Parent-Teacher Conferences (inspired by another thread)

[JoyG]

I'm a teacher and I'd have to say maybe 25% of my conferences are with both parents together...most of the time it's with just the mom. Once in a while I'll get both parents that come in at different times in cases of divorce.


With my own kids, I usually go unless I absolutely can't make it, then dh will go. I would rather he not go unless it's an emergency b/c he's not comprehensive enough when it comes to telling me "every word the teacher said."

 

[DaisyD]

DH always goes to the parent teacher conferences, plays, and open houses. We fight over field trips. He doesn't bother with the Meet the Teacher though. The other thread was about Meet the Teacher and NOT about parent/ teacher conferences. There is a HUGE difference and everyone on that thread would go to those. Open house is a different thing also. That is where parents can sit in on the child's class during a regular school day and watch.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

As a teacher, I just want to say that I think it is wonderful that you are all so concerned about your children's education. In the school at which I teach, on back to school night or parent teacher conferences, I will usually meet a parent or guardian of about 10% of my students. I teach high school and on average have about 140-160 students enrolled. I will usually meet maybe 20 parents at the most.

Whether it is one parent, or two, or an aunt, uncle or grandparent with whom I am meeting, I am just happy to know that the student has a parent who cares about him/her *before* there's a problem.

 

[pigletz]

As a teacher, I just want to say that I think it is wonderful that you are all so concerned about your children's education. In the school at which I teach, on back to school night or parent teacher conferences, I will usually meet a parent or guardian of about 10% of my students. I teach high school and on average have about 140-160 students enrolled. I will usually meet maybe 20 parents at the most.

Whether it is one parent, or two, or an aunt, uncle or grandparent with whom I am meeting, I am just happy to know that the student has a parent who cares about him/her *before* there's a problem.

I was just going to say the same thing. I'm just happy that someone shows up. I've had times during meet the teacher night where there is no one in my room. It's sad to think that not one parent/guardian from that class could make it. I have to say I probably have just as many men there as women though. I sometimes have both parents or a parent and stepparent but just as often I have kids being raised by uncles, older brothers and grandfathers. I don't look down on people who don't show up though.

 

[PaulaSue]

I think my Dh has been at 2 school things at elemtary school in 2 years. It is just so hard with his work sched.

All my girls have gone for the parent/meetings but PTO (Nicole went once) though. I wouldn't get to many if they weren't allowed.

 

[disykat]

My husband comes to everything at school that occurs when he is not working, and occasionally takes time off for things like performances, award ceremonies, etc. However, since I have a flexible schedule I purposely take a daytime slot for parent teacher conferences and usually attend those by myself. I would hate to take one of the times that are convenient to working parents when I am available to go to the daytime slots. I know from when I was teaching full time how valuable those spots are and I'm sure the teacher appreciates being able to have one less late afternoon or evening conference.

My husband meets all the teachers at some point and they all know him anyway from when he volunteers for PTA events, so I don't see any need for him to miss work to show he is interested.

 

[shortbun]

I am proud to say that on parent teacher conference night at my son's school parents flood the halls and classrooms. Even the divorced parents are often together for their children's conferences. I can not believe all the people saying their spouses never attend. I am suprised and shocked by the teachers on this board who are discouraging involvement of fathers in their children's education. It does NOT suprise me however, that our children are failing in record numbers and that the United States children are at an all time low when compared to other countries in math and other skills. Parental involvement is the number ONE thing necessary for a child to have success in school. This is not some dog and pony show-the parent teacher conference. It's about our children.

 

[aprilgail2]

At open school night-which is a back to school night thing, they tell you what to expect during the year etc..there was one father last year. For parent teacher conferences there were a few more but not many. Children are not allowed to be at either one so unless they have a neighbor,grandma or babysitter on call then one parent has to stay home with the kid while the other attends until the kids are old enough to stay by themselves. The conferences are tough, I am working that day so I have child care but I have to get out of work for 15 minutes mid day for the conference, but I manage it every year. Even when the teacher told me last year that I really didn't have to come that she was doing fine I still wanted to go and hear the good stuff LOL.

 

[Christine]

If the conference is in the evening and we don't have a sitter, just one of us will attend. There have been times when I was dead tired from working and I just sent my DH up there. There are times that I just went. Now that my son's conferences are in the middle of the day, I take off and go because I have vacation time. Any time off that my husband takes is unpaid.

 

[4chitlins]

My DH always goes to conferences as well as book fairs, shows, classroom projects, open house, sporting events etc...He works 2 jobs but always makes the time by working extra or juggling things or whatever he has to do to be able to go.We feel that it shows the kids how important what they are doing in school is to us.

 

[noodleknitter]

I would think it is a given that all parent's care about their childrens' education. To assign the idea that turning up for a mtg. means they are more so, is silly and self righteous at best, IMO.

One parent is perfectly capable of passing along the information/concerns from the mtg. It isn't rocket science.

 

[sue1013]

DH never attended conferences that were held during the day. He only attended evening things when the kids were older since someone had to stay home with them when younger. Isn't it more important whether both parents are involved with education on a daily basis than showing up for one conference a year? Actually conferences didn't inform me of anything I didn't know already. If there was a problem with my child I wouldn't wait for conferences to discuss the situation.

 

[#1hockeymom]

I am proud to say that on parent teacher conference night at my son's school parents flood the halls and classrooms. Even the divorced parents are often together for their children's conferences. I can not believe all the people saying their spouses never attend. I am suprised and shocked by the teachers on this board who are discouraging involvement of fathers in their children's education. It does NOT suprise me however, that our children are failing in record numbers and that the United States children are at an all time low when compared to other countries in math and other skills. Parental involvement is the number ONE thing necessary for a child to have success in school. This is not some dog and pony show-the parent teacher conference. It's about our children.

I don't believe any of us are discouraging involvement of fathers in their childrens' education. On the thread referenced the OP's husband was very busy at work that day. We understand busy. We understand work obligations. There will be other times to meet the teacher and discuss their child's education.

Many people have jobs which can't be juggled in order to meet early evening schedules or afternoon schedules. My own kids never had me at their afternoon conferences. WHY? I had a classroom to teach. I would have my conference on the phone with their teacher that morning or the following morning. Sorry, it wasn't a conference call to include dh, as he was at work, but I did relay all information to him.

DH works 11-14 hour days five days a week and works 45 minutes from home. Our children never thought less of him if he only made it to one conference a year. He did his best to get to the really important things in their life. We continue to play tag team with our son's conferences. Our dd graduated with honors two years ago and is doing well in college. DS has been straight A's along with participating in a vigorous sports schedule. We must have done something right!

 

[DaisyD]

Our parent teacher conferences are held over 3 days during the school day. We get 3 choices for an appointment to speak to the teacher. DH goes to these. The Meet the teacher is at night and on weekends sometimes. Most of the time he doesn't go to these. Meet the Teacher is boring and you just sit there. At least at the conferences and open house you are allowed to talk.

 

[CEDmom]

I am proud to say that on parent teacher conference night at my son's school parents flood the halls and classrooms. Even the divorced parents are often together for their children's conferences. I can not believe all the people saying their spouses never attend. I am suprised and shocked by the teachers on this board who are discouraging involvement of fathers in their children's education. It does NOT suprise me however, that our children are failing in record numbers and that the United States children are at an all time low when compared to other countries in math and other skills. Parental involvement is the number ONE thing necessary for a child to have success in school. This is not some dog and pony show-the parent teacher conference. It's about our children.

In most school district the majority of conferences are held during the day. There may be an evening or 2 set aside for parents that cannot get there during the day but that's it. As another poster said why should a family that has 1 parent home during the day or with a flexible schedule take an evening slot away from a family that cannot attend during the day.

Not one teacher on this thread said fathers shouldn't be involved in their children's education. Not being able to show up on a Tuesday afternoon for a 15 minute routine conference in no way indicates a father isn't interested or involved with his children.

There just isn't any correlation between a father missing a conference that his wife is able to attend and their child failing school.

 

[Allison]

I would think it is a given that all parent's care about their childrens' education.

Wouldn't that be great if it were true. It is certainly true of everyone who has posted here but in the big scheme of things, there are plenty of kids in the world who don't have parents that care about this kind of thing. But that is off topic from this conversation.

 

[mudnuri]

I think it's pretty closed minded to say "well, of course he goes, he cares about his kids"... obviously, but there are other families where the dad or mom is working, or the meeting is at 10am, and dad or mom can't make it with the other. it in no way means the absent parent doesnt care...crappy way to word that!

That said- My x always went. For the simple reason he owns his own business and meeting the teachers at 11am on a Wednesday is easy for him to do. It didnt cost our family any money by him being there. No vacation days were used etc. However, one of his brothers- does not attend his own childrens. huh?

now that we are no longer together, I always call him in advance and say "G has a teacher conference at 130pm on Tuesday- think you can make it?"" And if he can, he will be there, if he can't he wont. doesnt mean that he cares less about her now that he did 5 years ago.

Last year, he went to D's alone because i had a final I needed to take at the same time. No biggie. Didnt mean I didnt care about her conference.

The thing is- this board is so full of closed minds its becoming unreal!

Brandy

 

[daisyduck123]

I am suprised and shocked by the teachers on this board who are discouraging involvement of fathers in their children's education.

Nowhere in this thread has a teacher done that. We have just stated that we totally understand when only one parent (usually the mom) can make it to a school function.

 

[MareQ]

I fully expect my DH to attend every school conference as they are his children too. It's not about presenting a united front - it's about him knowing about his kids and being involved in their education as much as possible. My school will do conferences during a 2-3 day period and always has night hours so I specifically request something in the afternoon or at night and I explain that it's so DH can come as well.

 

[mickeyboat]

DH and I both work outside the home, and we both attend P/T conferences. There are so few times that we get to have direct interaction with the teacher, that we both like to take advantage of it when we do. It makes it a bit easier that the teachers schedule conferences for our girls back to back, so we only have to take time off on one day.

I have been impressed with DH's contributions to the process.

Denae