before I was "legal". Nothing my mom ever new about, although she knows now. She was totally surprised, as I was the "good" kid and my brother was the one who caused all the trouble.

No matter how well we think we know our kids, things happen that we are not aware of. I'm pretty sure my DD 17 and her friend 16 probably had a few drinks while on this cruise. I don't have absolute proof, but I certainly have my suspitions (sp), especially after hearing about what dh ran across in his walk that last night on the cruise.

I guess all we can do is just keep talking to them and constantly remind them what behavior is expected, no matter where we are, on vacation or at home. All that peer pressure is alot tougher these days than when I was younger. JMO

Couldn't agree with your opinion more. I really do believe that the peer pressure is alot tougher as well these days. It's harder to be a parent of a teenager than I ever thought possible. My mom just laughs and says "pay back is a b*tch!" The funny thing is I was also the "good kids" and my brother the one who got caught!!!!

 

[lzj21428]

Regardless of weather or not you're careful about drinking, you are still not of legal age and are breaking the law and your parents are condoning the breaking of law. JMHO

If I'm in another country that allows drinking at 18, I still would not allow my child to drink. In my eyes she/he is not legal according to the laws of my country. I'm not a believer of "do as the romans do"

 

[Momeska]

on the original issue of alcohol consumption by underage kids on disney-in my opinion there will always be those kids who despite the best efforts of their parents will try and get away with it (when i was a teenager the military bases allowed drinking at 18, anyone who could get you on base was a very popular person) the availability of alocohol on board or in the ports just offer more opportunities. this will always be an issue. what i don't believe should ever be an issue is the kids whose parents make no effort whatsoever, and turn a "blind eye" because "it's a vacation, it's a cruise...". these are the same parents who will at home host the high school "kegger" parties with the attitude of "they're going to do it anyway-better at my house". these so called adults not only endanger thier own children but other's as well-and that i have a major problem with!

o.k. i've climbed off my soapbox now. can we all agree-if we see underage drinking on board we will immediatly report it?

Now my turn for the soapbox. I totally agree that there will always be those kids who despite their parent's efforts, will experiment. But if you teach your children from a very early age that "no" builds character, they will learn rules. Unfortunately, we live in a very permissive society. Everyone is out to bend the rules. Perhaps, my DH and I were just lucky...I know we were blessed with two boys who know what rules are. We're not yellers or screamers, we're just firm about rules. We told our DS18 that if he'd like a Corona in Cozumel, we'd let him have it...not interested. He spent three weeks in Australia and New Zealand last summer. He could have had as much to drink as was available. Again, not interested. He spend a week with friends in Ocean City, MD at the end of his senior year...a real party place. Do you know what he did there? He spent evenings driving around picking up other kids that were too drunk to find their way back to the house they were staying in. He's no saint...believe me...we've had other issues but nothing horrible. He's off to college next week in Indiana. We live in NJ. I'm not so naive to think he won't drink while at college. But I'm pretty confident that will be his first time. IMHO, that's when it should be, not in middle or high school. And, as I've said before, we have alcohol in our home...we are not tea-totallers. He's just not 21 and THAT's THE LAW!

 

[musicgirl]

When I was young, , we were allowed to drink beer at 18. 21 was the hard stuff. However, our beer was the 3:2 beer.

Does anyone else remember 3:2 beer? maybe I'm showing my age!!!!! We did plenty of damage with this weak concotion and I was an A student who NEVER got in trouble. I'm glad that they raised it. We were very irresponsible. I never drove, but it was not uncommon.

I thought that they already took the alcohol as you boarded the ship. Obviously I'm wrong. Maybe I'm thinking of the bottles of alcohol that you can purchase while on board.

I asked ds if he remembers seeing anyone drinking on our 7 night, and he said no. The only thing he mentioned was a kid who said that he had been drinking in a port with a parent. He told them that when he came back to the ship, that DCL made him stay in his room for 2 days. HMMMMMM, I wonder if he changed his story a little and his parents confinded him to his room!!!

 

[barkley]

this is realy spooky-but talk about timeing...after posting on this thread a couple of times today and reading everyone else's posts i decided to do my daily reading of my area's on-line newspapers-guess what was on the front page?!

the a.m.a. just released a study that a recent poll of u.s. teens shows that in the age range of 13-18 year olds:

*over 50% of the teen's polled had aquired alcohol at some point
* of that 50%, 1/3 reported aquiring with their parent's knowledge,
and 1/4 reported "partying with their parents present"
(interesting note-in most of the age groups there were a larger number of girls than boys obtaining the alcohol).

the study showed that the age for first time experimentation is decreasing yearly, and that experimentation with alcohol amoung elementary school students is "no longer unusual".

as an additional f.y.i.-i would not be surprised if disney cruise line had banished the afore mentioned kid to his cabin. one cruise we were on we heard an officer instructing a parent that his teenager was no longer allowed to be unaccompanied by a parent at any time due to his behaviour (and it's impact on other passenger's). when the father began arguing with the officer that he was'nt going to comply he was told that he had been previously advised of the problems, and that should he not comply with the officer's directive, he and his son would be disembarked at the next port.
so i think, depending on the situation disney can come down pretty hard.

 

[musicgirl]

I'm glad that DCL will do those kind of things when there are problems. It's sad to think that DCL "has to be the parent", especially if you are on vacation. Obviously, that kid must have been very disruptive to be asked to be accompanied by an adult/parent.

That's just another indication that alcohol is NOT readily available for underage drinkers. A previous poster indicated that the 16 yr. had flirted and was able to get a drink. I would imagine a CM that got caught would have very serious consequences, probably even dismissed. Think about how many servers are worried that they won't get an "excellent" rating because it affects their job security.

It is interesting about the girls being more likely to experiment. We know that drinking can lead to bad judgement, especially for unexperienced teens. This is exactly why many teens end up having casual sex. They are impaired and don't worry about the consequences.

 

[westjones]

When I was young, , we were allowed to drink beer at 18. 21 was the hard stuff. However, our beer was the 3:2 beer.

Does anyone else remember 3:2 beer? maybe I'm showing my age!!!!! We did plenty of damage with this weak concotion and I was an A student who NEVER got in trouble. I'm glad that they raised it. We were very irresponsible. I never drove, but it was not uncommon.

I remember "low" beer (grew up in Ohio also), but wasn't that an Ohio thing? I seem to remember that in West Virginia (right across the river from where I lived) you could buy harder stuff at age 18.

DJ

 

[musicgirl]

DJ, you are probably correct about the "low" beer. It was soooooo long ago!!! My birth year was the last one to be able to get it. We were "grandfathered" in being able to buy it because they changed it sometime between my age of 18-21.

I still am surprised that they don't hold port purchases. They won't let you have the on-board purchase until the end. The on-board deals are not that great. It is much cheaper at some of the ports. I would think there are tons more purchases in ports. It seems a bit one sided!!!!

 

[KEH]

Here's my opinion on this, all teens wanna get drunk because they see all there other friends doing it. Me being 17, I know I've wanted to drink, but I'm careful about it, i'll only have a mikes hard lemonade and thats it, only one a special day like christmas, b-day or graduation. And my parents know

I think this is a bit of a generalisation actually. And I speak as the mother of a DD17 who doesn't drink at all - she is offered it at home but just doesn't want it - and of 2 DD's15, with whom I only yesterday coincidentally had a conversation about drinking and peer pressure to be told "That's just stupid, getting so drunk that you don't know what you're doing and feel really ill."

Whilst I accept that some teens will get drunk because their friends do, it is by no means all of them. And my kids are far from perfect, I have no illusions at all about that.

They are all allowed a small amount of alcohol at home from time to time if they want it. that is the way DH and I were both brought up and it worked for us and so far, seems to be working for our kids.

 

[kcashner]

Ok, up front truth--I am "old" by my teen's standards. I was a couple grades ahead in school, and went to college young. In the state where I lived and went to college, the drinking age was 21. The first time I was home after my 18th birthday, my parents took me across state lines to a "club."


At the time, I thought it was a little weird. I had one drink, didn't really enjoy the music...and viewed it as them doing their own thing. THe only time in my life that I have been drunk was another night when I was out with my parents. Even at that time, I realized how stupid this was. Now, as a parent of a young teen, I find it unbelievable!

Drinking and/or getting drunk is not some sort of "right of passage." We have a small amount of alcohol in our home, but DD will tell you that I have 2 drinks a year...or sometimes 4. What she means by this is that I only drink on the ship because the rest of the time there is a possibility that I will be called into work and/or need to drive.

Bottom line--we, as parents need to set an appropriate example for our teens. We also need to set and enforce rules. I'm speaking to myself here, as enforcing rules isn't always easy (NO, you cannot be on the internet until you have finished chores, etc.) However, in the long run, this is what parenting is about. Parenting doesn't end when we step onto the ship!

 

[musicgirl]

KEH, I understand your point. In many cultures, drinking wine from a young age is part of their traditions. Who knows, perhaps it may be a learning technique for the young. I know this might not come across correctly, but maybe if they experienced alcohol in a safe environment, in controlled amounts, maybe they could learn about the effects it has on them.

Maybe if it wasn't so taboo, maybe it wouldn't be so tempting. You know the more something is denied, the more you want it.

My son doesn't go to parties, although he's just starting hs. so I'm sure there will be more opportunities. We starting a long time ago about him drinking and driving or getting in the car with another person who was drinking. I would rather have him call me and then discuss it later calmly then him feel he can not risk getting in trouble.

It is definitely a fine line we all walk on how to handle situations like drugs and alcohol.

 

[Jay045]

its not that hard to get alchole on board, Im from Canada our drinking age is 19, when i went on the cruise I was 20, me and my sister then 24 i think both just brought a bottle in our suitcases, no prob even 4 me, parents had no problem of course, i had my first legal beer in mexico at 16 i think, parents should remember in mexico there drinking law is pretty much once you are tall enuff to see over the bar they will serve you! I also bought 2 bottle in cozumel and carried them onto the ship, and i was still legaly underage on the ship, no prob. just keep and eye on them, its not too get the booze.