Parents going over the top with kids birthday cakes?

[SLJ6974]

Is it just me, or does it seem like many parents are just going over the top with their kids birthday parties and cakes? I mean, I have a favorite bakery on facebook that I just love to look at all their beautiful cakes and such and the things I see are just over the top. I have seen a 15-year-olds birthday cake that was as big as a wedding cake, and this morning a 3 tiered one for a 9-year-old. I mean, come on people. I do prefer not to buy my cakes from wal-mart and such because I like the homemade taste, and they certainly don't have it, so I will pay a little more for custom made birthday cakes from a good bakery. But some of these 3 and 4 tiered cakes for a 1-year-old and wedding like cakes for teens just blow my mind.

 

[brookmey]

I have a hard time seeing the really fancy cakes for kids, too, but it does make a difference for me if the cake was store bought or made by the mom.

My SIL makes beautiful cakes, some are 2 tiered, but she is not a professional and is completely self-taught. The cakes for her daughters are extravagant, but she makes them with love and because she wants to for her kids. She doesn't make these cakes because she's trying to be over the top or outdo others, she makes them because she loves her daughters. Her youngest is only 15 months so she doesn't understand yet, but my older niece is 6 and she loves her birthday cakes. She's very proud of them and that her mom made them for her.

The impression I get from a few moms I know who have bought the big, fancy cakes is that they are trying to impress and want their kids to have the best cake. This impression is based on the parents' comments. I get that some moms simply don't have the time or the skills to make these fancy cakes, but to buy them because you want your kid to have the best party and the best cake out of all their friends just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[MrsPete]

My kids've had these cakes. They LOVE their birthday cakes and take lots of time searching books and the internet for just what they want, then creating their design. Their cakes are always a big deal. I've made a merry-go-round, several castles, lots of tiered cakes (I even pop them up on a great little stand I have to make them look even nicer). My soon-to-be-18-year-old came to me yesterday saying that she wants a collection of small Disney princess cakes (similar to the Barbie cakes that she loved for so many years) this year. Her birthday is still months away.

However, I make these cakes myself. They're all from scratch -- never, never from a mix, and they're all wonderful. My kids help create the cakes too.

 

[Cindy B]

Well the 15 year olds could be for a quincenenara (sp?). That is a huge celebration- close to or on par with a bar/bat mitzvah. My kids haven't been to an any quince's but reports are the two events are very very similar.

As for bar/bat mitzvah cakes, I have seen many elaborate cakes. And to be technical, those are for 13 year olds.

Some people just like to show off. Even they want to show their presentation or baking skills or they just want to show that they can get an Ace of Cakes cake.

There is nothing wrong with either. My friend up until recently was a Space Shuttle engineer- now shes a stay at home mom. Her daughter turned 3 and she wanted a space shuttle cake. So my engineer-turned full time mom-made a beautiful from scratch 3D model of the Space Shuttle. It was very impressive- she even had the cake detach into separate sections.

 

[englishteacha]

My mom made us nice cakes, but nothing as extravagant as you describe. She was self taught, but with 8 kids, you get lots of practice making birthday cakes! To me, at least, it seems like it's becoming pretty rare for a parent to make his/her child's birthday cake. My mom made mine for my 30th birthday...homemade chocolate cake....mmmm. I plan on making my child's birthday cakes. They won't be fancy but they'll be yummy!

 

[Patience]

No way would I pay more than $50 for a birthday party cake. Luckily for me, I found a hidden gem in a local grocery store bakery. She is a wonderful cake decorator and has made me several custom cakes that are gorgeous AND inexpensive! She made a two tier black and white cake with gorgeous scrolled hand piping (modeled on the plates I used) for my niece's bridal shower- for $40. She also made my daughter a two tier black and hot pink zebra striped cake for her sweet sixteen party- for $35. This year, I have already talked to her about making a cake to look like a huge strawberry for my younger daughter's birthday party this spring which we are going to have at a local pick-your-own strawberry farm (they have a picnic shelter we are renting). The cake inside will be strawberry of course!

 

[SLJ6974]

I wonder just what most people pay for these lavish cakes?

 

[eeyorethegreat]

Wow I make a cake throw some sprinkles on and the kids are happy. We don't even have big parties. Just the six of us plus my Mom who lives nearby. They get to pick what they want for dinner and the flavor of icecream and cake. I wonder if my kids are going to feel like they were deprived as children for not having all the sops pulled out for their birthdays?

 

[Maddies Mama]

I think if they can afford it and that's what they want, more power to them. It's not for me, personally. I make my daughter's cake because of a food allergy. It doesn't look gorgeous, but I always get compliments on the taste and no one ever knows until I tell them that it's dairy free

 

[Reddy]

I just do cupcakes - half don't even get frosted (one son doesn't eat frosting)

my opinion - if that's want you want to do & can afford it (no credit card for it or gifts) then go for it

 

[crisi]

I think if they can afford it and that's what they want, more power to them. It's not for me, personally. I make my daughter's cake because of a food allergy. It doesn't look gorgeous, but I always get compliments on the taste and no one ever knows until I tell them that it's dairy free

Yes and no. I think you have to be careful on what you give your kids because you can "afford it." We've been careful and our son still has a slight case of affluenza. I don't think my kids will leave home, go to college, get their first job, and be able to throw catered parties - so even though we could, we pick up our fruit and cheese trays at Costco for our parties. If this is a pattern of indulgence, you aren't doing any favors to your kids - unless there is generational wealth. If its a one off thing, then it can be fun.

(But a fifteenth birthday for a girl is a HUGE deal in Latino cultures - bar mitzvah or high school graduation or even a small wedding huge).

 

[Gnomegirl]

I'm one of those crazy moms that has crazy birthdays. I am known for my parties and try to outdo myself each year.

But, and this is big, I am creative and CHEAP. My friends spends hundreds on parties for their kids and they don't even look like they did. It's because they went to a party store or catalog and bought whatever belonged with the theme.

On the other hand, my girls decide on a theme months in advance and I start shopping for it. And like I said - I'm CHEAP. But you can't tell.

As for cakes I tend toward cupcakes. I have done extravagant cakes in the past but I made them. It all depends on where you live I think and what the culture is.

I always throw this in as a defense about the parties I give. My birthday is a few days before Christmas and not once did I have a party. And most of the time my cake had Santa on it.

 

[North of Mouse]

I agree OP, haven't been too concerned with the cakes as much as with the parties and expected gifts themselves. There are some areas where the b'day invitation reads that you are invited to "so & so's" party, and by the way, it is at the "xyz" amusement park - or other place requiring admission- just so you know there will be admission for you and your child That is so tacky - plus a lot of families cannot afford that plus a gift (which they are expected to be more expensive also). What do you tell your little "Suzy" when they can't go?? What do you tell the "invitee" when your child can't go?? IMO, either pay for all that are to attend, or have it where there is no admission required. And I know for a fact this is happening more in a lot of areas and are a big concern.

 

[ceecee]

We've been careful and our son still has a slight case of affluenza.

(

So true!!! Never heard the term before, but it is right on the mark.

 

[candielips]

I agree OP, haven't been too concerned with the cakes as much as with the parties and expected gifts themselves. There are some areas where the b'day invitation reads that you are invited to "so & so's" party, and by the way, it is at the "xyz" amusement park - or other place requiring admission- just so you know there will be admission for you and your child That is so tacky - plus a lot of families cannot afford that plus a gift (which they are expected to be more expensive also). What do you tell your little "Suzy" when they can't go?? What do you tell the "invitee" when your child can't go?? IMO, either pay for all that are to attend, or have it where there is no admission required. And I know for a fact this is happening more in a lot of areas and are a big concern.

Wow! I cannot believe that someone would have the audacity to do that. I ahve wanted to throw my DD's party at the local zoo but cannot afford for all the kids parents to get in as well, so I didnt do it.

 

[crisi]

I'm one of those crazy moms that has crazy birthdays. I am known for my parties and try to outdo myself each year.

But, and this is big, I am creative and CHEAP. My friends spends hundreds on parties for their kids and they don't even look like they did. It's because they went to a party store or catalog and bought whatever belonged with the theme.

On the other hand, my girls decide on a theme months in advance and I start shopping for it. And like I said - I'm CHEAP. But you can't tell.

As for cakes I tend toward cupcakes. I have done extravagant cakes in the past but I made them. It all depends on where you live I think and what the culture is.

I always throw this in as a defense about the parties I give. My birthday is a few days before Christmas and not once did I have a party. And most of the time my cake had Santa on it.

Going to a lot of effort is different than spending a lot of money. We did a "mystery party" for my daughter a few years ago. I sewed her a 1860s style dress, it was a big to do - and a lot of work. Doing a lot of work teaches your kids "look what you can do with some money, some creativity, and some effort." Calling a bakery for a $300 cake just says "if you are going to have a nice birthday, its going to cost money."

 

[ekatiel]

I make crazy cakes for my kids. My ODS has food allergies, so I've always had to make his cakes. I tend to over compensate at his birthday by making him (and now my YDS, too) awesome cakes, since the poor kid has to bring his own cupcake to EVERY SINGLE birthday party he attends . I figure at his party, he should have an awesome, safe cake . It takes me ALL DAY to make my kiddos' birthday cakes, but they really do love them, and they are super cool (if I say so myself!). The time and effort is worth it to me-- besides, it's a fun creative outlet. --Katie

 

[mjkacmom]

My friend spent $1000+ on a cake for her dd's 16th birthday from Carlos' Bakery. She could easily afford it, so more power to her. Me, I'm a costco cake kind of gal!

 

[evandmp]

Is it just me, or does it seem like many parents are just going over the top with their kids birthday parties and cakes? I mean, I have a favorite bakery on facebook that I just love to look at all their beautiful cakes and such and the things I see are just over the top. I have seen a 15-year-olds birthday cake that was as big as a wedding cake, and this morning a 3 tiered one for a 9-year-old. I mean, come on people. I do prefer not to buy my cakes from wal-mart and such because I like the homemade taste, and they certainly don't have it, so I will pay a little more for custom made birthday cakes from a good bakery. But some of these 3 and 4 tiered cakes for a 1-year-old and wedding like cakes for teens just blow my mind.

Like another poster said, the 15 is most likely for a Quienzeanera. The cakes often resemble a wedding cake. It's a tradition for many hispanic cultures.

I've never bought my kids any cakes like you describe but I think they are beautiful and I love looking at them. I understand the desire to wow ones kids on their big day. Same thing as taking your kids to a theme park for their bday or buying them an electronic gadget.

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

I always throw this in as a defense about the parties I give. My birthday is a few days before Christmas and not once did I have a party. And most of the time my cake had Santa on it.

Funny how our childhood shapes us as parents. I say more power to you and I am sure you get a lot of satisfaction and joy from your parties.