Parents of College Freshman who are now Sophomores... UpDate 7/28/09

[madge]

The freshman at my daughters school don't have a choice,you get the one with the most meals. My daughter is dorming but she is 15 minutes from home. I wanted to skip the meal plan cause she could come home whenever she wanted but the school said no. So she has the plan. But they can exchange some of their meals for campus cash. Campus cash can be used for any other expenses both on and off campus. Some of the local store and eateries that are close to the school accept the campus cash. She is already exchanging some of it and she's only been there 3 days.

oh, I wish DS could exchange meals for Tiger dollars ... like yesterday, after chapel ... when the cafeteria line was so long that he and his friends gave up and went to Taco Bell for lunch

 

[Praying Colonel]

DD is a 3rd-semester freshman with 24 hours--she stayed home last year and went to community college. We took her to college Saturday and helped her move in.

She may have the worst room on the worst floor of the worst dorm at the university. Her dorm is the oldest on campus and has no A/C. She lives on the top floor, so all the heat rises to her floor. And her room is on the very corner of the dorm where they seem to have no breeze at all. It was 94 Saturday and we were all feeling it--especially after the elevator stopped working and our last couple of trips had to be made up 4 flights of stairs.

However, she has a great roommate who lives about 15 minutes from us, and campus is only 75 minutes away, so they can share rides back and forth. Her dining hall is across the street, the student center is about 200 yards away and all of her classes are within a 10-minute walk, so she has those things going for her.

I was sad before we dropped her off, but somehow I had some closure and didn't feel as sad driving home. DW is struggling. We're glad we have the long Labor Day weekend this weekend so she can come home.

 

[madge]

DD is a 3rd-semester freshman with 24 hours--she stayed home last year and went to community college. We took her to college Saturday and helped her move in.

She may have the worst room on the worst floor of the worst dorm at the university. Her dorm is the oldest on campus and has no A/C. She lives on the top floor, so all the heat rises to her floor. And her room is on the very corner of the dorm where they seem to have no breeze at all. It was 94 Saturday and we were all feeling it--especially after the elevator stopped working and our last couple of trips had to be made up 4 flights of stairs.

However, she has a great roommate who lives about 15 minutes from us, and campus is only 75 minutes away, so they can share rides back and forth. Her dining hall is across the street, the student center is about 200 yards away and all of her classes are within a 10-minute walk, so she has those things going for her.

I was sad before we dropped her off, but somehow I had some closure and didn't feel as sad driving home. DW is struggling. We're glad we have the long Labor Day weekend this weekend so she can come home.

is she in Knight Hall at Georgetown College???

 

[Praying Colonel]

No (GC is a great school, BTW)--Keeneland Hall, UK.

 

[madge]

No (GC is a great school, BTW)--Keeneland Hall, UK.

I had no idea UK still had un-air condidtioned dorms.

DS is in Anderson Hall at GC, thankfully they have AC ... but the girls in Knight Hall were literally melting in the heat last week!

 

[mamacatnv]

Good Morning - can I just say, I am so glad THAT is over. What a mix of emotions. Sad that DS is not home every night, but so excited for him and his future. His first class is today at 11

DS is living on campus. From our front door to his new front door is 13 miles, may as well be 1000 .
I took off early on Wednesday, move in day. DS had to work until 2. I had all the toiletries and bedding essentials packed when he got home. He hadn't packed a thing He came in about 5 and loaded up. We packed up our van and headed to the Univ. at about 7. The place was controlled chaos! I cannot imagine what it was like earlier in the day. There were 3 HUGE dumpsters and they were overflowing with cardboard boxes from Micro's and refrigerators along with every conceivable organizing tool known to man. The boys are fairly simple and the girls, OMG they had stuff and lots of it
We unloaded his stuff, we were smart, we brought along our hand cart and with all of us and his GirlyFriend we made it up in one load. His roommate had arrived before him but was not around. DS was busy unloading his Xbox and hooking up his TV when he noticed that roomie had both a Calculus book and a Websters Dictionary that was the size of DS's Xbox. We all had a good chuckle. DS was way more concerned about his TV and Xbox, all his new books were still at home, he forgot them

We got DS's bed made, his stuff put away and rearranged a few things so that he had optimal viewing of his TV.
Roommate arrived, seems like a nice kid. He is from one of the rural communities about 1.5 hours away. He is the last of 3 boys to go to college - he said to me "first time doing this, huh?" I had to laugh. I guess one of his older Brothers came by over the weekend to let him know that Mom was having a tough time.

Went to hug DS goodbye and he would not let go of me. I finally whispered in his ear "let me go or I am going to lose it" he did, and we left. We got down to the parking lot and a really good friend called me to see how I was holding up. Told her, "can't talk about it now" I drove home. I was fine until I hit the offramp of the freeway that is our exit. Then later DS sends me a text, I was out on the porch, vodka tonic in one hand and trying to text thru my tears. I have held it together pretty well since. We went to 2 days of orientation where we saw DS for about 2 hours Friday morning. I am convinced that the purpose of orientation is to wean the parents from their children A campus full of excited teens and depressed parents. The funny thing is the kids look right at home and it was all of us parents who looked lost.

DS came by the house Saturday night, he needed a longer cable for his TV his desk lamp and he decided to take his bike (the Univ. is built on the side of a hill). We talked for a few minutes. He is being courted by a Fraternity and went on a tour yesterday, it intrigued him enough that he is planning on attending several Rush activities this week. He has been busy meeting new people and juggling his GirlyFriend who starts her Senior year of HS today. (This should be interesting to watch). He wandered around and located all his classes. So far he knows one person in the dorms from work and that is it. He is meeting lots and lots of new people and says he enjoys it.

As for dining plans:
As a dorm resident under 21, we had no choice, he must have a plan, but there were 4 to choose from. We purchased one level below the "all inclusive" if we didn't live here, I would have purchased the all inclusive so that I knew no matter what he has 3 meals a day. The plan we purchased has X number of meal swipes and a chunk of campus cash. The meal swipes are good in the all you can eat food court and one of the campus cafe's has "meals" along with ala carte purchases. There is also a pizza place that will take a combo of swipes for pizza. The plan we bought is not a use it or lose it type like the all inclusive. Whatever is left at the end of the semester will roll to the Spring semester. The all inclusive renews every Thursday. If he runs out of meal swipes we can add them in groups of 5. His plan gives him an average of 11 meal swipes a week. Parents eat free with their student at any time and are not limited to the number of visits. DD is very excited about this, she loves the food court they have .

Today, DD started 4th grade at a new Charter School and so we are all getting back to our school routines.

to all of you that have gotten thru the drop off process and to all of you who have it coming up.

 

[Galahad]

DS is living on campus. From our front door to his new front door is 13 miles, may as well be 1000 .

Our son's school is here in town too and he is living on campus. It's about 30 miles away - 45 minute drive. I really have no feel for how often we'll see him. My guess is, not much. Though my after hours job with the local youth orchestra puts me on his campus about 2 Sundays a month. So I'm guessing there might be the occasional "meet me on campus and bring me my <fill-in-the-blank>". That may be wishful thinking too. It could be he doesn't want the old man anywhere near his new territory. I've very excited for him though. It rally seems like such a great fit for him to call home.

 

[mamacatnv]

Our son's school is here in town too and he is living on campus. It's about 30 miles away - 45 minute drive. I really have no feel for how often we'll see him. My guess is, not much. Though my after hours job with the local youth orchestra puts me on his campus about 2 Sundays a month. So I'm guessing there might be the occasional "meet me on campus and bring me my <fill-in-the-blank>". That may be wishful thinking too. It could be he doesn't want the old man anywhere near his new territory. I've very excited for him though. It rally seems like such a great fit for him to call home.

Funny you mention that - DS came home on Saturday and took his bike apart, then Houdini'ed it into his Honda Accord and would not entertain the idea of us taking it over to the school for him (in one piece). No way, he didn't want to go there. I thought it was kind of funny

 

[Kath2003]

Conversely I spent the weekend with my boyfriend and dad at my parents' house attempting to dismantle my bike (it took two hours - REALLY!), pack it up and order a courier to come collect it and have it sent to my college address, five hours away. Oh and the cheapest courier was $50!

 

[donac]

Well I am home and I made it without crying.

Good luck to the other parents who still have to drop off their kids,.

 

[B&Ms mom]

I'm new to the thread but I've read through the previous postings about the preparations for sending my DS off for his freshman year. We dropped our son off about 10 days ago (he went 5 days earlier than most freshmen for soccer). The saying good bye wasn't bad. The tears were shed on my way home (about 3 1/2 hrs) but even then it wasn't as bad as I thought it may be. What's really set them off though have been the texts and phone calls telling me how miserable he is. The campus is relatively empty. His roommate is in and they get along very well but he plays football and is on an entirely different schedule so there's a fair amt. of alone time (when he isn't on the practice field). He's not eating right, the practice schedule doesn't mesh with the cafeteria's hours, he's not sleeping well because he's sore and unhappy. It's awful!!! My heart breaks for him. I assure him that lot of people go through this and it will pass eventually. The rest of the freshmen came last Friday and it seems a little better but he still sounds so down!
He can't come home until almost Thanksgiving because of the soccer schedule so he's got to stick it out for awhile. We'll be going up periodically for games so we're hoping that will help.
Is anyone else going through this with their freshmen? Any suggestions to help him?

 

[Traveliz]

I'm new to the thread but I've read through the previous postings about the preparations for sending my DS off for his freshman year. We dropped our son off about 10 days ago (he went 5 days earlier than most freshmen for soccer). The saying good bye wasn't bad. The tears were shed on my way home (about 3 1/2 hrs) but even then it wasn't as bad as I thought it may be. What's really set them off though have been the texts and phone calls telling me how miserable he is. The campus is relatively empty. His roommate is in and they get along very well but he plays football and is on an entirely different schedule so there's a fair amt. of alone time (when he isn't on the practice field). He's not eating right, the practice schedule doesn't mesh with the cafeteria's hours, he's not sleeping well because he's sore and unhappy. It's awful!!! My heart breaks for him. I assure him that lot of people go through this and it will pass eventually. The rest of the freshmen came last Friday and it seems a little better but he still sounds so down!
He can't come home until almost Thanksgiving because of the soccer schedule so he's got to stick it out for awhile. We'll be going up periodically for games so we're hoping that will help.
Is anyone else going through this with their freshmen? Any suggestions to help him?

There is a long thread here with another mom who is having different but similar problems...I can't think of the name of it now but it pops up fairly frequently -- perhaps someone will come along with a link.

Best of luck.

Liz

 

[YetanotherMouseFan]

DD said at her orientation they told them about a student whose parents had called the university to complain about the very large charges their child had on their credit card for the library. The administration had to explain to them that there is a bar in town that's named "The Library" and that was probably where those large charges came from...



(No reflection on your son intended!)

Sorry...error

 

[mouseclick1]

We moved DS into his dorm on Thursday. Everything was so well organized by the university; it was a piece of cake! They had streets closed to everyone except kids moving in, police directing traffic, and student helpers everywhere. DS and his roommate have been friends throughout high school, so there was no anxiety there. They met a few kids on their floor, and everyone seemed pretty cool. Though I teared up giving him that final hug, I had a pretty good feeling about leaving him there.

Today is the first football game which DH and I were planning on going to. However, my younger DS (high school senior) really wanted to go, so I am staying home and he is going with DH. They are going to stop in the dorm first and deliver DS's laptop (the delay in that is a frustrating story in itself!), which will be nice for DH since he wasn't there on move-in day so he hasn't seen his room yet. I doubt they will see him much after that, since DS will be in the student section with his friends.

I hope all of your kids are settling in nicely, especially the ones that were a little apprehensive to go. Best of luck to everyone!

 

[MsAmerica]

We brought our only child Thursday to school. We were there for about eight hours because they had events scheduled for the parents also, including a BBQ dinner before we said our good-bye's.

The roommate seems fine and I am confident she was left in good hands.

However, I must say, that last good-bye was harder than I thought it would be. I looked at her, she looked at me, I teared up so she teared up and then we were both crying. We got in the car to drive away and DH starts talking like we dropped her off at the movies I told him let's just not talk on the way home and we had a quiet hours drive home.

My mother called my cell on the way home, I didn't pick up. My sister called, I let it go to voicemail also. There was no way I could have spoken to either of them. I was fine as long as I didn't speak.....LOL....I just wasn't capable of talking about any of it.

DD texted me that night around 11 and told me she was already in bed because she was really tired. I had a text from her again when I woke up Friday morning, telling me what else she thought she needed. She called after leaving yesterday's mandatory lecture but I haven't heard from her since so I guess she is fine. Actually, I haven't asked once if she liked it, I figured I wouldn't give her any ideas that no liking it was even an option.

I think the hardest part, especially with an only, is finding the rhythm of life without her on a daily basis and the constant "drama" she seems to attract.

It is just really quiet here, I think I miss her noise the most...


MsA

 

[winniedapooh]

We leave in about an hour and a half to bring DD--she will be an hour and 15 away. She is 2nd in line of our 5, but the 1st to go away to college. I am a nervous wreck that I will make a blubbering idiot of myself. I have followed this thread for about a week now. I think I agree with 1 poster who said that the kids fit in and it is the parents that look sad, lol. I will report back, once I get home tonight.

 

[horseshowmom]

We brought our only child Thursday to school.

I think the hardest part, especially with an only, is finding the rhythm of life without her on a daily basis and the constant "drama" she seems to attract.

It is just really quiet here, I think I miss her noise the most...


MsA

As the mother of an only child, I understand what you mean. My DD commuted the first two years (which helped a lot in my adjustment since she stayed at school from time to time with friends). She moved into an apt. her Jr. year with her cousin (is now in her Sr. year).

She's getting married next June, so this was her last summer "at home". It's pretty tough sometimes. We're very close, and I really do miss her when she's not at home.

If it helps any, it really does get better. If she's only a hour away (if I understood you correctly), she'll be home a lot (mine's a hour away, and she comes home every weekend). Plus, I try to drop over there occasionally to have lunch. Good luck!


P.S. Of course, in our case, there are other things besides just missing her. When she's not here, I have to clean the litter box for her cats (and the one who normally sleeps with her insists on getting in bed with us), and her dad has to feed her horses. (I think I know why she moved to college! )

 

[madge]

I hope all of your kids are settling in nicely, especially the ones that were a little apprehensive to go. Best of luck to everyone!

I don't know if DS was apprehensive ... he didn't need to be, though. I was apprehensive for him

He was settled in after about 2 hours, already met new people, etc. We had nothing to worry about, LOL. In fact, he kept saying he wasn't coming home this weekend ... we thought he'd change his mind, and he didn't. He sounds good and seems to be having a good time. I do believe he's actually studying, as well

We'll see how it all progresses, but week one went well.

 

[mouseclick1]

So I'm sitting here watching the football game on TV, knowing that my son is at the game in the student section. DH and younger DS are also at the game (NOT in the student section!). We score our first touchdown, and I hear the crowd roar and sing the fight song. And then, I lost it! I finally had that good cry from all of the emotions that have been building up all week long! They were mostly happy tears, as I pictured my son singing the fight song as an official college student. I remember being at a game with him last year, and half way through the game, he just blurted, "Ahh, I want to go here so bad!" This has been such a dream of his for so long, I am just so happy that it came true for him.

Other than the fact that we are currently losing, I' know that this is a very exciting day for him!

 

[Amy]

Well, HERE's a reaction I wasn't prepared for!

For the past week, our dog has been moping around, lying/sleeping in places he never used to, always under my feet, barking at little noises he used to ignore. All I can think is that he misses DS18! And I guess since DH and I tore apart DS's room to clean it really good, maybe Charlie thinks we "got rid" of DS18 and he's afraid we'll get rid of him, too?? He was really bad early last week, then he got a little better. But yesterday, DH left to go up to his buddy's camp for a couple of days, and DS16 worked all day today, so once I got back from church this morning, Charlie won't leave me alone! And the funny thing is that DS18 and Charlie didn't have a real close relationship like some kids and their dogs, you know? Weird.

DS18 is coming home for a quick visit this coming weekend (Sept. 6-7), so we'll see if that perks Charlie up.

Anybody else's pet acting strangely since your DS/DD left for college?