I have two (three?) viewpoints here. I grew up with age differences between myself and my siblings. I have children close together and spaced.
Between my oldest sister and I are seven years, four years between my next sister and I and eight years between my little brother and I. My kids are spaced with three years between #1 and #2, a little over a year between #2 and #3 and about five years between #3 and #4. Having children close together and having them far apart each has its pros and cons.
Growing up, I had nothing in common with my sisters. Not such a big deal when we, and I mean I, were littler, but the older they got and the older I got, the more friction there was. My mother complains that family vacations were always difficult; finding something that would make everyone happy. That is also the reason we all always had friends traveling with us.
I don’t even remember my brother’s childhood. I was off with my friends, doing my thing, and he was doing whatever he was doing. My mother was talking about his lazy eye, and I was surprised. She told me he wore an eye patch for a year. I have no memory of this, but I was in high school. I have adult relationships with my oldest sister and my brother now, but we’re not super close. We didn’t grow up together and we live in three separate states. We’re in three different stages of life—my sister is a divorced, single mom, my brother is single and dating, and I am rooted deeply in my family. We only see each other once a year, if that.
My older three are all close. We make sure of it. Conscience decision on my part. It’s nice having time alone with a child and only one in diapers. Although, honestly, two in diapers isn’t that big of a deal. It’s actually easier to go to a larger diaper bag than no diaper bag back to a diaper bag. It’s starting all over again, and I’m not going to lie, it’s hard. But, not having two in college at the same time is a nice bonus. Heck, even not having two in preschool at the same time is a nice bonus. You do become quite split as they have little kid and big kid interests. You are always shifting gears. The least amount of jealousy is actually between the two that are closest in age. They want to do the same things at the same time, so they are happy to be together; it’s a big play date. It can be hard on the older ones to suddenly have to give up things they are used to having or to stop when baby needs something, like a diaper change.
I don’t mean to make it sound bad to have age gaps, it isn’t. Whatever you have, it works for you. It’s not like you have a choice. You have to find ways to connect your children. You have to be flexible with younger children--make sure they can nap wherever they are. Know the little one will do whatever the older one does so they have a shorter childhood. Make sure each has time for their activities; switch off which parent goes where (mom takes oldest to baseball one week, dad the next). Don't make the littler one skip everything for the older ones activities.
As far as Disney goes, it’s a lot of baby swapping at rides. Which is a nice bonus for the older child, who gets to ride twice in a row. Disney is for all ages, so it works well.
). Does it cause difficulties - sometimes. As long as you are prepared it all works out.
