OT: Working Moms, does your child come home after school before you? When is it ok?

[chrisn]

Both DH and I work full time. Our DD is a HS Senior and our DS is 8 1/2 in 3rd grade. DD goes off to college in the fall but right now she gets DS after school unless he has that fricked up "early day" then he goes to daycare for an hour or two. I understand that there has to be a certain maturity level and in some cases there are state laws but around what age do you think it would be ok for a child to come home after school by themselves for an hour or so until mom gets home? It's sneaking up on me and I would like some flame free opinions.

 

[powellrj]

my kids are 22, 14 and 9 and I have almost always worked full-time. It really depends on the kid. With my oldest, he was comfortable coming home and staying by himself in the 4th grade for about 1/2 an hour.

With my middle one, we didn't leave him alone until he was in middle school because he wasn't comfortable and we also had older DS home first for him to stay with most days.

Youngest DD is the one we are working with now. She comes home and stays with her DB who is now in high school afterschool, and we will be sending her back to child care this summer because I don't feel they are ready to stay more than 1/2 hour together alone.

Does your school offer afterschool care? Are there afterschool programs he can attend? I am just not sure I would feel comfortable leaving a 9 year old alone for anymore than a 1/2 hour on a daily basis.

 

[swillis]

My DD is 11 and my DS will turn 10 in 2 weeks. My DD comes home from school and lets herself in everyday except Wednesday on her own. She is home for about an hours before I get home. That is usually within minutes of when my DS gets home as well.

Both of my kids stay home alone form time to time while I run an errand. It started off with really small increments. And they have to WANT the responsibility. Both of them know the rules too.

DD lets the dog out, and while she is watching the dog she calls me at work. That's the only time she is allowed outside while I'm not home. SHe has a little snack, and starts her homework. It's worked out well so far.

School vacations my kids go to the YMCA program, even though my daughter really hates the program. Still too young for a whole day w/ out supervision.

 

[ptrbryant]

I know in Kentucky, it's illegal to leave a child at home alone unless they are age 12 and older. I agree with the other poster that it's very important to see how comfortable your child is with the concept...a child's sense of security is worth much more than convenience.

Karla B.

 

[runwad]

I think (?) the law is they can stay home alone at age 11. My daughter is 10 and I'm home when she gets home from school, but summers she has to go to daycare and this is the last summer she can go to daycare. I don't think I'll be comfortable leaving her home alone all day in the summer, so I'll probably get a babysitter to come to the house. Although she'd be fine staying home all day alone.

 

[SeptDisney]

I don't know if there is a YMCA near where you live, but they often offer part-time after school care (they also would provide care for early release and teacher workdays.) They also offer financial assistance if paying for after school care is a burden.

 

[disneychrista]

I think 9 is too young for by themselves. My DD started staying home with her sister when they were 10 & 12 and only for a few hours at a time. She wouldn't even think about staying by herself until she was 11 .5.

I would deffiently see if there is another option (like the after school day care) or boys and girls club. My DD's now13 (in 7th grade) and 15 (in 9th grade) both go to the Boys and Girls Club "Teen" after school every day. IMO, they are better off in a supervised program then home alone for 3 hours after school.

 

[paigevz]

We let my son come home alone 1 day a week for about 2 hours. We just started this in the Spring semester of his 5th grade year.

I work until 6 M-TH, his dad gets off at 4 two of those days, but the other two he works until 5 and 6. So, the 6 o'clock day, the babysitter brings the two kids to me at my tutoring job. The 5 o'clock day, we just started letting the older one stay home while the younger is still brought to me. He just really didn't want to come..........but I still insist on the 6 o'clock day.......I just think that's too long alone.

I am debating on what to do about next year. If I should take a tutoring job or not, as we won't have the sitter next year, the little one will be in daycare/preschool to get some experience being with other kids before K. So that means he'd come home alone every day.........some days only for an hour, some for two, one for three. Just not too sure what I should do about that........and he will be in middle school.

I would've been uncomfortable with him doing it at all in third grade.........

 

[daisyduck123]

My DD11 (7th grade) sometimes gets off the bus before I get home...but DH is usually there to meet her. I do not want her walking into the house alone....you never know who could be watching.

DS8 comes to & from work with me at elementary school!!
We get home about 4 p.m.