Parents: how often do you kiss and hug your teens?

[Momvic5]

I hug and kiss my ds14 every night - that is just what we have always done at bedtime. My dh hugs and kisses him too. If he is staying overnight somewhere, he texts me a "goodnight" and an "I love you". He is very sweet, and I try to be very receptive to him because I am not really a touchy, feely person by nature, but both of my sons are and always have been. My dd11 on the other hand is like me....she will give you a hug and kiss every night too, but they are short and quick and even a little stiff.

A couple of weeks ago, I was dropping my son off at school, and as I stopped to let him out, I noticed that the young man in the car in front of us leaned over and kissed his mom goodbye before he got out. I thought it was so sweet. When he got out of the car, he had a big smile on his face and a donut in his hand....my son said, "yeah Mom, if you buy me a donut for breakfast, I will kiss you goodbye too". Guess what...I plan on surprising him with a stop by the donut shop one morning on the way to school.

 

[Momvic5]

Mine are 13 and 15. They still come around and hug everyone before bed. And if I'm feeling affectionate, or sentimental, or guilty, or if I just think the kid needs a hug, then I'll grab them and give them a spontaneous hug. I guess that would happen several times a week.

There's lots of other kinds of friendly touching, too... Sometimes they walk over and lean against my shoulder when I'm cooking, which is sort of like a hug, but less formal. When I sit down on the couch, one or the other might sit on my feet or lean on my legs. My son likes to put his chin on my head when I'm on the computer. And when he wants something he sort of paws me. My son touches me more than my daughter does - but she hangs off her daddy's arm a lot, so it balances out.

We don't kiss.

Ditto! My son does these things too - almost exactly.

 

[stepmommyof1]

My stepson, I will hug a lot, like when he is going to go to bed I will hug him and say I love you. Or if he is going someplace i will give him a hug before he leaves. I kind of give side-hugs or hugs where your arms go around but your bodies don't really touch. Just because...well not that anything wrong would happen but I just feel that with a boy that age who is not technically your real son you do not want to get overly close physically in case they could get the wrong idea.
I do not kiss him because I would just be uncomfortable doing that...if I kissed him it would be on his forehead or the top of his head, I would not feel like it was appropriate to kiss him on the cheek. But kissing just seems like too much to me so I don't do that.

I do hug a lot though and i guess it is because i grew up in a house where pretty much hugged someone before they left the room LOL. I think you should always hug your family ( as long as everybodys comfortable with it).

His father is another story, he never shows his son any affection at all. They don't touch at all ever. I kind of think that is unhealthy. I mean if you're not comfortable hugging you can at least pat your kids on the top of the head or something, I don't know what,but it just seems odd to never show your kid any affection. Stepson told me his dad has always been that way, he doesn't remember his dad ever really hugging him.

 

[AustinTink]

Group hug every night before bed for Mom, Dad, DS12 and the dog!

 

[Shmily1]

Mine are now 21 and almost 20 and I hug them and kiss them often. DS21 is in college and before I leave him each time or he leaves home, he always comes to get his hugs and kisses. DD19 lives with us and she always wants hugs and kisses. My parents were not affectionate. I do remember them telling me they loved me when my brother died, which I thought was so odd. I made it a point to always tell my kids I love them and show them affection.

 

[Pembo]

I hug and kiss all of my kids before they go to bed and again when I check in on them before I go to bed. They also get a hug and kiss before they leave in the am. Ds's are 12 and 15, dd is 8. I often get hugs other times of the day too. That's normal in our house.

 

[KimR]

Every day, several times thoughout the day. I am generally not a hugger; in fact I'm very uncomfortable with it when it's someone outside my immediate family. With my kids, though, it's different. From the time they were babies, I've always given lots of hugs and kisses.

 

[marcyinPA]

A couple of weeks ago, I was dropping my son off at school, and as I stopped to let him out, I noticed that the young man in the car in front of us leaned over and kissed his mom goodbye before he got out. I thought it was so sweet. When he got out of the car, he had a big smile on his face and a donut in his hand....my son said, "yeah Mom, if you buy me a donut for breakfast, I will kiss you goodbye too". Guess what...I plan on surprising him with a stop by the donut shop one morning on the way to school.

I love that!!!

Although DS15 is not huggy/kissy, he is also not embarrassed of me (yet?). When we were in WDW in February for his band trip, I ran into him pretty often in the parks. Even though he was with his friends, if he saw me, he'd yell out "Hi Mom!!!!"....and came up to me every time. From what some of my friends have said, their teens would rather die than acknowledge them in front of their friends!

So I gave him a hug last night, and he's just so tall and lanky and bony! My head doesn't even reach his shoulder!! It's just so.....weird!!!!

(for the record, I don't kiss my kids on the lips anymore. We are cheek/head kissers.)

Oh, and my DS11 hangs all over me. He is very touchy feely. I joke that he'd crawl back up inside me if he could! He's also very attentive and sweet....makes me coffee, and rubs my back (with his elbows....ahhhh!) when he senses that I'm stressed out. He's going to make an AWESOME husband someday!!

 

[Catira]

My daughter is 16 and doesn't much like it when we hug and kiss her. This started around the time she was 13 or so. Unless it's a "special occasion". Ironic, that this is the same child that slept in our bed until she was 4 yrs. old, and would even put her leg over yours so she would know if you were leaving. At parties, she would rather sit on my lap then play with other kids. Oh wait, I forgot kids grow-up!! My son who is 12, will let me hug and kiss him but only at home. Can not be at a public place.. it's embarrassing MOM! But, I do kiss him every morning when I drop him off at school.

When I was 8 years old, my Dad went out to business function. We briefly kissed each other good bye. That night, at the age of 32 he had a heart attack and I never saw him again!

 

[Arielle22]

My daughters are 15 and 17. We usually hug a few times a week. Kisses are more seldom. I do tell them I love them every day (DH does as well).

I will pat or tough them as they are sitting down or walking by me.

Our group hugs are a thing that make us smile. If DH and I notice one of the girls walking between us, we yell "group hug" and try to hug her. Our daughter will preten to try to get away.

My extended family hugs and kisses the children but not each other. The last time I kissed my sisters were at their weddings (at least 8 years ago for the younger one). The last time I hugged my younger brother was at our dad's funeral (about 25 years ago) and I don't remember the last time I touched my older brothers.

 

[JessicaR]

I hug and kiss my sons every day at least once. They are 14 and 18 and tower over me. We also say I love you numerous times a day.

 

[Kies99]

My dd's are 9 and 7, but when they hit the teen years, I plan on hugging and kissing them in as many public places as I can in front of as many friends as I can!

I totally plan to be the embarrassing dad!

 

[Tink9721]

I'm 17, parents divorced, live with my mom. I hug my mom every day and we always say "I love you" before bed and when we both leave the house in the morning. I hug and kiss my dad whenever I see him. Every time we talk on the phone(every day, sometimes multiple times) even when it's just a quick "I'll pick you up in 5 minutes" phone call, we say "I love you." With some people, I prefer no physical contact, but with other people, I hug them all the time. I guess it depends on how comfortable I am with the person. I hug most of my extended family, especially my cousin(who is basically like my sister). I hug her every time I see her.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

My 13yo is the type that is mortified at the thought of anyone finding out she has parents. She won't hug or kiss us anymore (though she still says "I love you" when saying good night or goodbye, as long as it's just the family around). She won't let us hug or kiss her either, but sometimes we (jokingly) force a kiss or hug on her, and while she protests, she is laughing, too. She does stuff like lean on a shoulder, sit really close on the couch, etc, but it has to be on her terms. She usually tries to walk a few feet away from us in public, especially the mall, where she's constantly scanning the crowd and texting her friends to make sure none of them are there. Then every once in a while, she'll do something wacky, like take her dad's hand and skip with him down the aisles of Costco.

It's OK. I remember being like that. We know she loves us, and one day she'll become more affectionate again, just like I did with my parents.

 

[Riverhill]

My DD is 16 and hugs her father and I all the time. We refer to them as ATTACK HUGS because she always seems to catch us off guard and almost knocks us over. My DS is 14 and I have to be more proactive to get a hug but at least he never pulls away first.

 

[Tosie]

Every day! DS will be 15 next month and luckily for me he is still affectionate.

 

[SpecialK]

At least once a day.

 

[Buckalew11]

Have a 17yo DD.Hugs and kisses daily. She's a hugger.

I have a 19yo nephew who has learned to be a hugger (at least to me) because I've brought him up that way.

 

[pyrxtc]

all of my children are hugged and kissed several times a day. as my family would say, that's just how we roll.... We end all phone conversations with an "I love you" and good-bye and hug and laugh together all the time. Cuddling is still important to my DD14 now too. I take it while I can.

 

[shortbun]

My 15yo son comes for a good night hug and a forehead kiss every night. Sometimes I get another chance during the day for a gentle, motherly touch. Every Saturday morning when I drop him off for his game and I go to park, I get a quick kisss from him as I yell,'play hard honey!' I read somewhere that a human needs 6 hugs a day to feel happy. I think my son would run from me if I was going in for 6 a day. I could maybe get away with it once in a while as a semi-joke. Some kids he hangs with act like their parents are pariahs. I'm glad my kid will sit next to me, ask me for a foot or head rub once in a while.