Parents: I don't understand

[Friend of a Mouse]

Twice in two days I have been eating dinner and been subjected to the high pitched screaming of a little terror. Last night I was at a Pei Wei. The couple that sat in the booth next to mine was nice, but halfway through their cute little boy started screaming. I will give them credit, the mom did get up to leave and as soon as she got toward the door he quieted down. There were a few smaller episodes, but he did quiet down quickly. I understand why they stayed put, but it was still fairly annoying.

Tonight I was at Culver's and a family in the same section had what appeared to be a little girl no older than 2. She was screaming at a pitch that only dogs should have been able to hear. After one half hearted "used you indoor voice", the parents then proceeded to chase her around the restaurant, hide behind corners and pop out and scare her, and generally horseplay. This had the predictable effect of making her scream even more. I was very tempted to say something to them, but it was not worth it.

Maybe I am missing something because I am not a parent, but when did it become okay to subject an entire restaurant to the high pitched screaming of your child while you chase them around the restaurant? Parents, if another patron came up to you and asked you politely to stop, how would you take it? Honestly, this is not the first time I have seen kids running through this restaurant screaming so I pretty much just quit going there except once in a blue moon. This is the first time I have seen parents actively contributing to the mayhem.

 

[LuLuO]

It is not okay. If my kids cause a ruckus, we leave.

Some people are self-centered jerks. Seems like the second restaurant you mentioned has a plethora of self-centered jerk patrons.

 

[superme80]

It is not. My kids like to uh...test their vocal range whenever possible. They get one warning before they go to the bathroom for a talk. Discipline will escalate from there. My kids are not always the best in restaurants ie loud talking, staring over the booth...you get the picture. Because of this we rarely go out. At 2 years old kids are still learning about inside and outside voice. It is the parents job to teach them. Sorry the kids were screaming.

 

[mmouse37]

It happens more and more. Let me preface this by saying I hate confrontation. It takes a lot to get me to say something. I almost got in a physical fight once when a group of moms were at a table in the back of a restaurant pounding down Coronas while their collective kids aged from 3-8 ran around (6 of them) the restuarant...back and forth to the front door, bumping into tables, barely colliding into wait staff. I actually asked the server if there was something they could do and he just said "not really". The whole time the moms did not say a word to them. I was with my adult kids and they could see me getting madder and madder.

As they were leaving they looked over at me and smiled and I just said that they were the worst behaved kids I had ever seen. One mom jumped down my throat and wanted to fight...she was half in the bag. Funny thing was that other patrons had heard me and started clapping. She stood there dumbfounded.

We get outside and the mayhem continued....this time one of the kids almost got hit by a car because they were running off the curb into the parking lot. It was a nightmare.

MJ

 

[Monte Cristo]

I am not a parent,

Your perspective is noted. You have no idea how hard it can be to be a parent. No it's NOT ok for a child to do this IMO. If my child did this,she would immediately be removed from the room.

Parents, if another patron came up to you and asked you politely to stop, how would you take it?

NOT well, While I know I would be respectful of others' enjoyment, I wouldn't need someone who hasn't been in my position asking me to stop a child from screaming. That's virtually impossible which is why you remove the child...again IMO. But don't dare come up to me.

MC

 

[Ceila]

Twice in two days I have been eating dinner and been subjected to the high pitched screaming of a little terror. Last night I was at a Pei Wei. The couple that sat in the booth next to mine was nice, but halfway through their cute little boy started screaming. I will give them credit, the mom did get up to leave and as soon as she got toward the door he quieted down. There were a few smaller episodes, but he did quiet down quickly. I understand why they stayed put, but it was still fairly annoying.

Tonight I was at Culver's and a family in the same section had what appeared to be a little girl no older than 2. She was screaming at a pitch that only dogs should have been able to hear. After one half hearted "used you indoor voice", the parents then proceeded to chase her around the restaurant, hide behind corners and pop out and scare her, and generally horseplay. This had the predictable effect of making her scream even more. I was very tempted to say something to them, but it was not worth it.

Maybe I am missing something because I am not a parent, but when did it become okay to subject an entire restaurant to the high pitched screaming of your child while you chase them around the restaurant? Parents, if another patron came up to you and asked you politely to stop, how would you take it? Honestly, this is not the first time I have seen kids running through this restaurant screaming so I pretty much just quit going there except once in a blue moon. This is the first time I have seen parents actively contributing to the mayhem.

I see nothing wrong with the first set of parents you describe. Very young kids are unpredictable, and it sounds like the mom was swift in giving him a consequence, thus helping him learn to behave properly.

On the other hand, the second set should have been asked to leave the restaurant by the manager. I know Culver's is basically fast food, but that does not mean that people should let their kids run around and scream.

 

[Friend of a Mouse]

Your perspective is noted. You have no idea how hard it can be to be a parent. No it's NOT ok for a child to do this IMO. If my child did this,she would immediately be removed from the room.



NOT well, While I know I would be respectful of others' enjoyment, I wouldn't need someone who hasn't been in my position asking me to stop a child from screaming. That's virtually impossible which is why you remove the child...again IMO. But don't dare come up to me.

MC

I would not go up to a parent with a screaming child at a table, but when the parent is actively chasing them around, tickling them, and making them scream, that was when I considered approaching them.

 

[Hayleybot]

It's reasons like this that I cringe having to go out to eat because my impulsive nearly 3 year old may make a loud noise that will annoy other people. I mean honestly, you're complaining about a little boy that screamed, but the mom got up with him and he quieted down? Yes, I understand that the running around the restaurant is disrespectful and definitely frowned upon, but to complain of a child screaming. Get real.

It's so awesome to be judged because you have a child and you decided to go out to eat as a family but he gets upset over something and screams.

Come to my table and say something after I'm trying my best to calm my child down and ill show you what is really a terror and annoying.

 

[Friend of a Mouse]

It's reasons like this that I cringe having to go out to eat because my impulsive nearly 3 year old may make a loud noise that will annoy other people. I mean honestly, you're complaining about a little boy that screamed, but the mom got up with him and he quieted down? Yes, I understand that the running around the restaurant is disrespectful and definitely frowned upon, but to complain of a child screaming. Get real.

It's so awesome to be judged because you have a child and you decided to go out to eat as a family but he gets upset over something and screams.

Come to my table and say something after I'm trying my best to calm my child down and ill show you what is really a terror and annoying.

Like I said, I understood the parents who were at the first restaurant. It was annoying, but they attempted to do something about it. I wouldn't have mentioned it had there not been another screaming child that was much worse tonight. I never judged the parents in the first one. Again, I applaud the mom for being willing to get up and attempting to leave at which point the child quieted down.

Let me be clear: I would never approach a parent trying to calm down their child. I would (and always do) simply ignore it or if it's particularly bothersome I move my table. The second example, where the child was being actively encouraged by the parents who were chasing (in a playful way, not like she ran away from them) her around the restaurant and popping out from behind corners to scare her, THAT is when I considered saying something. At that point they were not" doing their best to calm their child". They were actively encouraging the behavior.

 

[tasha99]

The only acceptable thing to do if your child is crying or screaming is to leave until they stop. I did it when my kids were little. Sadly, I think a lot of people just don't care.

When I saw the Star Trek reboot in the theater, a couple of parents let their toddler literally run circles around the seats. An usher made them leave, and the entire audience applauded. Bravo to the theater for kicking them out!

 

[NewmanFamily6]

We always left when our children turned into what we lovingly refer to as "The Children of the Corn." I will say that never once did mine ever attempt to run around a restaurant. We left many meals early with my DH waiting to pay as I ushered everyone to the car.

 

[jennyjinx3]

Really, a night out is a nice break from the norm for most parents with small children, and I am sure most parents prep their kids on how to behave. I know from experience though that situations come up that you as a parent have no control over. Crying, screaming or fighting....yes these things do happen. But maybe the parents don't always want to leave, and want to try and salvage the night.

Playing games with the child may have been a desperate attempt to save their evening without giving in and admitting failure. Been there, and it stinks to retreat because of a little ones's tantrum.

Sorry you were annoyed with the parents and children but until you are in their shoes, don't judge.

 

[si-am]

It's reasons like this that I cringe having to go out to eat because my impulsive nearly 3 year old may make a loud noise that will annoy other people. I mean honestly, you're complaining about a little boy that screamed, but the mom got up with him and he quieted down? Yes, I understand that the running around the restaurant is disrespectful and definitely frowned upon, but to complain of a child screaming. Get real.

It's so awesome to be judged because you have a child and you decided to go out to eat as a family but he gets upset over something and screams.

Come to my table and say something after I'm trying my best to calm my child down and ill show you what is really a terror and annoying.

I don't think the OP had an issue with a parent trying to calm a kid down. I will say, TRYING to calm a kid is nice and all, but if it's not working, and the kid continues to scream, then it's not right to just stay in there and subject everyone else to the noise.

 

[tennvalgirl]

I don't think the OP had an issue with a parent trying to calm a kid down. I will say, TRYING to calm a kid is nice and all, but if it's not working, and the kid continues to scream, then it's not right to just stay in there and subject everyone else to the noise.

Parents will argue that the child is not that loud, other people are just as loud, etc. but I don't go to a restaurant to hear screeching.

 

[mad madam mim78]

I could care less about a kid screaming at culvers. It's fast food. That's like saying a kid was screaming at McDonald's. Thats probably why they chose to eat there for the more kid friendly atmosphere. Now if someone takes their kid into a nice sit down restaurant THAT'S a different story. If I'm forking out the money for a nice dinner and there's kids running around and screaming that bothers me.

Culvers I wouldn't even bat an eyelash.

As a mother of 3 though I love all the judgment. If you yell at your kids people look at you like a monster. If you don't scold them at all you're inconsiderate. There's so many stories of patrons calling the police or child protective services its no wonder parents don't know what to do under the scrutiny of the public.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

If my kid screams in a restaurant once, she will get a firm reminder not to. If she does it again, she is out of there. There will be no warning on running around. She will know the expectations beforehand and if she won't comply, out the door she goes. My husband and I were both raised this way and we will raise our daughter this way.

I want people to respect me and not let their kids misbehave in a restaurant, therefore I'm going to treat them with the same respect and not let my kid do it. If I miss a few meals or eat cold food, then maybe it will motivate me to work harder on her behavior.

No, I'm not a parent yet. But my husband and I were raised this way, and have discussed how we will handle this, and we agree this is the approach we want to take. We were both well behaved restaurant patrons at a young age because our parents taught us how to behave and removed us once or twice, teaching us a lesson. If that method doesn't work for you and your kid, so be it. One size doesn't fit all.

 

[Friend of a Mouse]

Really, a night out is a nice break from the norm for most parents with small children, and I am sure most parents prep their kids on how to behave. I know from experience though that situations come up that you as a parent have no control over. Crying, screaming or fighting....yes these things do happen. But maybe the parents don't always want to leave, and want to try and salvage the night.

Playing games with the child may have been a desperate attempt to save their evening without giving in and admitting failure. Been there, and it stinks to retreat because of a little ones's tantrum.

Sorry you were annoyed with the parents and children but until you are in their shoes, don't judge.

So it's okay to chase your child on multiple laps around the restaurant? The interaction from start to finish was one of playfulness. Even the "indoor voice" was not said in a serious one. I can understand if they were at the table, but I don't care if it is a Culver's, McDonald's, or whatever, chasing your child and playing hide and seek are not restaurant appropriate activities. (Unless of course you are in the Play Place)

 

[Robbi]

When my children cut up- they weren't perfect- either my husband or myself would walk outside with them. If and when they calmed down, we returned. If not, whoever was at the table with the others would finish their meal and then we'd leave. There's no excuse for subjecting anyone else to a child's tantrums or bad behavior.

 

[ManyMinnie]

Twice in two days I have been eating dinner and been subjected to the high pitched screaming of a little terror. Last night I was at a Pei Wei. The couple that sat in the booth next to mine was nice, but halfway through their cute little boy started screaming. I will give them credit, the mom did get up to leave and as soon as she got toward the door he quieted down. There were a few smaller episodes, but he did quiet down quickly. I understand why they stayed put, but it was still fairly annoying.

Tonight I was at Culver's and a family in the same section had what appeared to be a little girl no older than 2. She was screaming at a pitch that only dogs should have been able to hear. After one half hearted "used you indoor voice", the parents then proceeded to chase her around the restaurant, hide behind corners and pop out and scare her, and generally horseplay. This had the predictable effect of making her scream even more. I was very tempted to say something to them, but it was not worth it.

Maybe I am missing something because I am not a parent, but when did it become okay to subject an entire restaurant to the high pitched screaming of your child while you chase them around the restaurant? Parents, if another patron came up to you and asked you politely to stop, how would you take it? Honestly, this is not the first time I have seen kids running through this restaurant screaming so I pretty much just quit going there except once in a blue moon. This is the first time I have seen parents actively contributing to the mayhem.

Because some parents are idiots.

Some think nothing of subjecting the public to their screeching child.

Others believe you think their snowy is just as adorable as they do.

If a parent does something to try and quiet/corrrect the child, they have my sympathy. If they don't, well expect lots of dirty looks from people around them.

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[mommyrosa2]

We always left when our children turned into what we lovingly refer to as "The Children of the Corn." I will say that never once did mine ever attempt to run around a restaurant. We left many meals early with my DH waiting to pay as I ushered everyone to the car.

....love it! When ours were little it was the "bewitching hour". Seriously though, my youngest was soooooooo horrible the minute we stepped into any restaurant that we literally couldn't take her out to any restaurant until she was about 5. Never would we subject ourselves or anyone else for that matter to a temper tantrum or screaming at a restaurant. If she acted up, we left, period! Now, I will say that I would never approach a parent about their screaming child and I would also not take it well if someone approached me about mine. But I have seen some parents do absolutely nothing as their child went out of control in a restaurant...in fact we see it quite often in the dinner restaurants at Disney