Parents: how often do you kiss and hug your teens?

marcyinPA

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 2, 2001
Messages
7,731
I don't know why I think about these things, but I do! My DS15 is about 7 inches taller than me, so hugging him these days is pretty awkward! But then I started thinking, I just don't hug and kiss him like I did when he was younger.

My DS11 (soon to be 12) is VERY huggy/kissy, but he's also very small for his age. But his personality is more affectionate than my DS15's.

I tell both of my kids OFTEN that I love them. Several times a day. But I could go weeks without hugging or kissing DS15. Is that unusual?? :confused:
 
No. And it has little to do with him being a teenager.

I'm not a hugger/kisser. Do I love my mom any less because I don't like to hug her? Heck no. It's just uncomfortable for me and I reserve doing so for 'special occasions' - like when we were grieving for the loss of my grandfather, etc. I'm not the sort to just go up and hug and kiss someone unless I'm dating them.

People are different, that's all. :)
 
I have a seventeen year old boy. I rarely kiss him, but I try to hug him every day, or every other day at the least. I'd say he hugs me a couple times a week on his own. In the past few years he's probably kissed me once or twice on his own.

ETA: I'm not a hugger at all with other people (friends and extended family) - it just really makes me uncomfortable. I'm very affectionate with my kids, though.
 
I have a seventeen year old boy. I rarely kiss him, but I try to hug him every day, or every other day at the least. I'd say he hugs me a couple times a week on his own. In the past few years he's probably kissed me once or twice on his own.

ETA: I'm not a hugger at all with other people (friends and extended family) - it just really makes me uncomfortable. I'm very affectionate with my kids, though.

I could have written this except mine is 14, and he has kissed more than that in the last year.

Honestly, I cherish his hugs because it seems like most teenagers don't want to show their Mom affection he does and will do it in front of his friends too.
 

I hug and kiss my 15 year old daily. Tell her I love her all the time too. Its just how it has always been.
 
I don't think it's 'unusual'.

My mom always hugged/kissed and said "I love you" to myself and my 2 bros always - through the teen years too. But that was just us. There's absolutely no right or wrong here.
 
We are big huggers , but of course once my oldest got to teenage years it was quite a bit less. More, patting him on the arm or head while walking past him as he was playing games . Only a kiss when I trapped him : ) . He is going to be 22 soon and starts each visit and ends each visit with a hug and kiss to all of us even his Dad. Sweet boy . :love: Guess some of my "hands on ness" rubbed off on him.
 
My 17 year old is not a hugger or a kisser, so I only get hugs and kisses on holidays and special occassions.
My 12 year old is so affectionate, I get a hug and kiss almost every day for him (he's also moody, so some days I just get grunted at)

Either way, I tell both that I love them every single day before they go to school, and they both tell me they love me as the last thing they say getting out of the car for school.
 
DS (18) would run away if I tried to kiss him. Hugs are OK though.
 
I don't know why I think about these things, but I do! My DS15 is about 7 inches taller than me, so hugging him these days is pretty awkward! But then I started thinking, I just don't hug and kiss him like I did when he was younger.

My DS11 (soon to be 12) is VERY huggy/kissy, but he's also very small for his age. But his personality is more affectionate than my DS15's.

I tell both of my kids OFTEN that I love them. Several times a day. But I could go weeks without hugging or kissing DS15. Is that unusual?? :confused:

Every day even fromDS 16 but he doesn't easily say I love you... guess it is a trade off. My other three kids 14,13,11 all hug and kiss and say I love you.:love:
 
I do tell them I love them daily (multiple times a day); but no hugging and kissing very often.... I'm also not the type to hug and kiss on people in general....
 
DD is 13, DS is 10. Hug and kiss both everyday. More than once.
 
I tell them I love them every day, but hugs and kisses are few and far between. :((
 
Kisses are not very often, but hugs are almost daily. Sometimes several times a day.
 
Mine are 13 and 15. They still come around and hug everyone before bed. And if I'm feeling affectionate, or sentimental, or guilty, or if I just think the kid needs a hug, then I'll grab them and give them a spontaneous hug. I guess that would happen several times a week.

There's lots of other kinds of friendly touching, too... Sometimes they walk over and lean against my shoulder when I'm cooking, which is sort of like a hug, but less formal. When I sit down on the couch, one or the other might sit on my feet or lean on my legs. My son likes to put his chin on my head when I'm on the computer. And when he wants something he sort of paws me. My son touches me more than my daughter does - but she hangs off her daddy's arm a lot, so it balances out.

We don't kiss.
 
My DS15 still wants hugs all the time. He has Asperger's which has made him set a few boundaries about being touched. There are only a handful of people that he allows to touch him (me, DH, DS12, my parents, my sister, and my brother - but he only high 5's him). The rest of us can hug him and he seeks out hugs from us often, especially me. He wants a hug when he gets up in the morning, before he gets on the bus, and when he gets home. At other times during the day, he'll come looking for a hug! He's very sweet, but only with his "approved" people.

DS12 is also very sweet and has always been a huggy guy. He loves getting and giving hugs and kisses, as long as it's not in front of his friends! I get a big hug before DH takes him to school. When I pick him up, I know not to hug him until we get into the house. He also seeks out hugs at other times, like when he's having hard time with his homework or he's not happy with a grade he got. I love having such sweet boys and am not ready to give up the hugs just yet!
 
You know, it's funny, because I grew up in a very affectionate family where my parents kissed me, but I think stopped kissing my daughter long before she became a teen. She's not a really huggy kid, either, and it just seemed to be what she preferred. :confused3

She gets a hug now if she is feeling down and needs one (which is pretty rare) and when one of us goes away to travel for business...we have an old ritual of a hug for each day that the parent is away, and that seems to have continued, even though she is almost off to college.

She knows she is loved and I guess that's all that really matters. :)
 
My DD15 (16 this Thursday :sad1:) is very clingy, always wants a hug and a kiss from me on a daily basis. We have even started to do the air kisses seen on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!:laughing:

My DS13 he loves to be around me. Tells me that he loves me all the time. Comes to me demanding a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It took me a while to break him from kissing me on the lips, that was a little weird.
 
I hug or kiss DD at least a couple of times a day and she is 22 years old. If I don't go to her, she comes to me. She always kisses me goodnight.
 





New Posts










Save Up to 30% on Rooms at Walt Disney World!

Save up to 30% on rooms at select Disney Resorts Collection hotels when you stay 5 consecutive nights or longer in late summer and early fall. Plus, enjoy other savings for shorter stays.This offer is valid for stays most nights from August 1 to October 11, 2025.
CLICK HERE













DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest

Back
Top