Parents are coming with us, now what?

[Disneydreamer5]

Long story short. My family of 7 has only been to WDW once back in 05. We were suppose to go in 07 but DH was injured and we had to cancel 2 weeks before said trip. Now we have be planning this trip for some time and now we are going in Oct for 6 nights/7days staying at CBR(last trip was ASMov) we have 6 day base tickets with water parks. We are all very excited and have been looking forward to this trip for a long time now.

Here's the thing. I tried to invite parents many times but they never wanted to go. Now my mother is sickly. She has a hard time walking and especially for long periods of time. My dad also has a bad back and can get around much better then mom but only for so long. Dad is 68 and mom is 63.

My dad is one for sending mom with us to the store or overnight to give himself a break cause she can be a lot of work. This is fine normally but I am afraid this is going to turn into a working vacation and my family has been through so much and I want this trip to be great for everyone, my parents too but we truly need this trip.

I don't want to tell them they can't come cause I honestly do want them too be there. I know they will have a nice time & the kids will love having them there to share this with.

I am just concerned that they are going to seriously slow us down. I know how that must sound but there is just so much we plan on doing and as I said we dont get to vacation often so I just want it to be everything it can be.

For those of you who have older parents, that have some handicap, and who bring them along to Disney how to do you do this.
I need a new game plan and a way to explain things to my parents to they know I want them to come but there are just certain things they won't be able to do and some times when they will have to be on their own so to speak.

I am so worried over this I don't know what to do.
I don't want them to think I don't want them there cause I do but......

 

[mjkacmom]

My dad was 68 and in poor shape when we went last. He rented a scooter, and it worked out great.

 

[williamson_ja]

We have parents coming with us this time. This is what we are doing.
1. mil is renting a scooter.
2. we taught them how to use disney transportation and told them that they don't have to stay with us the whole time. If they are tired or need a break, they are more than welcome to go back to their room for much needed rest.
3. I made all the dining reservations and made some separate just for my family. We love them dearly, but I know we will want breaks from each other. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to spend every second together.
4. we talked openly about our expectations.

We leave in a couple of weeks. Hopefully this will work for us.

 

[hillview]

I think get into the mindset that it doesn't have to be everyone all together all the time. Maybe you all can get out of the hotel early, get a head start, meet them for lunch at an ADR etc. With my grandma, we took her for a day then let her stay at the resort for a day (she loved it) we went to dinner with her that night etc.

ITA with the scooter idea. I'd set expectations and discuss well in advance.
/hillary

 

[emma'smom]

We've taken my parents twice. You should have them rent scooters from someplace like Randy's or Walker mobility (someplace offsite). This way they will deliver the scooters to the hotel and they'll have them the entire time they are there. If your dad is more mobile, you could just get one for your mom and let you dad decide if he needs something at the parks (and then just rent a wheel chair there). Scooters make YOUR life easier because you don't have to push them everywhere and they aren't dependent on you.

Anyway, what we found was that my parents joined us for some of the park time..but when they were tired, they stayed at the hotel and relaxed (sometimes just my mom stayed). Sometimes one of the kids would stay back with my mom and we would take the rest into the parks.

We all had dinner together each night (either at a park or at a hotel) and we would set out early for the park dinners. We did rent a car (rather than depend entirely on Disney transportation). This made it easier to deal with the scooter and my parents could just go right to whatever hotel we were eating at (rather than taking a bus, transferring at a park, etc).

I think the bottom line is that you'll just have to adjust your expectations a bit---but also know that you (and your kids) are also GAINING important memories of having spent magical times in WDW with their grandparents. What amazing pictures you'll get to take that will be even more priceless when your parents are no longer around!

 

[Disneydreamer5]

OMG I know. I am as I said so excited that they decided to come but I just want to make everyone happy and as the saying goes ,, you cant' please everyone all the time.
My mom does have a hard time getting around but she is the kind of person that should go back and rest but will refuse and send my father back to the room leaving us to take care of her.
Like I said when we are home that is fine but this is our only vacation!
I will have to talk to my dad and tell him there are going to be times when we wil be doing things she or they simply can not and I don't want it to be an issue when we are there and I certainly don't want them to feel unwated or that we don't want them to be a part of it cause we all do.
My kids are very close to my parents always have been so its great that they are joining us and I know the memories are going to be so amazing for all of us. Thanks for the imput everyone.

 

[Nancyg56]

I would talk to both of them, explaining that Disney can be exhausting. Tell them that you want them to enjoy their entire stay so that it is important that they plan some rest time into the trip and that you will help them to do that. You can tell them that when they are back at the resort you and the family will plan activities that you know they would not enjoy. Make sure that your Mom knows that there are several activities that the kids want them to participate in throughout the trip and that they will be sad if their GP's overdo and then miss out.

I am a Nana and I know that I would do whatever it took to please my DGD, even going back to rest.

 

[emma'smom]

One other thought...which may not work this time since the trip is so close, but for others. You might consider planning for your parents to arrive a few days after you (or leave a few days earlier). We did this with my parents (they fly stand-by for free because my brother is a pilot)....so we had a day or so as a family before they arrived and also had everything ready for them (knew the lay of the land, bought their park tickets, etc). They were with us for 5 nights and then they flew home and we stayed through the week-end.

 

[micheleq]

One other thought...which may not work this time since the trip is so close, but for others. You might consider planning for your parents to arrive a few days after you (or leave a few days earlier). We did this with my parents (they fly stand-by for free because my brother is a pilot)....so we had a day or so as a family before they arrived and also had everything ready for them (knew the lay of the land, bought their park tickets, etc). They were with us for 5 nights and then they flew home and we stayed through the week-end.

This is a fantastic idea that I agree with. On our trip, my parents left early for a 9am flight, but our flight wasn't until 8pm. It gave us a little extra time solo with our girls.

 

[auralia]

if you were to rent scooters it would run about 90$ a day for two from disney but i bet you can find them cheaper through an off site source. a friend w/ bad knees used one last time she was there and well there were lots of rude people who were mean to her about it (please mind you really couldn't tell why she needed the scooter so people thought she was mooching) but asside from that it worked vry well for her

 

[cogero]

We are going in November with my parents and my sister and her fiance and my family of 4.

My parents are both 67 and are in relatively good health with the exception of high blood pressure.

We have 3 meals planned for our entire party the rest of the time the meals are just for my family of 4.

I am also going to hand out an itinerary of where we are going each day and they are more than welcome to join us but don't have to. We are DVC members and do not do the parks commando style we do want we want and if something doesn't get done we know we will be back soon.

I think you need to sit your parents both down before you go and discuss what you expect.

Good luck and I know you will all have fun.

 

[seashoreCM]

Here's the thing. I tried to invite parents many times but they never wanted to go. ...Now my mother is sickly. She has a hard time walking and especially for long periods of time. My dad also has a bad back and can get around much better then mom but only for so long. ...

I honestly do want them to be there. I know they will have a nice time & the kids will love having them there to share this with. ... but......

Sorry, no buts this time.

The primary purpose of this particular trip is entertaining your parents.

The secondary purpose of this trip is entertaining your children.

The tertiary purpose of this trip is entertaining yourself.

You don't have to spend the whole vacation with them but do try to make things easier for your parents such as renting wheelchairs or scooters.

Don't go to your parents' funerals wishing you had had a chance to see them enjoy a Disney vacation.

 

[Disneydreamer5]

WOW! Ouch!! That last one hurt.
I am so overly concerned about my parents, their health, their feelings and them enjoying themselves that I am making myself crazy.
I am going to take everyone advice and this weekend I am going to hand them our litinary and see what they think.
If they want to come to the water parks then I will set them up on the beach area and we will go do our thing.
When we go to the parks we will rent a wheelchair for mom and take turns pushing her. When we go on rides and its something they can't do I will tell them to go see a show and we will meet back up afterwards.
They will join us for dinner and if they are up to it they will come to whatever park we are heading too.
We will just make the best of it.
I know they will have a great time but they have only been to Disneyland so they don't understand the difference. Disney World is so much bigger and before I went I had no idea even though people told me I didn't get it until I seen it for myself.
I want them there as I said but we don't get to vacation, in 19 years this will only be family vacation #2 so it is about my family!
Had we decided from the get go to all go together that would be different but we were going and then they decided to join us so I have to gently make them understand that their are going to be some things they just can't do.
Wish me luck.

 

[emma'smom]

P.S. My mom was just happy to sit with a book in the parks. She didn't need to be entertained all of the time. People watching was entertainment enough and she would go through some of the shop while we were on rides. I knew she didn't mind this, so I didn't feel like I had to entertain her 24/7. (note- Even at 37, sometimes I'm just happy strolling through a store while dh and my kids are on a ride).

OP- I would STRONGLY suggest you go the scooter route for you mom instead of a wheel chair. Renting off-site will reduce your costs---and it will give her some degree of independence that a wheel-chair will not (and give you a break from pushing).

Also, with all of the fuss that you read on the DIS, we have never really experienced any prejudice or uncomfortable moments with her on a scooter.

In fact, one year my dad was getting tired and rented a scooter for AK. We had two scooters and a Sit and Stand stroller, and two adults in line for the Safari...we we're literally a parade! No problems at all---just smiling, helpful cast members who directed us in where to go.

 

[crisi]

One other thought...which may not work this time since the trip is so close, but for others. You might consider planning for your parents to arrive a few days after you (or leave a few days earlier). We did this with my parents (they fly stand-by for free because my brother is a pilot)....so we had a day or so as a family before they arrived and also had everything ready for them (knew the lay of the land, bought their park tickets, etc). They were with us for 5 nights and then they flew home and we stayed through the week-end.

We always do this with guests - we give ourselves an extra day at least somewhere. Even if its guests that can keep up with us and are really compatible. At some point, we want to have OUR family vacation - the one that doesn't include my sister or his mother or my friend.

And we try and set expectations that we won't always be together. It didn't work once and we had the barnacle guests - but it generally does work. Especially if you are travelling with people who can't keep up, arrange days so they get rest while you continue to tour - early mornings where you meet them later, evenings where they turn in early while you keep going. Afternoons where some of the group goes back for a rest.