Parents being mean to their kids

[meb]

We were standing in line for pooh and their was this little girl waiting on her mom and family and she decided to stop and wait on them well that was a mistake b/c when they got to her she got yelled at all the way to pooh we were in front of them and she kept saying see we would be way up there if you wouldnt have got out and it was really sad I dont see why parents have to yell at their kids for something simple like getting out of line I mean it was over and done with and it just calls attention to them that is one thing i can hardly stand to see someone do is to yell at their kid for something stupid

 

[luvthatduck]

That is the longest sentence I have read in quite a while.

 

[*Fantasia*]

That is the longest sentence I have read in quite a while.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

We were standing in line for pooh and their was this little girl waiting on her mom and family and she decided to stop and wait on them well that was a mistake b/c when they got to her she got yelled at all the way to pooh we were in front of them and she kept saying see we would be way up there if you wouldnt have got out and it was really sad I dont see why parents have to yell at their kids for something simple like getting out of line I mean it was over and done with and it just calls attention to them that is one thing i can hardly stand to see someone do is to yell at their kid for something stupid

I have to say something here. You do not know the situation here, other than the kid got out of line, and they had to start over. Maybe, this was 14th time that day she got out of a line that had a long wait, maybe the family was getting tired of waiting in a line, getting halfway there, or whatever, the kid pops out of line, they chase after her, they have to start at the end of the line again.

My DD has a FASINATION with public restrooms. I have no idea what it is about them, but we cannot walk past a public restroom without her announcing she needs to go. I KNOW she does not need to go. It took me a long time to figure her out. We would be in WDW, heading to some ride, and she needs to go, we stop, take her to the bathroom, for what? I wait, and wait, I hear NOTHING coming from her stall. Meanwhile, we could of been there by now. I ask what is taking so long, she then announces, she doesn't have to go. After awhile, it gets BEYOND frustrating. BTW, this happens other places besides WDW.

Last trip to WDW, we were heading to Mexico for the boat ride, of course we pass the bathrooms. DD stops everyone in their tracks, to announce she needs to go. even though we just had a potty stop after we entered Epcot. I told her no, we were going, she could wait. She starts to hold between her legs and dance around, she really needs to go she whines. I still say no and keep walking. she starts to cry, and I am beyond frustrated, but I give her the benefit of a doubt, AGAIN, and take her to the bathroom. We go in, and sure enough...NOTHING. This after I was stern with her about how I knew she just wanted to go into the bathroom, and she insisted she had to go. I demanded she come out, and I was letting her have it. (yelling at her) There were some women there, but I was not paying attention to them. As she was washing her hands I was telling her that she was not going to announce any potty breaks for the rest of the day, so when anyone had to go, she better make sure she went then, because she was not going to have another chance. I am sure those women thought I was being terrible to her. I had had it!

Later that day, I did have to go tot he bathroom, and so did she ( she is not a camel after all )We were at the sinks washing our hands, and two women were there, and I heard one say 'oh , there is that poor little girl that was being yelled at this morning"

I wanted to tell them to MIND THEIR BUSINESS. They had no idea what I had been through with my DD, and having to drop everything to take her to the bathroom.

In another life, I might enjoy spending my days going from one public toilet to another, but right now,it is not my idea of fun.

So, please do not judge someone because they are upset at their kid. You don't know what might have happened in all the earlier hours of the day, for her parents to reach that point.

 

[iwannabeminnie]

Disney1fan,

I totally agree. Most parents who care about their kids enough to shell out the big bucks to take them to WDW are not mean parents, but we all have our limits. There are very few times when you can take a 3 minute segment of someone's day and know what the entire situation is.

This being said, I will confess that I popped my middle child right in the mouth in the middle of Kroger one morning. He called me a "mother****er" because I told him he couldn't have something. I have to admit that it was a total reflex. I had never heard him say anything like that before (apparently learned it from some neighbor kids) and he was trying to shock me. Well, he did, and he paid for it. Now, fifteen years later he laughs about it (sheepishly) and tells everybody he deserved it. The lady who walked around the corner of the aisle just as my palm reached his mouth didn't think so. She was going to call the cops and the whole nine yards. My son starts bawling thinking his mother is going to prison for the rest of her years and is totally traumatized by it. Who was meaner to him? Me or the "well intentioned" by-stander?

 

[shellybaxter]

Just my opinion, but its not okay to yell at a child. It doesn't help anything and they learn that the only way to deal with issues is to yell at people. So what if the child had jumped out of line 14 times. There are other ways of dealing with it. Everyone but one person stay in the line and have the child not ride that ride as a natural consequence. Again its just my opinion, but I think your consequence for your child's bathroom break issue was good. I think it did no good to yell at her, unless that the way she has already learned to behave (someone has to yell at her before she gets it)

I've lost it a time or two myself. People should judge me by it, I was wrong. Young children, or adults, neither one deserves to be yelled at

 

[RobinMarie]

I've seen this situation a ton of times, and realize these parents are frustrated. However, it would stink for parents to do something regrettable in a moment of frustration.

 

[GinaGrumpyDwarf]

I have to say something here. You do not know the situation here, other than the kid got out of line, and they had to start over. Maybe, this was 14th time that day she got out of a line that had a long wait, maybe the family was getting tired of waiting in a line, getting halfway there, or whatever, the kid pops out of line, they chase after her, they have to start at the end of the line again.

My DD has a FASINATION with public restrooms. I have no idea what it is about them, but we cannot walk past a public restroom without her announcing she needs to go. I KNOW she does not need to go. It took me a long time to figure her out. We would be in WDW, heading to some ride, and she needs to go, we stop, take her to the bathroom, for what? I wait, and wait, I hear NOTHING coming from her stall. Meanwhile, we could of been there by now. I ask what is taking so long, she then announces, she doesn't have to go. After awhile, it gets BEYOND frustrating. BTW, this happens other places besides WDW.

Last trip to WDW, we were heading to Mexico for the boat ride, of course we pass the bathrooms. DD stops everyone in their tracks, to announce she needs to go. even though we just had a potty stop after we entered Epcot. I told her no, we were going, she could wait. She starts to hold between her legs and dance around, she really needs to go she whines. I still say no and keep walking. she starts to cry, and I am beyond frustrated, but I give her the benefit of a doubt, AGAIN, and take her to the bathroom. We go in, and sure enough...NOTHING. This after I was stern with her about how I knew she just wanted to go into the bathroom, and she insisted she had to go. I demanded she come out, and I was letting her have it. (yelling at her) There were some women there, but I was not paying attention to them. As she was washing her hands I was telling her that she was not going to announce any potty breaks for the rest of the day, so when anyone had to go, she better make sure she went then, because she was not going to have another chance. I am sure those women thought I was being terrible to her. I had had it!

Later that day, I did have to go tot he bathroom, and so did she ( she is not a camel after all )We were at the sinks washing our hands, and two women were there, and I heard one say 'oh , there is that poor little girl that was being yelled at this morning"

I wanted to tell them to MIND THEIR BUSINESS. They had no idea what I had been through with my DD, and having to drop everything to take her to the bathroom.

In another life, I might enjoy spending my days going from one public toilet to another, but right now,it is not my idea of fun.

So, please do not judge someone because they are upset at their kid. You don't know what might have happened in all the earlier hours of the day, for her parents to reach that point.

AMEN!

 

[GinaGrumpyDwarf]

Disney1fan,

I totally agree. Most parents who care about their kids enough to shell out the big bucks to take them to WDW are not mean parents, but we all have our limits. There are very few times when you can take a 3 minute segment of someone's day and know what the entire situation is.

This being said, I will confess that I popped my middle child right in the mouth in the middle of Kroger one morning. He called me a "mother****er" because I told him he couldn't have something. I have to admit that it was a total reflex. I had never heard him say anything like that before (apparently learned it from some neighbor kids) and he was trying to shock me. Well, he did, and he paid for it. Now, fifteen years later he laughs about it (sheepishly) and tells everybody he deserved it. The lady who walked around the corner of the aisle just as my palm reached his mouth didn't think so. She was going to call the cops and the whole nine yards. My son starts bawling thinking his mother is going to prison for the rest of her years and is totally traumatized by it. Who was meaner to him? Me or the "well intentioned" by-stander?

I usually take my DD by the arm...or hair sometimes, and i'll bring her into a room of some sort...THEN do what i want with her. I'm tired of other people looking at me and judging me and my parenting skills. who died and made YOU doctor spock?

 

[iwannabeminnie]

I've seen this situation a ton of times, and realize these parents are frustrated. However, it would stink for parents to do something regrettable in a moment of frustration.

It would also be inhuman. The last time I looked there aren't too many people around who have never done anything they regretted. That in itself is a valuable lesson for children to learn. We all make mistakes and do things we wish we hadn't done or could have done differently. When parents make mistakes we are teaching our children about being "real" and how to deal with mistakes and make up for them. "PERFECTION" in anybody but Mary Poppins is unrealistic and leaves unrealistic standards for anybody to live up to.

I'm just curious, for those of you who think yelling at a child is always wrong.... How many children do you have?

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Just my opinion, but its not okay to yell at a child. It doesn't help anything and they learn that the only way to deal with issues is to yell at people. So what if the child had jumped out of line 14 times. There are other ways of dealing with it. Everyone but one person stay in the line and have the child not ride that ride as a natural consequence. Again its just my opinion, but I think your consequence for your child's bathroom break issue was good. I think it did no good to yell at her, unless that the way she has already learned to behave (someone has to yell at her before she gets it)

I've lost it a time or two myself. People should judge me by it, I was wrong. Young children, or adults, neither one deserves to be yelled at

So now, not only did the child cause the family to wait double the amount of times in lines 14 times a day,(per my fictitious example) but it would be better for someone else in the family to lose out on the ride, to give the child a better consequence than being yelled at?? Someone has to sit out with the child, right? Oh, so lets do the baby swap, spending even more time at the ride.

I am sorry, but yes, sometimes, yelling IS what gets my kids attention. If that is learned behavior, so what. No one ever died from being yelled at. Oh, and the day that yelling becomes another form of child abuse in this country, is when I pack my bags and move to Ireland.

 

[Nite0wl71]

I have to agree about yelling. I have 5 kids and sometimes I had to yell just to be heard.

Also listening to parents for a few minutes will not tell you anything. It's like coming up on the end of a conversation, and we all know how bad it is to only hear one small part of a conversation.

Disney1fan2002--Your potato is now in Chicago.

 

[melanie03ok]

Without knowing the whole situation, I'd be much less judgemental than if I were in the know.

Sometimes raising my voice is the only way I can get my kids to listen to me. Take today for instance. I was in the store with all three kids. They know they are not allowed to run around and play in the racks. Both girls were behaving, but my son (6) would not listen. I finally had to put him in the cart where he proceeded to stand up, repeatedly. No matter how many times I told him to sit down, he would stand back up within a minute or two. Finally after I don't know how many times of me telling him to sit down, explaining I didn't want him to fall out of the cart, I yelled at him to sit down and now. He listened.

Same day, different kid and now at the grocery store. This time it was my youngest daughter (5). Once again, knows the rules of no running around. I gave her two polite chances to prove she could behave, third time I finally had resort to raising my voice so she knew I meant business.

So, if you are in WDW over Christmas and see a woman raising her voice at her child(ren), it just might be me. Please refrain from passing judgement because you do not know the circumstances that have brought me to this point.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Disney1fan,

I totally agree. Most parents who care about their kids enough to shell out the big bucks to take them to WDW are not mean parents, but we all have our limits. There are very few times when you can take a 3 minute segment of someone's day and know what the entire situation is.

This being said, I will confess that I popped my middle child right in the mouth in the middle of Kroger one morning. He called me a "mother****er" because I told him he couldn't have something. I have to admit that it was a total reflex. I had never heard him say anything like that before (apparently learned it from some neighbor kids) and he was trying to shock me. Well, he did, and he paid for it. Now, fifteen years later he laughs about it (sheepishly) and tells everybody he deserved it. The lady who walked around the corner of the aisle just as my palm reached his mouth didn't think so. She was going to call the cops and the whole nine yards. My son starts bawling thinking his mother is going to prison for the rest of her years and is totally traumatized by it. Who was meaner to him? Me or the "well intentioned" by-stander?

 

[TinkerbellMama]

So now, not only did the child cause the family to wait double the amount of times in lines 14 times a day,(per my fictitious example) but it would be better for someone else in the family to lose out on the ride, to give the child a better consequence than being yelled at?? Someone has to sit out with the child, right? Oh, so lets do the baby swap, spending even more time at the ride.

I am sorry, but yes, sometimes, yelling IS what gets my kids attention. If that is learned behavior, so what. No one ever died from being yelled at. Oh, and the day that yelling becomes another form of child abuse in this country, is when I pack my bags and move to Ireland.

It already is, in some forms. I am serious. I have worked in social services in three states. Pack those bags!! (just kidding )

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Just my opinion, but its not okay to yell at a child. It doesn't help anything and they learn that the only way to deal with issues is to yell at people. So what if the child had jumped out of line 14 times. There are other ways of dealing with it. Everyone but one person stay in the line and have the child not ride that ride as a natural consequence. Again its just my opinion, but I think your consequence for your child's bathroom break issue was good. I think it did no good to yell at her, unless that the way she has already learned to behave (someone has to yell at her before she gets it)

I've lost it a time or two myself. People should judge me by it, I was wrong. Young children, or adults, neither one deserves to be yelled at

Gonna have to agree here. I HATE yelling. Ugh. And wouldn't ya know it, my MIL is a yeller. Yep, she yells about everything. Heck, her normal "talking voice" is practically yelling. I can't stand it. At least now that we have ds I can tell her she is disturbing the baby when she yells, but one of these days I am gonna lose it on her, and (not yell but) tell her straight out that I find it unacceptable. I understand that people do "lose it" from time to time, but to me, yelling ALL the time like she does, or yelling at a kid repeatedly like some people I know do, sucks and is very wrong. JMO!

 

[undertheseas]

It's kinda like when I have raised the kids to think "shut up" is a bad word. Then you tell them to "hush", "quiet down", "whisper", etc and then after countless reminders you lose it and the only thing that gets their attention is to yell "SHUT UP!" It gets their attention I know I yell at my kids in the parks when they stop holding my hand, I am so freaked out about losing them in the crowd and it doesn't matter how many times you tell them why it's important, they want to let go and go their own way. If I over react I always apologize and explain that I'm just worried about their safety.

 

[AnninIowa]

Meb...I agree with you 100%!!! Anyone who would yell at a CHILD for losing their place in line at an amusement park is the one who is out of line! Yelling just creates choas...the parent yells, the child gets upset and acts out more, the parents keeps yelling...it's just a vicious cycle. CHILL OUT...take a 10 second break...and realize how blessed you are to have a precious child in your care. I would bet that any parents who has lost a child would tell you that if they could they would take back all the times they yelled for silly reasons. When a parent yells like this, THEY are the ones out of control, not the child. Just because an adult is frustrated does not give them the right to inflict harm - and, yes, I believe yelling CAN cause harm - on a child.

 

[DeirdreTours]

I have yelled many times and feel sure, with three kids, that I will yell again. But, I don't think it is the best way to handle children. I am pretty sure that when I yell it is to vent my own anger/frustration, not because I have thoughtfully considered the options and decided that yelling is what will effectively discipline them.. So, I strive to yell less. To speak firmly but gently and to remember that the trip isn't about rushing as quickly as I can from attraction to attraction, regardless of the feelings of the other people (even children) in my party.

And, the poster who said that they drag their kid to a private room by the hair and then "do want I want to her", makes my skin crawl. If you are concerned about what other people think, than clearly you KNOW what you are doing to that child is wrong. Take a breath. Remember that this child is all you will leave in the world. And find a gentler way to get your point across.

 

[eeyore45]

This being said, I will confess that I popped my middle child right in the mouth in the middle of Kroger one morning. He called me a "mother****er" just as my palm reached his mouth didn't think so. She was going to call the cops and the whole nine yards. My son starts bawling thinking his mother is going to prison for the rest of her years and is totally traumatized by it. Who was meaner to him? Me or the "well intentioned" by-stander?

ok,gotta ask... Did he ever 'cuss' at you again????????

(and I have to add btdt! My dh (ok long story getting to this point involving a bike accident and a 2yr old, lots of blood, when it got cleaned up, calmed down) had put DS 4 in his room, ds was screaming, jumping, etc, dh goes to open the door at the same time dh opens it - smacking ds in the head, he falls on a toy truck... needless to say, I now have 2 banged up DS ! I worked at a Preschool/daycare... ds teacher says "what happened" ds says "Daddy did it"!! If I hadnt worked there, they would've called DCFS, as that ds is hearing impaired and had very limited verbal skills!! but I had been discussing the events with the director, then the teacher went to "report" my dh to the director!!

Dh to this day - HATES this memory!! (15 years ago!!)