Our trip week is ruined by the inlaws : (

[natnelliesmom]

Yup! I agree with others in just saying that you've already made unchangable plans for that weekend and are unable to attend.

This is my thought too! You planned for the original wedding date. It's unfortunate that they chose this weekend, but you already have plans!
-Sarah

 

[teacher100]

Just going to throw something out there... you are very concerned about your dd missing school. imho, missing school in 1st grade is incredibly a non-event. Unless you have a teacher or principal that is very against vacations, most are supportive and would encourage you to do it. (most believe family time is important and the children learn alot)

QUOTE]


Most teachers in the younger grades are supportive of children going on vacations because parents who do this are willing to cover the work that is missed. First grade is not a "non-event". At least in the state I live in any way. By the end of the year they sould be able to pick up most children's books and read them. It is the most important grade because it is where they get their foundation. I am very supportive of families who take school seriously when they want to go on a vacation. However, if the child is failing and refuses to make up work because it is their vacation I am totally against it. It sounds like the OP is not this type of parent. If your child is keeping up talk with the teacher and see what they think.

 

[mom2aredhead]

You seem concerned about your dd and the fact that she made the cutoff by hours. This, to me, is a bigger issue that I would pay attention to now. Is she doing okay in K ? Is she behind ? Very importantly (!!), how is she doing socially ? Don't let her young age be an excuse to not do something. Make sure she is in the right class now b/c to hold her back at a later date may be perceived as a stigma, but no one knows when they are young.

And in response to the above, I would say kudos to the OP for letting her start school if you felt she was ready rather than follow the "i don't want my kid to be the youngest" trend and waiting until she was 6 or 7 to enter kindergarten. A child's birthday is only one of MANY MANY factors that determines a child's success or failure in school...not the most important one.

And to the OP - check the dates for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippour - maybe you can work around those days if schools are closed for a day or 2 then - a lot of the NJ public schools are. We had a fabulous trip this year taking advantage of the Yom Kippour days that fell in the end of September...and there was a nice room discount available too!

 

[scrapquitler]

I'd skip the wedding (just send your regrets and let your relatives know that you already had vacation plans) and send a nice gift.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Some people aren't as close to family members as others are.

If I had arranged my family's vacation time around the wedding of a sibling's child and THEN had them move it to when we would be away...then yes I would consider not going to the wedding.

I wouldn't plan our vacation during the wedding if I knew ahead of time...but if it was scheduled around the wedding and their dates changed...that is another story.

Please don't judge others based upon your family dynamics... everyone's family dynamic is different.

ITA! For example my DH and I are in no way close to (OK, so I am not close) with his one brother and his wife and son (although HD and BIL work together in fam business). Granted the child is 3, but I would not give up WDW for the nephew's wedding...then again we will have an excuse because we are moving 3,000 miles away to a different country However, for DH's other 2 brothers I would come for the weddings

Minnie1012...I think you are making the right decision (not that my opinion matters ). It is very special for you daughter to be part of this wedding...I am sure she will have a wonderful time and be beautiful

 

[tytydane]

They didn't do it just to mess this up for you, you haven't even booked your trip so don't blame them! They gave a YEAR in advanced it's not like they changed the date a week before just because they KNEW your had already booked a trip, go to the wedding.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

They didn't do it just to mess this up for you, you haven't even booked your trip so don't blame them! They gave a YEAR in advanced it's not like they changed the date a week before just because they KNEW your had already booked a trip, go to the wedding.

Maybe this is a good case for short engagements or elopments with a big party after

No time is a perfect time for everyone

 

[minnie1012]

My daughter is doing well in school. I had parent/teacher conferences last week. She is also great socially, is very friendly with everyone even adults. Her only real issue is fine motor skills. Probably because after she cut her own hair I wouldn't let her have scissors for a while!

I checked the Jewish Holidays and one is a Saturday so I'm not sure they will get any days for that one. Maybe for Yom Kippur though. So if my husband isn't blocked from vacation we might go the week of 9/28. It doesn't look good though because he usually can't take vacation around that time. So then we would have to find another week. I just want to get it booked already!

 

[mom2aredhead]

I checked the Jewish Holidays and one is a Saturday so I'm not sure they will get any days for that one. Maybe for Yom Kippur though. So if my husband isn't blocked from vacation we might go the week of 9/28. It doesn't look good though because he usually can't take vacation around that time. So then we would have to find another week. I just want to get it booked already!

That's when we were there this year - 9/29 - 10/4. No crowds, no lines, room discount, and we hit MNSSHP and Food and Wine Festival. It was fabulous...Oct is actually my very favorite time of year to go...hope you can work it out.

Glad your daughter's doing well in school - my son is also a "just made the cutoff" kid, and people (here on the Dis especially) think it's close to criminal that he went to kindergarten before his 5th birthday...but he's also an only child who was bottle fed and never went to Montessori school, so according to all the "experts" he was doomed anyway. Sending him to kindergarten wouldn't do much more damage...

 

[ilandrazdsw]

That's when we were there this year - 9/29 - 10/4. No crowds, no lines, room discount, and we hit MNSSHP and Food and Wine Festival. It was fabulous...Oct is actually my very favorite time of year to go...hope you can work it out.

Glad your daughter's doing well in school - my son is also a "just made the cutoff" kid, and people (here on the Dis especially) think it's close to criminal that he went to kindergarten before his 5th birthday...but he's also an only child who was bottle fed and never went to Montessori school, so according to all the "experts" he was doomed anyway. Sending him to kindergarten wouldn't do much more damage...

At least your children have kindergarten to prepart tham for first grade. The Bahamian system begins them at 5 in the 1st grade...NO K for prep, just right in! Fortunately there is a nursery school here, but in no way compares to a K program!!!

My DS cut my DD's hair and I still don't let them use scissors!!! Figure the cats' tails are next

 

[C&G'sMama]

Our kids are in 3rd and K. We've been taking DD out since pre-K. When they hit 6th grade we'll probably have to stick to a stricter school schedule (or home school, not kidding). We arrange with the school ahead of time. My feeling is these are my kids and I'm not going to let the state dictate when I can take vacation. Typical break times don't always go with when I can get away from work and quite frankly it's usually cheaper to go off peak. If the school feels that strongly, they can pay the difference ... but I digress.

As far as kids being 4 when they start K. In New York the cut off date is December 1 so I know many children that start kindergarten at 4. It depends on the kid.

As far as the wedding it's your family and your call. I have over 25 nieces and nephews. It all depends on who it is and how close I am to them.

Good luck.

 

[SoonipiLady]

I think you need to change your heading. It's not in-laws causing the problem, it's some flakey bride.


Women.

especially since the OP states it was DH's nephew who changed the date.

Well my husband's nephew decides to change his wedding date and is now getting married that Friday of the week we want to be away! I can't wait till 2010 to go, this is so depressing.

We too had to change our date by a week, totally NOT by choice. We scheduled our wedding for the third weekend in September over a year in advance. Our church is in a historic district of our city that has a huge festival the second weekend in September. No automobile traffic is allowed in a 8 or 10 square block area that weekend. No weddings in the several churches that are in the area, no large receptions or reunions at the restaurants, etc.

Guess what? The City's Historical Society decides to hold the event ont he THIRD weekend that year.

Unavoidable changes occur in life, including wedding plans....not all caused by "Flakey Brides".

Rant over, thanks!

 

[TommyTutone]

If you go to the wedding, do so because that is what you and your immediate family feel is best. I have a feeling that the groom will be overwhelmed between rehearsals, preparation, steeling not only his own nerves but his bride-to-be's as well. If you are especially close to said nephew, then consider changing the Disney trip, but if not, he is going to have too much going on to feel slighted. Like someone else said, send a sincere note of thanks for the invitation, a gift, and then enjoy your family trip to Disney.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

If the school feels that strongly, they can pay the difference ... but I digress.

 

[surfgirl]

btw, I think it is great that people are making the individual choice for their family whether to start school on time or wait a year. I just got a sense of concern from the OP that she was concerned about her daughter b/c she was young. As a parent of a girl with an April birthday, I see that she is frequently the youngest since all the boys with summer birthdays (and May, too ...) are being red-shirted. (and they are BIG). Also depends on what state you are in and whether you plan on staying there.

back to your scheduled programming.

 

[bumbershoot]

I was just curious to know why the poster before me made the comment that he/she did about not wanting to go during Jersey Week, as though there was something negative to be said about it....

I've read here about Jersey Week, that's it's insanely crowded and difficult. Simple b/c so many people are coming down b/c they have some of those days off...when everyone has the same idea, it's not always a good thing!

They changed the wedding because the bride wanted a fancy reception hall. That hall was only available on a Friday in November. So now the wedding is in Philadelphia instead of NJ.

Nothin' wrong with wanting a nice place for a reception! As for having it in a different place, we had our whole wedding in a different state, around 3 hours away if traffic was bad. And a friend of mine had her wedding...we were expecting it to be in her lovely hometown of Hadden Heights, but for some reason she had the wedding in Cherry Hill and the ceremony in gosh knows where (we literally had to follow people, b/c they didn't have directions or the address of the hall on anything!!!!!), and it was very difficult for us to figure out how to get around. At least you know the terrain.

The OP/her family is apparently close to the nephew. As the OP has said, her DD was asked to be in the wedding and her DD is excited about being in the wedding. I didn't base anything on my family dynamics, I was basing it on the posts by the OP. It appears you are the one basing it on your family dynamics.

Many of the "skip its" were before the full understanding of the OP's closeness was revealed over the course of several short posts. And some people don't read anything but the OP before replying! That always has to be taken into account when trying to figure out why people reply how they do.

 

[nextidiot]

Blow off the wedding or pull the kids out of school. I have heard every nightmare scenario about pulling you child out of school for a week and I don't buy any of it. Sorry.

Your kids are only young for a short while.

 

[minnie1012]

As of right now it looks like we are going the last week of Sept. into October and pulling her out of school. We will then be there for her birthday which will be so cool. So I think things may work out even better. They say everything happens for a reason! Now I just have to hope we can get a room where we want to stay!

 

[Maroon]

And in response to the above.

 

[lisa6373]

You don't want to go Jersey Week anyway.

We thought that too when we went during that time last year (not from Jersey so I wasn't aware of it until after I made my plans), but it really was fine.