P&PD + P request for DH's family and me, please

[Rajah]

So, what's the + P? + Patience.

As I posted a while back, DH's grandmother is very sick. She's now been moved to a nursery home and they don't expect her to last the month. DH is less optimistic -- he's not expecting her to last the week.

Well, DH comes from a very stoic family. You do NOT show emotions. Period. So in situations like this, things become very, very uncomfortable. And DH doesn't handle show of emotion very well. The next month or so are not going to be good with his family. So for them, I'd like to request some P&PD that they can make it through this experience together and without killing each other.

As for me, *I* don't handle the inlaws very well when sympathy should be involved. I'm sure that over the next few weeks I'm going to have many times when I'll want to strangle my FIL or metaphorically whap my MIL across the back of the head to knock some sense into her. FIL doesn't know the meaning of tact or sympathy or compassion, MIL is torn between hysterics or total stoicism. I'm going to need a lot of patience to not strangle them (primarily FIL) and instead be supportive. Especially for DH.

Thanks y'all.

 

[chell]

You've got it!!!!! Sending tons and tons of P&PD your way! And patience too!

 

[Angelrose]

sending lots of P & PD + lots of P. Good luck.

 

[FloridaCat]

Prayers and PD to ease your pain and grant your hearts desire

 

[nativetxn]

Oh honey, I'm sorry to hear about Von Drake's grandmother. So sad, bless her heart.

You know what? You will need to be the comforter in this situation. You are a sweet and caring person and I know you were mostly teasing but prepare yourself. You're going to have learn the secret of the discreet arm sqeeze, the slight pat to the shoulder, whatever they can tolerate.

My friend Pam's own parents refused to be present as she lay dying, it was too uncomfortable for them. Everyone grieves in their own way. I don't pretend to understand how one could not be there with their own child, but they suffer their own pain, they just cannot show the face of their pain to the world.

You will need patience, you already have the caring heart. You're going to have to overlook some stuff. I know you will be there for all of them, though. You are too loving a person to do otherwise.

I'm keeping you and your inlaws in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie, especially your sweet husband.

Katholyn

 

[JohnTBap]

I know you can do this, Rajah. {{{HUGS}}} and best wishes.

 

[Princess Michelle]

Praying for all of you, Tammi. {{{hugs}}}

 

[Serena]

sure thing, whatever you need. {{{hugs}}}

 

[Rajah]

Just got some more info.

She apparently has advanced parkinsons disease and is suffering from dimentia (sp?). She apparently had a court order that her grandchildren not see her when she's sick like this, too. Not that she'd recognize them, anyway. They may have found a loophole that will allow them to see her, but DH isn't sure at this point he wants to -- especially since it was her wish that the grandchildren not see her sick (she wanted them to remember her well, not like this).

Well, to make matters worse, her husband / DH's grandfater is so upset over this (understandably) that he's crashed his car twice (how he survived, no one knows). It's now totalled, so he doesn't have that car. The family sold the grandmother's car, so there is no car for him to drive -- which is good considering he's in no state of mind to drive right now. There are apparently 6 children there in town (plus at least one more -- FIL -- who isn't there in town) and they're making sure he has transportation when he needs it as long as he doesn't drive.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Hoping things go well in the days and weeks ahead, Tammi, and my best wishes and prayer for Michael's grnadmother. {{Hugs}}

 

[CourtasanSatine]

(((((hugs))))) and PD on the way

 

[snoopy]

Having just spent the last two weeks with my inlaws arranging my MIL's funeral, I can say that I absolutely can relate, Rajah. They are the stoic types too, the whole lot of them, including my husband. Coming from a very demonstrative Italian family, I used to find this very difficult to deal with.

But in the 17 years we've been married, I've learned to just accept that all families are different. I try and be what Kath described - the comforter. I keep my mouth shut about what I perceive to be their shortcomings and try and offer comfort in a non demonstrative type way - whether it be a pat on the shoulder or a warm smile. I used to be afraid to let my emotions show around them, fearing that it would make them uncomfortable, but I now feel that as hard as it is for them to show emotion, its as hard for me not to. They accept me, and I accept them, and respect each other for our differences.

Good luck, Tamie - if I can be of any assistance, a shoulder to cry on, or just a listening ear, please let me know. I'll keep your family in my prayers, sweetie.

 

[Minniespal]

Whatever you need and {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

 

[dtuleya]

I can relate to DH's family being VERY different from the way I was raised. That is tough enough when things are going great, but when trouble arises it throws them for a loop. Here's loads of PD, Prayers and Patience to help you, your DH and his family get through this trying time. {{{HUGS}}}

 

[helenabear]

Tammi, I am wishing you, Michael and all his family all the best in the upcoming weeks. My prayers are with his grandmother as well {{hugs}}

 

[DoeWDW]

I'm sending prayers up for all involved. Bless your heart for realizing that this will be a tough time for all and trying to figure out how best to help them.

May God grant you peace and serenity and strength for the days ahead.

 

[glo]

Lots of P&PD + P coming your way Rajah. Big hugs to you too .....

 

[Pat_Elliott]

Hang in there Tammi. I have no stoic in me. I think at this point, your best bet would be to be who you are and let the chips fall where they may. Sending all the P, PD, patience, and STRENGTH that you may need. You're in our thoughts.

Pat

 

[Blondie]

Coming your way Tammi!

 

[oldkicker]

Many good wishes, P, PD + P for all of you during this difficult time, Rajah....