Painkiller dependence

[Shugardrawers]

I don't know exactly how to approach this so I'm hoping you all can help me come up with a kind and gentle way to do it.

I think my friend "Jane" is developing a dependence on rx painkillers. I wouldn't call her a hardcore addict just yet but she's definitely on the road. Jane's SO, "Judy", seems to agree although she stops just short of actually saying it. I'd say Judy is in denial about the actual extent of Jane's dependence. So, while she has voiced some concern to me, I think it will have to get a LOT worse before she's willing to confront Jane about it. I think Judy talked to me about it hoping I'd talk to Jane. I'm willing to do so but I don't really know what to say or how to say it. And even if Jane does admit there's a problem beginning here, I don't know what advice to give her about it all. And I don't want to lose her friendship in the process either. Anyone got some words of wisdom?

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

Does Jane (or was it Judy?) have a medical reason to be taking the painkillers?

 

[Shugardrawers]

Sort of. She broke her leg a couple of months ago and had surgery on it. Judy told me today that it's been 10 weeks and she doesn't really think Jane needs them so much any more. She thinks some advil would do the trick but that Jane keeps taking the hard stuff.

My biggest indication this is becoming a problem is that Judy (the SO) is a cancer patient (we met in support group) and she says some of her painkillers are disappearing. It's just the 2 of them so if Judy isn't taking them, it can only be 1 other person.

So yes, she did have reason but really not so much any more.

 

[Fan2CSkr]

Dependence or tolerance to a narcotic do not mean, (equal) addiction. Being dependant isnt usually a cause for concern unless she is taking them to get high, for non medical use.

Physical dependence, addiction and tolerance are different and very often confused. Some people on a narcotic therapy over time will become dependant on that drug (physically) and build a tolerance to that drug, but that doesnt make them an addict.

Be careful before you sit with your friend to discuss this. It could upset her greatly and I imagine it will especially if she is taking them for medicinal purposes.



Just read your second post! If thats the truth she may not need them anymore and her Doc wont be giving her anymore and your friend should be LOCKING up hers! Problem solved unless she tries to get them elsewhere but maybe cross that bridge when you get there. Good Luck

 

[hlbtimes2]

What type of pain meds are we talking about? Is it something strong and addictive like Oxycotin or is it something a little more run of the mill, like vicadin? Is she manipulating the system (forging rx's, going to more the one dr, going to more then one pharmacy,etc) to get refills?

 

[Cool-Beans]

Hoo-boy!

If Jane is recovering, the doctors will get her off "the hard stuff." I don't know what it is, but they'll taper it down. My general policy is that if someone is in pain they should get the painkillers. If they finish off the bottle when they didn't need to, that's their thing. But when the bottle is gone, it is gone.

But if Jane IS stealing Judy's painkillers, that isn't too fair to Judy. Perhaps she should count them. If she has and knows her SO is stealing them, she should be the one to bring it up. Her problem and her relationship.

That's MHO. You sound like a very good friend to have. And you know the people better than I...I'm sure you'll do what is right.

Good Luck!

 

[Shugardrawers]

According to Judy (the SO) she's taking Percocet. I just had surgery on my shoulder and I was taking those too so I know it's pretty strong stuff. So strong that I had to ask to be switched to something that didn't leave me so strung out. As I understand it, Jane is seeing an ortho doc for this. It appears that she also went to another doc for the same thing earlier this week and had an rx filled at a different pharmacy for the same med. Knowing her insurance wouldn't cover it again so soon, she paid cash for it. She gave Judy a semi-plausible story of a mix up with the docs office but Judy doesnt buy it at all. Judy and I both see a LOT of red flags but neither of us knows for sure if the line has been crossed.

From what I've heard and seen myself, Jane does look to be getting hooked and trying to score more than she needs but I'm not her doc and certainly no expert on addiction. I don't have the vaguest idea of how to proceed or what advice to give Judy since I'm not real sure it's my place to get involved to begin with ya know?

 

[pearlieq]

It would be nice if it were as simple as "if she doesn't need them anymore the doctor won't give her any more". Unfortunately, pain meds really aren't that hard to come by, at least for a while.

Since there are a lot of unknowns at this point, I would still approach your friend, but more along the lines of "I saw something on TV about how painkillers. They said that lots of time doctors don't monitor them closely enough and people wind up taking them longer than they should". It might not be the exact honest truth, but it might get her talking and you might be able to get some information from her about how her doctor is monitoring her pain meds.

The other thing that needs to be done is that her partner needs to secure her medication so that your friend can't get at it. Not only will it keep her out of it, but it might provoke a confrontation that needs to happen.

Good luck to all of you...

 

[Tiggeroo]

my son broke his hand in five places this winter. He really needed the pain meds and was on them to varying degrees for close to six months. I expressed concern to several doctors handling the case and none of them felt it was a problem. They said it would only be a problem if he wasn't in pain, he was.
My son didn't take the stronger ones the whole time. He started with percocet and vicodin and weaned down to tylenol 3, I think. As the pain gradually got better he began to ask for things that didn't string him out so much.

 

[lookingforward]

I admire your concern and obvioius affection for her. If it were me I would definately have a friendly conversation with her. Perhaps approach her pain level, like "are you having a lot of pain". Maybe she is and maybe she isn't. Ask her if she needs the pain meds to get by and evaluate her response.

I see a LOT of pain med addictions in my job and it is a very serious issue. Considering she had surgery weeks ago, perhaps her pain was not fixed and she is still suffering. Whatever the outcome, understanding and acceptance of her pain is the first step to her opening up to you about it. You are a good friend to worry.

 

[Pop Daddy]

Jane and Judy huh, oh baybeeee

 

[Shugardrawers]

Jane and Judy huh, oh baybeeee

Oh PD, leave it to you to lighten the mood