She's a tough lady, with several grown kids, and I've learned a lot from her over the years. I don't agree with everything she does, and I don't do things the same way with my kids, but I've definitely come to admire her.
But there is another kind of help I can definitely do without!
On another occasion when my son was four (it was a rough year), he stole a novelty pencil from a friend's house. I caught him, and made him give it back with an apology. He cried, of course. And what does my friend (a mother herself!) do? She says, "Oh no! It's okay! Don't make him apologize. He can have the pencil."
Well, you know what? Stealing is NOT okay, and no he can't have the pencil!
Wow, snarky enough over a light hearted post
Actually, I don't think this is the goal for a lot of parents-and you can see that in a lot of threads here. There are a lot of parents out there that are more concerned that their kids are popular or the best athlete or the best student then they are with them being nice, well behaved people.
)
You wrote this to respond to my post.
And, we actually agree!!!!!
So, actually, we agree!
While I don't think others have some inherent right, or permission via some unwritten 'parent code', to involve themselves in disciplining another parents kids. Sometimes one does have to step up when the situation is bordering on out-of-control, dangerous, and very disruptive.
The OP's original post was just not that kind of situation.
But there is another kind of help I can definitely do without!
On another occasion when my son was four (it was a rough year), he stole a novelty pencil from a friend's house. I caught him, and made him give it back with an apology. He cried, of course. And what does my friend (a mother herself!) do? She says, "Oh no! It's okay! Don't make him apologize. He can have the pencil."
Well, you know what? Stealing is NOT okay, and no he can't have the pencil!
I've been thinking about this, in light of a certain other thread, and it occurs to me that I've got conflicting opinions on the issue...
Years ago, when my son was four, he had a meltdown at a gymnastics event. As I was trying to drag him off into a corner for a time out, he was screaming and hitting. Suddenly, another parent stepped up and dropped down on her heels to look him right in the eye. "You DO NOT hit your Mother!" she said, wagging her finger at him. "You NEVER hit your Mother!"
My son immediately stopped crying and sat right down on the bench for his time out. And once I got over my initial shock, I thought, "Wow, that was pretty awesome." So I went over, thanked her, and we're very good friends now. And the best part is, my son never tried to hit me again!
But there is another kind of help I can definitely do without!
On another occasion when my son was four (it was a rough year), he stole a novelty pencil from a friend's house. I caught him, and made him give it back with an apology. He cried, of course. And what does my friend (a mother herself!) do? She says, "Oh no! It's okay! Don't make him apologize. He can have the pencil."
Well, you know what? Stealing is NOT okay, and no he can't have the pencil!
While that second woman's interference briefly annoyed me, I was grateful for the first, even if (or maybe especially because) it wouldn't have occurred to me at the time to make "hitting Mommy" a big issue.
I don't want to bring up my kids in a vacuum, where I'm stuck with all the responsibility - I want to bring them up as part of a broader society, where they have to get along with all sorts of people, not just me. I don't think I'd do a very good job, all by myself. There are times when I can use the help!
And I'm worried that if they get the attitude, "No one tells me what to do, just my mom!" that eventually they'll decide that, "No one tells me what to do - not even my mom!" And that doesn't bode well for holding down a job, or maintaining a marriage, or any kind of success in life. We all have to deal with authority, every day of our lives.
What's been your experience with other people "parenting" your kids? Has it been good? Bad?
OMG!!! This totally reminded me of our last trip to Disney just his past May. My DS2 had fallen asleep in his stroller. My DH and DD7 had gone into Mickey's Philharmagic. I was walking around the front of the theatre outside so he would continue to sleep. Anyway, this woman walked by and gave me a dirty look. She then came back and told me his head needed to be moved because it was up agains the plastic bar and looked painful. I was very nice and thanked her but said that it was not bothering him since he was sound asleep and he would move if it was uncomfortable. She left in a huff, then turned around and came back and moved his head. Wouldn't you know that he woke up screaming because she woke him. She didn't say anything about it. I was shocked. I would NEVER lay my hand on another child. Especially, a sleeping baby. I was so mad.
When I was growing up - a million years ago - LOL - it was the "norm" for everyone to correct the bad behavior of a child - regardless of "who" the child "belonged to".. And I remember clearly, that if word got back to my parents that "Mrs. Smith" from the neighborhood had to correct me, I was in twice the amount of trouble..
When my kids were growing up, it was still the same (early 70's to early 80's)..
Now? If you so much as look at the child of someone else who is misbehaving, many parents are ready to sue your pants off; punch you in the face; or let loose with a string of language worse than that of a trucker..
Obviously there has to be some kind of line drawn in the sand, but I think we have swung waaaaaay too far in the wrong direction.. Just look at the abuse that teachers have to put up with? Can you imagine if it's "only" a neighbor, an aunt, or a friend??
But I was raised by parents who expected us to respect ALL adults, not just them. And who wanted us to respect the norms of society and be productive members of society.
I see kids with no respect for other people's property and parents that say "just relax, what's the harm?". The harm is that your kids don't respect rules or laws! 
I couldn't agree more and I wasn't raised a million years ago
And at a time where ME, ME, ME wasn't the focus and common sense actually still existed.
Now I hear teenage kids and even middle school kids yelling and cursing at their parents/grandparents - in public
And I can't imagine having a problem with a stranger saying "Don't hit your mom!" maybe your kid will actually listen if it comes from someone outside the situation and it will mean something to them. If you are so embarrassed by it, why not tell your child to stop hitting you? Or the more PC, "it's not okay to hit"? Maybe if the person heard you saying that, they wouldn't feel like they needed to step in.
I agree with a PP who summed it up correctly, everyone is so concerned with how they look to others and their little snowflake might feel about being corrected by someone else, that we have lost site of the fact that these kids are part of a larger society and that they need to learn how to behave in it.
